Which of these crap rote derogatory nicknames for Premier League teams is the lamest?

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bitter football fans would be better served using the Fiver's over-elaborate ones, really. "Barcodes" seems like it shouldn't really be eligible given the lack of a weak pun, but no such poll is complete without Newcastle. I have never heard anyone say "poocastle" even though it is quite possible.

Would probably go with "Evernot" as the most desperate, with "Arse" as the best because it's kind of fair game, phonetically. That said, "I don't care if we get relegated as long as we beat the vile" is one of my favourite message board signatures ever, for sentimental reasons

Poll Results

Option	Votes
Chel$ki	4
Liverpoo/Liverplop	3
Manure	2
Wet Spam	1
Spuds	1
Man/Stoke/Hull Shitty	1
Barcodes	0
Arse	0
Evernot	0
Chavscum	0
The Vile	0
The Boggies	0

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:34 (sixteen years ago)

i actively use Manure and Liverpoo so although they are lame I can't go for them. Maybe Wet Spam.

― Blackout Crew are the Beatles of donk (jim), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:37 (sixteen years ago)

it's Wet Sham, dudes

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:37 (sixteen years ago)

"Liverplop" is a winning combination of having a massively juvenile word, and the massive redundancy of changing a syllable that already has the word "poo" in it to a different word for poo that doesn't really fit

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:39 (sixteen years ago)

Most of these I've learnt from the monobrowed twats that frequent Villatalk; regional over-entitled bunny boilers may vary

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:39 (sixteen years ago)

yeah i haven't heard more than half of these.

― Blackout Crew are the Beatles of donk (jim), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:40 (sixteen years ago)

what no Portsmuff

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:41 (sixteen years ago)

lamest one is "Shitty", obv.

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:41 (sixteen years ago)

Spuds is a witty one because Tottenham Hotspur's playing staff actually consists entirely of anthropomorphic potatoes

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:42 (sixteen years ago)

nothing can ever top Quarter Pounder Rubbish

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:42 (sixteen years ago)

Fulscum is popular with QPha fans.

Arsenil is another one. And I just today heard Arsen-anal.

Also: Rotten Ham.

― Pete W, Friday, 20 March 2009 15:45 (sixteen years ago)

I say Arse and don't mean it in a derogatory way, it's just easier. I also say Chels, and Fulham fans say Foo.

― Pete W, Friday, 20 March 2009 15:46 (sixteen years ago)

one f in fulham

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:48 (sixteen years ago)

arse an' anal

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:48 (sixteen years ago)

"terrible middlesbrough"

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:50 (sixteen years ago)

Arsene Anal is kind of like a prominent issue in the minds of Arsenal fans, let's face it

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:50 (sixteen years ago)

Gaping O'Neill Sluts

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:50 (sixteen years ago)

Pat Rice To Attention

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:52 (sixteen years ago)

Newcarsehole

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:52 (sixteen years ago)

I always think "Elephant and Carsehole" when I hear it on the tube, like one of those crap meaningless mental puns you can't get rid of

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:54 (sixteen years ago)

it IS like that!

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:54 (sixteen years ago)

it's harrowing, like for a couple of seconds I know how it feels to be Mark G

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:54 (sixteen years ago)

then there's cockfosters that you don't even need to make a pun for.

― Blackout Crew are the Beatles of donk (jim), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:54 (sixteen years ago)

Gonna have to go with the Liverpool ones as worst. Manure is a bit DJ Martian as well. The Arse is majestic.

― Matt DC, Friday, 20 March 2009 15:55 (sixteen years ago)

Peter Hill-Wood (you see!)

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:55 (sixteen years ago)

Clunge Street (Goodge Street!)

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:56 (sixteen years ago)

i have no idea who Barcodes is

Poortsmouth more like

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:56 (sixteen years ago)

if Jan Poortvliet makes the successful jump from Soton to Pompey then yeh

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:57 (sixteen years ago)

Barcodes = Newcastle innit.

― Matt DC, Friday, 20 March 2009 15:57 (sixteen years ago)

before performing the Redknapp Manoeuvre xp

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:58 (sixteen years ago)

Loon Army i said to them

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:58 (sixteen years ago)

How feeble minded the people of Newcastle are, that they are proud of their inferior sports team that can muster only a monochromatic barcode-like raiment to decorate themselves with!

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 15:59 (sixteen years ago)

and up in Lancashite, we got ourselves the Twatics and the Rotters aka Bolton Blunderers

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:00 (sixteen years ago)

when they play like that they should be BEHIND bars not wearing them

(i mean they should be in prison)

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:00 (sixteen years ago)

Supporters of Everton often complain excessively when their football team is not awarded decisions by the official! On many occasions their pleas for handball decisions are risible and easily dismissed by even the most intellectually limited neutral!

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:01 (sixteen years ago)

joey behindbarston

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:01 (sixteen years ago)

Portsmouth fans are all fucking insane!

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:01 (sixteen years ago)

^^otm

actually, Gaydicks >>> Twatics

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:02 (sixteen years ago)

Everindoubton

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:02 (sixteen years ago)

Don't know how LJ can hate on "Stoke Shitty", it's like peak-time Auden compared to most of these. I'm really WTFed out to know how to vote here. Thinking about "Barcodes" as it combines insipidity with I DON'T GET IT to maybe the greatest degree. "The Boggies" is pretty fucking desperate tho. Is "Chavscum" supposed to be Blackburn?

― Sorry I Dom-ed you, son (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:07 (sixteen years ago)

Who are "chavscum"?

― the innermost wee guy (onimo), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:08 (sixteen years ago)

For starters, the only acceptable way to refer to a team you hate is by inserting "Those Fucking" at the front of their name and "Cunts" at the end of it.

― Sorry I Dom-ed you, son (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:09 (sixteen years ago)

barcodes is obviously gettable and one of the better ones here, chavscum is quite clearly also chelsea, and "city" to "shitty" is k-rubbish

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:09 (sixteen years ago)

In the spirit of the crapness of the poll Blackburn = Blackbum?

― the innermost wee guy (onimo), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:09 (sixteen years ago)

(They) Burnblacks (up there)

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:10 (sixteen years ago)

Dull City

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:10 (sixteen years ago)

(The BNP have ward seats in Blackburn and Burnley!)

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:10 (sixteen years ago)

Cackburn

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:11 (sixteen years ago)

I'm not saying that I'm not surprised that you like laboured wordplay over brevity and meanness, LJ, but I'm certainly thinking it loudly.

― Sorry I Dom-ed you, son (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:12 (sixteen years ago)

I've heard United being replaced with Ushited, but it sounded a bit forced.

― the innermost wee guy (onimo), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:12 (sixteen years ago)

Chavscum should of said Chavski, have def heard the latter

was thinking of "redscum" et al at the time

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:12 (sixteen years ago)

I like Man Who.

― Blackout Crew are the Beatles of donk (jim), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:13 (sixteen years ago)

Depends on the club, NV. Palarse is the best one of these going tbh

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:13 (sixteen years ago)

Man Shitty is just timeless tho! Simple, elegant, classic.

― Sorry I Dom-ed you, son (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:14 (sixteen years ago)

btw when you go up next season i plan to call you "North Bromwich Albion" or maybe "Sheep"

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:15 (sixteen years ago)

You might like to try "Relegated By October" or "McCarthy Out".

― Sorry I Dom-ed you, son (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:17 (sixteen years ago)

"Team Iwelumo"

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:18 (sixteen years ago)

Nothing here to really compare to Partick Thistle Nil, tho.

― William Bloody Swygart, Friday, 20 March 2009 16:18 (sixteen years ago)

Palarse is the best one of these going tbh

I dunno, The Cottagers is pretty brutal and to the point.

― Matt DC, Friday, 20 March 2009 16:18 (sixteen years ago)

yeh i thought of that but it's real innit

― leigh exodus (country matters), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:19 (sixteen years ago)

Unfortunately I can't find a jpeg of Viz's one-off strip "The Raving Irons"

― Sorry I Dom-ed you, son (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:19 (sixteen years ago)

'the skunks' is more commonly used than 'the barcodes'

― vain_bowers, Friday, 20 March 2009 16:20 (sixteen years ago)

Actually I don't think it was Viz I think it was the only funny thing in some shitty Viz rip-off I bought once in the early 90s.

― Sorry I Dom-ed you, son (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:20 (sixteen years ago)

"Newcastlol" is more commonly used thant "the skunks" or "the barcodes".

― Sorry I Dom-ed you, son (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:21 (sixteen years ago)

"Whingeing Geordie cunts" is more commonly used than any of them.

― Matt DC, Friday, 20 March 2009 16:24 (sixteen years ago)

"kevin keegan's black and white army"

― \∫Öζ/.... argh oh noes! (ken c), Friday, 20 March 2009 16:25 (sixteen years ago)

Chel$cumchavski innit?

― Pete W, Friday, 20 March 2009 16:37 (sixteen years ago)

With the exception of Arse (which I wouldn't say is derogatory as their own fans use it), Chelski (which was kind of funny for five minutes a few years ago), and The Barcodes, I think those are all so lame it's worrying to imagine grown men using them (and then chuckling to themselves).

― Teh Movable Object (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Friday, 20 March 2009 17:00 (sixteen years ago)

I love it when people get so into this to the point where they literally never refer to rival teams by their actual names. it seems to go hand in hand with that whole thing of acting like fans of other teams actually are some different race of knuckle dragging troll people who communicate only in guttural noises

reminds me of the shelbyville vs springfield bits in the simpsons when they're all hating on each other so much they don't notice that they're two identical cities with cosmetic differences

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Friday, 20 March 2009 17:47 (sixteen years ago)

Spuds, but I've not heard most of these hilarious nicknames before!

― jel --, Friday, 20 March 2009 17:48 (sixteen years ago)

cottagers

― \∫Öζ/.... argh oh noes! (ken c), Friday, 20 March 2009 17:54 (sixteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Monday, 30 March 2009 23:01 (sixteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Tuesday, 31 March 2009 23:01 (sixteen years ago)

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