BOYS, was your first steady girlfriend an asshole?

this is so open right now

loooooool

well done

no! i'm talking to her on msn right now, in fact...no particularly hard feelings either way

hard

no hard. . . feelings

I'm a spinner (is that the male variant of a spinster?) and cannot vote in this poll.

http://dekerivers.files.wordpress.com/2007/03/i-voted.gif

no, she was really nice. I was a bit of an asshole.

No, she was nice, though I was a bit of an inattentive twat to her. I'm cooking her dinner next week after not having seen her for years, coincidentally (got back in touch via FB, natch).

No. She was pretty unstable though.

nah. i really didn't start dating assholes until my mid-20s for some reason. i think i got it out of my system though.

think we all know that asshole isn't the right word to use

naw def not. she was probably too nice.

cheated on me w/friends of mine = bitch

lol. good thread.

i vote a qualified no.

when she wasn't cheating on me she was crying and telling me how much she needed me = double-bitch

"cheated on me w/friends of mine = bitch"

How many friends? At the same time?

no, she was really nice. I was a bit of an asshole.
No, she was nice, though I was a bit of an inattentive twat to her.

we men

why does bitch feel righter than asshole here and is it a bad thing?

You all probably think this song is about you, don't you?

jeez dudes start the gay version already

"cheated on me w/friends of mine = bitch"

two - first one, then the other several months later

They don't sound like very good friends.

yeah yeah. altho one of them later repented and we made up and we are still fairly tight to this day. the other one's disappeared off my radar long ago

'asshole' = jerkwad, emotionally abusive
'bitch' = jerkwad, piece of trash

guys not handling the hurt!!

not really an asshole, but kinda crazy, and not the fun kind of crazy

the sad kind of crazy

"why does bitch feel righter than asshole here and is it a bad thing?"

thread connection:
Are there any men who do NOT want to have anal sex with their girlfriends?

Unstable is to first girlfriend as asshole is to first boyfriend, definitely.

are you bi?

yeah actually when i think about it the first girl i had a kinda serious-ish thing going with, who was seeing another guy at the time, in high school was totally unstable. High academic achievement but totally miserable, self-harmer etc.

to be fair, pretty much under the age of 18 is an unstable asshole

^This

She wasn't particularly nice, but I was worse to her no doubt.

my first girlfriend was really, really sweet and kind and sorta sad and i kinda put her on a pedestal which wasn't helpful. then she went to college and was a lesbian for a while (lol smith)

most of the unstable girls i've known were unstable 90% b/c of their boyfriends

pffffffffft

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51384D1PHPL._SL500_AA240_.jpg

most of the unstable girls i've known were unstable 90% b/c of their ]boyfriends parents

whoever started the myth that there is a "good crazy" when it comes to dating deserves to be dragged out into the street & shot imho.

crazy in the head, crazy in the bed.

i.e. sobbing uncontrollably next to you.

i said "fun kind of crazy," not "good crazy"

when it comes to dating, maybe. but a week-long dalliance = ok

re: good/fun/whatever crazy

mine was a sweetheart,and "good crazy",but i was confused as fuck at that time

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51SBJX4SG7L._SL500_AA240_.jpg

No. She was nuts though.

most of the unstable girls i've known were unstable 90% b/c of their boyfriends gender

Sorry, couldn't resist.

voted yes but this is more accurate

No. She was pretty unstable though.

― Alex in SF, Friday, March 20, 2009 2:08 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah but so was i. teenagers, what you'd expect.

i never dated an asshole

"was your first steady asshole a girlfriend"

Did you teach it how to talk?

First real gf's a real good egg and we still keep in touch occasionally. Never dated any assholes, really. One or two who were, let's say, highly drama prone, but that's been the extent of it.

Nah, she was A++

Yes, but in a charming unstable way.

Nope, I was the asshole.

She was for a while, but in the long run definitely not.

I'm a girl and my first steady girlfriend was a total asshole.

My first girlfriend dumped me shortly after my brother died so that she could date one of my best friends. Surprisingly, I do not consider her or the friend an asshole.

(mostly because we all talked this out decades ago plus we were all 15)

no, not an asshole. though she did turn anorexic and gay during our relationship.

I have an idea that the answers will depend largely on how young, or more exactly how immature, the poll-taker was at the time (excepting, of course, "I'm a girl" from this hypothesis).

She wasn't an asshole but I would say she inadvertently did some damage. I think she lives in the same town as me but I haven't spoken to her in 17 or 18 years.

how long is 'steady'? either way, no they were all lovely. why go out with them otherwise?

darragh, you are being unbelievably, and likely deliberately, obtuse.

and yes, mine was a total cunt.

obtuse in asking how long, or obtuse in saying they were all nice!

obtuse for asking why people go out with assholes, which of course, no one does deliberately.

my "first steady girlfriend" came quite late, and although she provided me with what i still consider to be the happiest moments of my life, she ultimately treated with an unforgivable degree of disdain in her departure from my. i therefore, on balance, consider her to be a cunt.

analysing relationships in terms of the breakup, yeah they were all terrible people. on balance though, i think i'd happily have a drink with any of them today.

My first gf was a very difficult person through no fault of her own, and it feels unfair of me to hold my mistreatment against her since she's been officially diagnosed as bipolar.

Still, I voted yes.

I need to lay off the angry chicks, goddamn.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

no of course not but voted 'i'm a girl'

i don't know if i'd describe her as an asshole but she was definitely the worst girlfriend i ever had

I never really had a girlfriend. I don't care so much in retrospect but that summer camp love image seems nice. I admittedly suck at making any effort to meet girls and I'm also picky as far as girlfriend material, one night stand material is different.
I cant vote in this poll :/

CaptainLorax needs to start speaking to the LADIES instead of the trees

There's a chick around town who rumor has it fucked a tree u want me to hook u up?

CaptainLorax needs to start speaking to the LADIES instead of the trees

― CaptainLorax, Wednesday, March 25, 2009 8:16 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

a++++++++

acted all sweetness and light but dogged me behind my back and then went out with my best friend/cousin a month later

yeah, your cousin/best friend is the asshole though

Actually, yes, "asshole" probably describes her pretty well. As well as shallow and superficial. My first serious girlfriend was an insecure and highly neurotic girl who treated pretty much everyone like shit. But she was extremely hot and she was into me, so that was enough for me to fall madly in love with her in my younger and more stupid days. I'll spare you all the horrific little details that came with dealing with her on a day-to-day basis (she was so insecure with herself that she had to point out the shortcomings on everyone she ever met), but the capper came when our relationship was starting to fizzle. Rather than simply breaking up with me, she orchestrated this ridiculous scheme in which she could accuse me of cheating on her with one of her friends. It didn't work, but it was finally enough to see that she was batshit and I needed to be far, far away from her.

YES, she went around telling people I couldn't kiss. Dragged me out for a day with her parents and then next day dumped me for someone else.

a slight comfort return many years later tho when she tried to get back with me, and i flat just turned her down.

ive never had a steady girlfriend...are they nice?

better than unsteady ones. went out with a girl once, she had to wear corrective shoes.

was she on the level?

she swung both ways, actually

Ste, I'm sure you might be a good kisser

she was just being an sucky butt

better than unsteady ones. went out with a girl once, she had to wear corrective shoes.

― Anthony, I am not an Alcoholic & Drunk (darraghmac),

i nearly choked in my wine reading that.

I really can’t fault her at all. She did dump me, at the time, but I don’t blame her.
Most sane girl I’ve dated to this day.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

i'm kind of surprised by this actually as all young people are crazy narcissistic assholes to some degree regardless of gender

you ppl are too nice

hoos, maybe that makes us more forgiving?

Maybe. It's like I said upthread I forgive Kristen for her difficulties because they were borne of hereditary chemical imbalance, but it doesn't mean she wasn't an asshole to me.

To be fair I did leave out the part about how she broke up with me by phone because she felt "God wants me to be single for a while" and was dating a frequently-previously-namedropped guy within the month.

a day's a hell of a while to be single you know.

I might have been an asshole at to my first boyfriend at the end of our relationship. I basically broke up with him because I wanted to make out with other boys but I was 17 and away at college etc. At least I broke up with him first though rather than going behind his back. I guess it was still kind of a crappy thing to do.

enbb, that was the right thing to do. like you saidm at least you broke up with him 1st.
the crappy thing to do would have been to stay with him amd mess around.

vindicated!

more of a shithead than an asshole tbf

yes : 38

aww you poor barstewards

tho the same point stands as in the 'dick move' thread- assholish behaviour before 25 (particularly in romantic dealings) is practically standard procedure.