Which of these people should get the job?

This is for a technical writer/editor and web content person for a USian government agency. Must understand federal acquisitions. Must be well versed in Sharepoint and/or Quickr, must be comfy with databases. Must be able to translate Bureaucrat into English (and vice versa) whether creating technical documentation or policy docs.

Candidate #1: Pretty near perfect in terms of qualifications. Pleasant in person. Spent the last 7 years out of the workplace for family reasons. Seems to want the job but has a dealbreaker condition that I don't think we can meet (keeping a security clearance).

Candidate #2: Did not show up for interview, did not call to 'splain.

Candidate #3: Overqualified in terms of technical experience, underqualified in terms of being able to distill jargon for a lay audience. Old for a jobseeker, possibly getting desperate. Typos on resume. Kinda a dick. Bored me to tears.

Candidate #4: Plenty of web experience but not much in documentation and none in government/acquisitions. But he was the coolest and most personally engaging of the people I've talked to.

Candidate #5: Well qualified on paper but kinda scattered and unfocused in person. Tended to overshare. Told me about her 9 months out of work, her autistic son, her $40,000 in medical bills. Lives in my neighborhood and may in fact be the mysterious person who brings my trashcans in from the curb without being asked.

Candidate #6: A good fit on paper but we haven't talked yet. Scheduled for Monday.

I both love and hate doing this. I am glad to be able to employ someone (especially in these troubling times) but it fills me with anxiety that I have to choose one person and reject the others. Is the autistic kid going to haunt my dreams if I don't give his mom a job? At the same time, it has to go to someone I can confidently recommend, and who I think will take the work seriously and do a good job. Because this is on a subcontract, the person needs to be acceptable to me, my employer, the main contractor, and the end client--and each may have different ideas of what's most important. Gah.

You just fired Beethoven.

I didn't know he was deaf! I just thought he wasn't listening!

#2, s/he's got chutzpah.

id go with #2--sounds mysterious

#3 killed #2

we've traced the resume... it's coming from inside the house!

I like omar's theory. Dude #3 is not someone I want to have upset with me, ergo he should get it.

#5 is some scary shit

Is the autistic kid going to haunt my dreams if I don't give his mom a job?

i didn't know the ability to invade others' dreams was on the autism spectrum. huh!

#5 sounds kind of annoying, but if you can verify that she's bringing in your trash cans then you should definitely give her the job.

expln more about #1's dealbreaker condition?

1 (negotiate about the dealbreaker thing) or 6. You don't want typos, unstable or will-charm-his-way-out-of-every-late-assignment.

4 seems the obv winner if its turns out 1s condition really wont work - if not then 1 is in the running - 6 is the darkhorse

"I heard you turned this into an online poll, you can keep your job."

Take 4 ands train him. Easy.

Yeah, #4, it's a no-brainer. Unless #6 is amazing.