Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one story.

Anthea Turner is down to her last million or something.

'Those people who moan about you driving around in your nice big car are forgetting the guy who washes the car now hasn't got a job or who did the maintenance on it.'

Referring to herself in the third person, she added: 'There is no way Anthea Turner can complain about anything in her life.'

lol smacked off her tits

I really tried hard to feel some sympathy for her and not fall into the trap the DM sets which is - haha look at this oik who thought she was better than us - but it's soooooooooo difficult.

Referring to oneself in the third person - confirmation of encroaching insanity.

Should have stayed with Pidda Powell innit?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1107290/Revolt-Robbed-right-buy-traditional-light-bulbs-millions-clearing-shelves-supplies.html

Reporter BETH HALE on the great bulb hunt: 'Yes I found some... but it wasn't light work'

So when is print journalism finally going up the spout? I can't fuckin' wait.

Thanks for that, Ledge. FYTP.

sorry mate :(

Wtf is there to love about a lightbulb? Edison loyalists far more numerous than we were led to believe?

Ach, sorry for over-reacting, Ledge. It does piss me off massively that the last remnants of print journalism in the UK are probably going to be the fucking Mail and the Sun -- and I'd be the first to admit that we (ie print hacks in general) are paying a heavy price for decades upon decades of arrogance/overstaffing/intransigence etc.

But I'd also argue that the death of print journalism -- journalism led by "news", even if that news is invariably biased -- is simply going to lead to shit like this lightbulb nonsense becoming even more prevalent. It's not so much about the print media as it is about journalistic values; or, rather, having organisations with the resources to investigate stories properly and the desire to actually do so. Once that's gone, and all that's left are the rumps of former media empires, churning out shit like the above, and a few well-meaning bloggers wondering who to leech off now ... well, I really can't see who wins.

(Also: gah, driving up the Mail's hit count with our clickety-clicking ain't helping.)

How do we go about lobbying Brussels to ban the Daily Mail?

271 comments!

The Mail website is pretty awesome though. I spend more time on it than any other after The Guardian's. it's usually the site with the best pictures available online, scattered large through the story. The sections work well, and have really good puffs alongside the right that can keep me hanging around the site for ages.

You're getting such a doing next time I'm in work ;)

have really good puffs alongside the right that can keep me hanging around the site for ages

Also: what the fuck for? Free extra-energy-burning lightbulbs? The miserable woman's guide to a thinner, bitchier 2009? 10 things you never knew about house prices?

Have a look at the celebrity section. So much to read!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/index.html

Changing my display name to "beloved lightbulb".

xp
read

Actually, look at this sad Richard O'Sullivan story for an example. All those juicy Femail stories boxed down the right!

http://www.adozensteps.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/lightbulb.jpg

The Mail website is pretty awesome though. I spend more time on it than any other after The Guardian's. it's usually the site with the best pictures available online, scattered large through the story. The sections work well, and have really good puffs alongside the right that can keep me hanging around the site for ages.

― Alba, Wednesday, January 7, 2009 2:06 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol i thought it was a myth that people in the all 'respect' the mail for its vaunted professionalism.

Oops - I linked to the wrong story.

Here's the Richard O'Sullivan one

Actor gets old. Let's take a close look at his wrinkly old face. Wot a loser!

But yeah, that was the first one I clicked on as well...

http://blogs.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/ianwylie/2007/04/emmerdale_paula_wilcox.html

balance.

All those juicy Femail stories boxed down the right!

Royal! Man has shave.
Nostalgia! Man grows older; looks different.
Diet! Ex-EastEnder has new publicist.
Tits! Also with Big Brother link (This is good, keep it up - Ed)
Stating the fucking obvious! Man with cancer "not exactly doing a song and dance about it"
Baby! Man and woman have child.
Beckhams! Man and woman still exist.
Rooneys! Man and woman who had more money than you still have more money than you.

You know, I don't think I've felt this depressed in my life. I'm off to devote my life to charity.

I'm off to devote my life to charity

Still working for the Herald then?

I'm off to devote my life to charity

And watching Celebrity Big Brother ...

Richard O'Sullivan is only 64! It's hardly that old.

lol i thought it was a myth that people in the all 'respect' the mail for its vaunted professionalism

Uh...

in the print meeja

or just newspaper biz

the mail print a story about richard o'sullivan's decay every year, i am sure about it

I LIVE HERE IN THE UNITED STATES. I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT THE CLOSING CREDITS OF THREE'S COMPANY WHERE IT SAYS "BASED ON MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE". SO I DECIDED TO LOOK IT UP ON THE COMPUTOR NOT ONLY THAT I PURCHASED ALL THE EPISODES TO MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE. THE SHOW IS REALLY FUNNY AND EVEN WATCHING IT OVER AND OVER I NEVER STOP LAUGHING. FOR A FUNNY SHOW LIKE MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE, I THINK THE SHOW SHOULD HAVE RAN A COUPLE OF MORE YEARS BACK THEN. THE SHOW MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE ENDED TOO SOON FOR ME.

Posted by: CARLOS RIOS | July 13, 2008 06:45 PM

Quite right. I wonder if Mr Rios had Richard O'Sullivan Google Alerts set up.

"alert: Richard O'Sullivan looks five minutes older than he did five minutes ago"

I thought he was top class in "Dick Turpin" BTW...

<a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1109722/Men-dont-curvy-women-attractive-father-children-autism.html";>Men who don't find curvy women attractive 'could father children with autism'</a>

o_0

or whatever the ht stupid ml is

Umm. As far as the reporting of such things goes, that ain't bad. No, it doesn't explain how the experiment was controlled, whether the findings were statistically significant, etc -- but when was the last time you saw a newspaper article that did? I fear your problems might well be with the nature of the research than with the Mail's reporting of it, Lex. Me: I'm going to reserve judgement until such time as I've read the article in the JADD (which I might actually do -- it's an area of vague interest to me, that. I could even try to work it into an essay I've written but not yet handed in, but ... no.)

i haven't read the story, it was the headline which caught my eye and made it go o_0

it seems like...not even the worst kind of health-related fearmongering, because it's too out-there for that

In the sidebar: "End of the hourglass: Career women usher in a straighter female form. The classic hourglass figure made famous by Sophia Loren and Marilyn Monroe appears to have had its day."

(I mean: as a hack by trade and psychology student by choice, I've just spent a whole day ploughing through research articles and the one thing I can say is that even a 20-page report can miss out salient facts. So although there are myriad holes in that Mail piece, in terms of crunching down a piece of research into a couple of hundred non-academic words, it's pretty fucking good. If it turns out to be misrepresenting the study completely, of course, I shall stand corrected.)

xpost

it seems like...not even the worst kind of health-related fearmongering, because it's too out-there for that

Dude, read the fucking article then. It is based on a piece of potentially valid research.

Researchers showed 100 men with autistic children pictures of curvy women, women with athletic frames and more rounded women and found that they do not have a preference on which figure they find more attractive.

The new research from the University of Bath suggests that fathers of autistic children do not share the preference of men across the world for the curvier woman.

this really does seem quite o_O tho

So headline should read:

Men who prefer non-curvy women might be fathers to autistic children.

"My son has autism, I'm afraid I cannot look at curves with pleasure anymore"

this really does seem quite o_O tho

Yes, welcome to experimental psychology.

Men who prefer non-curvy women might be fathers to autistic children

Hah, no: they showed no preference for any figure. "Men who don't conform to arguable global norm for what heterosexual males find attractive" is a bit unwieldy for a headline, though.

What's there isn't an elegant headline, either, I agree. I can see why they chose it, though.

AutiDads love Posh More.

there. Fixed.

horribly sure i've said this before - i have an idea for a short story about a support group for the families of people whose deaths are so stupid that they never elicit sympathy for the bereaved

Feel bad for the loved ones of that Tory MP who wanked himself to death ('wanked himself to death' copyright Frank Dobson, 1995)

'Tory MP wanks himself to death whilst wearing women's lingerie' is such a perfect story, it 'fits' so well that any of that guys own unique, individual hopes/dreams/pain/idiosyncrasies are just steamrollered aside by this concept.

Sunday Times editor Andrew Neil described Milligan: "He possessed an enquiring, original intelligence, a wide knowledge of foreign and domestic affairs and he was great fun to work with, his infectious laugh filling our editorial meetings, where he played a major role in defining the paper's policy positions".[4]

http://i.imgur.com/i7qDmSK.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/i7qDmSK.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/i7qDmSK.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/i7qDmSK.png

That's alright, I'm sure the rational and fair voice of the UK public in the comments section will set the Mail straight on this kind of 'Jack-Journalism' (my coinage for patriotic white-washing of news in our favourite fash-friendly non-tabloid. Pretty clever wordsmithery by my, eh?)

That Manchester United are ready to offer Adnan Januzaj a pay rise which would amount to 290 per cent, on the back of one Premier League match, may seem crazy.

It may also explain one reason why many young players in the modern game who hit the heights early don’t fulfil their potential because they have achieved financial security by the age of 20.

But even within the mad finances of football, there is economic logic to United being prepared to raise the 18-year-old’s pay from its current trainee £1,000-a-week level to around £30,000 a week.

England is the only developed country producing school leavers who are worse at maths and reading than their grandparents, according to a damning report.

The study found 16 to 24-year-olds are among the least literate and numerate in the world, lagging behind those in countries including Estonia, Poland and the Slovak Republic.

England came 22nd out of 24 countries for the reading skills of its young people and 21st for maths, according to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.

lmao

haaaa

even those fucken polak savages

(xps) Now that's what I call mental arithmetic...

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England is the only developed country producing school leavers who are worse at maths and reading than their grandparents, according to a damning report.

The study found 16 to 24-year-olds are among the least literate and numerate in the world, lagging behind those in countries including Estonia, Poland and the Slovak Republic.

England came 22nd out of 24 countries for the reading skills of its young people and 21st for maths, according to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.

Generally speaking, that's pretty poor English.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BYZbMRzCMAAEQm5.jpg

poll

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a9/Network12.jpg

I'm sick of it all! The "Everything that's wrong with Britain" Poll

Poll!

The Daily Mail, however, was not a fan of the desk [on the new ITV breakfast show "Good Morning Britain"], complaining it hid Reid's legs from view.

"Later on the show, however, Susanna moved from behind the desk, giving viewers the chance to catch a glimpse of her enviable pins," it reported.

looking forward to the Mail's "Upskirt Corner" page

Getta loada them gams!

Pupil Jacob Hill, 16, from Leeds, said: 'He had gone through stages of depression and used to be on anti-depressants.'

16-year-old Matthew Calvert, also of Leeds, was in many of the same lessons as the alleged attacker and described him as 'strange'.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/04/28/article-2614929-1D6C83B400000578-607_634x634.jpg

Aerial view: A 15-year-old male pupil has been arrested after a female teacher was stabbed to death this morning at Corpus Christi Catholic College (pictured) in Leeds

Rewitten version for 'clarity', apparently it's not them it's ...

Regarding the launch day, complaints from viewers on Monday focused on the fact that Susanna's now famous legs - whose pay for the role is £400,000 a year - double that of her former BBC salary - were hidden from view.

One viewer commented: 'Why has ITV paid so much for @susannareid100 only to put her behind a desk? Its like buying a Ferrari and keeping it in the garage #gmb.'

Another wrote: 'You don't hire Susanna Reid and then stick her behind a desk #getyourpinsout #GoodMorningBritain.'

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/04/29/article-2615742-1D715B8400000578-826_636x382.jpg

a great night in

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/06/26/article-2670757-1F25E4B900000578-797_634x378.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2745218/Amputee-Gipsy-busker-no-legs-bragged-Channel-5-TV-programme-milking-Britain-s-benefits-attacked-street-ex-soldier.html

An ex-soldier has been handed a suspended sentence for racially aggravated threatening behaviour towards an amputee gipsy busker who bragged on national TV about 'milking the benefits system'.
Viorel Dinu, 25, told Channel 5's Gypsies on Benefits and Proud he and other Romanians had come to the UK because it was a 'soft touch' for scroungers, a court heard.
But his boasts caught up with him when former soldier Mark Hawksby, 34, recognised him from the programme after tripping over the busker's money-filled coat on a street in York.

http://i.imgur.com/j5kWvhd.jpg

'That's beyonce? oh wow': @Smooth-Orator reacted with shock after seeing the photos

Unretouched-photos-Beyonce-s-L-Oreal-advert-leak-online-fans-mixed-reactions-Twitter.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3162404/Angry-residents-quiet-English-village-battle-new-music-festival-banned-gangster-rapper-Snoop-Dogg-performing.html

i hope you're not mocking those victims of very real parking and 'expletives' into the early hours concerns

this kind moral panic article about a rapper performing seems like something of a blast from the past, especially someone who has appeared in tv ads for MoneySupermarket.com

My step-dad shared that legendary "Kick This Evil Bastard Out" Daily Star front page with Snoop Dog in the early 90's. The sub-headline about him was "Sicko Bookie". He worked at an independent bookie chain and compiled odds for them, in this case he had sent out some margin-betting to twenty odd shops on how many bodies they were going to excavate from Cromwell St and the shit hit the fan.

he had sent out some margin-betting to twenty odd shops on how many bodies they were going to excavate from Cromwell St

ai yi yiii

Tell me he didn't work for betfred

...and that was the last the betting industry ever heard of Patrick Power

No it was Jack Pearson Licensed Turf accts, shitty little Huddersfield firm. A disgruntled customer in the Waterloo branch called The Star newsdesk about it.

lol xelab/nick

SHOCKED

The campaign for Britain to leave the EU has been infiltrated by dozens of far-Right extremists with racist views, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3625503/The-neo-Nazi-swastika-breast-Vote-Leave-badge-vest-Holocaust-deniers-EDL-fascists-posing-Kray-twins-grave-violent-thugs-racists-hijacking-Brexit-campaign.html

The Mail on Sunday really hates The Daily Mail.

In the same way as Liam and Noel.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/06/06/23/article-3628068-34FCE54300000578-673_311x571.jpg

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13466421_1201237359921265_7740805882770463582_n.jpg?oh=2d4b9a1ca2c3cae63ae3f11365eb77a3&oe=57C7870B

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS12p0Zqlt0

Unless you’re gay, black, transgender, foreign, voted Remain, unemployed, work for the BBC, a single parent, feminist, an NHS worker, Northern, vote Labour, Muslim, overweight, an educator, working class, sexually liberated, vegetarian or believe climate change exists. pic.twitter.com/XmWWSN9HBo

— Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) October 27, 2017

NATURE: Daily Mail readers have just found out about sequential hermaphroditism in fish and now think it’s part of the BBC political agenda. pic.twitter.com/9PtOhnMTRv

— The DM Reporter (@DMReporter) October 26, 2017

A fish called pravda

The Mail somehow managing to sound sarcastic even while bigging itself up on its own front page

Thread by @_MarwanMuhammad: "Hello @MailOnline. I've read your "devastating" article on "illegal migrants in Saint Denis". We too in France have tabloïds who couldn't ca […]" #HardcoreInventedHardlinerVoiceModeActivated

https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1025786653040889856.html

This is what you call a headline.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FHKeyKcX0AAJb3e?format=jpg