Eamon Dunphy quotes

On Harry Kewell again - "He's fat and a clown, Bill, a fat clown for all to see"

Keane's got some free time to buddy up with him now. I hope they get a room.

yeah, you can't fuck with the Kewell one. you can taste his outrage and disgust.

Kewell by miles.

Although the above is only a meagre internet-recorded sample of ED goodness, which stretches over about 30 years of RTE football punditry. I'm sure there are some choice quotes relating to Italia 90 f'rinstance, when Jack Charlton blankly refused to countenance the Dunphster at a press conference.

^^^the first half of the anti-Venables zingathon.

if only he was as rude abt u2 as el tel

Voted Crooks/Eriksson out of personal Youtube nostalgia

Disappointed by the absence of "reality is kaka".

I always thought the "head is better than his feet" quote was about legendary striker/defender Gary Doherty. Went for Kewell.

He wrote an article in the Irish tabloids claiming that Morrissey's "Dagenham Dave" (I think that was the title) was about Terry Venables. Apparently it had El Tel on the cover of the single.

The problem with this thread for me is that the quotes don't seem as good isolated from the format. I do love "a nothing player"/"found out" though.

What I like about Dunphy is that he's sort of like a one purpose battering ram. Half the time he's talking absolute shite but then there's a moment, eg when Ireland are knocked out under Stan Staunton, where he takes advantage of the national gloom and fires out ridiculous hyperbole that everyone agrees with. EG WOULD YE LET HIM DRIVE THE TRAIN TO CORK (a sad absence from this thread)

I also love when he's a bit boozy and wistful and starts lamenting the Irish game: "RUBY WALSH.....PADRAIG HARRINGTON...RONNIE FUCKING DELANEY......THE GREATEST GAA PLAYERS IN THE WORLD, BONO, THE CRANBERRIES, B*WITCHED, GUINNESS, CATHOLIC GUILT, AND WE TOLERATE THIS RABBLE ON THE SOCCER PITCH??? SOMEBODY IN THE FAI MUST STAND UP NOW AND DECREE THAT WE LET THESE KIDS PLAY. LET THE KIDS PLAY BILL, THAT'S MY POINT."

The amount of times my friends and I quote Dunphyisms is actually ridiculous, eg "that's a nothing pint, it's been found out". "A rubbish pint for all to see."

also for cannavaro, did he not say "a hundred million grand, a day" or am I exaggerating via memory. he was so pissed that night. the first thing he said when it came back (it was after Germany/Italy) was "isn't it wonderful tho? football, the world cup, I am honoured to be here" with a big wiggly grin on his face.

also he has no techno:

Another story: a friend of mine's Dad is fairly well known in Ireland and was at some dinner where Dunphy was present. Dunphy approached him after a few drinks and began this emotional speech that was all like "YOU SIR, YOU SIR ARE RECOGNISED IN IRELAND AS A FINE ACHIEVER IN YOUR TRADE.....ME?? I'M A CHANCER! A BOLLOCKS!" and all this crap.

What a strange little bollocks he is!

The youtube clips of him and Giles laying into Graham Taylor after England went out of Euro 92 are lots of fun.

also...when he says "not a chance BABY" now and again at the end of a rant.

Not including "you wouldn't let him drive the train to Cork in the monring" is like omitting "they'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight" from the Jeff Stelling poll. It's a joke. A fucking travesty.

A NOTHING POLL

Whoever started it is a clown and a fool.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

On Roy Keane - "He's right, he's right about everything!"

On Niall Quinn - "I'm not gonna address the Niall Quinn agenda, Niall
Quinn is a creep"

"The man's an idiot, a Mother Theresa"

On Kevin Kilbane - "Kilbane's head is better than his feet. If only he
had three heads, one on the end of each leg."

On Harry Kewell - "Kewell should have been yanked off the pitch at half
time and put in a hot bath, a boiling hot bath."

On Luis Garcia - "They (Liverpool) should put Garcia where he belongs -
in the dustbin."

On Djibril Cisse - "here we have Cisse, right wing, attempts to put in a
cross, BANG...hits the full back, again BANG hits the full back,
BANG...off the full back again, and once more, BANG...smacks the full
back again.... Millions of euro and he can't clear the first man, I
mean...whats he trying to do to the full back here, Kill him??"

On John Hartson - 'Bill, Hartson is not a 7million pound player....its a disgrace, a shambles! This is the state of football today Bill. I have a clip here of why Hartson is NOT a 7million player....Roll it there Bill! (literally 1 second in to the clip) OKAY, HOLD IT THERE BILL!!! (draws a circle around Hartson's arse) Bill, that is NOT the arse of a 7million player!''

On Liam Brady - "He is often looked on as a great player. He is nothing of the kind. His performance on Wednesday was a disgrace, a monument to conceit adorned with vanity and self-indulgence, rendered all the more objectional by the swagger of his gait. He was deemed by many observers to have had a splendid game."

On Steve Staunton - "He doesn't look like a manager! He doesn't sound like a manager! ...Would you let him sit in your seat Bill, without any training? ...Would you let him drive the train to Cork without any training Bill? It's the same thing!"

On Cristiano Ronaldo - "Can you imagine Tiger Woods or any of the great sportsmen; Lewis Hamilton, Padraig Harrington, Ruby Walsh the jockey - going out in front of a paying audience and playing like that - while they are world player of the year. It's an absolute disgrace to the game... What they saw tonight was an impersonator, a clown, a self-indulgent idiot really, doing crazy things. He's a petulant brat Bill, poncing around all night. I go back to Maradona, Pele, Bobby Charlton, John Giles, Ronnie Whelan, Liam Brady, Roy Keane, would you have seen Roy Keane do that? No way baby. There are great players, Kaka for example, Lionel Messi for example, Xavi at Barcelona for example. If you say that's showbiz, this is showbiz Bill (points at self). If you really want to make it showbiz, take your gear off."

“The greatest player in the world? He must have sawdust in his brains.”

Eamon Dunphy: "Look at Graeme, he won four Champions Leagues."
Graeme Souness: " Three."
Dunphy: " He won four league titles."
Souness: "Five."
Dunphy: "It's not bloody Mastermind."

i've definitely started a guffbank thread with these iirc

"He's fat and a clown, Bill, a fat clown for all to see"

Still so great. I say this or a variation about my dog every day and it brings me tremendous joy every time

he's had a word or two for trap iirc