DO NOT OVERCOOK: Self-Righteous Food-prep Instructions That Scold, Beg, or Otherwise Throw Some Attitude

I'm getting kinda sick of this nonsense. Look, I'll overcook yr damned canned/frozen shit if I feel like it! It's not THAT fucking special!

http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/2661/ravioli.jpg

http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/9513/soupo.jpg

Hahah I dont think Ive ever seen that on packaged food instructions, apart maybe from the "take care as steam may be hot" kind of cautions.

ha, that second one is amy's, i'd recognize that warning anywhere

did you defiantly overcook it?

"do not overcook this already over-processed sloppy bag o'crap"

I did actually defiantly overcook a can of Amy's squash soup yesterday and it was still pretty good. It was all fucking bubbling up to the pot lid and shit. Take that, you overgrown can of soup!

I wish I could find the original text of Carroll Shelby's Chili Mix, before Kraft Foods bought them out. One of the steps was "If you're fixing to feed any sissies or little kids, don't add the small red packet, which is cayenne pepper." I think the directions still try to be folksy, but they took out the slam at sissies.

I think I have bought the ravioli pictured in the first image! I defiantly brusquely dumped the ravioli into rapidly boiling water, and it tasted just fine.

I thought this was going to be about instructions in recipes. I'm always annoyed by recipes that do this:

1. Do <really complicated and high stakes cooking process>, being careful not to <overcook/leave too long/otherwise fuck it up>.

2. Meanwhile, do <other really complicated thing, seemingly at the same time.>

Yeah I hate recipes that start with an instruction that you could really do later on, and then go on to "meanwhile spend 40 mins doing this other thing so you forget the first one and it goes cold/burns/gets eaten by the cat"

I have found it is best to just read recipes, then do yr own thing anyway.

^^ it can be about that, too! The recipe instructions that get me is when they use terms for processes I don't know that I have to look up.

There's a prize for the person who can find one that fits on both this and the passive-aggressive notes thread.

I'm sure there's some gently schoolmarmish Delia or Martha recipe that is just that!

Some of Stephanie Alexander's recipes take a bit of a 'tone', as though without her cautionary language you're at risk of completely ruining her superfantastic recipes. V.bossy. To the point where she will specifically dictate the kind of pot you have to cook something in. Like you can't just use a saucepan. It has to be a cast iron dutch oven, even if it's for something that isn't going in the frakking oven. (Don't get me wrong, I love a dutch oven as much as anyone, but I just pity the poor sap who goes out and buys one just to make her (insert name) sauce)

And I really hate instructions like 'day old sourdough breadcrumbs'. They're breadcrumbs, I'll use whatever damn bread I like.

I got her bloody cooking bible for xmas years back and tbh I never use it :/ Her recipes and ways are needlessly complex and sometimes arcane (fresly slaughtered goose and whatever, I dont live on a bloody farm).

tbh there is something to be said for live poultry. there's a place near my apartment that will slaughter the chicken while you wait, and i'm pretty sure roasting one of those would be much much more delicious than a purdue motherfucker.

could be wrong, and i'm sure they're treated HORRIBLY.

I'd like to think so, for sure! But the cost...

An abattoir on Bridge Rd behind her "Cafe Larder" would explain a lot...