The girl next door......

2) I probably have more than one best friend if that is possible; I get on better with each of them than anyone else, in different ways

3) Yes, some of them are boys.

I think you CAN even be best friends with someone when relations between you haven't always been platonic.

I ask this also because I do have a best friend, lucky me, and I wonder if I could ever be that close to a girl without a non platonic relationship ensuing.

As a deeper question I guess I should have added, do you think there are essential differences between men and women, if so, what are they, and can we eat them?

Yes you do. You bloody introduced me to him. Quick! Call Nick Ross.

E.g. me & long time boyf (mutually) break up. Woman friends are sympathetic & wait to see how I react before leaping in. Men friends shout 'hurrah! At last! He was a complete tosser!' which is not helpful at all as I was actually very upset about it.

I would never do this. I think I'm quite good at being a girl in these situations. Anyway, my dad taught me never to go down the 'hurrah he was a complete tosser' line cause half the time people get back together with said tosser and it's all a bit embarrassing.

The 'what a tosser' approach is acceptable in certain circumstances btw.

Me: And then he said that and it was awful and I knew that was it and it was all over.

Lucas [male]: Oh Fledgling, [hug]. Don't worry, I know it hurts now, but it will get better ... etc etc

Kate [female]: God, he's a wanker. The fucking tosser, they're all bastards, have more wine.

This is a hypothetical situation, but I know who to go to for sympathy and who to go to for indignation and booze.

Absolutely. Of my two best friends, one is male, one female. Simple. :-)

Equally I think it is very unlikely I would come to you in an emotional crisis for kind of similar reasons. We are good friends but our relationship is based much more on the drinking, being funny and mutually irritating each other. I can't irritate properly if I also have to be understanding.

Aye. It was me. *sigh* I'm never doing it again, mind.

But then outside that I have had very close female friends that I've turned to when I've needed support. It's been a mutual thing too, at least I think I've been helpful to them, you never really know I suppose.

(Answer to question: duh, YES)

Were you both butt-naked bangin' on the bedroom floor?

Funny thing is that usually my best friends and I have both been single for most or all of out best-friendship and have, in a funny way, been both faithful and committed to each other. Why it's different to a "relationship" I don't know - maybe because you don't try to change the other person and because you don't try to plan your whole future together in some suffocating way?

Anyway, I don't have a best friend at the moment (she moved to London) and it makes me sad. And lonely.

I think if you're straight you can be best friends with someone of the opposite sex that you fancy but if those feelings are not reciprocated then it will probably end in tears.

So as long as there is limited sexual tension boys and girls can make great best friends. There's something lovely and warm about being able to be close and loving with a boy without it being about sex.

As for having best friends of the opposite sex who are single... I also say yes. I've lost touch with my best friend from uni (although I'm desperately trying to find him) We were inseperable, even sharing the same bed on many occasions. Everyone was convinced we were going out, or would at least end up together, but we never felt that way, and nothing ever happened. People tried to persuade us to get together as a couple, but we both knew that if we gave in to the pressure and tried a "relationship" we could easily lose the friendship we had, and that was more important to us than a quick shag.

I always take people as I find them (or try to) I try to ignore other people's opinions and use my own judgement. So far it's been okay.

The fact that my circle of friends includes about 8 or 9 blokes, and 2 girls (including myself) I haven't quite figured out the reason for yet, except that maybe the blokes can't cope with the bitchiness which always appears when you get more than 3 or more women in a room :)