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Office Attire—search and destroy

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something that falls somewhere in the middle for me because of horror/fascination combo is the phenomenon of the Well-Groomed Businessman/Lawyer with impossibly close shave, manicured nails, pristine suit and as dave q might say assiduously maintained hair. i wonder why they don't pursue this impulse for optimum moisturization and presentation --> just go whole-hog and put on a tasteful amount of eyeliner, or a little light lip-gloss.

what styles would you BAN from your workplace forevermore? what should we see more of?

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Tracer: SOME OF THEM DO.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I LIKE getting dressed up and seeing other people dressed up for work. I don't equate a close shave and neat hair with effeminacy (although actually getting your nails manicured would be pushing it). What I don't like seeing in the office? Here goes: t-shirts. Give me a break. Our new administrative assistant wears these knit, duotone t-shirt things (not a concert t or anything), and I feel like saying "get with it, kid; you can't wear a t-shirt to the office". Khakis. OK, khakis are ok, and I have some myself. When you see everyone wearing them all the time it turns into a dud. Those Camper sneakers in funny color leather with the real obvious stitching. I don't care if they cost $150.00... they're sneakers; don't wear'em. And they're ugly. Short-sleeved dress shirts. There is no such thing as a short-sleeved dress shirt. Don't ever forget it.

― Sean, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sean I see their grooming as effeminate only in that these guys' desperate reinforcement of their codes of masculinity and power sync up accidentally to women's reinforcement of their own codes of femininity. The grooming is just this sort of happy common ground between the powerbroker sexes (at that level IS there a difference in gender beyond these codes?) and I figure the women could give them some tips.

These guys all have the same touchstones and would be lost in the world without them; elevator conversation when not re: slightly gossipy internecine work crap revolves around 1) nasty/porno comments about their secretaries 2) advice on golfing technique or preferred golfing locations and that's it, unless a female co-worker is present in which case talk turns to 1) charity dinners at the Waldorf-Astoria where they're trying to impress and 2) totally uncomfortable attempts to appear human

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This question is prompted by dismay at my own office wardrobe; I'm afraid I'm one of those sneaker guys, Sean.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

One place where I used to work had a written dress code that didn't mention gender. At times I wondered what would happen if a male employee showed up to work wearing a skirt or dress that complied with that code.

― j.lu, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Am currently wearing a triple attack to Sean's precepts -- a KMFDM tour T-shirt, khaki Old Navy shorts (just purchased, whee) and black Reeboks. I love my workplace.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I didn't mention shorts because frankly they are just beyond the pale. At least you're not wearing Birkenstocks.

― Sean, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If Sean was my manager, I would have to kill him.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That would be rude, Dan.

I have never worn Birkenstocks. Never saw the appeal.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I can see how killing your manager would be seen as a faux pas, but I'm facing my first summer ever at a company that discourages wearing shorts in the summertime and I'm not sure how I'm going to cope. This is seriously upsetting me. (It should be taken as a good sign that the only thing I can find about my job to upset me is the fact that I can't wear shorts to work.)

― Dan Perry, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Business casual at my place of employment. We used to be able to wear what ever the hell we wanted until a greedy evil bank took us over and forced us into khaki's. I liked it better when I could wear my Red House Painters t-shirt.

― Chris, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If you need to be individual about stuff it seems to me that there are plenty of ways to do this within the policy. j.lu's suggestion representing one extreme of this. Try wearing fire-engine-red chinos. Or something.

― Tracer hand, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've already got my doodoo-brown painter's slacks that I've been known to rock on occasion. Also, my BLINGLBING dragon shirt and electric-green long-sleeved shirt have been hits.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

black sneakers with shorts? um, HELLO.

― bc, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Destroy: Pantyhose. Tights in the winter are a different story (black tights = fashion firmanent par excellence), but in the summer pantyhose with a skirt and pumps are uncomfortable, unhygenic and just plain nasty. My last job had a printed dress code which MANDATED pantyhose and suit jackets at all times, which was quite the morale-eroder.

Search: I'd like to see a more liberal use of glitter and eyeblack in my workplace.

― felicity, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd like to see a more liberal use of black eyes.

― Tracer hand, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I've already got my doodoo-brown painter's slacks that I've been known to rock on occasion. Also, my BLINGLBING dragon shirt and electric-green long-sleeved shirt have been hits.

Dan, if you can get away with glam wear like that at the office, you're indeed lucky;>

― Nichole Graham, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

[part 2, of previous post]

As I'd forgotten to say, I've been lucky to be able to wear casual clothes to my last jobs: there was nowt wrong in wearing your concert t-shirt, jeans or shorts to the office. Course, it helps if you work in a creative industry;>

What to destroy? Stillettos to work. I've seen countless businesswomen barely run to the elevator in them. Most of the time, I'd just wait for them to fall on their faces....

― Nichole Graham, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)


― felicity, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry, that was a little vague.

I've seen countless businesswomen barely run to the elevator in [stilletos]. Most of the time, I'd just wait for them to fall on their faces....
Aw, Nichole, you say that like it's a *bad* thing.

― felicity, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Aw, Nichole, you say that like it's a *bad* thing.

Actually, it was rather fun to watch. It was trying not to grin that was difficult.

― Nichole Graham, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Those awful flowered dresses with pleated skirts and collars that look like two halves of a book. If I ran an office, I'd allow them only on men.

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

black sneakers with shorts? um, HELLO.

?

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 6 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

anti-fashion: is it fashion? bare feet, an oversized Mathematica t- shirt/moo-moo, some flood pants, unwashed hair - you judge.

― paul barclay, Tuesday, 7 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...
I WOULD RATHER WEAR PANTYHOSE TO WORK RATHER LOOK LIKE I'M GOING TO THE BEACH LIKE MY CO WORKERS WEARING SLACKS WITH A SLIP ON SLIPPERS...THOSE ARE NOT APPROPRIATE

― JOANNA MARSH, Monday, 8 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Pantyhose are jolly lucky to have JOANNA MARSH in their corner, loudly defending them from snide detractors.

― Nancy Drew, Monday, 8 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Look what have I TOLD you? Wearing pantyhose in this office is gross misconduct, it's a sackable offence.

(Removes pantyhose in one go and deposits it in the bin)

No one bothers listening to lonely me. If this company were an isthmus I would lack fluid intake.

Look, you should be my mirror image. No one can be my mirror image except me. If you were the bell, I would be pushing the keys and biting down on your reed. I've just given all your staff to Steve 'cos he's like me. Napalm for the ladies and catapults for the boys, anyone? Gotta meet those targets. It is most regrettable. I'm not talking, honest. (two seconds later) YOU'RE DOIN' IT ALL WRONG me and you could make a great team if you shut it and LET ME DO EVERYTHING THIS IS MY COMPANY RIGHT and one day I ain't gonna be here yeah?

― Clive Mentalist Jacosb for legal reasons, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

hurrah for today in the office i am wearing a black cotton top with cap sleeves, a black cotton/linen skirt, black and pink stripey socks and... BLACK VEGAN BIRKENSTOCKS!! ha i am sean's and ned's worst sartorial nightmare! ;)

― katie, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

haha so it's ok to eat your birkenstocks then?

― Josh, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

eww eww eww especially since the footpads get all soft and loamy after a while and it looks like you could grow wee sprouts out of them.

― nabisco%%, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ronan to thread!!

― mark s, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Are wee-covered Birkenstocks vegan?

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

only in the same sense that shit-covered adidas classics are carnivorous

― Matt, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

horror/fascination combo is the phenomenon of the Well-Groomed Businessman/Lawyer with impossibly close shave, manicured nails, pristine suit and as dave q might say assiduously maintained hair.

i think it's the absence of pathos, the missing silent appeal in the most apparently confident dresser who, nonetheless, cares! so gatsby could have a wardrobe full of shirts, but he still wouldn't be one of them. and in the story about the cock by d.h. lawrence (if my impressions weren't all made up after the fact; i was too embarrassed to finish it anyways, just like it's embarrassing how i'm going on now), the shrill woman, just married, who is saved by the failure of her clothes: they're ambitious and she almost carries them off, but doesn't quite manage to... one likes her all the more for that. and at this party that i went to on the 4th of july, there was this guy who could have been one of them in his white shirt with blue checks, khaki trousers, and neat hair, but then his worn eyes gave him away, although he mostly wore sunglasses.

― youn, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

nine months pass...
. . . and summer brings to the office the slap-slap-slapping sound of feet walking around the office in summer shoes. I have been this person at times.

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

one time I wore flip-flops to work. I have a feeling that wouldn't go over so well here at the investment bank.

― hstencil, Tuesday, 29 April 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, why are summer shoes so noisy? This is the first time I've not worn boots in about 4 months.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I work in an office as an accountant and I dress like a slob. Don't know why I keep applying for other jobs!

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I HATE womens shoes walking around the office. In the winter the CLACKETY CLACKETY CLACK of heels. In the summer the SLAP SLAP SLAP of slides. Women when will it end? Until your office gets carpeted leave the interminable NOISE MAKERS at home.

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I think anyone who wears loud clacking shoes into the linoleum-floored work room here should be required to tap dance their way through.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

my office has really expensive wall-to-wall carpet. The only CLACKETY CLACKETY CLACK is that of fingers on keyboards, the only SLAP SLAP SLAP is that of asshole investment bankers sexually harassing their assistants.

― hstencil, Tuesday, 29 April 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

(one of my co-workers just used "on the money" in conversation - does she know about my ILX addiction?)

― hstencil, Tuesday, 29 April 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate flip-flops in the office. There ought to be a law. Am I the only person who is hyper noise-sensitive at work?

― Kerry (dymaxia), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Er no. I am also sensitive to SMELL. Thank god the VV posse leaves the perfume at home.

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

grr last week I got a great pair of sneakers (k-swiss black canvas w 5 white stripes on a side) for cheap, under $20 cheap. They're still a little clean'n'clowny right now, but they've got real potential.

BUT they don't fit right in the heel (yet, I hope) so they make this fucking farting noise at every step. Sucks.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

yes and it's worse in the OFFICE so I'm still ot, thanks.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Flip-flops, or any kind of noisy footwear for that matter (clip-clop heels included) would not go down well in my office AT ALL, seeing as we have a well-founded obsession with noise. This is the most open-plan office ever, with a big central atrium which combines both reception area/lobby and restaurant. The use of the term 'canteen' is discouraged, btw. There were plans afoot to reduce the noise emanating from downstairs by use of some netting over the "hole", which would be grebt if it was old-Laser-Quest-in-Hythe Bridge Street stylee camouflage netting, for the novelty value.

But what are BIRKENSTORKS? Does anyone in the uk know what these are? (We went out on the streets of Oxford [dramatic pause] to find out!

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 08:06 (twenty-two years ago)

birkenstocks are v wholesome sandals. there is a birkenstock shop on neal st. in london.

― ambrose (ambrose), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 08:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I think all shoes should be given a noise rating, so that you know when you buy them how noisy they are. And shoe shops should have a lino/hard floor area for you to try it out yourself.

I've got a really nice pair of work shoes, but they are so bloody noisy, which ofcourse I didn't realise until after I'd handed over my hard earned cash. It's so embarrassing, walking down the street at night, when it's really quiet, and all you can hear is clip clop, clip clop.

― Vicky (Vicky), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 08:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Hah, I work in an office (of sorts) and today I am wearing Vans, jeans, and a t-shirt! I have shaved and everything; this = v.v. smart for me!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 08:28 (twenty-two years ago)

THE NOISIER THE SHOES THE BETTER.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

That was very non-sequitous comment, ambrose.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

birkenstocks and teva's should be banned for good.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

markH: what are birkenstorks?

ambrose: this is what birkenstocks are and where to get.


??

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

If u take ur noisy shoes to a shoe-fixer-guy (never met a girl one) he can glue new sole stuff on the bottom and they won't be so noisy and u'll be 3 mm taller in them. It's all good.

― toraneko (toraneko), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

markH: what are birkenstorks?

and can we eat them?

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Destroy: sandals and white socks. This is what I'm wearing today, and I do so regret it. The 50-yr-old man next to me told me I look nerdy. I have never worn socks and sandals in my life before today, I swear to God. And I never will again.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

At least you have learned your lesson.

I practically have to wear a burka to work, the dress code here is very conservative.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...
On House M.D. the other night foxy hospital admin lady Dr. Cuddy was srsly wearing a neon pink old lady silk whirt w/the puffy sleeves ending in buttoned cuffs, scarf-nehru collar weirfness, and ruffles on the chest. With a pearl necklace. And a knee-length skirt (also pinky red, IIRC).

THIS particular post-Secretary look is endorsed as the yummy way for office women to dress. However 99.9% of the people buying into it just look like younger Golden Girls.

ALSO does anyone think vests will actually catch on? They're in all the shops again and I really doubt it somehow. Like they'd make me feel like Blossom. I say this is all unacceptable attire and office women should dress like mean equestrian trainers.

― Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 22:09 (nineteen years ago)

I am doing the foxy today.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 12 October 2006 10:00 (nineteen years ago)

Turn back you tally ho!

― StanM (StanM), Thursday, 12 October 2006 10:30 (nineteen years ago)

I have turned into Sean! yesterday was my first day working in an office in QUITE a long time so I spiffed up good, or as good as I can do it these days. Brand-new white oxford shirt, dark olive trousers, brown leather shoes, everything neat and tucked in. I looked pretty good. I nervously wait in the lobby for my contact. He shows me upstairs and everyone's wearing f*cking t-shirts. Get with it gents.

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Thursday, 12 October 2006 11:46 (nineteen years ago)

my wife is very jealous of those outfits both cutty and the other chick on House have taken to wearing this year

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 12 October 2006 11:59 (nineteen years ago)


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