things people only say in movies

"you're not as dumb as you look!"

"we got company."

"that's so crazy it just might work!"

i heard someone say #1 just the other day, sorry

I've got a baaaaad feeling about this.

people don't actually say that in movies, unless they're making fun of ppl who say that in movies

I mean the just so crazy one

"you're wrong...DEAD WRONG"

"you're not as dumb as you look!"

my dad says this often

"it's quiet. too quiet."

"come with me if you wanna live!"

"Just try to get some rest"

"this isn't a movie!"

"it's my/your/our destiny"

"Alright, let's MOVE, people! MOVE!"

"Fuck me? Fuck me in hell, pal. Fuck me in hell."

*in calm voice as accelerating through traffic in a busy intersection and approaching a ramp in an expensive vehicle*

"Hold on"

"You ain't seen NOTHING yet!"

"IT IS WRITTEN"

"Let's split up. We can cover more ground that way."

"What's Plan B??!!!????!"

Ruuuuunnnnnnn!

"prepare to die"

"i've got a bad feelin' about this"

"i AM the law"

"See you in hell"

(about to be killed by someone whose back is to the camera)

"You!"

"Don't you die on me!"

aww, he died right on him.

Bruce: C'mon, I mean what are the odds of two of us plummeting to our death on our very first jump?

Mark: 10 million to 1.

Scott: I'm not gonna make it! I'm not gonna make it! I'm not gonna make it!!

Dave: You *are* gonna make it. And do you wanna know why you're gonna make it?

Scott: Why?

Dave: Cuz I'm jumpin' with ya. Remember our pact?

Scott: Yeah.

Dave: You're not gonna die on me. You're not gonna die on me. You're not gonna die on me. See ya fellas; we're goin' together.

[Scott and Dave jump.]

Scott and Dave: Ahhhhh!!

[splat. A couple seconds later another splat]

Bruce: Oh. He died on him. He died right on him. He died right on his own twin brother.

(about to be killed by someone whose back is to the camera)

"You!"

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Monday, January 19, 2009 11:46 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

or alternately

"You??"

"we've got blood on our hands"

"To the [police headquarters, conglomerate HQ, etc.], and fast! I'll explain everything on the way."

to a cabbie:

"and step on it!"

"Men-dozzzzzzzaahhhhhhh!"

"You can't prove that, cop!"

^^^punctuated with a spit

In old gangster movies:

Gat. Frail. Gams. Pal. Sister. Padre. Hoodlum.

"Forget it, Jake: it's Chinatown."

"you see, it's going to be like this. My brother was killed by the military, and you're ex-military and I don't like the military and I'm going to take it out on you just like the military took it out on my brother after he ...[waffles on for long enough for partner/girlfriend/passing SWAT team to swoop in and foil dastardly plan]"

"we have to land this plane in the Hudson. It's our only hope."

As the events of last week proved, life imitates bad fiction.

to a cabbie:

"and step on it!"

― henry s, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 00:13 (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"Follow that car!"

cowering villain: "do it!"

enraged protagonist: "no. see, if I pulled this trigger, I'd be just like you. and I'm not like you."

alternately...

fifth business: "don't do it! if you pull that trigger, you'll be no better than him."

"he's plotting to destroy the world"

not yet, at least.

You know... we're not so different, you and I.

do you think in real life anyone's ever been cornered and about to be shot so he squeezes his eyes tight and then hears a loud bang and then whaaat he's not dead so he tentatively opens his eyes and sees the would-be-killer standing there with a shocked expression and then the WBK falls to the ground and then the would-be-victim refocuses his eyes and there, in the background, is his partner, holding up a still-smoking gun?

^yes

"I've loved you since the moment I first saw you"

(in context, usually means the day before)

"We haven't much time."

oh, and (insert character name)...thanks"

I was going to say this one. In real life people apologetically thank others in a much more bumbling garbled way.

"what I'm SAYING is that we gotta get the hell out of this goddamn boat in the next 10 minutes or every single one of us is gonna be gutting fish in heaven CAPTAIN"

x-post Tuomas I'd say sometimes yes

"we're in"

"Men-dozzzzzzzaahhhhhhh!"

au contraire

x-post Tuomas I'd say sometimes yes

Oh, it's never happened to me at least. I've always thought this is one of the most artificial-feeling cliches in movie dialogue.

"what I'm SAYING is that we gotta get the hell out of this goddamn boat in the next 10 minutes or every single one of us is gonna be gutting fish in heaven CAPTAIN"

hahaha I can hear every single one of Harrison Ford's characters saying this.

there's when the hero and a bunch of people are chased and the partner is wounded and tells the hero that he will stay behind and hold the persons who chase them in a desperate but heroic move so that the hero and the other persons can escape. usually, the hero doesn't agree at first but he has to admit it's the only sensible thing to do so the partner is left lying on the ground with a tiny gun and only delays the enemies for 5 seconds...

"I don't think I can hold on much longer" (dude in T2 with detonator, but other movies as well)

"Saaaay, what's the big idea?"

http://www.mediazine.net/view/family_guy_fast_talking_high_trousers

Also, why do people rarely say goodbye properly on the telephone?

"I don't think I can hold on much longer"

I've definitely said this during long car journeys

"you're gonna get us all killed!"

"the cave??? THE CAVE???? you know I don't give a damn about the cave! all I know is we've been wandering around this godforsaken jungle for 3 days, we have no food, we have no water, and I don't see any goddamn caves!"

(possibly said by mutinous henchman who steals water supply and is later found gored to death by mystery monster

"these scars????? WHAT DID THIS???"

"AAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH"

"that did this!"

"I don't think I can hold on much longer"

I've definitely said this during long car journeys

Or during sex.

Or during sex in a long car journey

we could definitely include things people only say in p0rn movies...

"And now I have to demean myself with Ralph just to get closure with you"

"This is no job for a woman"

I've never found 'believability' a valid standard re a single action or line of dialogue. People do and say EVERYTHING.

yeah but people say and do some things far far far more in movies than would be likely in real life, eg the exact same sentences as people are detailing above.

Never let go, you hear me! NEVER LET GO!

People do and say EVERYTHING.

now you're talking like a movie character !

"NOOOOOOOO !" with the character shown from above shouting at the sky when someone just died in his (more often than her) arms.

"Do as I say and you might just stay alive"

Also, why do people rarely say goodbye properly on the telephone?

oh man, it bothers me so much when movie people just hang up the phone after telepathically agreeing that the conversation is over.

i want to hear the person on the phone start saying "oh hey one more thing..." just as they're getting hung up on.

I've never noticed this phone thing. like people hang up without saying "bye" or "thanx" or else ?

totally. they get the information they need and then just hang up.

i want to hear the person on the phone start saying "oh hey one more thing..." just as they're getting hung up on.

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Tuesday, January 20, 2009 4:02 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

watch more columbo

ah, I'll try to keep that in mind for the next movies I'll see.
funny that no actor has said to the director : you know if think my character should say bye at the end of the conversation. that would seem more REAL?

im sure they said it and the editor cut it out

"Wait here, i'll go for help"

"What the?!"

"i want your badge and your gun"

the phone thing for sure

also tuomas' thing is good

people in movies are impeccably precise about waiting for the other person to finish speaking - but if they don't, the other person always falls utterly silent upon being interrupted

in movies people lay their hearts on the line on the regular i.e. "can't you see that i need you now?" etc but that's part of movies' function, to show ways of talking and being that we don't generally have access to, to show ways of being heroic (stanislavsky would say that not talking over the top of someone else is imply being "scenic" and allowing the story to be told clearly but i think there's a kind of heroism in it too - we all aspire to be the kind of person who knows when to speak and when not to speak)

"why I oughta...!"

Tracer Hand - Yes He Can!

ha - obama today was great when the scenicness of his swearing-in broke down. first when obama was interrupted by roberts, he fell silent and waited. then when roberts flubbed his lines, obama waited patiently for roberts to say them again

"What the?!"

― Shannon Whirry & the Bad Brains, Tuesday, January 20, 2009 12:17 PM (9 hours ago) Bookmark

a) I say this all the time, and b) it is spelled "What th-?"

"whaaaa?!"

Dog barking
"I think he wants to tell us something!"
"What is it buddy?"
"Arf!"
"I think he want us to follow him!"

To be fair, I have that last conversation about the dog in my household fairly often, because he always wants us to do SOMETHING

In real life, when someone asks another person a serious question, does anyone actually answer the question by starting to tell an odd anecdote that will only by the end reveal its relevance to question asked?

You know, it's funny you mention this. You see, one year when I was a kid -- I think this would have been around 1987 or so -- all I wanted for Christmas was a Laser Tag set. They'd been advertising them like crazy, and I'd talked to a few other kids about them, and I could just imagine Christmas day, all the neighborhood kids running through the snow playing an epic game of Laser Tag. And I wasn't disappointed, at first, because I did get the Laser Tag set -- one gun and one sensor. Thing is, nobody else did, which made my set completely useless. All I could do was put it across the room and do target practice. I even tried strapping it around the dog and laser-tagging her, but she'd just run up to me smiling and lick my face, so it wasn't much of a challenge.

So here I'd gotten this great and relatively expensive gift, the kind of thing that takes some real wheedling to convince your parents is worth it, and the whole thing's a huge disappointment, which probably didn't leave my parents feeling very good, either. At some point my dad asked me about it -- asked why I wasn't out playing with this expensive new toy the way I'd said I'd surely be. And I had to admit to him that it wasn't much good, because none of my friends had gotten their own sets. He nodded like he understood, but I could tell he was probably a little annoyed, especially after I'd spent weeks talking about how everyone was going to have one and how much fun we'd all have.

But he just says, "Look. I know I've told you a few different stories from when I was a child, most of them having to do with hyenas. But have I ever told you about the warthogs? You see, every now and then an angry warthog would somehow wander into the village, and let me tell you, when a warthog is confused and threatened, you do not want to mess with it. Now, one spring this happened on a holiday, when everyone was home preparing meals, and all the mothers shouted for all the kids to run in from the streets. For an entire hour, we all stayed in our houses -- nobody went outside at all, so the main road through the village looked like something out of a western. Except for this warthog running up and down, getting angrier and angrier, trying to find its way back out of the village! Now a few people across the road tried throwing things at the warthog, to drive it away, and one fellow even tried shooting at it, and missed -- but this just drove the thing even more nuts, until we were afraid it might start charging at the houses. So we all started asking ourselves" -- and here my father took a long, contented sip of his egg nog and muted the television, growing more involved in his story -- "we started asking ourselves, how do you lure a warthog off a road? And your grandmother said -- we have a saying, how do I translate it . . . when a donkey isn't smart, he looks for the green color, you see, but what he doesn't realize is that the valley is too steep!" And then my father laughed a whole lot over some element of this that was either lost in translation or you just had to be there for either way.

Now I don't know if the donkey is me or the warthog -- I'm pretty sure the "green color" is the Laser Tag set -- but I think the moral of the story is that if there were a movie about my dad talking to 10-year-olds, there would probably be several anecdotes about wild animals, mostly hyenas.

did anyone read all that

You've never backed down from anything in your life, s1ocki, now READ

I believe every word of it.

it's worth it, slockster!

You know, it's funny you mention this. You see, one year when I was a kid -- I think this would have been around 1987 or so -- all I wanted for Christmas was a Laser Tag set. They'd been advertising them like crazy, and I'd talked to a few other kids about them, and I could just imagine Christmas day, all the neighborhood kids running through the snow playing an epic game of Laser Tag. And I wasn't disappointed, at first, because I did get the Laser Tag set -- one gun and one sensor. Thing is, nobody else did, which made my set completely useless. All I could do was put it across the room and do target practice. I even tried strapping it around the dog and laser-tagging her, but she'd just run up to me smiling and lick my face, so it wasn't much of a challenge.

this might be the saddest thing i've ever read

Some overlap here with this golden oldie thread

"lolz I've always wanted to say that :))))"

So help me God, I'll....

"No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!"