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I had my first exam this mornig. I got up early, arrived ten minutes early as requested, to discover that I was at the wrong University Sports Hall. We'd been told by the lecturer exactly which one it would be at, but apparently everyone else realised his mistake. grr. I had to run (at 9:25am, int these shoes?) to the far side of a whole other campus I and arrived 5 minutes late, tired and huffy, with only Pika! Pika! (which L (and her whole house who thought I was a psycho) wuvved, thankyou Dang) to keep me happy. I will be growling next time I see said lecturer.

The exam was one of those stupid ones where you have to answer exactly what you were taught, so even if you understand the topic completely, who get marked down for not remembering exactly which bit of incidental trivia they had mentioned, or even worse, explained it a different way to their method. Plus it was all about stuff we've done before in other overlapping modules (I dream of the day I can mention interlacing without having to explain what it's for, what it does and how it works). Also I cannot spell chrominance and lumanance.

So, does anyone else have exams at the moment? Describe briefly with the aid of a diagram the major processes involved in revision and exams as applied to the VHS video recording system.

― Graham "the s stand for bitter", Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Bah yes I have exams. Two more left. I need about 6 percent from tomorrows exam to reach the Holy Land that is a pass. However Thursday is all Manufacturing Consent and Chomsky and "Cultural/Historical Perspectives" which is extensive bullshit really but I still have to study hard on Wednesday to ensure I pass.

― Ronan, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ronan: IMPORTANT do NOT repeat do NOT mention the 12-foot l•z•rds, as you will be failed immediately (= proof they rule all, obv)

― mark "the s stands for YOU DIDN'T SEE ME" s, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I already mentioned them in an assignment, I said how it was odd that 4 out of 6 classes were teaching us what seemed to be the same conspiracy theory, and that anyone would think that was a conspiracy. Actually I forget how I worked the twelve foot lizards into that but I did it somehow. It said under it "some good stuff here, funny too".

― Ronan, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

good stuff here funny too: trans = "liquidate him soon but let no one suspect the fainting is the signal bwahaha you blundering fools oh yes mine all mine" etc

graham i can think of nothing amusing to help you

― mark s, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The question is mark, where does Boxcar Willie fit into the plot? Where?

― Ronan, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Turning up at the wrong Hall is not good. When I went back to uni at the age of 36, the teaching ended before the exam timetable was available. I phoned up for it. When I turned up for the first exam and started chatting outside, I swiftly discovered that I had revised the wrong subject, and not the right one at all. This was a little unnerving! I don't know whose fault it was. At least it meant that I'd already done my revision for the next one, so it saved me some time!

Nowadays I work for a uni (UCL), and was today revising the method of generating the student's exams timetables! I have so far resisted the temptation to introduce randomising to make others suffer the way I did.

I'm afraid I'm one of those people who are dead good at exams and only need minimal revision - I don't think I ever revised more than two hours for any exam in my life. Sorry.

― Martin Skidmore, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Did I say 6 percent to pass, make that 0.6 percent, hahahahahah, it was the pictures of Timbaland and Mick Hucknall that made the assignment a winner.

― Ronan, Monday, 20 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I just tried to get 100% in an open-notes Maths exam as an act of HATE, having been to no lessons (teacher=wanker) (don't worry, I didn't do andy revision either). Scuppered on the last question, about which I had no clue so left it blank to perfect the art (and I had no clue). What's Euler's method re: differential equations? And why the fuck isn't it in my A-level revision guide? (ah, you can help here Mark, but it has to be amusing).

― Graham, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm afraid I'm one of those ppl who are dead good at "andy revision".A

― Andrew L, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

euler's method

― mark s, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am crap at exams. I can't get around to revising, I have a terrible memory for names and my winging skills only extend so far. Hence only a 2.1 where I should have been recommended for a knighthood et

― N., Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yikes, that is me too. Old chum from college who I hadn't seen in ages (who is now Dr Chum) started berating me the other day for being such a lazy bastard when I should've been revising and telling me I should've got a first (me: But I did get a HIGH 2:1!).

My revision programme went: get up, have large breakfast so I don't need a break till lunch, revise for 30 minutes, watch daytime TV for 1.5 hours, feel mildly guilty, go to morning coffee with chums, return to room, faff about, go to lunch, watch Neighbours, watch Columbo / Ironside etc, revise for 30 minutes, go to afternoon tea, go to library for up to an hour (mostly spent doodling), return to room, faff, go to bar (which is full of 1st & 2nd years saying good grief Emma aren't you a finalist shouldn't you be in the library till 10:00).

I think that perhaps Dr Chum is right & I am a lazy bastard.

― Emma, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(though on the plus side I never really got freaked out about my exams, while my mates were all having kittens about a month before we were due to start & not sleeping / eating / breathing properly I was fine until the weekend before when I woke up my boyf to cry at him and shout 'I've got my bloody finals this week')

― Emma, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

One in 3 weeks. NO revision yet, but went to revision lesson earlier and it seems quite straighforward. Basically, I have to remember sociolinguistics. All of it. In particular everything we learnt in the last year. Should be fine.

― alix, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah but Em your 2.1 was from Oxford so that counts as a first. Oh hang on, it was in Modern Languages so no it doesn't.

In total, I reckon I have now stressed more about exams in the period since my last one (in my recurring dream life) than I ever did when I was actually taking them. Then there's the 'I'm performing in a school play and I haven't been to any of the rehearsals or learned my lines' variant

― N., Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

In the absence of Pete I am having a mind meld with N (and it ain't pretty, folks) as turning up for exam without having revised / being in a play and not knowing the lines are in my top 3 recurring nightmares (after teeth falling out. I really am a seething mass of insecurities).

And do not mock Modern Languages for without them how would we, er, talk to foreign people eh? Eh? Mr Clever?

I am now stressed about my lack of stress, since maybe a bit more stress would have led me to do something productive e.g. get myself a proper career.

― Emma, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, stress has its good side unfortunately. I spend my life avoiding it so my life is a molehill etc.

― N., Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You all need to eliminate that bloody zinc from your diet and thus you won't remember your recurring nightmares. Sacrifice physical health for mental health.

― Ronan, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But they keep me on my toes & encourage me to maintain good dental hygiene! Also some dreams I want to remember heh heh heh. Eliminating zinc would be like chucking the baby out with the bath water.

― Emma, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

eliminating zinc would be like chucking the baby out with the bath water

Those heh heh heh dreams must be very lengthy.

― Ronan, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Are you saying Emma's fat?

― N., Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have no idea how I could be saying that, convoluted as my eh..... joke may have been, so you can explain your way out of that Mr D.

― Ronan, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Err... lot of bath water needed to cover enormous mass therefore it takes ages to chuck it all out of the window. Come on, that's obviously what you meant.

― N., Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nick's childish effort to get Ronan into trouble has backfired as clearly Ronan's innocent remarks appealed to Nick's subconscious thoughts re- me being fat. So Nick ARE YOU SAYING I'M FAT?#

I assume that Ronan figured I was having sex dreams and to get from sex to baby = 9 months = long dream.

― Emma, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am not saying you are fat but my befuddled brain now can't work out what on Earth Ronan's joke was about. Or get the image of you in the bath out of my head. I'm going for a walk.

― N., Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And yes I did mean to type 'walk', before any smartarse pipes up.

― N., Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes Emma got the joke. Admittedly if jokes were in the World Cup this summer it'd be China or someone but still, I tried.

― Ronan, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That's alright Ronan, at least you are not harbouring pervertalist mental images of me in the bath.

― Emma, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And yes I did mean to type 'walk', before any smartarse pipes up.

CURSES.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't worry Dan, I think that's a typo.

― Graham, Tuesday, 21 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Today's exam was a horrid horrid Audio Systems one with trick multiple choice answers. Especially since the wrong answers were deliberately constructed to look like proper ones but with different terminology. Wrong wrong wrong. Fucking chemistry teachers.

― Graham, Thursday, 30 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

seven months pass...

Revive!

I passed my exam today. Saturday is microeconomics. Tuesday is Irish Politics. I also found out that after these two, I have one and a half exams left in my life EVER! classic.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 16 January 2003 23:23 (twenty-three years ago)

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