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I hate sex.

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Am I the only person here who absolutely hates sex? Why do you people talk about it so much? You guys talk about jerking off more than I talk about my own ass, so I'm feeling like a total freak. Talk here about your sexual hang ups. I don't want to feel like a freak.

― Ally, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, you don't.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Perhpas you are too sick to feel desire for sex. that happens you know.

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Note to Self: don't bother to hit on Ally. Even if she's drunk.

― Sterling Clover, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sterling you tart!

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ideally, sex = CLASSIC. However, the ACTUAL act is a bit duderific, unless you're with a person that feels the same way. It's a bit absurd, really, and this culture is so damn obsessed with it. (Or am I the one obsessed, just picking out what I want to notice?)

And guys NEVER talk about jerking off. They just do it constantly.

(Shit. MORE sex talk. I'm becoming a priest.)

― David Raposa, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is that yer way of hitting on Ally, Dave?

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sex is the most perfect thing our bodies can do peroid.

― anthony, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sex is the most perfect thing our bodies can do peroid.

― anthony, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Not really. If I were hitting on her, I'd be saying absolutely nothing while staring dumbfounded into the lipid pools that are her deep, sensuous eyes. Then I'd run away scared, because I can't pick up a check, let alone a woman.

Though I'm sure she's quite impressed by my obvious charm. *cough*

― David Raposa, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm not one of those people who talks about, but I by no means hate it. I just think a lot of the talk can be dull, and since I usually post from work it's best to give it a miss anyway. It's probably like my theory about songwriters who sing about sex all the time.

― Nicole, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm pretty sure diminshed sex drive is more of a female thing, and considering this board is very guy slanted . . . well it certainly doesn't mean you're a freak. My nerves give me all sorts of hang-ups. I flinch, shake, become a general mess. But once I get comfortable wth someone, its pretty nice.

― bnw, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

sex is as exciting as having your teeth cleaned

― Mike Hanley, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've had what I would describe as good sex maybe once, maybe twice, but it's never felt *great*. To be honest, if I didn't have a constantly nagging sex drive that keeps trying to convince me that I just haven't found the right person/animal/object and shouldn't give up, I probably would.

― Dave M., Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

All you posters are examples of what happens to people who took Morrissey and his celibacy schtick too seriously ;-P

(to be honest, i generally don't like locker-room talk and i never have. i might engage in it for shits and giggles or to get a cheap laugh around folks i'm comfortable being around, but i generally don't care for it (esp. among strangers). considering some of my musical/entertainment likes and dislikes (uncle frank and howard stern), some find that very contradictory but still it holds. i've also never found potty-mouthed women to be very attractive [ya hear me, courtney love?] -- i might be sexist, but i find it very unsexy and a major turn-off.)

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ally surely you're joking?

Dave: very harsh to call Ally's eyes "lipid pools"

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"YO, fateyes, wanna get a drink or somethin?" :)

― Josh, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ally you are so full of shit. Plus, you are a freak.

― duane, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ah, to hell with me for posting when I'm overtired.

LIMPID. LIMPID pools. Thank you.

― David Raposa, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I hate sex too. And the only person I could probably enjoy having sex with would be someone else who hated sex. But that will never happen so who cares.

― maryann, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Actually having sex = dud, it's getting to tell everybody you got some pussy that's cool.

― dave q, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Rooting is choice. It makes you feel fucken choice, eh."

― duane, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(oops gotta attribute yr sources. so: my friend roddy said that. i agree w/ him.)

― duane, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

sex id ud, watching/thinking other ppl having sex = classic

― Geoff, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Besides, how bad can sex be? With me, it's only about 30 seconds out of your life.

― dave q, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ally hates sex because she hasn't had me.

― berbis, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I love sex because i havent had Ally
Although if the plaid fairy made me het, i would sleep with Ally first.

― anthony, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think sex is fun and interesting too.

I like the way loads of replies are getting posted to multiple threads - is this intentional or have we overloaded greenspun.com?

― Tom, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why is everyone telling me I'm full of shit? Have I slept with any of you?! NO I HAVEN'T. Everyone thinks me and my boyfriend are having sex, I mean Tim's all "You're kicking us out to Queens so you can have sex, you dirty girl!" and was laughing hysterically and I'm all, no, I just don't feel like hanging out with you people anymore. I'm not joking, I have had sex with loads of people but just cos I gain control that way, that's all.

And what's wrong with my eyes? And Sterling wasn't going to have sex with me anyhow, because he despises me. Oh, Anthony, I'm flattered btw.

― Ally, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In the TV adaptation of The Life and Times Of All y, Jenifer Lopez is looking into the eyes of Alec Guiness sayng "You can;t have me, I hate sex"

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Who is Alec Guiness supposed to be?

― Ally, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Obi-wan kenobi? How old ARE you Mike?

― Kris, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am 64

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That explains quite a bit.

― Ally, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, like my wisdom

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And your crochety-ness.

― Ally, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"ouch"

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You are a beeotch.

― Ally, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have some theories on women not liking a great deal of sex talk. It seems most of them have lesser sexual desire, so they don't get into it, and they don't like it cuz they think guys won't take them seriously as thinking, complex humans, or guys will place too much emphasis on it. I think most men probably don't put too much emphasis on it as something that *matters a lot* but see its a something fun, and fun to discuss. Then again, some guys might be excessively charged up...

Idle sex talk is probably something that'd seem really tiresome to folks without much sex drive...and there's waaaaay too much idle sex talk on the 'net, of course....or perhaps y'all didn't notice??

― Chris, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Chris, I have the exact opposite experience. Let us imagine the morning after...

* "So what happened? Tell me all about it..."
"Well first... and then... ooh and then..."

* "So how'd it go?"
"Great. Real good."

You tell me which is which.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Women sure seem to like to oogle ass less.

― Mike Hanley, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mike does nothing but ogle my ass, that's for sure.

― Ally, Tuesday, 31 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

actually, some women LOVE to talk about sex. some women choose not to talk about it though and this can be for several reasons such as they don't find talking about sex very interesting, or they feel they will be judged as unfeminine if they do.

i talk about sex with my friends. i will talk about sex with people i don't know but only if i am in bed with them already.

― lady die, Tuesday, 31 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Was I too subtle? A first! I meant that at least among the people I know, women are MUCH more explicit about sex than the men are. An A- level cliche almost.

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 31 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Maybe it depends who you hang around; I've been around women who get bored pretty fast talking about sex...and I don't blame them too much, cuz it seems that with the women who do choose to talk about it publicly (Madonna, Anka Radokovich, whoever) then it becomes this *thing* they always *have* to talk about. Maybe that's a simplified women-as-victims idea that they can't handle it, or maybe such sex-talkers bring it on themselves, but it's just seemed to me when a women talks about it publicly then it becomes overly stressed in interviews/gossip/etc and it must be a burden of sorts, to be an "expert"/maven/icon of sex.

― Chris, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't have a problem talking about sex at all generally. I just hate having it. And I hate it when guys who like me come all over and just talk about sex, especially when they like me too much and won't get the hint.

Sorry, I'm obsessing about that. Grr.

― Ally, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

So I guess my name and email address don't turn you on?

By the way: eew yucky. A person that hates sex and only uses it to gain power... I'm not even going to finish that sentence.

― Nude Spock, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

this thread wont go away. it keeps rising up, thrusting, thrusting

― Mike Hanley, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That makes me wanna puke.

― Ally, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yes, let the puke come spurting out , ou t, out

― Mike Hanley, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Skipping 448 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.
britney is fond of my hand?

todd swiss 1
nearly everyone else 0

― todd swiss (eliti), Thursday, 13 May 2004 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...
Sex just distracts you from more important things: the cricket!

― Justen, Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

word

― jase, Thursday, 24 November 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

I was in love once, and it was beautiful, but I met that girl at college, not in the club or discotheque.

I just felt that needed reiteration.

― emilys. (emilys.), Saturday, 26 November 2005 22:45 (twenty years ago)

are any other straight guys at odds with their own jism ? it's supposed to mean a great deal to me that girls accept (translation- swallow or cosy up to) my cum. i just find it getting in the way.

incidentally, i don't have any corresponding issues with female fluids. not a single one.

― mbott, Saturday, 26 November 2005 23:47 (twenty years ago)

Worst pick-up line ever.

― n/a (Nick A.), Saturday, 26 November 2005 23:49 (twenty years ago)

like i'd bring my issues into small talk like that.

you didn't answer me anyway.

― mbott, Saturday, 26 November 2005 23:57 (twenty years ago)

"cosy up to"?

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Sunday, 27 November 2005 17:38 (twenty years ago)

C ON T, OBV.

― Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Sunday, 27 November 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

at odds with it?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 27 November 2005 18:12 (twenty years ago)

mbott, find someone you trust completely, who is willing to castrate you.

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 27 November 2005 18:19 (twenty years ago)

"supposed to"? according to who?

pls realise that most pornographers aren't particularly concerned with portraying the truth of these issues.

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 27 November 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

Maybe it's the planning for it that's knocking you for a loop.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 27 November 2005 18:37 (twenty years ago)

i geuss i'm a little put off by younger girls who were socialised differently than i was, and who have their own issues stemming from trying (?) to imitate porno, or else in act in some way that is supposely sex positive.

then again maybe it is in the planning.

― m bott, Sunday, 27 November 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

don't use sex as a weapon

― gershy, Monday, 4 June 2007 06:15 (eighteen years ago)

Ally, summoner of Weezer songs

― kingfish, Monday, 4 June 2007 06:21 (eighteen years ago)

or pat benatar

― gershy, Monday, 4 June 2007 06:33 (eighteen years ago)

there's a difference?

― kingfish, Monday, 4 June 2007 06:34 (eighteen years ago)

pussies vs. vagina

― gershy, Monday, 4 June 2007 06:36 (eighteen years ago)

? there's a difference?

― kingfish, Monday, 4 June 2007 06:40 (eighteen years ago)

Vaginas have better self-esteem.

― Hey Jude, Monday, 4 June 2007 15:38 (eighteen years ago)

Sex is the most perfect thing our bodies can do pernod.

― Mark G, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:09 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.pernod.net/img/home/prehome_fond.jpg

― TOMBOT, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:11 (eighteen years ago)

per nod

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:11 (eighteen years ago)

well, i was just on the phone to sex, and it hates YOU

― darraghmac, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:21 (eighteen years ago)

SEX says she's faking it, Mark. But does that matter to you? ;)

― Hey Jude, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:26 (eighteen years ago)

i can tell.

― Mark G, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:26 (eighteen years ago)

Then sex is the most perfect thing your male body can do. Got it.

― Hey Jude, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:41 (eighteen years ago)

Actually being completely honest, I think the best porn would just be some hot girls looking like they just got out of bed preparing a full 5-course meal in a big kitchen but wearing just thongs and no tops.

tombot when do you make this i would like a copy please

― max, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:02 (eighteen years ago)

Girls who think sex is dull at 22 often grow into women obsessed with it at 36, in part because the line of guys taking a number to get into their trousers has drastically dwindled.

― libcrypt, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:31 (eighteen years ago)

nope, other way around for me.

― Masonic Boom, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:33 (eighteen years ago)

So you were bored with sex then and are even boreder now, or you have blossomed into a superfreak?

― libcrypt, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:34 (eighteen years ago)

Or was there no line at 22 and there's a queue around the block now?

― libcrypt, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:35 (eighteen years ago)

no, i was obsessed with sex at 22, bored with it at 36.

though you'd probably still say that was related to the length of the "line".

― Masonic Boom, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:35 (eighteen years ago)

I cannot believe there's never been an "I rate sex." parody thread.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:36 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, hang on. The rest of the board.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:36 (eighteen years ago)

I'm not necessarily making any generalizations about what happens to freaky chix as they age, but in my experience, they just get freakier.

― libcrypt, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:37 (eighteen years ago)

So, er, I guess the conclusion is that women are apt to get freaky at some point. You just gotta wait 'em out.

― libcrypt, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:39 (eighteen years ago)

This is all backed up by super-scientific research, BTW.

― libcrypt, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:40 (eighteen years ago)

Irate Sex?

― Mark G, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 07:33 (eighteen years ago)

Actually, I was thinking about this last night. I don't actually hate sex, neither am I bored with actual sex. What I'm bored with and hate is all the stupid crap you have to go through to *get* it from someone you'd actually want to have sex with.

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 10:55 (eighteen years ago)

haha ok that's pretty much otm for me

― electricsound, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 11:20 (eighteen years ago)

Is the thread-starting ally = adam schefter ha ha?

― libcrypt, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:39 (eighteen years ago)

pernoid

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:47 (eighteen years ago)

p-noid

― Jordan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:48 (eighteen years ago)

Hate sex deserves harsher penalties.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:54 (eighteen years ago)

hate-cuddling

― Jordan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:55 (eighteen years ago)

i just pretend to like sex to get girls to sleep with me

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:57 (eighteen years ago)

"hey babe check it out I like sex"
I should've thought of that YEARS ago

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:58 (eighteen years ago)

I don't actually hate sex, neither am I bored with actual sex.

likewise i think i'm falling into some sort of groucho marx trap here where i'm only bored with the women who will actually sleep with me.

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 18:40 (eighteen years ago)


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