What Is The Longest You Have Gone Without A Wank?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Since your first one, duh.

― Tom, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

umm, probably about two weeks...ummm

― Geoff, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I worked out that the longest was about six days at a dinner party last week. Just when I was making the custard for the apple pie.

No-one wanted custard after that.

― Pete, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Geez, Tom. You, too? When will this sex madness STOP?!?

Oh - my answer. While in a Serious 'Ship, a couple of months. Going solo, a couple of weeks. Sometimes, I actually manage to not think about "it" all that often. I think I've actually tried NOT to, to see if I became super-smart like George in _Seinfeld_ once was. Oh yeah.

― David Raposa, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

6 minutes 20 secs. I thought that was quite impressive at the time. Jesus, are you lot complete control freaks or what?

― Nick, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I worked out that the longest was about six days at a dinner party last week. Pete, that's amazing. Did the guests have to remain seated all that time? How many courses were there? Did other people get restless and wank into their napkins etc. etc.
― Cheap joke Dastoor, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Has my italics faux pas spoiled whatever humour there was in that joke to start with?

― No comic genius Dastoor, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No.

On basis of current posts, New Forum Title: I LOVE WANKING?

― the pinefox, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But Pinefox, that's already the name of the Radiohead forum! ( haha, just kidding, you know I love them.)

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

*stops*

Two months, not in a relationship. I think I was legally dead.

*starts up again*

― Dave M., Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Since I've started posting on ILE/ILM -- this is the substitute!

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tantric masturbation, a contradiction in terms?

― jel, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dunno abt contradiction but it certainly eats into yr time

(But whenever you flag, that mantra pops back into your mind: ONE MORE IN-DOOR!)

― mark s, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When i was 17 i was still heavily Mormon. I admitted to two missionaries that i beat off. They gave me a picture of Jesus. I was supposed to think of Jesus every tiem i wanted to "touch myself inapproitly" (sp). I hung that picture up. I threw away tempting books and secualr music. I fasted, prayed every hour and didnt jack off. It lasted about two months . I was miserable. That is when i realized my life would never be Mormon.

― anthony, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I only tried to quit when I was a Freshman in High School but then I realised it was too good to give up despite peer pressure. Maybe thats when I became an outsider.

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jesus is kind of cute, with that beard and all. I don't think that would work on me.

― Dave M., Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Maybe a week. *looks around, notices she's the only girl to answer this thread*

― Melissa W, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mike, were you doing it in public? Exactly which mentalist crowd did you hang with that frowned upon wanking? (or even discussed it enough to form a policy consensus?)

Me: 3 weeks. God knows why. It wasn't force of habit that ended it, just the resultant vacant apathy.

― Graham, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is all you people do jerk off?

― Ally, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I mean in my group it was generally frowned upon. Though I did know of some kids who had a contest to see where was the oddest place they could come. One came in a library

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ally: So answer the question.

Mike: But how did they know?

― Graham, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I can't answer this question! Like a year at least. I just don't like sex and don't bother trying to get off.

― Ally, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

actually i hope this thread grows becasue this issue bothers me. I mean I woudl hate to think my enjoyment of T and A is the result of messed up women's lives, you know?

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

HOW CAN YOU GO A YEAR
If i do not relase the dragon daily it consumes me.
And thats with even with DAvid.

― anthony, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yeah, anybody who hates pornography is obviously a robot. See, Mike Hanley? See? I was only being pragmatic when I said people always say it's natural, not philosophical. People say it every minute.

― maryann, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Then I am a robot. I think it's boring.

― Ally, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm quite envious of Ally. I'm lucky if I can manage a week and even a few days without seriously distorts my thought processes.

― Tom, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I really feel like a freak right about now, guys.

― Ally, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Allybot will last a long time as her typing appendages never frequent her life hole. You can keep Allybot for years of pleasant posting and tartery!

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

five months pass...

I just came across this thread again. HO HO HO.

― NI, Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A few weeks maybe. I don't know. It's a long time since I've gone a long time without a wank.

Although if I was to wait a few weeks the rewards at the end would be pretty fantastic if not a little messy.

I've said too much again.

― Ronan, Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I just saw this in the new answers and thought, christ, what dirty bugger's asked that? Oh dear.

― Tom, Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the problem when you don't wank is how squirty the whole thing gets when you do.

― goeff, Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Squirty is bad?

― N., Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Return! To the spirit of perversion of the summer of 2001, ah those were the days etc.

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Before 9/11 spoiled everything. Oh no, hang on, I'm forgetting 'terror sex'

― N., Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

durr, terror sex is so 2001

― goeff, Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I didn't say it wasn't.

― N., Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But is squirty bad?

― Pete, Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Depends what you're trying to hit.

― Graham, Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why did Ptee repeat my question, anyway? Was he just keen that it be answered?

― N., Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Perhaps..erm...there's a problem.

― Graham, Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bad in the context of an orgasm can't be too bad can it?

― Ronan, Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, I've had some soul-destroying orgasms in my time.

― N., Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Soul destroying is a pretty ambiguous term in this context, but I presume you mean soul destroying in a Thom Yorke rather than a James Brown sort of way.

Still, at least you had an orgasm while you're soul was being destroyed.

― Ronan, Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Look at you with your 'you're'/'your' tomfoolery.

― N., Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fuck it, I did their/there this morning aswell. I never did these things until I found ILE you know?

― Ronan, Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I wouldn't want to ruin my image by not commenting on this thread. The longest I can remember is 12 days, and was the result of a bout of eczema, rather than will(y) power. When I was skiing a couple of weeks ago I went five days without one, without any reason, which is certainly the modern day record. My theory is that I was so completely exhausted (being an unfit, inexperienced skiier) that anything that wasn't an essential function of continuing to exist was shut down by my body. By the time I started again I was notable better at skiing. There's a moral in their somewhere.

― Mark C, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Allybot will last a long time as her typing appendages never frequent her life hole. You can keep Allybot for years of pleasant posting and tartery!

I'm going to post this on my fridge.

― Ally, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I realised yesterday that I hadn't thought about sex all weekend. Then wondered what was wrong with me.

― Ally C, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

six months pass...

Allybot will last a long time as her typing appendages never frequent her life hole. You can keep Allybot for years of pleasant posting and tartery!

fantastic! i came across this while looking for the ski resort called "wank" ...no, seriously! somewhere in Germany. Anyway Mark C this could be the ideal place for you to improve your skiing.

And to answer the question at hand (so to speak) frequency of self manipulation depends on frequency of group activities... they have an inversely proportional relationship.

― William G, Monday, 26 August 2002 07:39 (twenty-three years ago)

nine months pass...

I think during Basic Training I probably went three or four weeks.

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 16 June 2003 01:48 (twenty-two years ago)

you'd think the military would schedule it in or something

― ryan (ryan), Monday, 16 June 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

same thing for me, though really it was more like five weeks. the thing was I was EPO for my company and so whoever was doing 'sentry' would be right by my freaking bed most of the time.

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 16 June 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

so¿

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 16 June 2003 05:26 (twenty-two years ago)

12 years.
Somebody should change the thread title so it doesn't scare off da laydeez.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 June 2003 05:44 (twenty-two years ago)

4 weeks. strict catholic upbringing had convinced me that it was evil. and i'd heard that you can break any habit in 6 weeks. so when i was 15 i managed, by force of will alone, not to wank for 4 weeks. then i did. it was pretty upsetting when i realised i'd have to start counting up from 0 weeks again.

― pete b. (pete b.), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

Oh, ILX was such an innocent place in its early days, ha ha ha...

(thank god for the Random function on endless, boring Friday afternoons.)

― The Long Grey And Overcast Tea Time Of The Soul (kate), Friday, 12 January 2007 12:56 (nineteen years ago)

But Kate, tell us, how long?

Seriously...

Personally I find the whole custom a bit... I rather not know how long people have gone without a wank (or with a wank). It's just TMI all the way, y'know.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 12 January 2007 13:02 (nineteen years ago)

Ah, I just think it's funny - the male answers compared to female answers (i.e. that there are almost none of the latter, and how forthright the former are).

― The Long Grey And Overcast Tea Time Of The Soul (kate), Friday, 12 January 2007 13:08 (nineteen years ago)

I know. I realize that the guys are right. Who cares. I mean, it's ~~probably~~ a fun thing to do but then I'm a girl and I don't need a mental pic of Ronan (or any other guy) wanking away into oblivion.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 12 January 2007 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

No, I think it is actually physiologically different for males, like they generate so much sperm that they need to get rid of it. Men who wank every day get prostate cancer less, or something like that.

I don't think there's a similar thing for ladybits, though. I mean, we only produce our gametes once a month, so there's no build up.

― The Long Grey And Overcast Tea Time Of The Soul (kate), Friday, 12 January 2007 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

I, however, do need a mental pic of Ronan wanking away into oblivion to achieve climax.

― Frogm@n Henry (Frogm@n Henry), Friday, 12 January 2007 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

What's an oblivion? Don't we use tissues and sinks and buckets and the coffee machine at work anymore?

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 12 January 2007 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

I think socks were the preferred receptacle, going by another thread that really doesn't need to be revived.

― onimo (onimo), Friday, 12 January 2007 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

Longtemps je me suis branlé de bonne heure.

― Marcel Proust (Revivalist), Friday, 12 January 2007 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

Socks? Maybe I should take up sock knitting! Actually no, I don't. Maybe you're right, Kate, but I also think we are just raised differently.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 12 January 2007 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

the thought of doing it every day makes me queasy.

― reverto levidensis (blueski), Friday, 12 January 2007 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

...and dry most probably

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 12 January 2007 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

23 days, in summer 2004. two successive summer-camps, and you don't wank on summer-camp. then i realised i was on for a decent abstinence so i kept it going for another 4 days.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Friday, 12 January 2007 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

waht summer camp? like scouts?

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Friday, 12 January 2007 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

the few times i've gone more than 1-2 weeks in my semi-adult life, my sex dreams grew more vivid and intense and i wound up having wet dreams again, it was scary and gross and like, 'i have to go through this again?!' though of course, the answe is 'no,' and the problem was/ is easily solved.

i'm curious: how often do you wank when/ if you have a boy/girlfriend?

i live with my girl and we have sex kind of regularly -- still in the first year of living together, and it's 3-4 x/ week. but i still jerk off on average 3 times a week, on top of that...

shit, i think i'm a pervert! ohhhhhh no.

― Michael J McGonigal (mike mcgonigal), Friday, 12 January 2007 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

no, one was a 2-week classical greek summer-school, and the other was an extra-curricular (i.e. interesting, non-academic intellectual activities by day and fun (although equally stimulating) games/hikes/projects by evening and a mid-week trip to a local place of interest) week-long residential get-together for about 30 or so 'bright' children. it was my favourite week of the year for about 9 years running! xpost

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Friday, 12 January 2007 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

i'm curious: how often do you wank when/ if you have a boy/girlfriend?

as much as when i don't. that's all i have to say on the subject.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 12 January 2007 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

What, Never?

(getting all Gilbert and Sullivan once again)

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 12 January 2007 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

3 Hot Little Maids From School Part 17

― Johnney B English (stigoftdump), Friday, 12 January 2007 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

i've probably gone about a month, before. i usually go about a week or so in between.

― blood bitch (blood bitch), Friday, 12 January 2007 22:46 (nineteen years ago)

I'm kinda surprised anybody counts the days

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 12 January 2007 22:59 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.matthewhunt.com/taboo/paysagefautif.jpg

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 13 January 2007 02:55 (nineteen years ago)

oh wow, you too?

― Slumpman (Slump Man), Saturday, 13 January 2007 03:06 (nineteen years ago)

Mark, OKAY OKAY, I don't masturbate (much).

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Saturday, 13 January 2007 11:42 (nineteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.