Greeting etiquette, one kiss or two

Lately I've noticed that no matter which option you pick when greeting a good friend whom you might kiss on the cheek to show your platonic polite liking for, inevitably you encounter someone who has chosen the other.

How do you get around this? I am sick of feeling like either a backward dyed in the wool one kissing Paddy or some just off the boat "I'm not Irish" European wanker. Assuming this is what two kiss/one kiss people think.

Do you always do two kisses? Do you always do one? Or none, none is an option too.

lol the Greek Cypriot side of my family

hate it when i try to make a dignified retreat after one only to flail like richard dreyfuss in jaws as i get dragged back under for another. PLS WIMMIN ONE IS ENOUGH.

http://strangemaps.wordpress.com/2007/12/02/210-french-kissing-map/

I saw this map on QI. It's good!

http://strangemaps.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/kissing-map1.jpg

No 5 kiss regions then?

I have a dutch friend who does 3. Or sometimes 2. Or 1. Or none. Greeting her is always a terrifying ordeal wonderful surprise.

move to the states, problem solved

how do people greet in the states? a hard spank to the rear followed by a steak?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_hCtXNDGAhxI/SB61V4XqdqI/AAAAAAAAARA/IMgfOFgwWDs/s400/556301623_0ff0c25c4f_m.jpg

A friendly blasting of handgun into the air.

i live in a french city so 2

1 in the states, i feel

yeah, definitely 1

NO KISS

that too

How do you do it? You pepper them with a blitzkrieg of kisses so any direction they could choose will be right!

just the one

huh

2 in Belarus, 1 in the caboose
2 in Angola, 1 in the hole-a
2 in Syria, 1 in the rear-ia
2 in the U.K., 1 in the poo-way

cannot compute "French Kissing" map

2 in Morocco, one in the grotto

looooool to abbott

ahah, I'm french and the map is pretty accurate I must say !
It's pretty difficult to know following where you are/where the people you kiss come from.
Most of the times, people just say how many they will do when they get confused.
Since I live in Paris it's only 2.
The thing I love is when I'm introduced to foreigners (girls since greeting kisses between guys - which I do - is a whole other topic) and they panic, sometimes even saying "no I don't do that, sorry" !

no, the only people who do greeting kisses in the states are gay men and the pretentious

And ILXors and everyone else I know? They can't ALL fall under "pretentious". Some of them are very nice.

the only people i know who do this are very and pretentious

very NICE and pretentious

everyone you know does this laurel?!

laurel knows me and i dont do this

There may be some exceptions -- it's true that I've met max two or three times and I can't remember if we cheek-kissed or not. But basically I think everyone else does it. If I let them. Some people, I stick with the handshake.

max just hits u with the full french snog then lasers ur brain so u forget it ever happened

well max, you do now. ypost

GET USED TO IT BUDDY

http://blogs.trb.com/sports/football/jets/blog/simpsons_handshake.jpg

how do people greet in the states? a hard spank to the rear followed by a steak?

― Local Garda, Tuesday, March 24, 2009 8:20 AM (4 hours ago)

http://loveforlife.com.au/files/handshake2.jpg

man i did the most embarrassing thing over the weekend. was in a loud bar and a friend introduced me to this polish girlfriend of hers. after we shook hands she asked me to repeat my name and leant forward to (i assume) hear me better, but i misunderstood and went straight in for the continental two kiss. she turned around to her friend and i heard her say "ok..." chandler from friends style.

ahah, the kind of awkward greeting kisses moments I like !

x-post see this is the kind of thing I started this thread for!

I am kind of surprised at people saying they never greet anyone with a kiss. If we have people over for dinner or like if I'm greeting a close female friend or whatever it would be sort of weird or maybe rude not to kiss them I think. That specific situation, couples I know whom I'm friends with or whatever, doing something like having a meal, it seems part of the whole "can I take your coat" etc greeting.

Not everyone but you know, some people are more comfortable with physical greetings than others.

well, you can have a physical greeting without the kisses : for instance, in sweden, it's a one arm hug (but without cheek contact).

sometimes i touch people's shoulder when saying goodbye. that's weird.

xp
^yes this i do. have never kissed or been kissed

by no means everybody in the uk, even middle-class girls (gwan let's make this a class thing) does it. but for those who do: just the one.

^^^ bro hug is good times

i kiss but i only do it when i'm in latin america/spain. Scotland needs no kisses.

1 kiss even

Only person I know in London who does this is Greek, and she does one kiss.

This thread cracks me up.

M.White method - double exchange of headwear, interspersed with elbow-knocking

everybody in the world occasionally greets somebody with a kiss, don't be stupid nrq, or make it a class thing. whether they do it often or all the time may be a matter for debate but seriously...

x-post why is everyone assuming this thread is "EVERYTIME YOU GREET SOMEONE AND HENCE HAVE TO KISS THEM, AS YOU DO EVERY SINGLE TIME, HOW MANY TIMES SHOULD YOU DO THIS" and not "when you are greeting someone you greet with a kiss, how many kisses do you do"

isn't the most important thing to avoid the appearance of hesitancy and nervousness? jump in with both feet and tongues and wrap your legs round em and it's just like that's how we do things where im from.

fistbump just mows through all stilted confusion

Tell me about this "fuck hugging"...

i had an acquaintance with not a small beard who dealt with this ambiguity by hugging EVERYONE hello and goodbye with beard action all in your neck. he was not well liked.

I don't really fist bumb anymore. I interact w/ professional types and it just wouldn't fly, plus it feels too much like teenage bro shit besides. On top of that, when you go for a simple fist bump and the bumpedd tries to do like four different motions is THEE most awkward. And fuck shaking hands with a close friend.

parents: kiss and hug
brother: handshake and hug
female relative: kiss, most times a hug too
male relative: handshake (uk side), kiss (italian side)
female friend: kiss into a hug
male friend: handshake into a hug
female acquaintance: sometimes a handshake, sometimes a kiss
male acquaintance: handshake

My mum's half-italian so I think some of the euro approach has percolated into this ie. I always kiss my dad at greeting which is not the standard for uk males (ime). All my italian relatives are enthusiastic both-cheek kissers, male or female, so I've no option there as basically get grabbed on sight.

ZS otm about that weird transitional period with male friends between a handshake and hug; the boyfriend of one of my wife's best friends has been off the scene for a while, but if we meet as a group then he's straight into the hugging which feels a bit "too soon, dude" to me as we're strictly on acquaintance level terms. Maybe one day he'll be in the handshakey-huggy inner circle, but not yet...

a friend of a friend i met kissed me on the neck as a departing gesture last night, v unusual.

Drunk?

Amorous?

Just bad aim?

THIS is what gets 170 replies here?

don't think drunk, possibly. it didn't seem by accident as it was quite low on my neck, could have been flirtatious, not sure. could be cultural differences, she is chinese.

That almost makes me miss kissing. Almost. Or necks. It's hard to tell this soon.

Next time you see her, LG, kiss her elbow.

This is the most local garda circa 09 thread ever

Does anyone ever go for a hug the first time they meet someone? This seems weird to me but IME is common among 40+ women, especially if they are someone's mother. Now granted if I just meet someone and we hit it off and it is clear we are prob gonna be pals/hang out again, a hug is fine when departing, but like "Hi, I'm Cynthia *HUG*" is a bit... idk, startling a bit.

yeah departure hugs and kisses are quite common, but a greeting hug would be weird.

This is the most local garda circa 09 thread ever

haha i didn't know i had a style...

handshake or head nod only. hugging and kissing as a greeting is fake and annoying.

idk man, the world is a big place

not at all, it's warm and frequently honest.

is fake

??

only posers hug

hugging and kissing is for your immediate family or partner. hugging/kissing friends and acquaintances is assuming a closeness you don't have. i'm in the US so this type of greeting here seems really fake, as in the closeness you're assuming by the super intimate greeting is not reflective on the type of relationship you have with that person. it also makes me think the person doing it is desperate to appear more european. i will only hug my immediate female relatives, handshakes for male relatives. kisses are for my wife. there's no reason to ever greet someone with a kiss on the cheek who isn't your relative.

these are just my opinions. other people have expressed theirs.

what if their cheek is made of irresistible candy

didn't you read that article about sugar? so dangerous.

(more seriously, you are assuming a gigantic amount re: the amount of closeness ppl feel towards some of their friends; esp. considering the dudes who were there for me when my brother died, withholding hugs from them feels faker than hugging)

lol at all but okay this: "the closeness you're assuming by the super intimate greeting is not reflective on the type of relationship you have with that person" makes me think you must not like any of your friends all that much?

also

it also makes me think the person doing it is desperate to appear more european.

uh just...what?

i do have close friends that i will hug upon greeting if it's been a long time since we last saw each other. i don't feel the need to hug/kiss a friend to prove to them how much i like them.

xp That's so arbitrary it kind of reminds me of when I had a boyfriend who called bad things "gay" and I told him to find another descriptive word for that and he choose "Turkish." Turkish? Ooooookay, but...you know what, just never mind.

you only have to abide by your rules though right? my preferences shouldn't really bother you.

Of course, I just think you're being weird.

brotherlovesdubhateshugging

i used to hug more often but now i've realized i don't enjoy it unless i'm really comfortable with that person. kissing never occurs to me, like at all. but i'm generally repressed and from a midwest-style don't-touch-me culture so i realize it's different for everyone. xp

when people kiss on the cheek here, in salt lake city, utah, it can look like a gambit to appear more cosmopolitan or "european" or whatever you want to call it. depends on the person and, uh, the projection.

xp exactly, i've been guilty of hugging to prove to someone how much i like them rather than letting my conversation/actions show it.

(I kind of get what you're saying, it just seems kind of... dunno, cold? Dogmatic? Basically I hug ppl who hug me and shake hands with ppl who shake my hand; the appearance isn't as important as completing the ritual.)

what's wrong with just saying hello? why must you prove how much you like the other person by a hug or kiss or a hug and a kiss or a hug and two kisses? just say hello. anything else seems weird to me. i don't push people away when they move in for a hug but i won't initiate it, unless it's a relative or close friend i haven't seen for a while.

haha you should do a Street Fighter-style uppercut on them when they swoop in, then chide them on letting their guard down

Because it's not proving anything, it's something I enjoy. Hugging is, at least; I don't care about cheek-kisses as anything more than a social gesture.

I think it's weird that you START judging this from a place where all physical show of affection is put on for someone else's benefit.

I think I said this on another thread but I really like to start social interactions with some sort of physical cue, whether it be touching the other person via hug or handshake, or some gesture/wave/physical acknowledgment; not doing so makes me feel unsettled.

I think that thread was pro-handshake in general and I am on that team, for introductions to new people.

yeah, i don't mind a physical cue at all!* i just probably won't initiate it. i used to feel like i had to do something and since i've realized i don't i'm generally more comfortable and able to connect when saying hello.

*except back/shoulder pats, which will immediately make me want to stab your eyes out.

http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/RVP.gif

O2O

Is the proper European cheek kiss just the simulacrum of a kiss, an air smooch very near the cheek, but not by any means on it? I feel like on the rare times I interact with European peoples their cheek kisses never actually touch my cheek, while I am so concentrating on getting it right that I overdue it and actually make contact.

Lol, Local Garda, she's probably wondering why you didn't reciprocate with a lower-neck kiss of your own. Everyone knows that's the custom in China.

i used to know this greasy & like, not handsome or charming at all ostensibly russian guy who would say "russians kiss three times" & do a three kiss greeting when he greeted girls & i always felt bad for them reluctantly complying

It's not a proper kiss on the cheek, Virginia. It's cheek to cheek + air kiss.

being kissed/kissing someone on the neck is my #1 fav kiss all time but if u were to do it consistently as a greeting u should be prepared for 99% of all ppl u greet to never speak to you again/slap u immediately

Ah, but that 1%!

:-)

In Holland it's three kisses, when meeting people you know and like (or dislike but unfortunately are tied to, ie. lol family). Cue uncomfortable "Do I go left-right-left or right-left-right" hilarity). The hug between male friends is more awkward; you just do it with some, and not with others. I kiss my brother and hug him too, but there's not a lot of kissing-on-greeting going on between males here, that's for sure.

Is it ever not an air kiss, like do a mother and son upon greeting do an air kiss too?

If it's just an air kiss, why are people getting so freaked out about it?

I saw Dr. Morbius kiss someone on the lips by way of greeting last night.

Air kisses are for the posh and annoying tbh