Spoiling

Do you do this? I mean, say if you're feeling bad, do you stop yourself from having fun?

Going through a week or two of this lately, where I am purposely not doing things because they could be entertaining. It seems like doing them might make me feel better but I don't want to do them, trying not to go out, not replying to text messages and emails, that kind of thing. Sometimes I try to avoid speaking to people because I feel I might have to try and feel better to do so. Hard to explain, I almost feel embarassed to be open or to be positive right now.

I've no doubt I'll come out of this, just interested to hear other peoples experiences.

This sounds familiar. I get stuck in ruts of feeling down/bored but finding things to look forward to at a safe distance, and then on the day I convince myself they're too much effort and I'm too tired, and end up sitting at home like a zombie regretting it.

But for various reasons (some of which I should have fixed ages ago, but I've kept putting that off, too...) doing stuff currently is more effort than it ought to be, so it gets hard to tell if my excuses are real. A lot of second-guessing and then finally just telling myself, fuck it, I've got to do something, or trying to force myself to buy tickets or fix meetups so I can't duck out. Almost trying to get myself on the bus before I've stopped to think about whether I want to or what needs planning.

Sorry if this isn't quite what you're getting at; yr post struck a chord, anyway.

It is because your subconscious is telling you to conserve energy and store fat for the winter.

Anxiety!! I pull this shit all the time--my gf does too which is bad for both of us cause the other can't act like the motivator

Luckily today I had to get up for a doctor's appointment, kinda steered me into doing stuff today.

This is a totally corny thing to say but reading certain authors always makes me want to go out and be more active. If I am spoiling and making excuses about staying in sometimes reading a chapter or two of certain books makes me excited to go out again weirdly. Or not weirdly.

Which books? Sounds good!

Are there any videogames which do this?

Everybody's Tennis makes me wanna work on my forehand, bigtime

Otherwise no.

Corny college kid shit--Thoreau, whitman, Emerson, Joyce, Nietzsche (embarrassing but true). That stuff works almost as well as atavan for me. Raymond carver always makes me want to stay in.

Garda is this why you didn't accept my GIFT to you last week??

No I just need turntables!