Momus for a day

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Simple. If you could be one other ILXer for a day, and experience their lives and loves (and holidays in cabbage's case), who would you be and why?

― Mark C, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ally, tracer, ramosi or actually anyone who is in New York...

― gareth, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ramosi, shit, yeah - that'll do me for today. Tomorrow I shall be Emma Hamilton.

― Mark C, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not sure about this one...hmmm...I'd like to be everyone for 20 minutes.

― jel --, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Not everyone at the same time though!

― jel --, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But I have things to do tomorrow!

― Emma, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Evangeline because she's thoughtful with a cool name. (Where is Miss Creamcheesesandwich these days anyway?)

The Pinefox, because I can't pull off enigmatic and elusive myself.

Ramosi, because his New York seems like the New York you read about.

― Anna, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(This is creepy)

― Sarah, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I would like to be Hanle y. I imagine it would be like taking Acid.
Where is that kerrrrazy kid anyhow?

― Simeon, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That's okay, Emma, I'm very reliable. And clean. Do any of the things you need to do involve going into ladies' changing rooms at all?*

*Okay, PF, point taken.

― Mark C, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

anthony - i could have sex, mormonism, art and culture all day long

― Geoff, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Anna F - then she could be me.

― the pinefox, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll swap with anyone who wants to put up with Romford.

― DG, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I was thinking of going to the gym tomorrow in fact which is even better than shop changing rooms as the women are COMPLETELY NAKED! (Not in the gym, in the changing rooms).

― Emma, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll swap with anyone so they can do my exams.

― Ronan, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i am actually leaping across the ILX mind pool using you all like stepping stones. i occupy one mind after another when you click "Submit". it is dizzying and some times repulsive.

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I keep trying to live with myself, but the other tenant objects.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Anyone being me for the day today would have got up at 9.30am, contributed to ILx for an hour or so, had to disconnect the phone because of some stalker calling from London, spent a few hours sampling 80s drum sounds from Haruomi Hosono and Miharu Koshi, made a mix and posted an mp3 of an instrumental called 'Boy Being Sick' for a new Japanese film called 'Bambi Bone', gone in the cold drizzle to the local shops for a tonkatsu lunch and more supplies of Diamox for duff eye, flirted with an old girlfriend by e mail, then gone with flatmate on sardine-packed subway to a Carsten Nicolai lecture / performance at the Goethe Institute which turned out to be soothingly boring, allowing you to scribble notes for a forthcoming web essay about 'Classicism and Atrocity', then been embroiled in torrid melodrama when flatmate's lesbian friend slapped her in the interval, then met your ex, then posed for photos with some podgy fans, then gone for dinner and had semi-argument with PMT- and slap-stressed flatmate, than calmed down at favourite bar Office sipping gin and tonic and leafing through books on the graphic design of Paul Rand, then had to walk the last two stations home in the rain because the Tokyo metro shuts at 12.30, rather enjoying it.

― Momus, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

some podgy fans

Eh? Did they describe themselves as such?

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, I've always fancied Japan, but if I could swap lives with someone it would always be a woman, because it would be fascinating to see life from such a different perspective. I have met five women from the list, but I'll resist creeping them out by discussing what I'd do with their lives. Perhaps the simplest answer then is to recall that Anna is a dance music journalist, which is a fun prospect.

― Martin Skidmore, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i will be the unholy bionic combination of momus and dave q: ph34r m3! alternatively voltralex, so i can live in nyc, sf, montreal, mainhattan, etc simultaneously!

― geeta, Friday, 17 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Eh? Did they describe themselves as such?
No, they would of course use a word with at least four syllables.

― cuba libre (nathalie), Saturday, 18 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not quite sure what Ned's point is here. That my description of someone must always tally with that person's likely self-description? That it's weightist to bring the rotundity of the girls into the cameo? That I was jumping to conclusions describing them as fans?

They were girls, they were strangers, they approached asking 'Momus? [shy mumblings in Japanese]', the word 'shashin' is spoken ('photo') and a camera produced, I pretend lifelong intimacy with one of the girls while the other takes our photo, we all bow to each other and move back to mere nodding acquaintance, with shy polite smiles all round. Pretty clear, rather formulaic, quite pleasant for all concerned.

If I thought there was even the remotest chance they or anyone who knows them reads ILx, of course, I wouldn't use the word pudgy. I just wanted to demythologise the glamour of getting recognised in public by pointing out that such encounters, though sweet, are not always charged with erotic possibility.

― Momus, Saturday, 18 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

BTW, in the Merriam Webster dictionary 'podgy' links to 'pudgy' and 'pudgy' to 'chubby', which links to 'plump' and this definition:

having a full rounded usually pleasing form; 'a plump woman'.

― Momus, Saturday, 18 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

momus you are so cool

― Ron, Saturday, 18 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Momus how deep did you bow? This isn't a pervy question, but a serious one. I never bow because the degrees in bowing are very strict. I find it as silly as addressing someone with -san added to their name when talking in English.

― cuba libre (nathalie), Saturday, 18 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I guess she is called Shazuna.

― Ayako S, Saturday, 18 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

>>> "a dance music journalist, which is a fun prospect"

???

― the pinefox, Saturday, 18 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Listen, the Pinefox, I'm in computing - an analyst-programmer. Of course being a dance-music journalist is more exciting! Glamour! Free records! Meeting the stars! Free drugs! Telling people what to think! Destroying careers! (Note to Anna: please don't disillusion me, if I'm wrong.)

I used to be a sort-of comic book journalist. This was rather lower on glamour, and the 'stars' weren't. There were free comics and drugs though.

― Martin Skidmore, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry, can't really think of anyone else I would rather be for a day. Nick's out because even thinking about relentless eye pain makes me * shudder*.

― suzy, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yesterday, however, I helped make it possible for Anthony to assume the 'Momus' position for a day. Ed and I picked him up in the morning at Paddington, drove over to Camden Arts Centre to see the Atelier Van Lieshout show (very fun collective of artists from Rotterdam who build architecture-based installations, eg Sensurround red lurve room, barracks for sleeping workers, strange exercise/shower/shit/compost/ garden/bed contraption), then drove to Milton Keynes to see the Tim Noble and Sue Webster show after picking up Ed and Gareth's friend Linzi to come along. Milton Keynes is a planned city from the 60s/70s and is in fact a GIANT shopping mall, which featured heffalump fellow shoppers of the type you NEVER want to see eating soft-serve ice-cream slowly. Bought a few sandwiches, went to the gallery (Tim and Sue's work is almost always an object cobbled together that, when light is shone at it, shows T&S' profiles) and then decided we were in HELL and got o-u-t. Anthony enjoyed being driven past the squaddies in full uniform loitering outside the ENLIST NOW tent. We drove through the country back to Linzi's but stopped in a nice pub for a drink and tried the (closed) charity shops in her town. After dropping L. off, we drove back to London and stopped for a shop and a meal at Oriental City, London's Japanese etc. mall.

― suzy, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry, can't really think of anyone else I would rather be for a day.

Suziest answer ever!

(NB we love you, Suzy.)

― nabisco%%, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Also I would probably want to be Mark S so I could sit around reviewing his knowledge all day and hopefully remember some of it when I became myself again (although this answer is something of a noble front to the fact that I'd probably be more interested in being any of various girls on here for solely sexual purposes) (e.g if I managed to track myself down and have sex with myself would I remember myself having done that when I went back to being myself, thus being the only person on earth to have experienced both sides of a sexual encounter?) (I would write a book).

― nabisco%%, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

b-but the book would be by nicholson baker!!??

― mark s, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh good god you're right: and it would be nonfiction to boot. Rest assured, women of ILX: even had I such powers, I would not be so terrible as to commandeer your bodies for such sordid purposes.

― nabisco%%, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

take me nabisco%%!

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Perverts.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd want to be Ned so I could be well-liked.

― Sean, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Any of a select myriad of fucknosed Googlers posting on the Hundred Reasons thread, so I had an excuse to sit around in a large group in the middle of town centre and hug fat pseudo-Goth girls.

― Dom Passantino, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

*blush* But Sean, you are well-liked! Or so I hope. :-)

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nick's out because even thinking about relentless eye pain makes me * shudder*

Oh pshaw, I don't have relentless eye pain, how very 'Lust For Life' you make me sound! (Though my ear has been hurting like hell since I cut it off...)

― Momus, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ooh ooh! I'd be Ned too, because with 24 hours to spare I could listen to, hm, maybe about 0.05% of his record collection. Except by the time I'd decided what to listen to first I'd have about three seconds left. Hrm. Oh well.

(Actually I have no idea who I'd want to be and if I did it would indeed be creepy to think about it, but I bet Romford is better than this place...)

― Rebecca, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, you could always try and steal it all, Rebecca. But I'd cry.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Do we get their personalities too? If we do I want to be Emma

― Maria, Sunday, 19 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

seven years pass...

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y296/imomus/pornotopia.jpg

― fifteen minutes of iguana time famous (forksclovetofu), Friday, 20 November 2009 21:57 (sixteen years ago)

Momus tried to take my gfs virginity when she was 16. True story.

― mayor jingleberries, Friday, 20 November 2009 22:26 (sixteen years ago)

... fool for a lifetime

― Cosmic Ugg (S-), Saturday, 21 November 2009 01:34 (sixteen years ago)

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