Unusual news dispatches from Australia: An occasional thread

A man who filmed himself masturbating while driving at 150km/h on the Stuart Highway has been fined more than A man who filmed himself masturbating while driving at 150km/h on the Stuart Highway has been fined more than $2000 and sentenced to two months' jail.000 and sentenced to two months' jail.

Of course, the journalist could not resist saying that he received a stiff sentence.

Eww, is that a YouTube link?

Er no it's safe to click, you have my word.

KILLER t-shirt, bro.

4.9kg of marijuana!

They should have prosecuted him for wearing that shirt as well. I suppose that at least it's not foil embossed. And is he carrying a spare pair of jeans? Why? On second thoughts, I don't want to know...

Dubbo doctor in hot water for posing as prostitute on YouTube

3 months hard time for first time 18 year old stupid tagger girl

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,24997425-421,00.html

A woman accused of performing a sexual act on a man when he crashed in Darwin's rural area is outraged at the allegation

The photo caption states that the story was 'blown out of proportion'.

yeesh, just move on already tania zaett- oh.

oh man, too good:

No oral sex, says ute crash waitress

http://www.ntnews.com.au/images/uploadedfiles/editorial/pictures/2009/10/12/Allyson-White.jpg

Allyson White said the standout burn mark left by her seatbelt across her chest was proof the claims of "amorous activities" with the driver were not true.

"I was not sucking his d*** - and it's pretty obvious that wasn't the case ... you only have to look at the mark on my chest," she said.

"Clearly I had my seatbelt on, so it's impossible that I'd be leaning over sucking his d*** unless he is hung like a donkey or I've got a f****** rubber neck.

"If it was true I'd just cop it sweet and think 'how embarrassing, I got caught sucking someone's d***' - but it is not true and that's what is p****** me off.

"It didn't happen like that at all - he was just going too fast."

http://www.ntnews.com.au/images/uploadedfiles/editorial/pictures/2009/10/12/car-crash.jpg

Even the unnamed driver's statement to police had no hints of any fellatio taking place.

"I don't understand where that story has come from," she said.

"It may have looked bad when police first arrived as my girls were hanging out all over the place. I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs so they probably just assumed I was a sex worker or something and he'd already paid me.

"But $5 is a bit cheap for a head job."

Ms White, 34, said she had been at the Howard Springs Tavern celebrating a friend's birthday when they decided to go back to a friend's place in Humpty Doo.

the 'girls' are barely under control there as it is - sudden impact probably wouldn't do much for her level of composure

they decided to go back to a friend's place in humpty fuckin didn't.

i brought up this thread to tell people in pub this imopententr news strryo (one visint g from kondond)
friend took phoen and started clickign back etc
confusions reigned