In this thread we quote adverts from our youth in their entirety from memory.

"How's the new girlfriend?"
"You'll meet her, she'll be here in a minute"
"And you're eating onions?"
"Yeah, I love em!"
"She's going to love your onion breath!"
"Doesn't matter, I've got doublemint!"

you were in my class i was your teacher miss fitzhenry bugsyyyyyyy brown.

The red car and the blue car had a race
All red wants to do is stuff his face
He eats everything he sees, from trucks to prickly trees
But smart old blue he took the milky way

He's looking for a chocolate treat, fluffy and light
Cos he knows it won't spoil his appetite

Oh no! The bridge is gone! Poor old red can't carry on!
But smart old blue he took the milky way.

Way down deep in the middle of the Congo,
A hippo took an apricot, a guava and a mango.
He stuck it with the others, and he danced a dainty tango.
The rhino said, "I know, we'll call it Um Bongo"

Don't remember the second verse.

A finger of Fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat
A finger of Fudge is just enough until it's time to eat
It's full of peppery goodness*
So very small and neat
(repeat 1st line)

*almost certainly not "peppery" but that's how I always heard it

Who's going to do the honours with Ian Rush/Accrington Stanley?

xpost - I thought it was peppery as well!

my baloney has a first name

Cadbury goodness, I think.

Cadbury goodness.

xpost damnit!

If your transmission's got you down
or your motor falls apart,
It's time to come to Thunderbolt.
You don't need a brand new car.

We still believe in value,
and we pass it on to you.
At Thunderbolt we'll fix it right
and we'll guarantee it too.

We put the Yee Hah back in your motor and transmission.

Pete Ellis Dodge, Long Beach Freeway, Firestone Exit, Southgate

Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce
Special orders don't upset us
All we ever ask is that you have it your way!

Have it your way, have it your way
Have it your way, at Burger King!

(Over/under on someone posting the parody is 5.)

joe loves campbell's meatballs
and they say 'we love you' (no kiddin joe)
but mum says
'don't you eat too many or you'll be a meatball too'
but simply by hanging out with the meatballs
he becomes their unofficial ruler
the meatballs say well done
(well done) well done (well done) we-ll du-uh-uhn
campbell's meaty beaty bouncy meatballs
they're so much fuuuuuuhhn
(now in bolognese sauce)
yum

(meatball chorus)

Fruity Marshmellow Krispies

Fruity Marshmellow Krispies

Where were you when we hammered the Dutch in '96?

"Kevin, where exactly did you bury the car?"
"In the sand! I'm - I'm not helping much am I dad?"

[boring AA or insurance selling voiceover twaddle skipped]

If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our club.

[car trundling along quiet country road, is swiftly crushed by a giant hedgehog falling from out of nowhere]

WOODPECKER WHAT A REFRESHING CHANGE!

Who's going to do the honours with Ian Rush/Accrington Stanley?

how's this:

"My mum says, if I don't drink my milk I'll only be good enough to play for Accrington Stanley!"
"Accrington Stanley? Who're they?"
"Exactly!"
"Gimme some!"
"Gerroff!"
"Gimme some!"

Hey Eddie, give me a pizza and hold the tomato sauce.
- Hold the tomato sauce?!
And hold the crust.
- Hold the crust?!?!

HEY JIMMY, GIVE ME A PIZZA WITH NOTTIN'

-- NOTTIN?!

lots of smouldering glances over potatoes dripping with real irish butter btwn daughter of the house and french dude in idyllic country farmhouse. french dude all set to leave next morning. doughty preteen son of the house asks:

DA WHO'S TAKIN THE HAURSE TA FRANCE?

daughter appears to climax in her aran knits.

never got that one, tbh.

Big Mac, McDLT, Quarter Pounder with some cheese, Filet O' Fish, a hamburger, a cheeseburger, a Happy Meal, McNuggets, tasty golden French fries, regular or larger size, a salad, chef or garden or a chicken salad Oriental, big big breakfast, Egg McMuffin... [that's where my memory trails off]

Butterkist, Butterkist, ra ra ra
Butterkist, Butterkist, ra ra ra
Butterkist, Butterkist, ra ra ra
Butterkist, ra ra ra!

If you've got a passion for fashion!
If you've got a craving for savings!
Take the wheel
of your automobile
and swing on down to...
IDEAL!

TV Anouncer "The new range of Knour soups have caused people to go K crazy, and ksuperemarkets are in kdanger of kselling out of some of the kpopular ksoups..(etc)

Woman to husband: "You heard the news?"

Husband : "what?"

Woman: "Our Brenda's Pregnant again!"

TV announcer : "(cough)"

Got a call from Mr Fryer
He's bringing round a buyer
The kitchen looked a fright
From the little do last night
Although I felt quite sickly
I had to clean it quickly
With Spray N Wipe All-Purpose
I'll clean up every surface

Spray N Wipe's a breeze
Cos it cuts through toughest grease
The kitchen's sparkling clean
And the buyer's very keen
So thank you.....Spray N Wipe.

God I'm actually ashamed of myself now.

five-eight-eeeeight... two three hundred... empiiiiiiiirre!

Season's greetings in our souls
Yummy Fruity Pebbles in our bowls
Ho-ho-ho, I'm hu-hu-hungry
SANTA?! My Pebbles!
Tis the season to be sharing, Fred.

meow meow meow meow
meow meow meow meow
meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
meow meow meow meow
meow meow meow meow
meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

^^^winner

do the shake & vac and put the freshness back
do the shake & vac and put the freshness back
when your carpet smells fresh your room does to <<< demonstratably nonsense
do the shake & vac something something I forgot...

last line: so when you (get the? start to?) vacuum, remember what to do...

repeat ad infinitum

My name's Coco and I live in a tree
I sell Dur3x condoms for 35p

...damn I can't remember that one either

http://i179.photobucket.com/albums/w309/huggie74/cresta.jpg

(crap Phil Silvers impersonation not pictured)
Hup! Two Three Four! Hup! Two Three Four!
The bubble in every bottle of Corona has passed it's fizzical!

(dddaaaaaaaaaaahhmmm... xposted!)

"Wouldn't you rather be Hemeling?"

OK well I was completely wrong. Although not about the PS impersonation.

"Every Tom, Jack or Walt
Who likes the taste of malt
Will like the malt
In a Colt
Forty-fiii-i-ive"

"Brut 33 - Splash it all over"

In Henry Cooper's voice.

Can't remember what Lawrie McMenemy said when he was shilling Barbican low-alcohol lager.

There's an extended version where HC and Kevin Keegan discuss "the great fresh smell of Brut" in a men's locker room, having just taken a shower.

Would you like to win the big one
like to win the big one
like to win the big one now?

Does it rain in Melbourne?
Does an Aussie like a pie?
Does a girl dance backwards?
Is the Nullarbor dry?
Does a kookaburra make a row?

Would you like to win the big one
like to win the big one
like to win the big one now?

Dour, lifeless Michael Angelis scouser voice:

"Our son Pat
is a bit nifty... with a bat
he can run in a circle
as fast as a cat."

(Suddenly goes a bit sing-songy:)

"When he gets a little peckish
he takes off his hat
93% peanuts
he likes a bit of this, likes a bit of that.
Sun-packed, fun-packed, our son Pat.
- I'll kill 'im when I get my hands on him!"

^always saw this on TVAM 89/90, whilst eating my porridge of a morning. IT WILL NEVER LEAVE ME.

does anybody out there remember the Jive Records (i'm guessing) commercial for new releases by Kool Moe Dee and Dj Jazzy Jeff & FP that would come on MTV circa '87? with the old ass lady saying somethin like

"Kool Moe Dee says he's 'def'! That boy can hear!!"

"The Fresh Prince calls himself a 'homeboy'!! That boy NEVER calls home!"

My name's Coco, I'm a monkey like you
I live in the jungle not in a zoo
I eat only leaves cos there aren't any shops
But I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops