Wanting to erase your negative history on ILX / is ILX really good for us - C/D?

Yes, Rickey Wright's death was the trigger of this thread. No, I don't want to nor do I expect to selectively edit my ILX history.

But this got me thinking: Rickey was not a combative personality on ILX, nor did he spend all day and night on ILX. (If there's an exception, it's rare enough such that i can't conjure anything, and it doesn't really count.)

I'm combative from time to time. I'm hardly the only one not going through the loss of Rickey right now, but I feel quite embarrassed for how much time I've spent here, and how much of it was me being a dick.

If I were to be run over by a car or something in the next 24 hours, I don't want to be remembered as, say, the guy who tried to zing someone under the name "Dr. Morbius", for example. (morbz, this is not a diss on you. just an example, ok?)

In brief, it's extremely painful for me to be on this site. I tried sleeping all day on Friday (battling a chest cold as well.) I tried just moving on, but it's not working.

It's still too soon. But I've never been hit by something so tied to my years of connection to ILX before such tat I feel ill being here.

Maybe I'm just looking to see if others here feel the same, or if it's just me. Just trying to talk my way through this. heh, i wish someone could prescribe an ilx ban for me or something.

I repeat my thanks to everybody I've thanked and praised on the RIP Rickey thread here on ILE.

this haunts me daily, and well before rickey's passing

Of the three posters I know of that have died over the last few years, I can't recall any instances of any of them being particularly bitchy or zingy. In some ways I find it comforting to see an old thread bumped that contains some of their posts, like a smart turn of phrase or something is a bit of them left behind. I'm not sure more negative comments are necessarily an exception to that.

Negative or bitchy comments can be annoying at the time on a thread, but unless they're very creepy or mean-spirited, they're essentially forgiveable. I think of it as being similar to "hey, remember the time that guy was really mouthy to someone in the pub, yeah he was being a bit of a dick at the time but it was kinda funny, I miss how he used to do that".

Mackro - if you want me to ban you I'll do so for as long as you want to stay away, but I'm not sure it would stop you reading. I can say that ILE in particular served as a tremendous support network when Liz died. You all seem pretty close in Seattle and those periods of pulling together are examples of ILX at its best.

Hi. I didn't realize that any posters here had died in the past whenever, but I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise. 2007/2008 was probably my most obsessive period reading ILX, and I reckon that I've missed quite a bit.

In any case, I'm sorry for the people that knew those posters. What's more difficult than saying goodbye to someone under those sorts of circumstances? In the end I suppose or wish that it might be fuel to treasure people (including ourselves) while we are "here". Everyone is here and doing things that are beautiful and amazing. I think so, anyway.

And yeah, to address the question at hand, at times I would love to see all of my posts here erased. Certainly! There are so many (to me, anyhow) completely embarrassing (often drunken) meanderings. Burn it down! But, but, but, at the same time, y'know, that was me. That's me. Sometimes I am personable or whatever other wonderful qualities my ego fantasizes embodying, while other times I am a straight-up goshdarn fool. But in the end it's a display of "me". It would probably be good for me not to be not too uptight about it.

Anyhow, I'm sorry if this post constitutes hijacking this thread or egregiously blabbing. Those are some thoughts that I had in response, anyhow...

Like, I should demand in my will that at my funeral people read aloud transcripts of all of my posts here. Also, powerpoint presentations of my HTML playground threads are a must...

It's a good point, really.

For all that the Richey thread had "he was one of the good guys", I did wonder how many here are really the bad guys? For all that the bad guys stop posting and go somewhere else, the good guys stay on and still have things to say.

A pereson can be remembered for all the highlights of their life and career and whatever else, but you can get a sense of those people's character from what's posted here.

When you look back at yr childhood, people beyond a certain age have a fewe faded snapshots, whereas our kids have video records of how they were exactly.

Um, yeah.

i don't know who rickey wright is. but sometimes on thread revives i spot one of liz's posts and i still feel very sad that she isn't around anymore, even though i never really knew her at all. funny thing really.

people beyond a certain age have a fewe faded snapshots, whereas our kids have video records of how they were exactly

i think about this a lot. not just that there's more photos and videos of kids today but also teenagers posting stupid stuff online that will always be there...

tellingly i never seem to regret my 'being a dick' posts half as much as i regret the naive corny posts. damn this casino.

Mackro Mackro, you're a great dude. Not that it matters so much what I think, I know, but I think you're great. Please don't go. (Personally I like lots of "personalities" even the dickheads. I don't think that anyone is a dickhead all the time and/or to everyone. Nor is everyone an angel all the time. If they are, they must be alien.)

Sounds like you probably just need a break from ILx, MM.

What happened on the boards after 7/7 (or, indeed, after 9/11) was a prime example of just how valuable a community ILx can be when needed. But otherwise I do my best not to take it too seriously since effectively it's just an extended pub conversation where ideas and thoughts get tossed around and occasionally taken in unexpected directions.

Also, we're all just maggots. Eat, shit, fuck and then die. It's all of little importance really.

...

ILX is the Boswell of the 21st century and we are all Dr Johnson - cursing it's indescretions but unable to keep talking to it.

Unable to STOP talking to it. Damn.

i own you all

i figure despite the fact that i did end up returning after a couple of lengthy sabbaticals, i'll likely leave for good at some point. i don't necessarily think this internet community kinda shit brings out the best in me, reasonablepersonplusinternetequalsdroolingmoron.jpg

fwiw, makro, i've never thought of you as an asshole, someone who lowers the quality of the place. i've liked reading yr posts over the past couple years.

I hope we all don't judge each other by our worst moments on the boards. I try not to.

I do that with people unless I met them already for the inevitable "much friendlier/less of a dick in person" confirmation

Where's that photo of Dom and Louis a-huggin' and a-kissin' in some boozer?

some questions are better left unanswered

I do that with people unless I met them already for the inevitable "much friendlier/less of a dick in person" confirmation

I have yet to read the opposite.

I am much more of a dick in person. Usually because I am DRUNKER.

both kate and blueski were very nice in person THERE I SAID IT

thing is i know so many people who never act like dicks on the internet (but nor are they boring) so can't really be bothered giving those who do the benefit of the doubt unless they are fiendishly charismatic and hilarious enough in some way to get away with it, which is rare. but then i am a "sensitive" aspie soul.

in proximity to death i always reflect on the frivolous aspects of my life like wtf - which imo is a good thing - then tho things get a little twisted when i decide to quit those bad things w/o looking at their underlying motivations or having any good things to replace them with - sort of a backwards approach to life

i personally have mixed feelings abt ilx

ilx as a whole = fiendishly charismatic and hilarious enough to get away with it

Eh, I don't know. I do feel sort of bad for posting here, and I remember asking Andrew many years back to erase my posts because it is a depressing prospect to even think about. I guess it could be worse...?

all i know is it's depressing to think that one day this thread will be revived and i'm still on here and i see this post with (5 years ago) next to it, mostly because i have posts with that next to it already. fuckit, i'm moving in three weeks, i should probably just cold turkey this shit at that point tbh.

can i request to have someone else's posts deleted?

I get that depression of "oh shit, that was X years ago and nothing has changed" all the time, but nah keep it there for all of time. I've been much meaner/said stupider things in real life than I ever have or will on ILX, and I'd rather it was the other way round.

The only thing about ILX that I would really edit, if I were able, is having the documentary evidence of the two major relationships of my life, and their deterioration and breakups, so publicly and intimately available, for everyone and their dog to read.

I mean, that's one way in which ILX has f*cked with my life - on meeting a new person, having him google me, and him finding ILX, reading it, and saying "actually, I don't want to have a relationship with you" - that fucking sucked and it fucking hurt.

But I guess, overall, the people that I've met through ILX and the experiences I've had through it have far outweighed a crappy three month relationship that was probably wasn't meant to happen anyway.

Hm, I sort of wish the opposite: that all of my posts (even the negative ones) could be lovingly compiled into a book for future reference.

(Just a bit of fun, etc.)

http://reviews.cnet.com/sc/32143056-2-440-0.gif

make sure not to include any mntn gts posts

If it's any consolation, Kate, I don't have a dog.

no you don't understand, "actually i don't want to have a relationship with you" is the name of my dog!

No, actually, this is what I really hate most about ILX - when you say something utterly serious and completely heartfelt, and everyone takes the piss out of you for it. :-(

that is the internet's way of warning you that that kind of stuff shouldn't be here

tbomb

THE "FACE IS EVERYTHING" GUIDE TO THE INTERNET

yep

[I mean, that's one way in which ILX has f*cked with my life

really tho, how can this be ILX's fault??

we have all broken these rules btw

if someone posts something u don't like, and ur already talking to someone or a bunch of others, feel free to ignore that person. he/she will be left to refresh the thread looking for response, in great frustration.

^^^u&k

life is too short for at least half of those rules tho

but life is too long to spend it being pwnt

don't dj
don't be a dj
don't even post the word on the internet

matter fact, if ur a dj (don't answer this, btw; that's a no-no) just throw away yr decks right now.

I admit I lolled.

If ILX were the sort of board with an "edit" function, there would probably come a point in life where I'd stop working for a few months and go back through every post trying to make myself look better. There's a level on which posting here for long enough is like the internet having an on-demand reality show about your daily life, only lamer.

It occurred to me we're not that far off from the first post to have (10 years ago) next to it. And that will be just plain fucking weird.

Of the three posters I know of that have died over the last few years, I can't recall any instances of any of them being particularly bitchy or zingy. In some ways I find it comforting to see an old thread bumped that contains some of their posts, like a smart turn of phrase or something is a bit of them left behind. I'm not sure more negative comments are necessarily an exception to that.

Negative or bitchy comments can be annoying at the time on a thread, but unless they're very creepy or mean-spirited, they're essentially forgiveable. I think of it as being similar to "hey, remember the time that guy was really mouthy to someone in the pub, yeah he was being a bit of a dick at the time but it was kinda funny, I miss how he used to do that".

Mackro - if you want me to ban you I'll do so for as long as you want to stay away, but I'm not sure it would stop you reading. I can say that ILE in particular served as a tremendous support network when Liz died. You all seem pretty close in Seattle and those periods of pulling together are examples of ILX at its best.

Matt, no need for a self-ban.

Seriously, thank you very much, re your last point especially.

Last week has been a brain overload for many of us in Seattle, so a lot of crossed signals and emotions were missed and all mixed up, so during these times, it's easy to induce something that deflates ourselves even if it was just happenstance that triggered it. It's still soon, but I think we're all pulling together.

If the Higgs wants to pass on some recent encouraging news regarding a way for us to have closure here in Seattle re Rickey, I'll let her decide so. (Rickey has lived in Seattle for over a decade, but his official funeral is happening back in Virginia where he grew up, which is entirely understandable.)

I don't plan to mean-spiritedly snark or zing or snap a fellow ILXer again, and if anyone catches me doing that from this point on, bookmark this post and call me out on my shit, guys, OK?

When I vent my spleen on ilx, I try to make it a literary event, a tender gift to posterity, the pinnacle of each ilx bystanders' day. I will root out the mot juste from under whatever mossy rock or rotting tree it lives beneath and expose it triumphantly in the face of my adversary, like an executioner holding the beating heart of his victim before his dying eyes.

This mitigates the negativity a bit, imo.

http://www.lossimpsonsonline.com.ar/personajes/martin-prince-jr/martin-prince.png

exactly

i have extreme regret/embarrassment over past posts i've made - i was a wreck of stress and insomnia when i initially started posting here, probable for almost a year. i didn't think before posting, and i was on the mental edge for most of that time. i think a lot of the times i thought i was being funny, i actually wasn't, and ppl just thought i was a spaz.

but i don't regret being part of the ilx community. i've made dozens of good friends here; just because i don't get to hang out at a bar with them doesn't make them any less than the friends i have 'in real life'. i get to see one of my best friends maybe once every 2 or 3 yrs, and that will be even less now i'm not living in a country that she regularly visits - does that mean we don't have a 'real' friendship? i don't really draw a line of distinction between my 'internet' friends and the ppl i hang out with, and i think it's kind of weird to do so. but i guess it depends on why you post to ilx: for me, it is a social thing, just like any other social group activity. but i understand that not everyone treats it that way.

I'm looking forward to some youngster in the future to come along after I'm gone, copy-and-paste one of my quotes in italics, and ask the board "Who the hell could care this much about Billy Joel?"

http://img115.imageshack.us/img115/3584/fame11024qf7.jpg

ILX: I'm Gonna Live Forever

I'm looking forward to some youngster in the future to come along after I'm gone, copy-and-paste one of my quotes in italics, and ask the board "How can there be male ladybugs?"

everyone will know what i had for lunch AND how much i liked it

If I had time
I would put it
on 77.

then I'd pass it on to you...

on the real:

i hope everyone is okay and i'm sorry if i ever seemed like a dick.

awww m@tt everyone cool likes u