I Asked A Boy Out!

Um, more... please.

ase

I prefer each buying their own damn dinner. If you have the money to pay for both when you ask it's very nice though. I do not like the boys always trying to pay for everything because it's got elements of sexism and control.

Well, I can try. ;-) I'm in great sympathy with Brian's position -- assuming there's a mutual amount of shyness going on when one is attracted to another in a heterosexual situation (the case more often than not, I'm guessing), the fact that there's a societal expectation for the man to ask the woman instead of encouraging a two-way street makes for a mess. You shouldn't be hanging around waiting for someone to ask you out if you're a straight male (as I've discovered to my chagrin), but at the same time, yes, let me make it clear -- females out there, please just ask a guy out if you want to! It is much appreciated!

The sexism/control issue is an interesting one. Two of the last three times I was out on a date, I was the one who did the asking and I picked up the check because I wanted to, but I didn't expect anything at all in return (just even typing that creeps me out). The person in one of those dates is the one I was going to go out with on Friday (we couldn't because a mutual friend she lives with just got a crappy work demotion slammed on her, and there was a mess going down with her family as a result, so my date had to cancel to give her moral support, which I agreed with entirely). She was the one who asked me out again specifically, and when she had to cancel she made it very clear rescheduling this for sometime soon was going to happen -- which I had not a problem with at all. :-) I have no idea whether she wants to pay for both of us next time or not, so we'll just see, but I don't mind either way!

The third time was the Thursday dinner just past, and in that case the two of us first got to talking about restaurants and then we agreed that dinner together would be nice. Nobody really asked each other out per se, it just happened as something to do, and we each paid our own check. So maybe things just have to happen. :-)

There, my deep thoughts on the matter, such as they are. Hope it all goes well for you, Lindsey -- your dad is being bleah, just shrug it off.

i have only been 'pursued' once or twice in my life, once was kind of dud because i was not v attracted to her, but the other was GRATE

well i quite enjoy making fun of all the trendy kids who come out nowadays wearing liberty spikes and bondage pants. My inquiry to them is: "IF YOU'RE SOOOO PUNK ROCK WHY DO YOU SHOP AT HOT TOPIC?!?!?" I mean it's in the goddamn mall for fuck's sake.

Oh wait, sorry Lindsey, you were talking about asking boys out. I was just distracted by the COCKFARMING HOT TOPIC!!!! Uh, so yeah, asking boys out is hella cool. I'm totally pro that. That being said everytime I've pursued a boy it's ended up in disaster. Intrepret that as you may.

Even when I last dated chicks there was that butch/femme bullshit that, to me, was more oppressive than het dating. I dunno, maybe it's different in NZ and Oz. But in North America dating and sex still have a foot firmly planted in the past.

I am going to use Mike's technique from now on, but is the buttock thing really necessary or just a bit flashy?

At least once in a while, anyway. PLEASE?

I think I ought to be gay.

I'm free on Saturday night if you fancy it... Dinner maybe? ;oþ

I'm with toraneko on the taking turns thing, that's cool, and if i like the date then when the check comes i can say "i've got it... you can buy me dinner some other time though" *WINK*. Brilliant, i know.

Halfsies is wack if it's a romanticky Date-date. If you're gonna do that then you should sit separately too, ha.

what sort of area do you live in? bowling would be a good idea, or maybe a show (i don't know how old you are but maybe there is an allages place?) or coffee?

i have asked boys out quite a few times, with varying results. HOWEVER friends of mine have also called me 'asking out' boys when i've only really asked them to hang out. it's totally different! don't you agree?

As for paying, unless one is way richer than the other you more or less split it, without fussing over accurate divisions. Unless someone is deliberately stingey, this isn't much of an issue.

Damn Emma, the man buys you the world's largest pint and you LET HIM GO??? Your bling-bling card has been revoked!

This joke courtesy of Rentaghost 1981

For a start, couldn't that be even more intimidating for some? Secondly, you'll only get to see each other's public face, rather than anything more personal. Thirdly, you won't know if you have anything in common at that stage, so it'll be harder to rescue each other if necessary, introduce him/her to others, etc. And fourthly, it'll be that much harder to tell whether the other person is as keen on you as you are on them. To me it makes little sense. But then I'm usually better one-to-one than I am in a group, unless it's a group I feel at home with and can assert myself onto.

Wonderful, Brian! No better lad for it to happen to....

Have a good time, though, Minna!

if they say no they are being k-lame

BUT THE EXCEPTION PROVES THE RULE!!!