52 lies you just made up about pizza

1. pepperoni can become toxic if overheated in a microwave
2. the sugar in many canned pizza sauces is proven effective against acne

3. soaking leftover pizza crusts in brine overnight will create dough that can be used for pastry

4. if the base and the cheese are good enough, you can top a pizza with anything

4a. Legos are delicious

5. The average slice of pizza has about 50 calories.

6. If you place a pizza on a record turntable and play it, it will perform Aphex Twin's "Analord XXI"

7. Cold plain pizza placed on a bruise will help bring swelling down

8. Pizza originated in Italy, but the type of pizza most of us eat today was invented in Mississippi.

9. William S. Burroughs was interred in a man-sized calzone

10. Pizza is a commonly-used topical analgesic in Somalia

11. Pizza is your friend.

12. "za" is a commonly used short form of the word "pizza"

The word "Pizza" is derived from the old Neapolitan street slang "Pis-Za" which means "circle dinner".

xp HA!

14. In Morocco and other parts of northern Africa where tomatoes are scarce, pizza is often made with mashed dates instead of tomato sauce.

15. Before pizza was invented, people used to order bowls of fresh Scott's porridge to their door.

16. If you drink Coke and milk mixed together, you die.

(note: this is not directly related to pizza)

4. if the base and the cheese are good enough, you can top a pizza with anything

― Stop relegating Hull you miserable gits! (country matters),

After reading that other thread, I can believe that you would try...

17 - If you remove the stuffed crust from a pizza, you can use the cheese inside as bath sealant.

Grouting Without Pouting

I can also believe that an "LJ pizza" would look like the cover of "Let It Bleed", except with a pizza instead of cake...

18. sex is like pizza

www.bigsausagepizza.com

18. sex is like pizza

The more sauce the better?

You pay more for extra cheese?

because unless you qualify it somehow, "sex is like pizza" is like something the mad hatter would say after a couple teacups of hooch

"Why is a snatch like a sausage and black olive special?"

7. Cold plain pizza placed on a bruise will help bring swelling down

― Surmounter, Monday, 23 March 2009 13:58 (1 hour ago)

IS TRUTH
I KNOW IT

see my link, kenan.

Oh, I've seen it. :/

in that case you should have known the answer to 18.

You're so LITERAL! Just let the pizza wash over you.

19. The chemical reaction between the yeast of most pizza crust and the acids of the tomatoes in the sauce above it creates a strong anti-oxidant agent that has killed many forms cancer in recent studies.

Is this some kind of card trick?

no, B-52s parody.

20. Spies for the resistance movement in Italy during Mussolini's reign would communicate with resistance fighters through coded messages... etched in the crispy thin crust of hand-tossed zas and then concealed from view with fresh and delicious marinara sauce.

A+

21. The world's most expensive pizza was the 18" Cosa Nostra Special ("A little of everything with a fried egg on top") served by the Cosa Nostra Takeaway of Beverley Road, Hull between 1986 and 1993. It cost £8.99, although delivery was an extra quid if you lived more than 2 miles from the shop.

22. Julius Caesar's favourite pizza was the Mexicana.

23 The first ever Pizza Hut was opened by Al Capone in 1932 as a front for an illicit speakeasy

24. Contrary to popular belief, the term 'pizza' does not come from the old country, though the dish does (in Italy, it used to be called 'il multiplicatofiore'). The name derives from nineteenth century Italian-American immigrant restaurateurs, who would serve the dish to customers as a way to get rid of all of the expired and near-rancid ingredients left over in their kitchens (they'd hide it under the cheese). When asked what the dish was, the cooks would inevitably say, "It's the pits-a!," meaning the lowest of the low, food only fit for American swine. The customers, unable to understand the Italian-American argot, remained unoffended, and the name stuck.

25. The round shape of a pizza stems from the ancient belief that the fewer edges a geometric shape has, the more holy. A circle has one edge, making pizza a purely sanctified food. Likewise, when dividing a pizza, one must always cut slices and never rectangles, since a slice has only three edges and a rectangle has four. Pizza cut into rectangles is seen as a horrifying blasphemy among purists.

g00blar with a+++++ factoid writing tone

(among a very strong field)

yes, he is to be emulated.

26. The video game Pacman was inspired by the eating of pizza. The game's creator was at a restaurant and noticed the shape of a pizza with once slice removed. He then noticed some notes on a table next to his saying "Pieface Game Concept" and used the waiter to create a distraction in order to steal said notes.

27. Oliver Cromwell banned pizza.

28. Astronauts enjoy a powder form of pizza when in space. Every single one has returned to Earth claiming it to be superior to the original form. Landlubbers remain sceptical and indeed Buzz Aldrin was recently executed for refusing to budge on the subject.

29. Pizza has been "in the wars" over the years. During a football match between Arsenal and Manchester Utd a few years ago a fracas between the teams at half-time led to slices of the greasy peasant food being flung in the face of Arsene Wenger by a dirty filthy little bear.

30. "Pizza" is commonly mistaken to be a prominent member of Wu-Tang Clan

31. I just ordered six pizzas.

32. a pizza a day keeps the doctor away

33. Scientists hope one day to split the pizza atom in order to create a new form of 'clean' energy. Professor Millington of the US Institute of Pizza-techtonics believes that a breakthrough could be a matter of months away, and is hoping to make good use of his Dominos loyalty card. Recent internet rumours that the splitting of the pizza atom could lead to the destruction of life as we know it have been rebuked by the USIPT, "It's ridiculous to make such claims that something as good and wholesome as a pizza could cause such devastation" a spokesman told reporters outside the Institutes base in Toldeo, Ohio.

aren't items like 33, 26, 24 etc actually SEVERAL lies about pizza? we should really be probably closer to 40 or 45 by now.

34. The convention of placing salted anchovies on pizza began when a respected Manhattan pizza chef let his 7 year-old son invent the latest addition to his menu. What the son actually wrote was "slugs" but the chef cunningly exchanged these for their closest edible doppelgangers.

35. "Baby, I swear it's not you, it's the pizza."

Lolling at this thread

36. During Mussolini's rule in the 1930s his chef Baz, tired of his lazy zings about his funny white hat and moustache, would often inscribe the legend "cazzo merda" on the base of the pizza, using a makeshift stencil plate to literally burn the latters into the base. Mussolini never noticed the hurtful message but later came to regret his treatment of the chef and sought his forgiveness. The two became firm friends and we can really learn a thing or two from them imo.

37. William Faulkner's favorite pizza topping? Tiny pizzas.

omg me too

38. one slice of plain pizza has infinitely more protein than a 16oz porterhouse steak

39. During Mussolini's rule in the 1930s his chef Baz, tired of his lazy zings about his funny white hat and moustache, would often inscribe the legend "casu marzu" on the base of the pizza, using a makeshift stencil plate to literally burn the latters into the base. Mussolini never noticed the hurtful message but later came to regret his treatment of the chef and sought his forgiveness. The two became firm friends and we can really learn a thing or two from them imo.

40. We all laughed when in The Simpsons lawyer Lionel Hutz promised the Simpson family a free pizza if he lost their case, intending to offer them merely an empty pizza box. Fans of the show have speculated for years about whether Hutz obtained the box without a pizza or whether he paid for a pizza with his own money, ate it and retained the box for this particular situation at a later date.

41. During the Pelopenisian War, one of the earliest examples of trench warfare gave rise to the pizza. The Greeks, and not the Romans, created the circular, inclusive food form as a way of easily tranferring food -by throwing, like a discuss - to the forward lines. The throwers of the food would later find glory in the Olympics.

42. Pizza is fucking awful

43. Rasputin's pizza was pickled in a jar after his death.

somethingtywhatever: All Pizza is Kosher.

45. papa johns was originally a norwegian restaurant chain specializing in venison called papa jans. in 1989 it was bought by dow chemical and rebranded as a delivery pizza operation. in norway they still offer a pizza "the hunters special" which is topped with venision peperoni.

46. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Pizza, that whosoever believeth in it should not perish, but have everlasting life.

47 - Deep dish pizza with roasted turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie is the traditional sicilian thanksgiving dinner.

48 - In certain areas of the UK, melted chocolates and a whole f**king wheel of Camembert are acceptable toppings for pizza.

those pizzas would also be deep-fried, correct?

yes, and only sold to school children.

49. Did you know: If you stacked up every single pizza consumed by the state of Nevada in a single week, the pizza-stack could reach the moon - and back!

50, 99.5% of Pizza's aren't pizzas

51. The small packages of crushed red pepper and parmesan cheese that come with some takeaway pizza were invented for Howard Hughes, who did not want to touch condiment dispensers that could have germs.

52. this thread is funny

that has nothing to do with pizza.

mentioning the thread about pizza makes it about pizza

53 - this thread was going to have 52 lies about pizza

[too meta - thread collapsing within itself]

well we've come up with more than 52 actual pizza-related lies, so I guess we can just move on, can't we?

you're going to have to run it by the boss.

54. Among Tibetan monks, the most popular topping is yak.

I swear this was way funnier at 9am with the first rush of caffeine.

i somehow missed #20 earlier so apologise profusely for #36