"It's Alright I Suppose": Aesthetic Lies

God yeah. I was going to post a wider version of this thread myself. There are lots of situations in which it is not appropriate to get into ILE-type nuances of critical judgement. For me, it's not so much coming out of films (I'm quite honest then) as when people are suggesting seeing/talking about having seen a film that I have no interest in. "So, have you seen Bridget Jones' Diary? It's really funny!" "I've got the new Travis album - I love it. Do you like them?". These are not bad people and there's no point being an arse in response to them.

In that situation though I just say no - and if they push me (ie why don't you like Travis) I try to articulate it in an ILE/M sort of way. They have asked me too after all.

I used to do this quite a bit, and its obviously a good thing to do on a date where critical dialogue can quickly lead to arguments about their favourite film being shit. And in those crucial opening gambits its best not to get on to the Dirty Dancing : Classic or Dud conversation.

Most of my friends already know my opinions are a. bonkers; b. adopted to provoke; c. worked out on the hoof; d. anyway liable to change wildly. So they are happy for me to go off on one: some of em actively encourage it. (Once had GRATE DEBATE with close friend Rae on merits of Spicers, w. sister Becky sitting quietly — and I think a little worried – as it escalated towards INSANE ROW before subsiding... As R&B left, R turnede back and grinned: "Actually I quite like em," she said. "Actually," I said, "they don't anywhere near live up to the all the things I've been claiming for 'em." Becky is then v.cross with BOTH OF US for being manipulative gameplaying whatevers.)

If someone I like likes something, then I like it: or am prepared to go away and reconsider. With v.few exceptions.

Mark, what did you think of If You're Feeling Sinister?

"Yeah, Grease is wicked."

For some reason I can never be bothered to argue when people say to me, "Greg, you'd love Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels - it's got a great soundtrack," which people actually say to me a lot. What is it about me that makes people think I'd like that film?

Sub-thread - shit stuff which people assume you'll like/recommend to you.

Yes, quite often (well, twice recently) someone has offered to burn me a CD or has played me something saying 'oh you'll like this', and I have liked it well enough but not really really loved it. This is similar to getting your friends to set you up with their mates i.e. you end up offended that your so-called friends have such a dim view of your tastes. But I don't argue about films and music anyway because all my friends (except the ones on ILE of course...) are such know alls.

There are two kinds of recommendation that get made to me.

i. Serious considered recommendation based on what somebody knows of my taste. Very few people do this because I'm scary or my tastes are too difficult or something, I suppose. Which is a pity because they're usually right.

ii. Totally random recommendation which I am obviously not going to like at all and is made out of the bouncy goodness of the recommenders heart eg. "oh my GOD i cannot believe you have not heard xxxxx yet" where xxxxx is some fearful indie pish. But I like these recommendations best anyway.

It's funny. Here online I will argue with someone, often pointlessly, til the cows come home about the merits of x; in real life I would just as soon not argue at all. I'm all about agreement and acquiescing, saying "yeah, it was pretty good" or "I agree".

Could it be because people invariably recommend terrible things to me, or trash the things I love in the stupidest manner possible? I think so: at that point there's no room for argument, no sense in wasting words on someone who's not going to hear what you're saying anyway. If someone recommends in all seriousness the new Dave Matthews Band cd, it just seems pointlessly bitchy and cruel to say I'd rather eat broken glass, so I'll say something like "Yeah, I'll check it out" instead.

I can strongly recommend garnering a rep for capricious nuttiness, in re not hurting people's feelings. As long as they're saying to themselves, "Oh, that's just Mark"…

This is also the secret of maintaining a long-term relationship: I am just 'playing devil's advocate' with my completely genuine but totally ill-thought-out opinion so no couple-busting row need occur.

Sort-of-lied in an unpublished recent letter to the Guardian, as mentioned elsewhere.

Pretended not to hate Oasis as much as I did to keep on the right side of my cousins in 1996.

I usually can't be bothered, unless I'm mad at the person I'm talking to. So yeah, conversations go like this: "What do you think of this [insert name of screaming ass awful band here] song?" "Yeah, it's alright, sure". (two weeks later, after questioner has done something to make me want them to die) "Let's listen to [insert name of screaming ass awful band here]!" "You put it on and I will castrate you, that's the worst shit I ever heard, and I'll throw the CD out the window if you try it again".

I really only argue things like this if I'm out to annoy someone who has irritated me. Or if I'm talking to my dad or boyfriend. Like my roommate puts on the most awful Beatles songs and I won't say anything, cos is it really worth it?

Actually, anyone who can't handle my opinion of Dirty Dancing ("root of all social evil") is not worth the initial date, as we'll eventually come to loathe one another anyway.

The problem, for me, develops when someone clearly will have no knowledge of anything I do like, and will therefore be bound to completely misinterpret my dislike -- usually of something in the general direction of my tastes, but not nearly far enough. (Does that make sense?) E.g.: "Do you like Smashing Pumpkins?" "Err, not really, I don't really care for that stuff." "Oh, what do you listen to, then, hip-hop?" Same annoyance goes for pretty much any indie-ish rock band that people actually hear about. I've gotten to the point where I will happily tell certain people that I love Radiohead, because for them to think that gives them a better picture of my tastes than otherwise.

if only people interpreted my hatred of smashing pumpkins to be due to HIPHOP LOVE and not teen pop love.

Ethan: I think being black helps with that one. Being black and wearing glasses in hipster neighborhood = "You probably like Jurassic 5, huh."

Nick: I Am Feeling Sinister. "Um, it's all right, I suppose..."

(Not instantly bowled over. Not horrible.)

People in real-life often assume that since I take music seriously, I must be into prog-rock.

*Must* you mention Jurassic 5, Nitsuh. Now I am scarred for life. AGONY.

Your hatred for Le Pumpkins, Ethan, merely means you are insane. Oh yes. ;-)

Tom E: I am always making recommendations to you. Into which category (i or ii) do they fit?

I actually managed to alienate all my friends in high school at once, when we all went to The Matrix for the first time and I was so enraged that I was forced to sit through such pure unadulterated shit that I exploded with rage and told them all *exactly* what I thought of it. Our relationships never really recovered after that.

One month ago, my sister: "So Dave, what'd you think of the movie [sexy beast]?"
Me: "Ahem... not bad. What'd you think?"

When someone whose feelings I don't wish to hurt (that's most people, I'm a fuckin nice guy) axe me if I like this or that stupid band I always just say, I never heard them. It's pretty often true. But it's pretty often not.

Have you been to a gallery opening. It is everyone smiling beginly and grunting .

Ned: Substitute Blackalicious or Mos Def if that soothes you. But usually it's the aforementioned ensemble, whom I'll refrain from re- mentioning at this particular point in time. In the "Am I Cool or Not" that is life, I only get that and "Hey, you look like the guy who played Gandhi."

I laughed alltheway thru Matrix. One of the best dumb lines ever: "It's a killing machine with only one purpose -- searching and destroying." At least five things wrong with that sentence.

have you ever been to a gallery opening, & the next day someone axe you about the ART. & it occurs to you, Oh right, the, uh, there was some...stuff there, right, ART, shit.

i want to put that on signs at the latest opening .

hey, you could put it on the WALL at the next opening. Do you need a title for my "piece"?

i am semi serious about using it as a catlouge qoute when my methodolgy class gets under way.

I got a telling for saying some art was shit at an opening once, how was I to know that "it's not the done thing"

and it *was* shit too

There is a whole lexicon of euphismis for saying God that work is shit. The art world is really borgesian.

Was it a Chris Ofili show?

i am slighty amused