Nervousness about leaving the house

How does one get over this?

you know the answer to this one

girl, you just step out. step out of that house, grin and say I LOVE THIS DAY.

I forgot the answer.

Abbott, when people say "What up, Boo" that's NOT what they mean.

Wear something you love that makes you feel good! Put on that favorite Tshirt and enjoy the world enjoying it. And you!

what specifically makes you nervous about leaving the house, abbott?

xanax! valium! klonopin! atavan!

Just a general dread with no rationale. xp

does it feel better when you actually do leave, or do you still have the dread?

leaving the house is popular

xpost non-agoraphobics can't understand.

I have this too, abbie. Sometimes somethin' fierce. Laurel's advice is pretty good. Sometimes I need to dress up a bit just to feel comfortable in my own home, much less venture outside. I put on a tie for a phone interview a few weeks ago, swear to God. It's whatever makes you feel ok.

hahaha

JBR, not really better, no.

I do that too, Kenan, I feel like I'm schlubbing it up if I wear jeans. I do have one of my 3 favorite t-shirts on right now. I am trying to figure out how I can convince myself to go to work.

My problem is that going to work = closing the browser window with ILX in it.

Hmmm. Take your dog with you? He needs to leave the house, right? Can you take him for a walk and then shoo him back in the front door and just lock it and leave? If that would help sort of...break through the inertia.

Hah my problem AT WORK is that going home means closing the browser window.

This job involves sitting down and waiting for someone to come in and ask for help understanding chemistry, which no one does, in a room so quiet I feel like I'm in a church (which is not a great feeling for me), for six hours. I can read and stuff but the atmosphere creeps me out eventually. Best motivation: I don't really want to let go of $55 for sitting somewhere else.

That is a good idea, Laurel.

i think my therapist would say this: you have all kinds of feelings attached to your house and that comfort zone isn't there any more when you step outside. you have to neutralize some of those dependent feelings so the inside = the outside and you don't feel any more dread over one space than you do the other.

Ooooh, JB, that's good. Very good.

taking up smoking is a good way to insure that you go outside at least a few times a day

Shhh, she just quit. Besides, who can afford it anymore?!

Yeah I think part of my problem is I just quit.

Bahaha Laurel, how did you even know that?

If you weren't going to your job, would you still not want to leave the house?

Because you said so! A while ago. I must have been reading the quitting smoking thread or something.

sorry abbott, I didn't knoooowww!

jel, oh yeah – I have some gift cards I've been wanting to cash in but the thought of leaving the house is like...'meh...maybe I'll do that another time.' Or going to the reptile-stuff store, which I normally love doing, I'm just like, 'not worth it.'

Oh, that sucks then! It could be some pre-spring ennui, I get that around this time of year.

This thread has at the very least reminded me that I need a shower and a shave. And then I'll put on a nice clean crispy shirt and do WORK! Woo!

Except even that isn't so simple. Here's what I'll ACTUALLY do: stand in a scalding shower for nearly an hour, because no one else is showering this time of day, so I don't feel guilty about using all the hot water. Shave and do my hair way more meticulously than is necessary even if I WAS going outside. Walk around naked and air dry. Post on ILX for 30 minutes more. As a last resort, have a quick wank. THEN out on a crisp shirt and do some work. We're looking at a couple hours here, minimum.

SUGGEST BAN (the goggles do nothing)

Effexor fixed that part of my brain in high school when I had to drop out rather than face "leaving my house" every day :P

Abbot, do you have a husband or boyfriend? - If you did you probably would get out of the house and you have to get out of the house to get a boyfriend...

hey abbott, can you take your dog WITH you to the job? i mean, if no one's round or whatever, maybe you can sneak him and he can keep you company?

also, i had this for like 2 months when i got to the US - until i got a job - where i just couldn't leave the house on my own without spending several hours talking myself into it.

I have heard that cessation of daily marijuana smoking can herald a mild to moderate improvement in one's tolerance of the outside world and the confusing, stressful shit that goes on in it.

what if you're not a dope-smoker?

Start. Then quit.

Have you tried putting something really unpleasant inside the house? Like a ravenous tiger or something?

I deal with this mainly by not leaving the house

for days at a time

^ditto

wear headphones playing kate bush's hounds of love to remind yourself that you just know that something good is gonna happen. ambient/deep house/dub techno also gives me a beautiful feeling while walking around outside. these are the ways that i deal with this

also reading a good book can knock you out of a psycho-funk

i went off-island a couple of weeks ago for the first time in 14 months and it felt good. it felt weird and invigorating to be on the mainland again. they have these things called "Big Macs" there and the stores are REALLY huge.

so, you know, i hate leaving the house, but i want to get better about it.

and we are moving, so i'm gonna be!

what is an agoraphobics favorite music

house music

Or going to the reptile-stuff store, which I normally love doing, I'm just like, 'not worth it.'

if it's feelings of futility, not dread, then it might help to try and re-evaluate your motivations. Why do you say it's not worth it? Because other people would not see it as an achievement? Screw them! If you wanna go to the store and have fun going to the store then do it! Even if you just look at stuff and don't buy [n.b I have no idea what really goes on at the reptile stuff store...] , it doesn't matter, going out and doing that and enjoying it should count as an achievement - why should anyone be a better judge than you as to what is a worthwhile way to spend yout time?

I deal with this mainly by not leaving the house
― J0hn D.

Yup. I've just moved to a place with the bloody sea practically at the bottom of my road, and I *love* the sea (it is scary and massive and foreboding and could devour you, eek) but I still can't force myself to leave the house most of the time. The outside is BAD.

I did end up leaving the house and going to work yesterday, which is good. The hilarious thing is I just got a car, too, after over a year of not having one & I am not stoked on driving anywhere.

Don't smoke weed btw. God, I would be a fucking mess if I was doing that.

this seems to happen to me whenever any of my friends has a DJ gig.. #1 nothing to wear ohno, #2 sooooo tiiiired all of a sudden, #3 i forgot something, right?, what? something!, #4 i'm totally going to feel awkward there standing around anyway.. arrgh. it's really bad b/c one of my colleagues (who is also an old friend) has a pretty popular monthly event & i hardly ever go, but it's totally different when it's at a club & not the house parties he threw back at college where i knew just about everyone..

i dunno, maybe put on some happy music to distract yourself from worrying about "must leave the house.. can't leave the house.."

I deal with this mainly by not leaving the house

― J0hn D., Wednesday, February 18, 2009 5:03 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

for days at a time

― J0hn D., Wednesday, February 18, 2009 5:03 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*like*

Seems to me necessary to be able to imagine some place outside the house that you find attractive and appealing. Not just confined to the places that are a few moments away from your door, but anywhere at all in the world that you'd enjoy going to. I'm lucky to have some very nearby places I like to go. I can walk to several of them.

`Find a way to make money by not leaving the house and enough to pay for home delivery by local supermarkets who have websites, not sure if that is universal yet. Preferably have a garden space or at least some level of outside area that isn't quite the outside world.
Manage to find a way that all banking can be done online which is a lot easier now than it was years ago. & hope that whoever is paying you is willing to make home visits should anything crop up.

Otherwise at some point you will need to get it together to get out into the outside world. Maybe you could get a silver space blanket like hoody and dark glasses and whatever else to prevent too much contact with the outside world. But you are likely to need to get from point a to point b and that normally involves some level of contact or at least interaction.

Not sure what to suggest in that case. Imagine everybody naked so that they cease to be as much of a threat to you? Find a less foreboding front door? Get some therapy, but that normally involves having to travel to get there.