Search And Destroy: Crisps

Are "Corn snacks" allowed? Nothing quite comes close to gruesomely titled (bacon flavour) Oinks, and they're only 5p. Was there anything more to the cartoons on the back of Space Raiders, or did someone really make up an entire intergalactic war concept just for a couple of 3 frame comic strips?

Wasn't "Miss Vicki" the name of Tiny Tim's wife? Whom he married on the Tonight Show or something?

Destroy: Walkers. And that's just for finishers.

Search: tomato Wheat Crunchies, salt and vinegar Chipsticks, pickled onion Monsta Munch, pizza Pringles, ready salted Patatine San Carlo.

Destroy: anything claiming to have a percentage of fat freeness.

Destroy: Ready Salted crisps - you can't uninvent artificial flavourings you luddite swines.

Did any American readers think "fish and chips" meant fish with a load of crisps? URGH.

Has Emma just proved she is a hideous invading space-mutant, and can we chase her thru the streets and burn her up in a vat of superheated cooking oil?
(Or, er, not?)

destroy: all meat, salt & vinegar, and cheese flavour crisps. and reconstituted corn based snacks. hell, just destroy crisps. they taste inoffensive at best, and are probably sufficiently complicit in the high levels of heart disease around here for walkers to be next through the courts after the cigarette companies have finished.

Bacon Wheat Crunchies are da bomb, Pringles are however evil. flavour is easily Barbeque flavour - in their evil black packets they taste nothing like barbeques.

By the way, we worked out why Gary Linaker was picked for the Brass Eye last wee'character' in the Walkers Crisps adverts after all preys on young kiddies, lurking in the bushes to steal their crisps. Lucky there aren't cherry flavoured crisps eh?

Search: any reconsituted corn snack which sucks the flesh of yr tongue into the body of itself before dissolving

Please stop talking about crisps as they are barred from my new diet.

I would buy any drink which advertised itself with a drunk person, apart from a real ale with a ridiculous drunkard cartoon on the pumphead.

Walkers live forever in my memory for introducing actual nice-looking potatoes into the equation: in the mid-70s, Smiths and Golden Wonder used only potatoes-of-the-thousand-eyes variety, which were very often i. purple, or ii. green.

And search: bags of those fishy old Scampi Fries containing more than 5 fries. And destroy: Cheese Moments, which surely contain the most repulsive cheese-like substance ever to have been imported from space? Some competition here, I know.

I also like the plain ones you get in Europe, no flavour but fried potato, nice.

Brannigans not that greasy IN THEMSELVES: the grease come off the inside of the container stamping itself straight onto the front of the human face forever...

like it's okay to eat them if they have ridges and are a vehicle for some "dip", but if you are just eating a bag of plain unruffled ones then you are automatically the laughing stock of the room, no matter what company you're surrounded by

ever since chips with salsa strutted onto the american snack scene i guess potato chips just aren't "sexy" enough for the average american consumer. again, it's quite sad

is the faux artisan potato chip a thing there?

best ridged crisps = walkers max paprika flavour, goddamn yes

is the faux artisan potato chip a thing there?

yup v much

or "v munch" should i say!

REading about the need for dips to go with “potato chips”, whatever the fuck that is, I feel like America probably would not appreciate the textural joy that is the crisp sandwich.

(tries to remember the bacon-flavoured KP crisp product, unavailable in the UK, which we got terribly addicted to on our last visit to Ireland)

Bacon Jawz! Yeah. We need those over here. And Club Lemon to wash them down.

Oh... I'm meant to be on a diet. And I already ate a bag of Walkers (prawn cocktail) and drank a bottle of Irn Bru. It's going really well, this diet thing. Now if you'll excuse me there's some leftover Chinese takeaway in the fridge.

Idk bacon jawz but club lemon is perfection

I'm getting the same malware warning message when I try to view the entire thread as well.

fuck why did i click on this thread, could murder a bag of hula hoops all of a sudden

― r|t|c, Thursday, January 24, 2013 5:18 PM (1 hour ago)

Great. Now I have to go and source some BBQ Beef flavour hoops. Also their website is flash (ahahaha gedddit? Flash? *gets coat*)

not a club lemon fan myself. that much citrus and sugar gives me a headache, guaranteed.

the fancy crisp really is so disappointing, most of the time. kettle chips are mainly a great way to slice the inside of your mouth to bits, and the flavours don't taste particularly authentic.

the posh pork scratching on the other hand opens up a whole world of competitive quality.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Pekm5EFbGF8/TAejfTYEzDI/AAAAAAAABjY/wIQfLp5aXE4/s1600/IMG_2898.JPG

these are surprisingly good but you can only eat like five of them before they become gross

most posh crisps seem to just prove how important texture is in our enjoyment of food.

yeah otm about the mouth ravaging qualities

the posh pork scratching on the other hand opens up a whole world of competitive quality.

― Ballboy to Afghanistan (LocalGarda), Thursday, 24 January 2013 19:02 (1 hour ago) Bookmark

i somehow contrived to eat only a plate of pork crackling and nothing else for dinner the other week so this post made me feel quite ill

ever since chips with salsa strutted onto the american snack scene i guess potato chips just aren't "sexy" enough for the average american consumer. again, it's quite sad

hahaha, what? Lay's plain potato chips are the #1 snack food in the USA and have been for like 40 years now. Tortilla chips are a distant second.

read the trade papers and then get back to me. when that Whore salsa came into the picture coupla decades back everything changed

i somehow contrived to eat only a plate of pork crackling and nothing else for dinner the other week so this post made me feel quite ill

how did this happen? bad restaurant or burnt dinner?

Man, I wish I had access to a savory snacks magazine. I had a great time once reading a magazine for pizza restauranteurs. As for tortilla overtaking potato in chip sales in the USA, I'm not buyin' it.

well i'd made the pork with the original intention of sandwiches & freezing and while i had meant to have a couple bits for dinner too i got started on the crackling and couldnt stop

Garda this selfloathing gael routine has to fuckin stop man, next you'll be dissing barrys tea and not buying far east magazine ffs

Don't forget to vote

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CLlrVpZWEAAUh72.jpg:large

Oh shiiiiiiiit, the biscuits and gravy ones are really good.

Biscuit flavoured chips: guaranteed to confuse a limey.

I wonder if there are UK restaurants that specialize in varieties of American breakfast.

Co-op sea salt and chardonnay vinegar. Try and overcome any instinctive reactions the name might produce, they are tremendous.

http://www.burtschips.com/wp-content/uploads/Hamageddon-40g-small.png

Not bad. More mustardy then Brannigans.

these are great! thanks, scotland!

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51wSqW5egnL._SX466_.jpg

got them at my favorite store in massachusetts: THE OCEAN STATE JOB LOT. which means they might not have them the next time i go there and i might not be able to find them again.

they aren't really fiery hot. but that's okay. they have the most marvelous chip/crisp texture. perfect mouth feel.

mackie's make fucking great ice-cream too fyi

i don't really eat chips anymore but i used to love these

https://secretmenus.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/jalapeno-cheddar-kettle-chips-291x400.gif

and sorry but i also did like old dutch ketchup chips

Holy God, Torres Selecta Black Truffle has raised the stakes

Here: https://www.souschef.co.uk/products/crisps-with-black-truffle

The holy grail. I've only just finished my first ever pack and I want this every day forever

an intense black truffle punch

you heard

We just came back from Mexico and I’d like to vouch for Pap’s Chiles Mexicanos (chile puya flavour). Amongst the best uh crisps I have ever encountered.

https://i.imgur.com/CdxCRHE.jpg
Mind blown
Basically sour cream and onion with a hint of cool ranch aftertaste

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/G2ZzOXxXoAEypM0?format=jpg&name=large

Harold Bishop's Spicey Spuds sounds like something from Blue Jam's Club News sketches.

xp RIP :-(

aldi's ridged ready salted kettle chip style crisps are tremendous. just the right amount of grease + a bit too much salt. extremely addictive.

Lol I thought that was Ronnie Corbett on the Spar crisps for a minute

aldi's ridged ready salted kettle chip style crisps are tremendous. just the right amount of grease + a bit too much salt. extremely addictive.

at the other end of the scale, Brets Miel Moutarde are hide-the-pack-away-from-yourself addictive.

"Lol I thought that was Ronnie Corbett on the Spar crisps for a minute"

With a bit of deft linework it could also be Trevor Horn.

In which case those crisps would be Trevor Horn's Spicey Spuds, which sounds like the Trevor Horn / Devo crossover we never knew we needed.

It also raises the question of whether the word is spicey or spicy. My hunch is that British people of the 1980s were still getting to grips with the concept of spices and thus didn't know how to spell the world properly. And yet I am a product of that era too. My heart says spicy, but Spar says otherwise, and I can sympathise with my brothers and sisters from forty years ago. Spicey-with-an-e feels authentically British. A clumsy British attempt to adapt to a bewildering, changing world, where suddenly food stings!

"He may be a fool, but he's our fool".

xp truth

Had a bag left over from a house party, assumed it was Lay's Sensations but no it turned out to be a very blatant bootleg. Exact same black background with poncey picture of the crisps and ingredients, but these were "Perfections" by something called Snackrite.

They weren't bad tbf!

Co op salt and vinegar will still give you instant heartburn and melt a layer of skin off the inside of your mouth. I love them.

I googled them, and it seems that Co-Op sells "Irresistible Hand Cooked Sea Salt & Chardonnay Wine Vinegar" crisps:
https://www.coop.co.uk/products/co-op-irresistible-sea-salt-chardonnay-wine-vinegar-crisps-150g

Chardonnay! At this point it's impossible to think of Chardonnay without thinking of Harry Enfield.

Of course, actual posh people call their children Chardonneigh.