A delicate situation - unconscious bird-flipping

I am a manager at an advertising firm. One of my subordinates, also a manager, has this habit of unconsciously gesturing with his middle finger: scratching at his face, rubbing his eye, propping it against his cheek, etc. It's very overt, and very frequent, and there's no mistaking it--it plainly looks like he's giving the finger.

He seems to do it mostly with me--he does exhibit some nervous tics with all his fingers in general, but typically they do not involve *the* finger, except when he's talking to me. I can't help but interpret this gesture as an unconscious signal of contempt towards me, or perhaps towards people in a power position/superiors in general.

This happens constantly during our interactions, and it's very off-putting. And if the "contempt towards superiors" theory is true, I'm also concerned that he may do this to MY boss.

Any suggestions as to how to broach this topic with him, if at all?

Thanks y'all...

Email him a link to this thread.

Can't you just make him wear mittens or something?

Is there any way you can subtly incorporate the "hit-crook-of-elbow-with-one-fist-while-raising-the-other-sharply-upwards" gesture into your body movements when he does this?

http://www.aquiziam.com/pictures/rg-assfist.jpg

When he does it, just cross your arms, ignore whatever he was talking about, and say "are you flipping me off?" He's your subordinate, fuck his feelings.

i fix my glasses like this all the time unintentionally, it's just a mannerism. maybe you're reading too much into this?

Maybe instead of subconsciously-expressed hostility it's something sexual.

So I guess it would be insufficiently professional to just do the same thing back to him in the same subtle/understated way?

What would Dane Cook do?
http://s29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/crazykatz4u_/?action=view¤t=superfinger.jpg

That's fine, Internet, I didn't actually care either.

As I see it, you have two viable choices. Either bring it up with him overtly and tell him what the problem is, or accept that you're probably imagining things and learn to ignore it, because even if you are spot on about this gesture, it is childish to take it too seriously. Personally, I would go with the latter.

If he shows open signs of hostility or fails you on a professional level, that's different.

So I guess it would be insufficiently professional to just do the same thing back to him in the same subtle/understated way?

Do NOT take the passive-aggressive way out on this one. Bad nabisco! No OTM!

If he's mostly doing it toward you, why are you assuming it's an unconscious signal?

hahaha oh right, I always forget that plausible deniability doesn't mean something isn't passive-aggressive

being passive-aggressive is totally underrated, though -- I hope to one day see a school of U.S. foreign policy based around it

Isn't plausible deniability one of the cornerstones upon which passive-aggressiveness is built?

you may want to check with some of your other colleagues -- instead of assuming that he's mostly doing it to you, you may want to see if other people have noticed this particular mannerism as well.

xpost - pretty much

The middle finger is the longest one, so it's the most useful in getting quickly to itchy areas and whatnot. Except on gays, tho; their middle fingers are shorter than their index fingers. So why not ask if he's gay? That should resolve the problem quite nicely.

their middle fingers are shorter than their index fingers

comparative index & ring finger length, i thought

What, are you some expert on gays?

i don't know anyone whose index is longer than their middle finger, does this make ET a huge fag or what

haha it's index and ring, but the world would be a pretty magical place if you went around looking for people with finger lengths that looked like cellphone reception bars

ET's index finger was really a light-up dildo.

ummmmmm yes ET was gay, he dressed up like a girl??

"ouuuch"

http://kenstein64.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/eddie-izzard-an02.jpg

pictured: ET

I am checking out animal fingers online, and so far I have confirmed that sloths and aye-ayes tend to be straight