The inevitable 'Twilight' thread

So there's these books and this movie coming out.

Guy who plays the vampire boyfriend speaks:

“It is bizarre,” he said. “People come from three states away and walk up to you trembling. I feel that I am at a disadvantage here because I can’t provide this mystical thing that they came for in the two seconds we have.”

A local radio D.J. fed him written questions from the audience, but his answers were buried by screaming.

“Do you guys care about the questions, or do you just want to talk about nothing?” Mr. Pattinson asked.

A young woman in a shirt emblazoned with the Cullen family crest spoke for many: “We just want to look at you.”

Forks, Washington, eh? I have been there. It would be hard to imagine a less romantic place. The town used to be full of loggers, who strip-mined the hills around town to feed the maw of the sawmill. Then they ran out of trees and started reaping a harvest of drunks and wife-beaters.

fuck this movie with knives

The books are Mormon teenage vampyre pr0n-irrific dreck (though okay for a flight) and I'm sure the theaters will be filled with shrieking hysterical girls, so will avoid this at all costs.

We spent a weekend over in Forks earlier this year and by chance rented the house Meyer stays in when she visits the area for "research".

most sinister scare quotes ever

I kind of like how Robert Pattinson openly hates this movie and has called out Stephanie Meyer for being a psycho:

When I read it, it seemed like (grimaces) I was convinced that ... Stephenie was ... convinced that she was Bella, and uh, and you, it wasn't, it was like it was a book that wasn't supposed to be published, like reading her ... her sort of sexual fantasy about some -- especially when she says that it was based on a dream, and it's like, "Oh, then I had a dream about this really sexy guy" and she just writes this book about it, and there's some things about Edward that are just so specific that it's like, I was just convinced that, that this woman is mad, she's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation and I -- sometimes you, like, feel uncomfortable reading this thing

I like reading Fandom Wank, so I have been aware of the books/movie for a while because it seems like one big crazy magnet.

Sense the mystery with Paramore:

hahaha that is almost as good as Kelly Clarkson on the press junket for "From Justin To Kelly" openly begging people not to go see the movie but to just send their kids in and go do something fun

Yeah, Pattinson's already my hero in all this, between that and the NYT quotes.

I am convinced this movie is going to be hilarious though, so when it comes to the local dollar theater I'm definitely going to see it.

Weird soundtrack -- does Pattinson have a song on this or is that some dialogue snippet?

----

1. Supermassive Black Hole -- Muse
2. Decode -- Paramore
3. Full Moon -- The Black Ghosts
4. Leave Out All The Rest -- Linkin Park
5. Spotlight [Twilight Mix] -- Mutemath
6. Go All The Way [Into the Twilight] -- Perry Farrell
7. Tremble For My Beloved -- Collective Soul
8. I Caught Myself -- Paramore
9. Eyes On Fire -- Blue Foundation
10. Never Think -- Rob Pattinson
11. Flightless Bird, American Mouth -- Iron & Wine
12. Bella's Lullaby -- Carter Burwell

in the shadows, boy meets man

Mormon teenage vampyre pr0n-irrific dreck

wait, are these books actually Mormon somehow? i kind of wish ilx had never alerted me to their existence.

i was wondering the same thing -- what is mormon-y about them? i knew of their existence but only because the mister is a YA reviews editor and he has a NO MORE VAMPIRES policy in full effect.

in the shadows, boy meets man

now i have this song in my head. i never realized how creepy it is!

looool at these books

i wonder if robert pattinson and stephanie meyer ever have to interact. awkward.

what's the connection between this and katy perry? white girls are on some frilly clothes and pincurls sexual yearning business these days

i think girls are kind of perpetually on some frilly clothes and pincurls sexual yearning business, but grown women should probably know better.

not "perpetually" i guess, but inasmuch as meyer cites jane eyre + anne of green gables as her influences, i certainly recognize the kind of odious reading of those books that she's participating in from my young adulthood and i'm 28.

ugh now i am all thinking and wondering about this gross phenomenon.

Mormon-y in the same way Orson Scott Card's books are Mormon-y. Her bored Mormon housewife persona bleeds through constantly. The "don't become a vampyre until you're married" bit really wore me down. Also, I read Host, her first book for adults (not really, it's the same over-romanticized dreck, though had some good sci-fi moments) which drew heavily on the survivalist communitarianism that solidly founds the Mormon take on daily life.

Also, the very very squicky moments involving the older boy who is "bonded" with a very very young girl child, waiting for her, grooming her to become his when she is mature.

okay SERIOUSLY fuck this movie with knives

ew
that's pretty gross

That turns up in, like, the 3rd book - it's the werewolves who do that, not the "vegetarian" vampyres. I was also not happy with her treatment of native americans, but that might just be me.

was this thread really inevitable?

gah! in the second book (i think) bella starts hurting herself in order to hear edward's voice in her head after he leaves, and her dad is portrayed as a clueless heavy for trying to stop it. there is so much fucked-up stuff in these books!

(of course i had to skim most of them.)

I enjoyed these books immensely. I'm a huge fan of YA fiction in general and although this series can't compare to HP or (not by a long shot) His Dark Materials, it's a good read.

I'm looking forward to the movie. But since the film rendition of Golden Compass was horrendous I will walk in without expectations of a good interpretation.

Fuck with knives those who hate with no first-hand knowledge

I've read them and enjoyed the first one a lot. They do have their moments, but the subtext really started to get to me by the 3rd book.

not trying to mindlessly hate - i really did think that the writing was bad, and i don't like a lot of the undercurrents running through the book w/r/t desire, relationships, sex, self-esteem, etc.

You had at least read them Lauren so I wasn't including you. :)

the "vegetarian" vampyres

They're opening for London After Midnight, right?

i skimmed through these books cause weve got a project at my job that involves them and i can see why adolescent chicks (and grown women who never really grew out of adolescence) flip shit but they are so TERRIBLY written and the message they send about love, sex, self-worth, etc is totally BIZARRE

message they send about love, sex, self-worth, etc is totally BIZARRE

expand on this

and

grown women who never really grew out of adolescence

fuck yourself on this

i'm reading this now, it is rubbish but not particularly bad rubbish. If I were a teenager, and a girl, I would understandably be all over them. it's not very well written (this pales next to any early anne rice obv.) but who cares.

whoa nelly i wasnt including u since ur clearly not flipping shit -- referring to the 30+ yr olds/moms waiting in line to meet robert pattinson

Since I had just said I enjoyed them immensely, I assumed you were including me.

I could care less about the actor. He doesn't sound particularly bright in the comments I've read from him. Movies are a different animal from books they are based on. Come Monday I might harbor hatred for this film but I stand by the books.

Really, I would like to hear some elaboration on why some of you think the "messages" the books send are bizarre/twisted.

i was kind of mindlessly hating, sorry. in part Meyer's description of how she came up with the books kind of weirded me out: http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/twilight.html

the book reinforces over and over again that love/sex/desire/whatever means pain and sacrifice. she can't have sex with edward, because it will most likely kill her. even so, without any sex, she still gets hurt by or because of him all the time. she's pretty much a walking injury by the second book. and then there's the head werewolf's girlfriend (i can't believe i just typed that phrase)- she was mutilated by him, but it's treated as the price you pay for love. plus, there's the self-harm thing i mentioned already. and edward is just really controlling, mean, manipulative and creepy.

yeah lauren on-point--plus bella is a total wuss who cant seem to do anything without edward, tries to kill herself when hes gone, is constantly having to be rescued by him, etc. shes supposed to go to an ivy league college and ditches it all for this retarded boy; when he gets super controlling shes all "oh he does it cause he loves me"

and the birth scene is just fucking gross and horrible and hammers home the scared-of-sex bullshit that goes on the whole time

i realize that i'm not the target audience for this book, but i really do like YA fiction so i was kind of surprised by my negative reaction to this series. i mean, i read all of the anne rice novels and stuff, so it's not like i don't enjoy a good dose of goth-y escapism.

tbh a big reason i disliked these is cause theyre just not very much fun, not even in an escapist daydream-y what if i was a vampire way

shes supposed to go to an ivy league college and ditches it all for this retarded boy;

To be fair she was only going to go because Edward was bribing her way in. She was only able to get into the University of Alaska or something.

I see all of your points, Lauren, although they weren't overtones that beat me over the head when I was reading.

I did find them very fun in a read-the-whole-thing-in-a-day type way. I reread the first one but couldn't do so with the second. I would classify these more in the line of the romance genre rather than "goth" or Anne Rice-y. They're kind of like a bag of potato chips.

they have very effective and compelling cover art, I'll give them that.

No question on that point.

Stephanie Meyer says things:

Earlier at a press conference, though, you mentioned that you butted heads with Rob over how each of you saw Edward.

Oh yeah! That was a worry! He’d sit there arguing with me telling me I’m wrong about this character. He thinks Edward is a lot more depressed than I do. He thinks Edward is on the point of suicide. I’m like, ‘No! He’s got his family that he loves. He‘s got Carlisle.’ And Rob would go (putting on a British accent), ‘Well, why does he like Carlisle so much? This man changed him into a vampire! What are you thinking?’ (Laughs) There were very intense conversations. But it was hysterical after the fact. I was worried though. I was thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, he’s going to go in there and play Edward like Edward The Emo. Nooooooooo.’ But he didn’t! And it’s exactly what I wanted to see. It was crazy, but he got it. It’s on the screen and that’s all that matters.

Later:

What did you think of the movie’s ending? [Note to readers: It’s a bit different from the way the novel ends.]

It was fantastic. I thought, ‘Now I’ve got them. They have to go on [with more movies], don’t they.’ (Laughs)

I guess they got rid of the squid.

does Pattinson have a song on this or is that some dialogue snippet?

It's an actual song. My sister played it for me, he sounds vaguely like Damien Rice.

God I hate these books. The prose style grates, the characters are either cardboard or intensely aggravating, and it offers some really weird, fucked-up ideas about relationships. The 108 year old vampire marrying an 18 year old girl? Totally cool 'cause it's true love, and their feelings will never change for any reason. The 16 year old (looks 24) shapeshifting werewolf grooming a baby for eventual marriage? Totally cool 'cause it's, like, biological imperative, plus the baby's mentally sophisticated because of lol vampire genetics.

Not to mention that Edward is just a genteel stalker and the book romanticizes some pretty fucked up behaviors in the name of EPIC LOVE. He climbs through her window every night to sit in the corner of her room and watch her sleep, without her knowledge or consent, and more than once he disables her car so she can't do something he perceives to be dangerous, even though she explicitly says she understands the risks and wants to do it anyway. And aside from all that he is often patronizing, condescending, and dismissive toward her, but it's brushed aside as good-hearted because he loves her so much.

On the other hand, the movie looks like it's going to be hilarious. Robert Pattinson has been a treasure trove of questionable publicity. Here's my favorite quote:

"When you read the book," says Pattinson, looking appropriately pallid and interesting even without makeup, "it's like, 'Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.' I mean every line is like that. He's the most ridiculous person who's so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn't to that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that's how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus he's an 108 year old virgin so he's obviously got some issues there."

the whole exact same penn state argument but just wrt best kiss trophies & the trickle down effect on the twilight economy

Deep thoughts.

the p.s. kinda diminished the emotional punch of its conclusion, but continuing scrolling to find that there is a new literary genre of verseblogging fanfiction restored my awe

Nicole I have no idea how you go through all of this stuff without being reduced to a gibbering wreck, it's super impressive

pattinson doesn't have a publicist? This explains so much.

I know. lol.

let's hope he never gets one. cute interview though. He is so charming when not acting in movies. Quit acting and just do interviews forever, R-Pattz.

and:
http://letterstorob.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/2012-08-13-23.40.09.jpg

Once is cute but this is getting rather boring.

Okay this is not what I call a visual of an epic finale:

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/180yygw0ir3h7jpg/original.jpg

"Quick, flat-facedly jog out of danger."

This poster makes me feel sad for Lee Pace and his life choices.

when I heard lee pace was cast I went "okay maybe he'll make this worth seeing," then pictures of him in character came out and I went "argggggggggggggggh."

tho tbh I was always going to be seeing this for joeks

I'm sure the money is good as well, but still.

http://i.imgur.com/dqUFU.png

Via Nicolarz, word of further doom

http://www.digitalspy.com/movies/news/a431243/twilight-movie-tv-spinoff-with-wolf-pack-in-the-works.html

It will never go away, will it?

it will linger... like twilight

Just need to properly hook up with MTV and make Teen Wolf Pack.

Teen Wolf Mother-synergy!

gonna see this bullshit tonight! i hope it ends with michael sheen tearing out everyone's throats while giggling.

man oh man. this movie was 95% the same vapid ill-considered dreck that the other movies were, but the other 5% was so WAIT WHAAAAAAT

like to the point where i walked out of the theater really happy i had just watched a twilight movie, it was the craziest feeling.

i mean i wouldn't recommend anyone go see this movie on its own merits, but after reading the books + seeing the movies + bitching about the series on messages boards for YEARS, this was an immensely gratifying conclusion.

I had heard this movie was bonkers even for a Twilight film.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u80iQk03V0A/UKVsdOKiD7I/AAAAAAAAAh0/CTMFjb6zD5U/s1600/Stewart+Cougar.gif

Cougartown oh wait

Bella's dad Charlie (who is now classing up the place as the lead in the new series Revolution) is a high point in Breaking Dawn Part 2. As ever, he's the only person who seems at all perturbed by what's going on. He's so upset that Jacob decides to come out to Charlie, to help him understand. To do this, Jacob visits Charlie, and tells him something like "This may be hard to understand but bear with me." Then he strips off his shirt. As Charlie reacts, Jacob says, "No really I have to tell you this, please let me," and takes off his jeans and underwear.

Then he turns into a werewolf. I love that there is this incredibly campy, silly scene in the middle of everything else, where basically Taylor Lautner has no reason whatsoever to deliver these double-entendre lines and strip. This scene is here for the same reason every sex scene is in every porn movie. Not because it makes sense, but because we are here to see men stripping and turning into werewolves while mustache dad cop watches.

So there's an epic troll on Twilight fans near the end of the film -- http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-twilight-saga-breaking-dawnpart-2,88790/

Yes, also clearly the best thing to happen in any of the Twilight movies.

Mitt, I'm worried about you.

the real question is, had he seen part 1? because the only thing scarier than a vampire chewing a baby out of a woman's uterus is mitt romney watching a vampire chewing a baby out of a woman's uterus.

that strained little half-grin on his face.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d98a8sULJg

man i bet mitt romney cried during the twist ending. he's had a hard couple of months and i bet the shock caused his eyes to well up with human tears. "no," i imagine him murmuring, "this can't be happening. this isn't canon."

anyway some nice person has posted my favorite part of the movie on youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEdNTypmVJY

lol at that mountain lion gif

gah

http://io9.com/behold-the-horrifying-animatronic-baby-that-was-too-cre-1458463368?

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/195cvlbhmez1ejpg/original.jpg

oh my god that's amazing. the facial design is so hideously ill-conceived and yet they went ahead and built it.

I watched about 5 minutes of Twilight over the weekend.

a) Anna Kendrick was in this??? lololol
b) Edward's reaction when Bella walked in front of the fan in their chemistry class is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in a movie

at this point I reached my tolerance level and switched to tennis

aside from Up in the Air I've only seen Anna Kendrick in mumblecore films

Nine years sure is a long time ago. Anyway:

http://io9.gizmodo.com/robert-pattinson-was-almost-fired-from-twilight-for-act-1797333755

During an interview on Howard Stern’s Sirius XM show, Pattinson chatted about how he was almost fired from the first movie for how seriously he took the role. He refused to smile, laugh, or show any emotions other than “this very emo thing,” since that was the nature of the series in his eyes. He said it’s because he wanted the movie to reflect Edward Cullen’s sullen, monstrous personality, but also because teenagers are stupid, hormone-filled weirdos.

“If you’re going into a relationship with someone, the way to make it really intense is if like you can barely talk to each other, you can barely touch each other, it’s incredibly serious all the time, it’s kind of what teenage relationships are,” Pattinson said. “But everyone kind of wanted it to be, like, ‘No, they should just be, like, happy and having fun. That’s what people want.’”

It got so bad that Pattinson’s agent personally flew down to the set and told him: “‘You have to do the opposite of what you’re doing now or you’re going to get fired today.’” The producers then handed Pattinson a copy of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight that was highlighted at every passage where Edward smiled. Pattinson’s response? He sent the book back with added highlights (in a different color) of every one of Edward’s scowls.

okay lol

cred to RP and KS for making serious films (and proving their chops) in the wake of this drivel (that i will never see)

The inevitable Twilight 10 year anniversary and reappreciation piece

https://www.theringer.com/movies/2018/11/19/18098350/twilight-ten-year-anniversary

Holy shit. I just remembered I was in Twilight.

— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) November 26, 2018

weird flex but ok

TBF, that does seem like the kind of thing one might forget.

Nostalgia cycles hitting earlier these days

https://gizmodo.com/hot-topic-new-twilight-merch-vampires-werewolves-baseba-1850065576

It's back! (Maybe.)

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/twilight-tv-series-in-the-works-1235391710/

I managed to go a very long time without ever learning the name of Edward and Bella's baby, but today is the day God removed His hedge of protection.

Saw this movie for the first time. Never knew anything abt the phenomenon really. Felt I wasted my time.

However re the convo upthread about what a similar book for boys would be … I haven’t seen it but it seems equally dumb… what about something like Scott pilgrim? Male anxiety abt previous partners or whatevr

Nah, outside of any considerations of quality Scott Pilgrim is about 20somethings and mostly read by people older than that.

YA genre is very female coded I think, the teen boy equivalent of Twilight almost certainly was a video game or anime.

The inevitable Twilight distaff experience:

https://variety.com/2025/tv/news/taylor-lautner-werewolf-hunter-tv-series-amazon-mgm-studios-1236305182/