Big Brother Hopefuls OH THE HUMANITY

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Surely other people have seen this? Perhaps sat there for hours addicted to unedited unspoilt stupid stupid people. For example:

Annoying spiky haired office twunt: "I'm not going to pretend to be gay, or that I get on with people or anything like that. I'm just going to be myself. And I know there's something big brother wants more than anything else. [fiddles with trousers off-camera] That I'm not shy. [camera pans down] There."

This was an ONGOING THEME.

― Graham, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ne life-as-a-car-crash answers.

― Graham, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yes they ARE all twunts but we'll still all become addicted to it, you mark my words!

― katie, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

[E4 is showing unedited BB audition tapes from 2am-4pm, if you're wondering what this is about]

― Graham, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Which I really want to see. But do I have E4? Would I see it anyway cos I'm at work? NO. I CANNOT WAIT TILL NEW BIG BROTHER!!!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

O Narinder, Narinder, COME BACK!!!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You're being ironic, right?

I can't believe Channel 4 set up a helpline for people who felt a yawning gap in their lives come the end of BB. The yawning gap, alas, was not the lack of krazy kuddly kunts on BB but the sad vacuum in their sleb obsessed dribbling lives that makes them addicted to this in the first place; symptom, not cause.

That's better. I wonder whether the new breed will shag?

― Nathan Barley, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You work all night?

― Graham, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I watched an hour of it at the weekend and was all set to watch another but it just started repeating itself. My flatmate came in and was taking the piss and I was thinking how funny it would be if I suddenly appeared on the screen.

I consider these tapes to be an important socio-historical document.

― N., Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ooh, ooh, Dastoor video description U+K.

(was it similar to the above?)

― Graham, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

has the "how not to get on bb" show been on yet. should be a larf riot. my bb sadness quotient: a google for alantrewartha brings up a hit on talkbigbrother uk bulletin board (still registered!)

― Alan Trewartha, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Was k-rub, ft. producers blabbing about how poorly they were doing their job and how abitrary their decisions were.

― Graham, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think they should just pick applicants' names out of a hat.

― MarkH, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Or just put in all the ones that came up with rhymes and songs about why they should be on big brother.

― Graham, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

MY NAME'S NICKY DASTOOR I COME FROM JAMAICA / WHEN I DO MY THING THE CROWD GO BANANAS.

― N., Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think Graham was looking for RHYMES.

― Emma, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And then you took your clothes off?

― Graham, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

SO AM I

― N., Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

WHEN I QUIT WITH MY HIPS YOU SLIP INTO A TRANCE

― Graham, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am not surprised they binned N. as he is always shouting.

― Emma, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And getting hs football song lyrics all muddled up.

― Jonnie, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That was on purpose for comic effect and you know it.

― N., Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I would have thought it was but no-one knows just what to expect when the N. machine is in full effect.

― Jonnie, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That's just what I said on my video! STILL they didn't take me. I don't know what they wanted - the moon on a stick probably.

Do the late night E4 showings feature nudity?

― N., Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No nudity, but occasional masturbation.

― Nathan Barley, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Terrific!

― N., Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

See here if that kinda shit floats your boat.

― Nathan Barley, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No, because that is Elizabeth Woodcock.

― N., Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My idea was to go on the show, wait for the absolute latest possible moment before they frisk you, then quadruple drop some Mitsubishi's. Would've made great telly.

― Lynskey, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I wanted to go in and murder them all live on E4 while dancing around for the cameras and laughing. How famous would you be? Wahey.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What would you like your tabloid nickname to be in such a scenario Ronan?

― Jonnie, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ronan the Ripper, obviously

― Lynskey, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If you killed them using pillows, it could 'Big Smother'.

― Nathan Barley, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Pillows? Pah! If they were anything like the contestants in past years I'd beat them to death with the wooden spoon. ALso Geordie voiceover guy would need to be beaten.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

BAD PAD

― N., Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Imagine if they later discovered that it wasn't Ronan on a killing spree at all but an evil lookalike then it would be a Fitzy Up DO YOU SEE?

― Emma, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Grrr, I'm sure they could make an equally good hammers pun

― Ronan, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Or equally bad even.

― Emma, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Do you all still watch these things over there? I don't think anyone even watches Survivor here anymore, much less Big Brother (if it's still on in the US?). BUT, I'm willing to bet yours is more entertaining. I'm also sure there's been plenty of discussions about US vs. UK(?) reality TV on ILE before that I hadn't noticed.

― Dan I., Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Second season of BB last year was better than the first one. This year's is about to start. Survivor is on at the moment but I don't know anyone who watches it.

― N., Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have *never* watched these stupid reality shows. Not one. I take great pride in this. I do enjoy The Osbournes though.

I also have never seen Titanic and am very proud of this.

― S., Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sounds like they should just sit us all down in a pub and videotape us complaining about the show. Or has this been suggested?

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

US format of BB looked k-rub. evictions every TWO weeks. no tasks. little booze. awful jerry springer style set-to's between the contestants.

― Alan T, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That scary genius kid with really weird hair who was on Wogan years and YEARS ago and who's now had a sex change and stuff and still has really weird hair wants to be on the new series. I would advise some plastic surgery to go with the chop job, frankly. How much more/less mesmerising than ILE is BB? Hard call.

― that girl Liz, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

As with Billygoat on the Troll needs food thread, I did come away from the 'How not to get on Big Brother' doc disliking the researchers/junior producers whatever. Especially that blonde girl. They seemed to have utter contempt for the applicants. That's surely our job, not theirs. At the very least, it was v.unprofessional. The head producers were OK though. The stupidest bit was when they said they rejected anyone who said they would like a career as a TV presenter. I mean DUH, based on the last two series' contestants, you're not doing your job very well then

― N., Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

[NB. I did not say I wanted to be a TV presenter. I didn't fail on any of their 'things not to do' in fact. I guess I was just too boring. Actually, I think it could have something to do with me working for a national newspaper. And the fact that I am v.borin

― N., Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

AND! All this stuff about oh leave something to the imagination dears when talking about the nudie candidates when the most crapulous contestant last year (Elizabeth) was picked because of her kit-off antics.

"We've got two posh people...but actually they are quite different"

― Tom, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I didn't fail on any of their 'things not to do' in fact

Except perhaps the 'dont tell anyone you've applied' bit.

― Tom, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

has anyone else decided to not watch big brother at all?...it'll be kinda like being in the house, but much much better.

― jel --, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

eleven months pass...

OH. THE. HUMANITY.

― Cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

DAVE MUST GO!

― Alan (Alan), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

CHRIS MUST WIN!

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

has a new series of big brother started? i watched the first two, but the second one was so bland i made sure i didn't get addicted to the third one!

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Is N applying again? Big Brother and ILE is an absolutely winning combination, I am dying for it to start this year if only for the long and crazy threads.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/B/bigbrother/index.html

― Alan (Alan), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah N's got in for certain this time.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

he's going to be forced to live in the Attic for a week first though. apparently

― Alan (Alan), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Is there gonna be a Trig Brother this year?

Can we rename it "I'm an ILXOR get me out of here?"

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

How are we going to work the Attic into Trig Brother I wonder?

Sorry Jel I am a purist.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I did not enter because you had to pay a fee (by super premium rate number) this time. Wot a swizz.

What are you on about with your Dave and Chris?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Tico, only pick pubs with an upstairs and a downstairs? Shouldn't be too hard. Anyway what attic? Heat never said anything about an attic.

Dave & Chris = common names that have not yet appeared in the house so it's about time they cropped up.

― Emma, Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't listen to N, the Channel 4 producers are making him post these things.

N and Dave aren't going to mix well I think.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

EMMA WOT A MINGER EH?

(not that Emma)

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:58 (twenty-two years ago)

N and Dave both fancy Rachel and you know it.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I am so voting N. out the first chance I get.

― Emma, Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/B/bigbrother/index.html

is where it's at.

It's gonna be the reservists in the attic, living on bread and water.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 15 May 2003 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I actually predict a LouLou.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

He'll have to stay in the Attic with Mike for weeks if you don't though, surely punishment enough.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Is Heat fallible? A question for another thread perhaps.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I sould have applied actually - they are after drop-outs.

(Does not work if you read beyond the headline)

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I am not happy about all this talk of attics etc, the Heat special said that the producers were going back to BB basics with no rich house / poor house faffing or other faffing about. It also said that the cookware is from the Nigella Lawson range, BB trivia fans.

― Emma, Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:02 (twenty-two years ago)

May 23rd is when it begins!

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:02 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/B/bigbrother/media/housemates/contestant12.gif to win

― Alan (Alan), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

HEAT ROX U R ALL GAY

― Emma, Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:04 (twenty-two years ago)

This year's housemates are really boring. Not a patch on last year's.

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I must admit that even after the poor vintage of last year's BB I'm beside myself with excitement.

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

They all look alike to me.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I am so voting N. out the first chance I get.

A wise decision.

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Alan, for some reason that picture makes me think of Rik Waller.

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I think they should put PJ back in the house.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it might be done from Sandy's pic, but I c where yr coming from

― Alan (Alan), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:08 (twenty-two years ago)

They should put his head on a stick as some kind of (ambiguous) warning. I still hate that man.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it's a shadowy Jolly Green Giant, which make me think the house will contain Ronald McDonald, Hamburgular, and the Bisto family.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Apparently Sandy has changed his surname to avoid recognition. Despite the fact I cannot remember his surname but can still remember him being an irritating twat. Also he is still a personal shopper at Selfridges. (fact courtesy of HEAT, hataz)

― Emma, Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember his surname because it was rude.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Sandy Vadgefister?

― Alan (Alan), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

What's he changed it to? Sandy Itwasntmeonbigbrother?

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Sandy Vadgefister?

It wasn't spelt that way.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Sandy Blowze-Dickle

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

It was in Heat a few weeks ago and sadly I throw away my old copies so I cannot confirm any of these rumours.

― Emma, Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I was actually wondering the other day 'wasn't there a Big Brother series around this time last year'? I look forward to huge numbers of threads from the UK people regarding their objects of hate and loathing.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:19 (twenty-two years ago)

lets all practice...

MUST GO!!!

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I loved following this from the website last year!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

His original name was Sandy Cummings btw.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw Jade with Piers Morgan on that horrible programme he does the other night.

There was a retro moment when she explained to Piers that when the tabloids offered her "250,000" she didn't know if it was more than "75 grand", and it was only when they offered her "a quarter of a million" that she realised how much money it was.

She has brown hair now if any of you care.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Jade is going to be filmed giving birth by Channel 4

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 15 May 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

NB on the Big Brother website in the bottom right there's a picture of "Book Group" lovely Anne Dudek, who I couldn't find a picture of in the crushes threads of a few months ago. Cor.

― Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 15 May 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

"Book Group" "lovely" more like.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 15 May 2003 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

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