Relationship problems

"Yeah, I get that feeling too."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Nothin', dude, nothin. She just seems like the kind a girl that'd just..."

In the autumn of 2007 I was seeing this girl for a month or two. She ended it on typically vague grounds. We've stayed mates, and she's now seeing someone else (who I've not met). Recently sexual tension has been noticably rising every time we see each other, and last night we slept together. She told me that she feels much more comfortable and safe with me than with the other guy, but the subject of whether she will carry on seeing him wasn't raised. I don't think she's deliberately playing games with me, but that she's confused and maybe a little bit crazy. I like her quite a lot, and want to stay friends with her whatever happens. Throw into the mix the fact that she's over in the UK from Australia on a working visa which expires in a few months anyway, so there's no way we can have anything long-term. I don't even know if I want to get back together with her, it was a bit of a headfuck last time to be frank.

So, a bit of a mess. Don't know if there's any advice that would be applicable really, I either actively start avoiding her, turn down any future advances (beyond my powers, I suspect) or ride it out and see what happens. The latter is most likely. I'm just feeling a bit screwed up about this today and wanted to get it out somewhere. I dunno, maybe the tension will go away now we've actually done it.

^^^^^
Self-pitying bollocks, regretting posting already.

LJ

maybe take her out for a meal at the bistro? talk to her, eat food, drink wine, compliment her.

but seriously, it sounds pretty simple really. be honest with her and tell her how you feel?

Have no epectations, enjoy each other's company through words or comingled flesh.

I recently had an until-the-work-permit expires relationship and it was pretty rewarding/staisfying/i'm richer for it, so there's that. it's kinda nice when you cna brace yourself for the leaving, in a way.

actually a lot of my relationships, both friendship and romantic, have been "time bombs" w/ people moving, etc. the urgency makes me actually hang out w/ people, and not flake. fucked up! anyway, i say GO BALLS DEEP

avoid!

oh but i meant to mention, unless this other dude is okay with her not being exclusive and she's not lying to him or something get her to sort that out first.

Well, the implication was that last night was a one off and she wasn't going to tell him about it. BUT we both agreed we'd definately like to continue our friendship, and I can easily see this kind of shit happening again (we both like to get too drunk for our own good). If/when there is a repeat incident, I'll probably tell her she should sort it out with the other guy. I wouldn't be too keen on sharing her myself. If my responses seem confused, it's because I'm confused.

Have no epectations, enjoy each other's company through words or comingled flesh.
This is good advice, thanks.

I dunno, the phrase "comingled flesh" is really freaking me out.

http://earth911.org/files/2007/07/cg-commingled-recyclables.jpg

I dunno, the phrase "comingled flesh" is really freaking me out.

Does it blend?