Travis the Rampaging Celebrity Chimp Has Been Shot

Stamford breathes a Xanax-laced sigh of relief

"Why does it always rain on me?"

sounds like the poor bastard had a "No! I CANNOT be human!" epiphany

Travis' owner tried to stop the attack by stabbing the chimp with a butcher knife.

In a newspaper article at the time, police said the chimp, then 10, was toilet trained. He reportedly dressed himself, ate at the table and drank wine. He could use a computer and remote control.

amazing stories

the being shot and then followed to living quarters bit is pure Bad Santa

Travis' owner tried to stop the attack by stabbing the chimp with a butcher knife.

You always hurt the one you love. The one you shouldn't hurt at all.

I’ve been doing this a long time and have never seen anything this dramatic on a living patient.

Captain Conklin said that charges against Ms. Herold were unlikely.

“We’ll certainly speak to the experts and the prosecutors,” he said, “but we truly hope that there are no charges. It’s a modern-day tragedy.”

surely it's the ancient, time honoured tragedy of the human condition

Not funny

The story, I mean

old-time tragedy: guy becomes king, learns that queen is actually his own mother
modern-day tragedy: Travis the Celebrity Chimp tears off your face

That was funny

Sandra: O Gods! Since I first wept at Delphi
For all the torments duly predicted
I have come to believe that all
Shall augur well. I have, you see,
Taken no man into my house,
No crazed oaf who shall destroy me
Or my friends. Instead, a lowly beast
You say, but a dutiful one, strong-boned Travis,
A chimpanzee, my partner, and surely
The answer to the oracle's dire claims.
Let us together enter the house
And celebrate this triumph
With a cup of scented tea.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/19/chimp.attack/index.html

Herold told reporters at her home that she and the chimp slept together

gross

and that she considered him like a son.

wait, that's still gross

Apeipus

oed-ape-us

If only Momus were still here, "Travis" might be fully written

Travis’s social skills included drinking wine from a stemmed glass, dressing and bathing himself and using a computer.

FYI, the 55 yr old human victim (Chandra Nash) lost her eyes, nose, jaw and hands. And still lives. And in the NYT: "Ms. Nash’s injuries were so horrific — Ms. Herold told a 911 dispatcher that her pet was eating Ms. Nash — that the hospital was providing counseling to the staff members who treated her. Mr. Orstad said some members of the team that initially treated Ms. Nash had already sought counseling."

So horrific the ER staff needed brain care.

No longer quite sure how I'd stage it, or whether I'd want to

I mean Polymestor's one thing, but...

It'd have to be done without a Nash re-appearance. 99% of the gory stuff happens off-stage anyway.

(Why am I thinking about this so much?)

chimpanzees are the most disgusting savages

holy fuck. jaw & eyes hadn't even entered into my mental consideration/fleeing-from-consideration.

why am I laughing at this

You're good at getting into character. Would you like to be one of my actors?

sure

SciAm article forwarded to the monkeywire email list:

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=why-would-a-chimpanzee-at

...So why would an allegedly acclimated chimpanzee turn on a human—especially one whom he had known? Travis was reportedly suffering from Lyme disease, caused by a tick-borne bacterium and known to cause fatigue, joint problems and mental difficulties—including trouble focusing and poor memory in humans. Some have suggested that the attack was spurred by Xanax, a prescription drug used to treat anxiety disorders in humans, with side effects that can—but rarely—include depression, confusion and problem behavior. Travis’ owner claims to have given him a Xanax-laced tea the day of the attack.

To find out more about chimpanzee attacks, we spoke with Frans de Waal, lead biologist from the Yerkes National Primate Research Center. He is affiliated with the Living Links Center at Emory University in Atlanta where he is a professor of psychology, and is also author of The New York Times notable book of the year, Our Inner Ape...

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Nikki817 at 04:08 AM on 02/20/09

THERE IS NO WISDOM HERE, HELLO, HELLO! THE WOMAN LOST BOTH OF HER EYES, NOT TO MENTION HER FACE. I BELIEVE THAT THIS WAS A DELIBERATE ATTEMPT OF MURDER ON THE OWNER'S PART, AND SHE NEEDS TO SPEND THE REST OF HER LIFE IN JAIL OR GET THE DEATH PENALTY!!!

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Nikki817 at 04:14 AM on 02/20/09

The victim lost both of her eyes, not just her face. The owner needs to be arrested immediately and charged with attempted murder. She should get life in prison or the death penalty. The owner is a very sick person.

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Nikki817 at 04:18 AM on 02/20/09

You people are sick. The victim lost both of her eyes; hello, hello! These animals are NOT stuffed toys. The owner is a sick person and I believe she deliberately drugged this animal in order to provoke an attack against the victim. Gorillas, chimps, etc. aren't "friendly critters" sick people!!!! The owner deserves life in prison or the death penalty.

sigh

Interesting article, though. Cheers.

she's really hung up on the eye thing.

and saying hello hello!

xanax + chimp = bad idea?

chimp + face = bad idea

lolz dan otm

An eye for an eye leaves a chimp blind.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/88/Alloallotitle.jpg/280px-Alloallotitle.jpg

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/03/09/international/i090252D29.DTL&tsp=1

The owner has speculated that the chimp was trying to protect her and attacked the woman because she had changed her hairstyle, was driving a different car and was holding a stuffed toy in front of her face to get the chimp's attention.

er... mission accomplished?

Darn, I thought he was doing it for Jodie Foster.

old-time tragedy: guy becomes king, learns that queen is actually his own mother, kills self
modern-day tragedy: Travis the Celebrity Chimp tears off your face, gets shot

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090317/ap_on_re_us/chimpanzee_attack_lawsuit

these ppl do not understand tragic closure

jason: fuck u medea, i sue
medea: i have a good lawyer, bitch
jason: we'll see about that
medea: also he is the king, ttyih

Nash, 55, lost her hands, nose, lips and eyelids and may be blind and suffering brain damage after the attack.

i think she'll need round the clock care for whatever remains of her life. she might want "tragic closure" but she hasn't got it.

I think it is perfectly fair for the chimp's owner to be financially responsible for the victim's medical bills, so I have no issues with this lawsuit.

I feel really really sad reading about that poor woman's condition. It sounds like she's in even worse shape than the first reports described.

http://www.scapegoatsanctuary.org/travis%202.jpg

That's almost as bad as

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_2qPRxDxARm4/R1eGjBl1MgI/AAAAAAAABuY/AC40sbVJZJ0/s400/lennon-chapman.jpg

22:00 MY MONKEY BABY 65 MINS
Tuesday 2 June, Channel 4

There are around 15,000 monkeys living in people's homes in America. For some owners, the human-like qualities of monkeys turn them into members of the family, as a preferred option to kids

http://www.tvscoop.tv/my%20monkey%20baby.jpg

http://www.tvscoop.tv/my%20monkey%20baby2.jpg

Keep the knife handy.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

That lady!

Actually Travis the chimp came in handy bcz in April or so I was teaching abt how diseases spread and someone started some homophobic nonsense abt how gays fucked chimpanzees & started AIDS. I got to go on a rant about Travis that ended with 'now that lady's JAW is ripped off and the chimp was on XANAX at the time. Do you think a wild chimpanzee would just go around having interspecies intercourse? They'd kill before letting that happen!"

holy shitting christ, that picture of charla nash in today's Metro

holy fuck

what does that have to do with travis the rampaging celebrity chimp?

well the fact he reconstructed her face to look like the surface of the moon maybe

i don't know who you're talking about - post a picture or post about travis the rampaging celebrity chimp, please. i really got my hopes up to see this thread bumped.

<3 travis

http://www.nypost.com/rw/nypost/2009/11/11/news/photos_stories/screen-capture145609--500x380.jpg

holy fucking shit!

<3 travis

good job travis

never ban travis

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/06/10/face.transplant/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

This is pretty amazing!

when he got to the bit about "the hands didn't thrive" it gave me the first actual chill I've gotten from a news story in a long long time

ugh ugh THE HANDS DIDN'T THRIVE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZC_FzifOOew&feature=player_embedded

can I just

Sandra: O Gods! Since I first wept at Delphi
For all the torments duly predicted
I have come to believe that all
Shall augur well. I have, you see,
Taken no man into my house,
No crazed oaf who shall destroy me
Or my friends. Instead, a lowly beast
You say, but a dutiful one, strong-boned Travis,
A chimpanzee, my partner, and surely
The answer to the oracle's dire claims.
Let us together enter the house
And celebrate this triumph
With a cup of scented tea.

― there's no antivote to (country matters), Tuesday, February 17, 2009 4:36 AM (2 years ago)

missing this guy