o~O/////-¡Nat'l Phone Pest Day!-\\\\\O~o

Yes!!!! Lucky you!!!! You have chosen to report for work on NATIONAL PHONE PEST DAY!!!! O happy day, when you, hapless small businessman will have to spend more time to-day answering unsolicited tele-marketing cold callers on thee telephone than you ever will doing the work that allegedly pays yer wages!!!! You already have insurance that you are reasonably happy w/? You don't want or need a closed-circuit television installation? You don't have any unpaid debtors that you need chasing up (for a "small" commission, naturally)? Previous attempts to get your business rates reduced have led nowhere? You don't want to advertise in the program for another bloody local sporting event which is
CoMPLeTeLY
uNCoNNeCTeD
W/
THe
NaTuRe
oF
YouR
BuSiNeSS?
Well, (insane manick laughter thru cavernous reverb)
WE DON'T CARE!!!!
And furthermore, we mean to offer you all these services again & again & again, just in case you change your mind!!!!!! And if you don't change yer mind, then HA HA HA, this is your well-deserved punishment for being so mean as not to give us your money in the first place!!¡¡!!¡¡
Remember - we are the sh¡t,
& J00 R TH4 W4LL!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡
TH4 \/\//-\|_|_ T|-|/-\T \/\/3 R /-\L\/\//-\YZ T|-|R0\/\/¡|\|G 0URS3L\/3_Z 4G4¡|\|5T!@#~
0|\|3 D4Y ¡T \/\/¡LL STIX0R, J00 \/\/¡LL S33, L@|\/|3R!@#!@#!@#!@#~
Naturally enough, we will ensure that all our phone operators sound like attractive & friendly young wimmin, so you, stoopid sad old m@le f@rt that you are, will refrain out ov misplaced politeness from telling them to FuX0R OFF & CeaSe ThiZ eNDLeSS HaRaSSMeNT!¡!¡!¡!¡ Of course it will amuse you mightily to listen to the blatant bare-faced lies our operators will tell you as they tout for your business - "Hello, I called back in November, and you said your insurance was due for renewal about now, and that I should call you back to arrange a quote" (NB - 1/ our insurance is not due for renewal 2/ yeah, like I'm going to insure myself w/a company that instructs its sales force to lie in order to get business [3/ yes, I know I did actually sign up w/an elecktricity utility supplier that instructed it's sales force to lie in order etc etc sigh])
GAH!!!! *D*3*4*T*H* TO T3L3|\/|4RK3T¡|\|G!!!!!!!
Hello, can I speak to the owner or proprietor please?
Hello, can I speak to the owner or proprietor please?
Hello, can I speak to the owner or proprietor please?
Hello, can I speak to the person who deals with insurance?
Hello, can I speak to the owner or proprietor please?
Hello, can I speak to the owner or proprietor please?
Hello, can I speak to the owner or proprietor please?
Hello, can I speak to the owner or proprietor please?
Hello, can I speak to the owner or proprietor please?
Hello, can I speak to the owner or proprietor please?
H3ll0, c4n ¡ sp33k t0 th4 p3rs0n wh0 d34lz wif j0r 4dv3rt¡z¡ng pl33z?
Hello, can I speak to the owner or proprietor please?
Hello, can I speak to the owner or proprietor please?
Hello, can I speak to the owner or proprietor please?
(etc etc etc)