HEY JEWS

Pesach is upon us. Who up in this bitch is keeping Kosher for Passover?

Nope. My excuse is that my wife wouldn't tolerate it, but really it's me, not her.

Yep. With family for Passover and they're huge kosher-keepers, so we're also kosher-keepers by default.

I'm all for eating some matzah, but no way I'm koshering my kitchen.

Also: not actually Jewish, so technically not obligated to do shit.

i'm invited to a house for passover where they'll be drinking and smoking lots of trees

Haha, ditto. Possibly the same one.

What does koshering actually involve, anyway? I'm vaguely aware of boiling water and possibly some earth or dirt or something? I know you can kosher stainless steel sinks and dishwashers etc but not ceramic or enamel ones. It must be enough of a pain that people cover their counters for Passover rather than deal with it.

strut around with a candle looking for leavened shit

Okay so I read this thread title to the tone/pace of the sample starting Front 242's 'Welcome to Paradise.'

xxp

My parents fill their sinks with boiling water, then drop a burning hot brick into the water in the sink until it overflows on the counter. I think that's how they kasher their sinks. I know one guy who uses a blowtorch.

whoa

Oh yeah. You can't really blow-torch the Corian, can you. I guess I assumed you'd have to get a rabbi in for the ritual re-purification. Is that actually a DIY project? Cool!

We got offered a couple of really cheap apartments in a Lubavitch nabe, until they found out my roomie has a dog. But I specified that we wouldn't be a religious household, or keep kosher, and they were like, whatever, we can take care of that. So...really? The oven, too?

Self-cleaning oven.

And yeah, this stuff can all be done DIY style. As long as you know the laws, there's nothing you need a Rabbi for.

Awesome. I do love the endless ingenuity, practical AND theological.

I'm celebrating Passover by saying something about it on the internet.

we have some matzah in the house and will probably be going to a seder. I don't bother with the kosherness, I ain't wandering in any stupid desert.

i really like passover, am i crazy?

no its usually my fave

i bought kosher for passover coke yesterday. it's delicious.

ooh nice

it's like thanksgiving, in april, without bread

OH SHIT PASSOVER COKE. Need.

I am going to a seder (my first), but because the hostess can't do it on the usual night(s), we're doing it on the 18th. Pseudo-seder. But I'm still psyched. Might try to sort of keep kosher-ish just to see what it's like.

Ooooh and I'm in charge of making charoset for the pseudo-seder, so recipes pls!

lol i read that coke thing really wrong.
xposts

Also: how much hebrew vs. english at your seder?

I never understood why anything other than unleavened bread is necessary though? I mean no bread as a symbol/reminder of events passed makes sense, keeping kosher out of respect for the period I can see, but, like not being allowed to eat corn? What's up with that?

um are you unfamiliar with the passover story or what

oh snap

During Passover, Jews refrain from eating chometz: anything that contains barley, wheat, rye, oats, and spelt, and is not cooked within 18 minutes after coming in contact with water. No leavening is allowed. This signifies the fact that the Hebrews had no time to let their bread rise as they made a hurried escape from Egypt.
Jews of different backgrounds do not observe all of the same rules. Ashkenazi Jews, who come from Europe (most Jews in America), also avoid corn, rice, peanuts, and legumes as they are also used to make bread and may have other grains mixed in. These items are known as kitniyot.

I thought it was anything that swells in contact with water? Or something like that. No corn syrup, in any case, which gives us delicious REAL SUGAR COKE.

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chometz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chometz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. This is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Which brings us to another category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chometz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

The Smak (Rabbi Moshe of Kouchi, 13th century, France) explains that products of kitniyot appear like chometz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chometz). Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot was prohibited.

I'm throwing myself in with the Sephardic camp this year.

Take a Hot Dog
and make it Kosher

Oh makes more sense, and yes, I know the story, but I'm wondering why go so much further than just bread, I mean, Matzah is just unleavened bread, still has wheat in it and all, it's not like they didn't have enough time to cook pasta when escaping Egypt.

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

Which is to say, eating corn is a long ways away from letting bread rise.

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

Don't eat that - EAT THIS

passover is a great holiday.
G R E A T

BUT, the Haggadahs have not arrived in the mail from my grandfather yet and I'm also getting a bit nervous about seating... also, anyone have a good veggie matzoh ball soup recipe? vegetarians certainly won't eat teh brisket.

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

apparently quinoa is ok.

good to qui-know-a

Seven days of quinoa and matzah sounds . . . constipating.

Can we turn this thread also into a list of all of the awesome things about being jewish in general?

1. Chosen people.
2. Latkes

3. Talmud

4. hot sabbath sex

5. Neuroses

6. control of the media/money

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

― quincie, Monday, April 6, 2009 11:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This may explain my increased secularism that started around the time I became vegetarian.

6. Noodle kugel

We are all god in this scenario

66% of israeli jews want trump to win, while 72% of jewish americans support harris. the gap is widening and it’s a real problem. as is the decision by nominally liberal jewish groups to continue their support full-throated support of israel as it descends even further into fashyland

sources:
https://www.timesofisrael.com/liveblog_entry/poll-shows-israelis-massively-favor-trump-over-harris-in-us-election/

https://jewishdems.org/new-jewish-voter-poll-harris-72-vs-trump-25/

https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/is-it-time-for-compassionate-judaism-to-split-with-vengeful-racist-judaism/?_gl=1*vki0h9*_ga*MjA3NjUwOTg3MC4xNzQ3NzAxNjAy*_ga_RJR2XWQR34*czE3NDkxNDE3ODMkbzUkZzEkdDE3NDkxNDE4MDkkajM0JGwwJGgw

I was surprised to see this in The Times of Israel. The subhead is almost verbatim a thought I have had a lot in the last few years:

"I wonder how my synagogue, day school, and summer camp can be part of the same movement as people who joyfully sing 'Death to the Arabs'"

Never read the comments as a rule but really really don’t read the comments on that article :/

Nothing I haven't seen before. Same old tired arguments. "You don't even practice real Judaism." "We have more kids."

yeah, just so dispiriting to see someone coming from that world making even the slightest attempt to take a step back and say "is this really who we are?" and everyone immediately jumps down their throat with so many crap arguments - self-hating jew, whataboutism, you're weak, etc etc.

So... I'm not Jewish, but my wife is and we're raising our kids that way and we go to a reform temple for special occasions but not regularly. In all the times that I've been there since Oct. 7th, there hasn't been a lot of acknowledgement of what's going on apart from sorrow and prayers immediately after (my kid's bat mitzvah was on Oct. 7th) and every service the rabbi thanks cops and firefighters and the soldiers in Israel and the INNOCENT Palestinians. Which has always rankled me. Who decides innocence? Why not make that distinction for the Israeli soldiers that are innocent and not bother praying for the rotten ones? There have been comments about the antisemitic student protestors without acknowledging what the protestors are protesting.

There's not a more liberal temple in town that I know of, and my wife's family has roots in the temple as long as Jewish people have been in the area. My wife and kids are on the same page as me, but are my expectations misplaced? Is a temple service not the place to address this? I realize the rabbi is trying to lead a diverse congregation and a lot of them are old and pro-Israel. As time goes on, I wonder more and more if we have a place there but that's not really my place to say.

Part of me wants to speak directly to the rabbi, who I get along with well enough, and ask him WTF? Maybe I should talk to my mother-in-law and get her take on it. She goes regularly and is not a zionist.

Has anyone left their temple over this? It's probably safe to assume that our temple sends money to Israel. I don't know what I'm trying to say or if this is the right thread to ask about it. I know our temple does a lot of good in our community, I just.... How the hell can anyone be on board with this?

It's a hard issue. I was raised in a Israel is always right synagogue long ago (and would not want that now) and only in more recent years have been occasionally around Rabbis who provide the context you mention. Then a Rabbi who I thought would address things well post October 7 based on his pre-October 7th sermons has disappointed me. So I luckily found a different rabbi at another synagogue who is better (but life has led me to only going occasionally to services or doing them by zoom). Maybe talk to your mother-in-law first and decide from there whether to try to discuss with the Rabbi in private. After my son's bar mitzvah with a fairly good Rabbi which is now some years ago, we attended services less and less.

Is it actually reasonable to assume your synagogue is donating money to Israel? You mean like the synagogue itself, not its members? Is that something synagogues do?

FWIW we are at a small, building-less reconstructionist synagogue where the views likely range from liberal zionist to outright anti-zionist. I don't think anyone is Likkud or even centrist on Israel. The synagoguge had a discussion of the Beinart book and people on the listserv were promoting a screening of No Other Land. Even still, the (outgoing) Rabbi sometimes used what I thought were clunky and uncomfortable ways of expressing concern for Palestinians - I guess it's a touchy thing where rabbis feel like they have a hard time finding the right way to express things without stepping on some of the members.

My wife has said that the synagogue is probably sending money to Israel, and I just assume that she knows more than me. Googling tells me that it is common for synagogues to send financial contributions to Israel which is what I had assumed.

I don’t know what I seek to accomplish or know, or what obligation the rabbi has. It’s probably my desire for somebody besides me to do something. At the very least it might be an interesting conversation with the MIL.

There are so many lines being crossed now that I feel as though I need to figure out where other lines are that I hadn’t considered before.

it is rich seeing clergy from my childhood synagogue, who pray for peace weekly, if not daily from the bimah, posting bloodthirsty drivel about israel's strength and the need for iran to be "neutralized"

it was the same shit in the immediate aftermath of oct 7. nominal empathy for palestinians, but no self-reflection at all

I have learned not to accept Facebook friend requests from anyone associated with our temple because some of them are turds and it is so disheartening to see their hearts laid out like that. It’s like seeing old friends wearing a MAGA hat.

Watching Israel destroy Gaza has really broken my spirit and my heart in a lot of ways. And it just continues, now watching them (or the "contractors" or whatever) treat people seeking food like animals.
I felt the need to say that somewhere, and I don't really like posting stuff like that in the I/P thread - in fact I don't really like posting there at all, it feels performative and I also strongly dislike a couple of the frequent posters.

yep, and it’s even more disheartening to see people i once respected continue to cheerlead and spew the talking points even after all that has happened

Yeah. I mean among the people I actually respected, IDK if I quite see "cheerleading," but there's certainly a good amount of denial and deflection. Which I kind of relate to, because I get stuck doing it sometimes!

It's very hard not to feel defensive as part of a small global minority that was almost wiped out.

Also, people do say stuff that isn't true all the time, so if you want to distract yourself by just arguing with those things and ignoring the bigger picture, it's very easy to.

Shana Tova . Watching a zoom service now

The rabbi doing the service has previously criticized Netanyahu and Hamas . Today his sermon largely dodged that . He noted that the modern day state of Israel has caused people to have varying definitions of what is a Jew, and talked about defining it via Jewish culture, spirituality, ethics, justice, community, and wisdom. Eh, seemed a bit too insular to me.

The one we are watching now, the rabbi just concluded her sermon. She called the Israeli government criminal, and said something along the lines of how generational trauma was being used as an excuse to create endless multigenerational trauma for others, explicitly rejecting basically every pro Israel talking point.

Instead of a traditional sermon we had four congregants of various ages and background, from teen to convert from old guard do-gooder to middle aged do-gooder, talk about their relationship with Judaism and what it means or doesn't mean to them. Pretty moving stuff, especially from the convert, but the old guard guy did bring up Gaza, stressing that just because he prays for the safe return of the hostages does not mean Israel should no be prosecuted for its ongoing war crimes.

Shana Tovah, mensches!

Last week I met up with a friend from home who is Jewish, whose Judaism has always been joyfully expressed in conversations going back to 7th grade, and he has become emphatically pro-Palestinian. One of his kids is pro-Israel; his daughter wore kaffiyeh under her college graduation robe. His youngest is on the fence. Friend was active in BBYO during high school and still has tons of close friends made there. We talked about his Hebrew school experience and how what they were taught about Israel and ‘Arabs’ is hard to dislodge because the people they learned from there were otherwise progressive or respectable. He is optimistic that his Jewish community will shift over time because so many under-40s are committed to ceasefire and ‘never again for anyone’.

I totally forgot Hanukkah starts tonight, lol. But anyway, having been Jewish my whole life, today was the first day I ever saw Hanukkah/Chanukah spelled "Khanuke." I think it may be Yiddish?

For some reason, the original Christmas one isn't on YouTube, but SNL uploaded the Easter sequel:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXtGYwY_D7o

chag sameach yall

Hate to bring down the sameach. Bondi Beach shooting is really weighing on me. I'm going to go to my town's menorah lighting tomorrow even though I don't normally. A bunch of non-Jewish locals made nice supportive posts on fb and encouraged others to go and it was appreciated.

So ugly, so callous. I hope our Jewish communities feel loved in the aftermath of such hatred.

it's totally brutal

Much gratitude and respect for Ahmed al-Ahmad, whose actions stopped one of the two shooters

I was really worried watching that clip he was going to hold the gun for a bit too long and be mistaken for a shooter

Sadly the disarmed attacker just ran back and picked up another gun.

Apparently the gunmen were father and son?

I live not far from Bondi. Heard the helicopters all evening transporting people to hospitals. Horrific. That footbridge they were shooting from I must have walked over a hundred times.

It seems strange to me they were able to shoot for 10 minutes uninterrupted. Bondi is well known as a place where lots of Jewish people live, and the beach is iconic, so you'd have thought an obvious target. Wouldn't an open air Jewish event have had lots of police already on the ground and ready to intervene?

Gun violence is far less prevalent in Australia than the USA. But that's also true in about 95% of the countries on earth.

wild to me (an Australian) that this dipshit was on the radar of anti-terrorism investigators yet nobody thought it potentially uncool that his father had six fuckin long range rifles

yeah that part, particularly in a country with such strict gun laws, is pretty flummoxing

Gun violence is far less prevalent in Australia than the USA. But that's also true in about 95% of the countries on earth.

If this is intended to be reassuring to locals before the death count is finalised on the second-largest mass shooting in the history of the country, but is definitely more than double the previous largest in the city — 34 years ago — I promise that it is as misjudged as it is irrelevant.

Gun violence is far less prevalent in Australia than the USA. But that's also true in about 95% of the countries on earth.

Gun violence is far less prevalent in Australia than the USA. But that's also true in about 95% of the countries on earth.

This isn’t very comforting in the wake of a fucking hate crime btw

guys, Aimless was commenting on Zelda's post as to why there wasn't more security at the event, not minimizing it

You must have missed the part of Zelda’s post that that began “I live not far from Bondi.” I believe sic is also Australian. What an American thinks they have to offer in that context is unknown.

i live in sydney too and the post seems clearly well-intentioned and not trying to make light of anything

I think the fact that it is a targeted hate crime matters more than the way in which it was done. Especially in this thread. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You must have missed the part of Zelda’s post that that began “I live not far from Bondi.” I believe sic is also Australian. What an American thinks they have to offer in that context is unknown.

I didn't miss anything, and am not saying Aimless's analysis of why there weren't more security measures is correct or incorrect. I just pointed out that that is what that was, not an attempt to comfort or reassure.

guys, Aimless was commenting on Zelda's post as to why there wasn't more security at the event

what does anything at all about the USA have to do with Zelda’s post

Countries with lower gun violence are less likely to have safety measures in place, was the argument as I read it.

what does anything at all about other countries have to do with Zelda’s post

For that matter, this stuff probably should be discussed in a different thread. Maybe even the shooting spree thread.

speculation about gun violence, the effects of having stricter vs looser gun laws, what police presence was or should have been all seem kind of irrelevant to me tbh. I'm not an expert in gun statistics or event security. I have seen anecdotal complaints from Sydney area residents about antisemitic threats and rhetoric being downplayed or ignored. Hard for me to evaluate any of that either. Whole thing just makes me sick and I don't really have a takeaway from it.

So many people jumping to conclusions. Right-wing american Jew Bob Lefsetz (who gets mocked on ILM for his music industry comments) is blaming the American left and college student protestors and Countries saying Palestine should be recognized as a nation for Australia, while I see on Haaretz that the Israeli government is busy investigating what they are calling an Iranian involvement.

TBQH it seems very clear that it was antisemitic Muslim extremists, that's not really a hard conclusion to jump to. Anything else is more evidence needed. Iran backing attacks on Jews is not exactly unprecedented. If you want to talk about jumping to conclusions, you might also highlight Iranian state media pushing the narrative that this was a false flag.