Inappropriate work conversations

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Just got back from a late lunch with some coworkers. We got takeout sushi, as we always do on Fridays, and ate in the kitchen of our office. This week was made special when a female coworker put her trash into the takeout bag and handed it to a male coworker with the question, "Can you take care of my stinky tuna bag?" Bedlam ensued.

This is easily the best lunch conversation we've ever had. Anyone else have an extraordinarily funny inadvertently filthy lunch conversation at work? What was your favorite?

― Dan Perry, Friday, 3 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Unfortunately I'm very anti-social with the folks here at work...but I do have some pretty funny, filthy conversations with myself.

― Chris, Friday, 3 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Having worked in the 95% male dominated software entertainment industry for several years, there were many extraordinarily filthy lunch conversations that I'd much rather forget altogether...

― Brian MacDonald, Friday, 3 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Brian = filthmonger. He would usually say something about 'that hot tomato' he saw in between meaty laughs, double McRib sandwiches and talking loudly about 'that ANDERSON contract I signed, goddamn!'

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 3 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

We all tried very hard not to make the obvious comments, but someone said, "See, this is how rumors get started," and then it was all over from there. My favorite part was when someone suggested the poor woman (who was in hysterical laughter) drink some cranberry juice to clear that up. (The someone was not me, BTW; I was too busy trying not to spray Coke across the table.)

― Dan Perry, Friday, 3 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Think about the stories I've told youa bout my workplace, Dan. I was just made to stand spread eagle so that an auditor could whack golf balls between my legs. Then I had to stand sideways so they could try to go thru the heels of my shoes. That's probably the tamest thing that happens during the week. It's like I work at a bordello.

― Ally, Friday, 3 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ooh Ally, I was hoping you'd have more work stories (although nothing beats the dude who broke the shower door).

It's mildly creepy that people where you work saw fit to create a human mini-golf course in the office...

― Dan Perry, Friday, 3 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That's what the women here are for. Me and my mom laughed about it one day. We were talking about how none of us "girls" as they like to call us have any sort of college degrees - but ALL of the guys do. So my mom pointed out that they were looking for TA, not BA, from the laydeez....

Nothing in the world beats the smashing of the shower door. NOTHING. Drunken rampages are the best. He still swears he didn't do it. It's like, what, did the shower door fairy come and smash it? No, it wasn't the raging alcoholic who was rooming in that suite, it was someone else...I mean, what does it even imply that he refuses to admit, two years later, that this happened? That whole party was very rock, what with the one guy slapping a girl in the face and my boss wandering around drunkenly asking the women to marry them "if they're single and older, because you know, the money thing" and then the shower door.

― Ally, Friday, 3 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

a few weeks ago a co-worker of mine asked me out and it put the shits up me.

― di, Friday, 3 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

oh and earlier in the year i was talking to my boss about the christmas do and he said about how he thought the vegetables were overcooked but oh never mind its not like the mechanics would notice they're so classless. that made me really despise my boss.

― di, Friday, 3 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

why are all thedental hygenists short thin and twitery?

― mike hanle y, Saturday, 4 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Di, did you find out what the mechanics thought of the vegetables?

― N., Saturday, 4 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My friends and I have finally figured out how to get the most reluctant person at our lunch table to talk about sex: put it in terms of computers. THEN he gets it.

― Maria, Saturday, 4 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah (re mechanics and vegetables), they all had different answers.

― di, Saturday, 4 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

seven years pass...

overheard person in next cubicle loudly saying on telephone "Jim is the barber of the world!" and i kneejerk said aloud "Woman is the nigger of the world!"
There has been a silence in the office since then.

― Feugh! (since somebody always asks: rhymes with "Peugh!") (forksclovetofu), Friday, 29 May 2009 20:30 (sixteen years ago)

you're fired

― Mr. Que, Friday, 29 May 2009 20:32 (sixteen years ago)

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

― Obama seems to have the views of a 21-year-old Hispanic girl (HI DERE), Friday, 29 May 2009 20:36 (sixteen years ago)

Today i overheard person in next cubicle loudly saying on telephone "Jim is the barber of the world!" and i kneejerk said aloud "Woman is the nigger of the world!"
There has been a silence in the office since then. FML

fixed

― the sideburns are album-specific (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 29 May 2009 20:37 (sixteen years ago)

forks dude... I don't even know where to begin, hahahahahaha

― Obama seems to have the views of a 21-year-old Hispanic girl (HI DERE), Friday, 29 May 2009 20:39 (sixteen years ago)

luckily, this is the sort of office you can get away with that in.

― Feugh! (since somebody always asks: rhymes with "Peugh!") (forksclovetofu), Friday, 29 May 2009 20:40 (sixteen years ago)

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