Has anyone been to the Lapland Theme Park?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/dorset/7758112.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/html/1.stm

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45256000/jpg/_45256352_45256105.jpg

This looks like my backyard growing up in Firth, Idaho!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/img/4.jpg

The "bustling" Christmas market consisted of about four stalls, one woman told the BBC, and she had to pay further money to gain entry to it.

The park's website shows pictures of snowy scenes and icicles - a far cry from the reality, many visitors say.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/img/8.jpg

The Lapland New Forest website says: "We can assure you of an absolutely magical scene... just look how real and cold the 'snow' appears to be."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/img/9.jpg

Elves did not meet visitors at their cars as promised, and "there was no Seamus the elf to take us to santa", another woman complained.

LOL

lololololololololololol

Pissweak World

Wobbies World (real)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/img/7.jpg

Ur Gonna Get -- oh nevermind.

Wont be long until longcat appears in that pic

Are there any people here here who remember Snooty the manatee at the Florida Museum in Sarasota? I tried to find pics of the old "aquarium" but evidently they've remodeled it and it doesn't look like a dump anymore (hence no funny links). But this was on a par of shittiness with the reindeer setup at the "park" listed here.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/img/9.jpg
^^^saddest picture on the internet

I knew someone would say that.

According to the Dily Mail,

"But as furious customers continue to trudge around the 'attractions' of the controversial £25 a head theme park, it has emerged that several fights have broken out between angry visitors and costumed elves.

In addition, the park's resident Santa Claus has been spotted smoking and was been punched in the face by an irate father who queued with his family for four hours, only to be told he had to pay an extra £10 to have his child's picture taken."

There are accordimg to teh BBC already a number of facebook groups devoted to this issue, but that number is mushrooming...
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=37562743671

It's "Bad Santa: The Theme Park"!

Kudos to the Finns mobilising in the comments box of the Mail story going "lol were you expecting this to be good you retards"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7760771.stm

A Christmas tree has been branded an "insult" to a County Durham town.

The tree was to form the centrepiece of festive celebrations at Peterlee's Castle Dene Shopping Centre, but turned out to be smaller than expected.

It was put up and decorated with coloured lights, but was described by one shopper as "the worst Christmas tree in the country".

A local councillor said it looked more like a twig than a tree and she had been inundated by complaints.

The lights were switched on by pop star Natasha Hamilton, from girl band Atomic Kitten, who performed a string of hits in front of the tree.

'Awful thing'

Councillor Joan Maslin said she had received many complaints from residents about the state of the tree.

"I would describe this tree as just like a twig. To be honest, it looks like something that people would throw in a skip after Christmas.

"If the shopping centre couldn't have afforded to put up a better Christmas tree they shouldn't have bothered.

"It is an insult to Peterlee."

Mike Weston, shopping centre manager, said he was as disappointed as anybody with the state of the tree.

"We ordered a standard Christmas tree from a supplier, and when this awful thing arrived it was too late to send it back before the switch-on with Natasha Hamilton," he said.

"There was nothing we could do about it, so we were stuck with it."

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45260000/jpg/_45260453_-5.jpg

lololol

http://hahamusic.files.wordpress.com/2006/12/charlie-brown-tree-m.jpg

quite.

My local pound shop(s) are more Christmas-y!

of course they are, they sell a ton of Xmas decorations!

Doesn't make it Finland, thought, does it?

lol i love bad attractions and people being called professional troublemakers.

Is that Elton John about eight seconds into the clip of the tree?

"What is not here that we haven't advertised?" he added.

uh waht?

Isn't the issue what isn't there that they did advertise?

I take it is this year's 'war on christmas'.

haha Craggy Island christmas theme park, particular 'the tunnel of light'

Elves did not meet visitors at their cars as promised

i thought that said Elvis for a moment there

They could buy Knut!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7762350.stm

Anyways, after all this news story, will ticket sales go up? Or crash to nowt?

I take it is this year's 'war on christmas'.

lol yeah was just saying this to someone. For now I endorse this bandwagon, personally

i like to imagine the theme park's organisers actually thought they'd done a good job

Britain going steadily down the dumper to Third World banana republic status: part 94...

I think it's more a case of "British people no longer prepared to put up with crap". See also, Noel Edmond's Crinkley Bottom theme park...

Twenty years ago...

Santa (smoking): "Ten quid for yer kid to have his photo taken with Santa."
Parent (mumbling): "er, that, er, seems a little, er, expensive..."
Santa: "What?"
Parent: "OK, er, here!" (hands over money)

Today...

Santa (smoking): "Ten quid for yer kid to have his photo taken with Santa."
Parent: "Fuck off!" (punches Santa in the face)

It is truly the dawn of a new age...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/img/1.jpg

aaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha

but it looks so christmassy and realistic in the night time

They should have put it just a little farther away

I think it's more a case of "British people no longer prepared to put up with crap". See also, Noel Edmond's Crinkley Bottom theme park...

In both cases they should have known anyway that it was crap. You want actual Lapland Lapland, save up and go there.

But if this is the sort of thing which is expected to put food on the table in two years' time then maybe we should reopen the coal mines.

You've been to Beamish, right?

will ticket sales go up? Or crash to nowt?

The website was offline for a while so I thought they might have gone bust but it might have been a bandwidth thing what with all the publicity - or a hasty "get all the stuff off the site we don't actually have!" redesign. Web design by the dude who made this snappy site showcasing his skills: http://stevencragg.com/

Night time nativity scene:
http://laplandnewforest.co.uk/img/nativity.jpg

The Mail seems to have removed that reference to Santa smoking. Imagine being sued by Santa.

or a hasty "get all the stuff off the site we don't actually have!" redesign

I'm guessing this.

Technical Notice: We have been having severe technical problems with our server computer since Monday 1st December ... not the website itself, but the machine we lease to host the website. All effort is being made to identify and correct this issue, including the temporary possibility to redirect this page to another domain so that you can continue to view our event photographs. This machine fault has suspended all online ticket booking and we thank you for your understanding.

was going to post that.

also:

Lapland New Forest

... It's You that Makes It Beautiful ...

Faulty machine randomly spewing out Comic Sans.

translation: "hosting company pulled our site when they realised we were fraudulent bastards"

But:

Dec 4th LIVE TV DAY
December 5th
Dec 6th SOLD OUT
Dec 7th SOLD OUT
December 8th
December 9th
December 10th
December 11th
December 12th
Dec 13th SOLD OUT
Dec 14th SOLD OUT
December 15th
December 16th
December 17th
December 18th
December 19th
Dec 20th SOLD OUT
Dec 21st SOLD OUT
Dec 22nd SOLD OUT
Dec 23rd SOLD OUT
Dec 24th SOLD OUT

ilx group day out dec 15?

"LIVE TV DAY" = TV news crews roaming the site looking for a story. Or failing that, a TV in a log cabin. Which you have to pay £10 to get into on top of the £25 you already paid to get onto the site.

xp I can't stop laughing at this. you all should go, make it beautiful...

Their reindeer repatriation policy is a disgrace.

Pull quote from article link at top right of page:

"We must embrace our lack of knowledge" Daniel Finkelstein

Why change the habit of a lifetime Danny, huh?

I never realised these things existed - there's another one in Kent which looks a slightly more sophisticated operation.
http://www.laplanduk.co.uk/

Please be assured Lapland UK has NO association with Lapland New Forest

sux to be u guyz

Why? I've never spent £25 going to look at a load of crap...

(pause)

...unless you count the time I took the family to Tate Modern!

I thang yew. I'm here all week. Tell your friends...

Admission to TM is free. I'm not going to contest the "load of crap" comment however...

Not for major exhibitions it isn't.

Or minor ones probably.

Special events and major stuff you have to pay to get in. But otherwise it's free admission. I suppose if they had a Smoking Santa there, you'd have to pay extra. Probably call it performance art or something. A chainsmoking Santa Claus...

^ would have to be outdoors tho

yah i never paid when i went to the TM not too long ago, and saw quite a bit.

the Santa at the Kent Lapland sounds awesome

Not to labour a point but for instance the Bacon exhibition is £12.20 for adults and £10.30 concessions.

New Forest closed now

Trading Standards are investigating the claims that it is the "New" Forest after receiving a tip off from a member of the public that the forest has actually been there for centuries...

Meet the New Forest, same as the Old Forest

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/dorset/7765080.stm

A Lapland-style theme park criticised by visitors as "hell" and a "scam" has closed down, it is understood.

Lapland New Forest opened on Friday on the Hampshire-Dorset border but was criticised by hundreds of visitors.

It is not clear who is behind the closure as trading standards had said it did not have the power to shut it.

Dorset Police said officers at the scene were told the site had been closed permanently and that contractors were packing up and leaving.

A big sign outside the park says "Lapland New Forest closed - for more information contact the website".

There has been no official word so far from the people running the park.

One of the organisers, Henry Mears, told the BBC on Monday that he blamed "professional troublemakers" for bad reports about the site. He has since been unavailable for comment.

More than 2,000 people who paid £25-£30 for tickets to the park near Ringwood have officially complained about it.

Hundreds of people have been calling for the closure of the attraction and demanding refunds, complaining it does not resemble marketing images on its website.

The website became unavailable on Monday afternoon, but was later republished with different pictures.

Trading standards said on Thursday its investigations were ongoing, but it was too soon to say if it was "appropriate" to take legal action.

The BBC has tried to track down the organisers of the park since speaking to Henry Mears on Monday, but without success.

But a friend of Victor Mears, the registered director of the attraction, said the director was "genuinely concerned and upset" about events.

'Floods of tears'

David Bishop told the BBC: "They're going to lose a hell of a lot of money and possibly one of them's going to lose a house over this.

"They haven't tried to cheat, they haven't run, they haven't taken no money out of the bank.

"He was in floods of tears the other day when I was talking to him because he felt that he had done something wrong to kids."

On Wednesday, a former security guard at the site, Adrian Wood, told the BBC that people had been "ripped off" and he had been "ashamed to work there".

He resigned after seeing a family take their mother out of a cancer hospice for what could be her last Christmas, he said.

He also said staff were subjected to violent outbursts by irate customers, including Santa being attacked and one of the elves being "smacked in the face and pushed into a pram".

He too had been punched in the forehead, he said.

The theme park's website had shown pictures of snowy "winter wonderland" scenes and icicles.

It also promised real log cabins, a nativity scene, husky dogs and other animals, as well as a "bustling" Christmas market.

Hundreds of people have complained to the BBC since the park opened, saying the animals looked unhappy and huskies looked thin and were chained up in a pen.

Other facilities, including a broken ice rink, were poor, they said, describing the site as a "scam", a "joke", "disorganised chaos" and "hell".

Tickets cost £30 for individuals, £25 for each person for families of four or more, and £10 for children under two years old.

Some complained they then had to pay more to use some of the facilities once inside the park.

East Dorset District Council also revealed it had to stop the sale of alcohol on site because an application for a licence had been granted but was not yet in force.

Unsatisfied customers have been advised by Consumer Direct to consider taking the matter to county court if writing a letter is unsuccessful.

Important Notice: We have every intent on contacting our all of our customers directly, but we must wait until we have as much evidence as is possible to accurately inform you of what really did/did not happen at our sincere, honest and otherwise hugely successful children's event enterprise. Please be patient for this communication and remain open-minded individuals.

"They haven't tried to cheat, they haven't run, they haven't taken no money out of the bank."

Haven't taken no money? That means they had taken some...

Nothing sadder than a jobless elf at Christmas.

WONT SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE POLAR BEAR! http://www.frequencycomputers.co.uk/file/other18.gif

(xpost) I'm sure that they can get a job with the BBC Gnome Service...

...and to save myself the effort of posting more "gnome" puns I present...
Laughing Gnome mashup by the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

from upthread

i like to imagine the theme park's organisers actually thought they'd done a good job

see, i hope the opposite, otherwise this is a very sad story.

Knowing that the organisers were half-a-job-arseholes makes me happy in thinking they got what they deserve.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/3945011._Winter_Blunderland__prompts_2_000_complaints/

Seems the organisers are really the lowest of the low...dodgy fireworks!

Victor Mears runs a firework shop on Lewes Road in Moulsecoomb. I went there to buy some fireworks (funnily enough) and Victor offered me a large box of fireworks for £30. I was quite interested, until he turned the box round and I saw, in large black letters, the words ‘damaged fireworks’ scrawled across the side.

Surely Brown could get some mileage out of this?

Whitehawk Wendy, Hove says...
4:30pm Wed 3 Dec 08

GinaC wrote:
Does not look good on Mary Mears, leader of Brighton and Hove City Council when her husband is involved in this scam.

Not involved, he's running it.

A quick search reveals that might be a slight exaggeration, Vic Mears is Mary Mears great uncle. Or something.

Official Announcement: 4th December 2008

With my deepest regret and sincerest apology I am left with no option but to announce that I am forced to close the children's entertainment theme park "Lapland New Forest" for 2008 due ( I believe at the time of publishing ) to:

* Intentional organised crowd manipulation and event sabotage during and since our first trading weekend.

* The unscrupulous and inaccurate negative bias media broadcasts of both local and national press and television companies that contributed significantly to fuelling widespread public concern, frenzy and distraction since the 1st December 2008.

* What I believe to be a wholly illegal action by the credit merchant company called "Streamline" of seizing/withdrawing all funds without notice from the Lapland New Forest Ltd bank account leaving us completely unable to trade.

For all people wishing to claim financial reimbursement I can only advise ( at the time of writing ) that you return to our website for further information on this important matter.

Both I and all of the Lapland New Forest Team have had every intention of both continuing and continuing to enhance our children's event ... we have all put many months of hard planning, endeavour and finance into the Christmas theme park ... our wonderful venture and advertising campaign proved to be highly popular and many of our visitors did have a great day with us!

We are all deeply upset at the outrageous lies, slander, accusations, violent threats and lack of official support we have endured and I have every intention of pursuing all matters to the full extent of the law.

From myself and every member of the Lapland New Forest Team to ALL of our valued customers and incredible team players that contributed so much to our honourable enterprise - we look forward to reaching a clear and satisfactory conclusion as soon as is possible.

Victor Mears
Director of Lapland New Forest Ltd.

Months of planning? Surely you need a bit more planning than that to open a bloody theme park!

More on owner, Victor Mears:

THE owner of the controversial Lapland New Forest is as a convicted fraudster who served time in jail for tax evasion.

Victor Mears, 65, who owns the park run by his brother Henry Mears, was sentenced to three years in jail in 1986 after admitting failing to pay £500,000 in VAT.

At the time he was serving a four-year sentence for tax evasion.

Victor Mears is well-known in Brighton as one of the city's most colourful characters.

He is part of the large Mears family, heavily involved in the city's markets and a clan which includes Brighton and Hove City Council leader, Mary Mears.

Mr Mears, born in 1943, ran a fruit and veg stall in Western Road after making money dealing gold bullion and antiques - a career which earned him the nickname Mr Gold.

When the authorities caught up with him he claimed he had put £1million aside for tax but that it was stolen in a burglary.

Yesterday it was claimed that Mears began organising the theme park earlier this year with his brother Henry, who runs a fruit and veg stall.

A source close to the brothers, based in Brighton, said that with ticket prices of £30 and up to 50,000 advance bookings online, they expected to make £2million over the festive period.

'They kept saying, "We'll just stick a few things in the field, make it look nice from the outside and then make a load of money".'

The source said of the pair: 'They are a bit like Del Boy but without the nice side.

Yesterday, reporters called for the second day in a row at a flat in Selsfield Drive listed by Companies House as Victor Mears' home but no one would answer the door.

Then journalists called at Unit 1, Wildpark House, Home Farm Road, where Companies House lists Lapland New Forest Ltd as being run from.

But staff there said they had no idea where Mr Mears was. One man said Mr Mears had been ill recently and just come out of hospital.

Henry Mears, believed to be Victor's brother, has been the public face of Lapland New Forest, dealing with advertising and contact from the media.

Lapland New Forest has received more than 2,000 complaints since it opened on the weekend. Frederick Nash, a director of Matchams South Coast Ltd, which leases the land in the New Forest from freeholder Eaglebeam, said he was surprised by the park but that there was nothing his company could do. He said: "We have taken legal advice but we can't do anything because they have rented the land until January 15."

He added: "There is not a snowball's chance in hell that these people will be allowed to come back here next year."

Cllr Mary Mears was unavailable for comment but a council statement said: "There is no business connection between Cllr Mears and these distant relatives and Cllr Mears has no involvement in the New Forest operation."

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/3948665.Mr_Gold_is_man_behind_controversial_Lapland_New_Forest/

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP READING THE DAILY MAIL.

agh misread the link, sorry :(

And again, Autumn Almanac's right-on leftie attitude comes back to bite him in the arse!

PARANOIA MAN IN CHEAP SHIT FAKE LAPLAND

He is not appreciated
he is a paranoia man
He feels misunderstood
he is in a cheap shit fake laplanda.

And he brought the kids along
and they went on the tv
and they said that the huskies were wrong
and had their say on BBC
it was a shit lapland
and they went off santa and snow
and they said that people lied
and they saw the man and knew
it was a paranoia man in a shit fake laplanda

And the babies lost a tenner
and the adults lost face
and the children started skrikin
and the paranoia man ran away
but he now is less than frightened
because he has fireworks
and he's not afraid to use them
although he really should be

He's a paranoia man
in a cheap
shit
fake
lapland.

One way for Britain to get back on its feet again: round up all "colourful characters," take them out the back of the barn and shoot them.

And tighten and regulate company law so that convicted fraudsters are prohibited from running anuy profit-making enterprises.

so not gonna happen 4
http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/img/5.jpg

PARANOIA MAN IN CHEAP SHIT FAKE LAPLAND

He is not appreciated
he is a paranoia man
He feels misunderstood
he is in a cheap shit fake laplanda.

And he brought the kids along
and they went on the tv
and they said that the huskies were wrong
and had their say on BBC
it was a shit lapland
and they went off santa and snow
and they said that people lied
and they saw the man and knew
it was a paranoia man in a shit fake laplanda

And the babies lost a tenner
and the adults lost face
and the children started skrikin
and the paranoia man ran away
but he now is less than frightened
because he has fireworks
and he's not afraid to use them
although he really should be

He's a paranoia man
in a cheap
shit
fake
lapland.

― Mark G, Friday, 5 December 2008 09:30 (2 hours ago) Permalink

HAhahahaha!

That is just beyond brilliant Mark...really needs posting of The Fall Forum.

Has that elf got a gun?!

I mean "in" laughing too hard...

Sven, be my guest!

Lapland West Midlands fails to open.

I don't know why, but I think that the phrase "Lapland West Midlands" is just hilarious.

Seriously though, it's getting to the point where the word "Lapland" is synonymous with "rip off shite"...

person A: "So how's that second hand car you bought?"
person B: "Disaster, I got Laplanded..."

And don't get me started about Lapland Dancing Clubs...

You can look at the reindeer, but if you do any more than that, the elves throw you out into the street. Meanwhile, in the VIP room, there's blatant drug use. People are candy caning it.

Seriously though, it's getting to the point where the word "Lapland" is synonymous with "rip off shite"...

Yes,I've noticed the news items are now adding "Lapland (WM or NF) is not connected to Lapland UK" to their reports. Although looking at the Lapland UK website it seems to be mostly sold out.

26 October 2011

Two brothers jailed for misleading customers at a Lapland-themed park have had their convictions quashed after it emerged a juror had been texting during the trial.

Victor Mears, 67, and Henry Mears, 60, both of Brighton, ran the Lapland New Forest attraction in 2008.

Three Court of Appeal judges ruled their convictions under Trading Standards legislation were unsafe.

'Creepy' drive-through grotto 'an absolute fiasco'

meanwhile not in norfolk:

A furious mum posted today about how a ticketed 'Santa's Winter Village' event in Noarlunga, South Australia is a scam, warning other parents away.

She's right. Check her photos. It looks like the Fyre Festival of kid's Santa events. pic.twitter.com/6F4tHrZLsj

— Tom Tanuki (@tom_tanuki) December 16, 2020

I saw signs for Lapland UK, somewhere around bracknell. I was driving back from Brighton three days ago nostalgia