recently on ILX Dreams...

Not that this has anything to do with ILX, but it's still a weird ass dream.

ps are you hot (if not I will pretend otherwise so no answer required I guess)

Sunday: Lots of different dreams, but all about horses Monday: Weird, there was an end of the world ball, I was supposed to be going, but said I'd get there later. I went to a kind of run down lido place instead. There were lots of pools looking over a lake. There were dead trees, all white, forming a screen in front of the lake, and they were full of children climbing and sitting in them like starlings. There were also a group of oldladies from Florida peddling about in gingham pedelos. When I got back to my friends the end of the world ball had finsihed, it only lasted 45 minutes. We sat about and waited for the end of the world. Last night: I got made president of the USA for no reason and spent the whole night argueing about free hea

(sorry that sounds a bit creepy)

Previously I had dreamed that Jody Beth Rosen was the significant other of Mike Hanle y. I told Jody Beth that one at the Matos FAP also.

Last week, I dreamed about doing something kind of interesting, but I don't remember what that was, either. Except afterwards (still in the dream) I was telling someone I used to know about 1,000 years ago about it and they just didn't understand any of it and I was getting angry with them. Part of my explanation had something to do with Laurel & Hardy, which is really quite disturbing.

Also last week, I dreamed about someone being sexually/romantically interested in me, but it wasn't anyone I know and nothing actually happened. Obviously, the utterly surreal theme of this one made it pretty lucid. :)

i was listening to the radio at work and it was this great song i'd never heard before, sounded like old orbital - brown album type caliber. and the dj comes on and says the song is by 'hitler'. yes the hitler, he went on to say hitler had faked his death at the end of ww2 and retired to his ultra-secret underground layer to work on his true passion and create the world best pop album.

it was a great song, really catchy bass line.

Vmic!

Dreamed that all the other ilxors lived on one street in my neighborhood that had gates at either end of it - not big guarded ones, little ones that you could walk through, but enough to mark the street off as the exclusive domain of ilx. In the dream I finally got up the nerve to walk down that street, and I chatted with some ilxors there but didn't identify myself as one of them.

I'd like to see t hat street

i dreamed i moved to london for work and had plans to meet up with Dom P and Noodle Vague for a pint (actually not sure if either of these dudes resides in London?). i told them that i had joined a gym, that i was going there directly from the office and then i would come meet them at the pub. they (apparently already on the piss) proceeded to inform me about what a knob and a wanker i was.

I was at a bar in my hometown. I receive a tip that Matt Berry is coming to hang out for some reason. It's 9 PM and I decide to go say hi but first I have to go to the bathroom. By the time I exit it is 3 AM and I think "oh my god, I just lost 3 1/2 hours, something's wrong with me" (though I realize now it was 6 hours? at the time I thought it was 3 1/2). Matt Berry is still there though and I go up to him to say hi. I ask him about the band Cluster, because he mentioned in some video that he really likes their second album. So I ask him if he likes all their albums and he says "I do even though I haven't got fuck all idea what they're singing about" (every Cluster album is completely instrumental, but that doesn't occur to me at the time). I say "I hate to do this but can we take a photo together". He agrees and sure enough my phone camera doesn't work, it keeps putting a weird filter on everything. Eventually a couple of people from the "What We Do in the Shadows Social Media Team" approach me and say "Thank you for being a fan, Mr. Berry will take one photo with you but then he has to go." They take a picture and print it out on that real cheap printer paper. I'm excited to show my friends but when I look at it, it has this frame full of bats on it so you can't see either of our faces. All you can see is a Miami Heat fan at the bar watching basketball, even though it is now 4 AM and basketball season hasn't even started yet. I start driving home and think about what I'm gonna say to my wife, since I've been gone for hours and apparently just blacked out for a large chunk of time. I notice my car is growing a horn. And then I woke up

I was supposed to baby sit for someone in a northern town but i had to drive a tractor trailor that I borrowed from this guy and I had no i dea how to drive it - it was just rolling backwards like it was in neutral - then I realized I didnt even know the address and I just decided I would not show up which made me feel very guilty. Also there was a weird bathroom in the tractor trailer with a sink and tiles and everything.

Had this dream where I showed up at this nondescript building and the “owner of ilx” (not who it actually is, some completely fictional person) was like, I’ve deleted your account, can you go to this room? And the room was like a waiting area with other apparently now ex-ilxors? Matt DC was there soon after me & he threw a laptop he had with him at the wall (in this dream reality we…brought our own devices to the building to work there? I don’t know). Someone else (not a real ilx poster) showed up and was like, the owner is deleting the accounts of everyone less famous than Jake Lamb and making it into a music industry insider board. Jake Lamb?! I said. My better half showed up and was like, yeah they deleted my account, yeah I got four weeks notice. Then everyone in the room was like…are we unemployed now?

Don’t mix your drinks, kids!

Like it.

Less Than Jake (Lamb)

thats a good ilx dream

terse and unfriendly antipodean ilxors had taken over my living room and wouldn't leave

― pet tommy & the barkhaters (darraghmac), Thursday, 17 May 2012 08:13 (eleven years ago) bookmarkflaglink

still remember the seedy interrogative attitude of these fuckers

dreamt I was in the street, looking through a window at a tv that was showing an old episode of Brush Strokes, then Karl Howman (actor who played Jacko in Brush Strokes) walked down the street and he was dressed exactly like Jacko in this particular episode of Brush Strokes, except obviously about 40 years older, and I accused him of knowing the show would be broadcast at this time and dressing that way on purpose so that people would recognise him, he denied it

I was on an impossibly tall riverboat looking down at the water from a great height and disembarked at a huge warehouse. I escaped a human threshing machine that emerged from the ceiling and then noticed rows of cubby shelves with pies in them and was trying to alert people that there were probably human remains in these pies, but was completely muted and couldn't talk. Then I was told by someone I'd make a very good social worker and there was a place on a course for me. I told them I fucking hate social workers and they said that's precisely why you'd be a very good one! I was looking at a desk in a giant warehouse with rows of desks, which was presumably a place where they train social workers in my stupid dream. On my desk there was a picture of me looking unrealistically handsome and with a full head of hair. And I was thinking this is blatant flattery, this is a scam.

maybe inspired by the fact that the NIN poll is constantly at the top of Site New Answers but I had a dream that I was in a Nine Inch Nails cover band and we did "Piggy" and the lyrics were "Hey there piggy pig pig oink oink oink"

Had a dream that I visited a bunch of hobbit/elf type creatures, outdoors next to a hill. The hill turned out to be a massive hobbit splayed asleep in a chair. He woke up and grabbed one of the hobbits by its hair to eat it. The hobbit screamed "hair!" and a bunch of its friends wrapped themselves around him until his hair broke and the massive guy gave up.

I was with someone and we were on a train and came upon two people who were the exact replicas of ourselves, asking a conductor directions.. When we reached our destination it wa where we started from.

cool dream!

was your origin/destination a bar y/n

a massive hobbit

I had gone with someone to a foreign place and had met some cool people. When we left they followed us by car and demanded our money

I dreamt I thought I saw a nautilus in some flotsam and jetsam But it actually turned out to be a small plastic Smurf village, and I was pleased that there were all the appropriate parts of the Smurf village so I could have the whole set, including some plastic Smurfs.

I was carrying books outside and looking for a place to read them. All of the bars had turned into restaurants with big white thick tablecloths and smiling but gently refusing junior matire ds. I found a multi level industrial complex that had been transformed into a retail mecca. I met an average looking girl who was nice to me to who I immediately fell in love with. I walked from place to place. I was in some store and someone walked in as I was leaving and they cut the lights and said “and now, let’s all listen to a promotion for spike lee!” In the next room there was a small school auditorium-like stage where Sammy Hagar as an indie rocker in his 20s was playing guitar in a band, motionless, head down and staring at his shoes, and the song was about Chevrolet, and hook was “are you ready?”

Last night’s dream: La Lechera reminded me that several years ago she made a movie that we were both in. We wore cool vintage dresses and walked around a city, went to shows, and then hung at a beach and talked about feminism and underground culture.

i dreamed i was in the year... about 2043 or so, and i was watching an episode of a tv show called "whatever happened to...?". i was watching it with an angry twentysomething white boy who yelled at the tv through the whole episode. the episode in question was called "whatever happened to... transgender?" the angry white boy was mad at that, he said "transgender isn't a noun, it's an adjective!" all kinds of trivial nonsense like that. i wanted to watch the show. i couldn't hear it with his yelling over how wrong it was all the time. it seemed ok to me. pete davidson was on there, i thought he was good. he looked good. i hadn't expected him to age that well. and there were some people on there labelled in chyrons as "former transgender". i didn't hear anything they said. the twenty-something white boy yelled over everything they had to say.

the point of the show wasn't to say what actually happened to transgender. it was to appeal to people who asked themselves the same question, and then to tell them back the things they remembered. it seemed basically ok to me, what they said, it didn't seem terribly wrong. they got the basic stuff right, gender is not the same as anatomy, non-binary, stuff like that. they said "there are even some transgenders today", and they showed a club with people who, i mean... they didn't look like any of the people i knew but you know, a lot changes in 20 years.

the boy got really mad and yelled a lot about what had happened to trans people and used words like "atrocity" and "genocide" and when i tried to talk to him he said i was "transphobic" and that he didn't owe me an explanation or a justification. and i had to admit that i used to say stuff like that a lot. it was fair enough, i figured. then i left and went to a sketch grocery store where they didn't have any produce except for star fruit. i've never eaten star fruit. i wonder how it tastes.

I had a date with a girl who was attractive and had a compatible personality. I asked myself, why isn’t she taken? Turns out she spontaneously morphs into being two inches tall sometimes. Was this something I could live with?

It was the early afternoon on a hot, sunny, Halloween day and I was driving with a date to a costume party. We approached a large house, which was raised up on stilts. Underneath there was a concrete pad with a scattering of picnic tables and people milling about - some in costume, some not. We got out of the car and who should greet us but the owner of the house - Chaki! "Hey guys, this is Doug! He used to be my roommate!" He introduced himself to my date, as well as his rat terrier, Tip-Tip, who she was instantly enamored of.

Cue a flashback sequence within the dream in which, decades ago, Chaki's previous house had burned down in a fire. I had reached out to him and given him a place to crash until he got on his feet, much to my original roommate's ire. He ended up staying for several months, and there was a dream montage of memorable moments.

Back under the house, I found a Dutch garage rock compilation on one of the picnic tables, I noticed that side B featured a cut by a band called the Architects, but sometimes when I looked back at the jacket, their name was the Scientists (this is not related to any real-world bands of those names). I was excited to see this, and put it on the phonograph. Everybody was happy and danced around.

When the song was over, Chaki's ladyfriend and apparent schedule-keeper, informed him that it was now time for everyone to go to the pool. Chaki showed up wearing a towel as a cape and carrying Tip-Tip. "Well," he said with a devilish grin, "do you guys want to swim in my luxury pool...or my toilet pool?!" This disgusted my date, who couldn't seem to tell if it was a joke. "Uggggh, you're not serious?" "Yeah," said Chaki. "Usually it's just me and Tip-Tip!" Then he made an even crazier face and stuck out his tongue and waggled it around. This made my date giggle, and, now in on the joke, she said "Oh no! Tip-Tip!"

Our brains are connection machines, and now every time the word "pool" comes to mind I'm just one hop from "toilet pool"

“Oh no! Tip-Tip!”

dying

I was partnered at work with a well-known ILXer and found myself desperate to impress them.

We were sent to a conference in Liverpool and flew there (from London!).

On the plane we were making fun of The Guardian’s rebrand. It had been rebranded as “The Monday Guardian” even though it came out seven days a week.

I had a really good joke about Whizzer and Chips that I wanted to make but the ILXer couldn’t hear it. We were in a noisy taxi now. He suggested that we stop the taxi and break into someone’s house where it would be quieter and he could hear the joke.

I was nervous but we found an empty house and smashed the front door. I told the joke and the ILXer left, unamused. I ran after him, but it turned out the house owner was still upstairs and called the police. I blacked out.

I woke up surrounded b police outside the house. One of the police said “You went into a rage, broke your leg, and have been in a coma for two months.” I lifted up my trouser leg - my leg wasn’t broken.

Ok but who is the well known ilxer who suggested breaking into someone’s house?

ok but what was the joke

I think you should be more interested in the break in aspect, you know, considering your…difficulties

The joke I can’t remember… I think it may have been the idea of a joke rather than a joke itself.

The person I can remember but will never reveal (as it feels a bit non-consensual, also I am chicken)

it's ned

I had a dream in which i was sitting beside budo jeru having a conversation.

I should make it clear i do not know budo jeru, nor have i ever interacted with him/her/they on ilx.
Also budo is never seen in my dream. They are sitting beside me and out of my view. I dont know how i know it is budo jeru.

I am showing budo an old copy of a straight no chaser mag with a picture of Gilles Peterson on the cover (although, when i wake up i realise it is actually a picture of Martin Freeman, as are all other Gilles Peterson appearances in the dream)

I say "He was everywhere back then." And i pull out several more issues all with Gilles Peterson ( Martin Freeman) on the cover.

Then i say something about Gilles being a skinny little guy with red hair. And i feel Budo tense up. O no. Is he a red head? Is he offended?

We are now walking in the snow side by side. We approach a woman and two small children. They are dressed in pure white designer suits. Their skin is marble white. She is wearing a boyar hat.

Behind them is a simple smallish set of roman columns. Gilles Peterson walks towards us. He is also in a white designer suit. His hair is a quite large but very unkempt pompadour. His face has a greyish colour and bulges at odd places in odd shapes. Like a botox nightmare.

He begins to levitate.

He moves in the air so his body is horizontal. He begins to turn as if on a rotisserie.

And then drops to the ground. We stand over him and budo jeru nudges him with his foot. Gilles seems lifeless.

"Looks like he's had some work done," budo comments.

And i woke up needing a pee and was laughing so hard as i walked to the bathroom that i banged my head quite hard on a lamp.

Like it.

Pamela Anderson is leading a halftime sports discussion roundtable with Anna Karina (who appears in black and white), Deion Saunders, and Tony Toni Tone

20+ years later I go back to a church where I got shot during… something? Like a youth group activity or a choir event. Only it sort of morphs into an high school party memory as a cop is pouring out my 750 of vodka after I’ve been shot twice in the leg with a .22. Still definitely at the church though.

At the… reunion… I confront the guy who shot me, we’ve all known he did it and just never said anything to the cops at the time? The shooter was a real person and he was cool at the time.

was at a pub with like half a dozen ILM posters, i don't remember exactly who but it was all people i was meeting for the first time. the subject of our favorite post-punk bands came up and i mentioned Magazine and there was like a record scratch moment and then i got laughed out of the room, apparently everyone else present thought they were a terrible band. i left in an inconsolable state thinking that i would never be able to post on ILX again out of embarrassment

'Magazine?' ha, uh yeah no
SMH

Last night I wrote e short story called “the trophy wife” and I showed it to my crush and she was very impressed

My irl days are so fantastically pleasant, I walk the dog, I go to the gym, I eat lunch, I work at the computer all afternoon, I make dinner, I have a pint around the corner, I watch something with my boyfriend— idyllic and boring and perfect.

My nights have these dreams that are so increasingly convoluted and vivid that I struggle with “keeping things straight” reality-wise. The bucolic lunch I had with my brother yesterday seems less-real than the job I had last night doing a large buy of cocaine for a Trump party, at which DJT strangely got stabbed, at I was required to take the fall for it, and they filmed several videos of me threatening DJT before they removed the knife, and I was tasked with ensuring every attendee had exactly as much cocaine as they desired, and I was paying for everything with $25,000 USD bills (which I’d never seen before and I’m sure don’t exist), it was some weird Vonnegut dream and I’m struggling to recover from it

They used to exist, but they were only used for bank transfers between Federal Reserve banks before electronic transfer was invented.

I just checked, and I was wrong--$10,000 and $100,000 bills for bank transfers did exist, but not $25,000.

Was hanging out with Xi Jinping, he was really nice.

I was travelling through London on a floating chair, getting increasingly stressed about a train home i was running late for. People from the hotel were offering me cold food packages to take home. I had a suitcase that was leaking money onto the pavement.

I was somehow the producer (or someone else in charge, but not the director) of a mockumentary about a group of people trying to make a 'Happy Days' reboot. There was panic on the set when we realised we didn't have the rights to the theme song. Also there was a huge snowstorm in whatever dream city I was in so getting around to meeting different people involved in this thing was really complicated.

A few nights ago: I watched a Jean-Luc Godard film that included a long shot made by attaching a camera to the top of a tree and dropping the tree down a mile-deep canyon, slowly turning end-over-end. I was amazed by this innovation in filmmaking and ran to tell someone (I think my wife) to come watch this scene on tv (I think on the Criterion Channel).

Last night: I was on a temporary job in New Jersey and someone gave me a ticket to see Thelonious Monk playing at The Stone in NYC. I went into the city and was mind-blown that The Stone was the size of a city block, luxurious and lit-up, with at least a dozen theatres/live music venues under its roof. At first I couldn't see Monk's name on the marquee, but then I turned the block and there it was on the main marquee, half a block long. It was thrilling...but then I thought "how old IS Monk...?" and woke up.

last night I took gabapentin for sleep and this morning dreamed about a juvenile albino tree sloth that needed my help and was really scared of cats.. it spoke a little but not chatty
I gave it some monterey jack cheese