all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "EXCELSIOR! "... and I'll look down and whisper "LOL"

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey...i'm sexy.
You: whoa
Stranger: =)
You: whoaaaaaaaaaa
Stranger: =0
Stranger: whatt
You: I mean, whoooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooaaaaaaaaa!!!
Stranger: lolll
Stranger: kwait wut i do
You: whoaaaaaaaaaooooooooooh noooooooo!
Stranger: lol
Stranger: can i start over again
Stranger: okay tyt
Stranger: ily
You: whoa yah
Stranger: hey...i'm sexy.
You: hold on
You: whoooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaa
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

― ZS1983 (Z S), Tuesday, April 7, 2009 7:40 PM (32 seconds ago) Bookmark

whoah no!

nice title gbx

;)

there is a shake shack at the new place where the mets play

― c?rvel (ice cr?m), Tuesday, April 7, 2009 5:05 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you mean the mets play at the new shake shack

― otm in new york (G00blar), Tuesday, April 7, 2009 6:18 PM (2 hours ago)

ha i was hoping for "choke on my LOL of an EXCELSIOR" as a tribute to our mans taylor shaporito

Tempted to do a screen shot of climatic battle, but don't want Fox torturing me.

― not_goodwin, Tuesday, April 7, 2009 9:44 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

create a tumblr with fake info and post there!

― If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Get My Locker Open? (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, April 7, 2009 9:52 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

a what?

― not_goodwin, Tuesday, April 7, 2009 9:57 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

No idea.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, April 7, 2009 10:05 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Radio then consisted of one channel, and the only programme was Marconi reminiscing about his childhood holidays to Skegness.

Stuart Marconi?

― the pinefox, Wednesday, April 8, 2009 10:50 AM

Jacqui Smith has apparently now called for an enquiry after seeing videos of a man shoved forcibly to the ground after receiving a baton from behind.

― The Unbearable Skegness of Being (NickB), Wednesday, 8 April 2009 12:37 (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

How could Christina Hendricks support a flat tax.

― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, April 8, 2009 3:38 PM (27 minutes ago)

She can support quite a lot, I'm thinking.

― guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Wednesday, April 8, 2009 3:49 PM (16 minutes ago)

Zing me once, shame on you; zing me twice, SB.

― If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Get My Locker Open? (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, April 8, 2009 8:09 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

new title A+

Didn't we see this exact same plot in Disclosure starring Michael Douglas?

― Tuomas, Wednesday, April 8, 2009 1:01 PM (3 minutes ago)

dont u mean Hey. We're Disclosing!

― c?rvel (ice cr?m), Wednesday, April 8, 2009 1:04 PM (14 seconds ago)

^ came here to post this very thing, new fave meme for 2009, can't believe y'all sb'd that dude ^

lolllll

Tuomas deserves some sort of most valuable poster award.

from a no doubt thread

Why don't they just cover an entire English Beat album and then call it quits?

― hormone mice in bikini paradise (sarahel), Wednesday, April 8, 2009 4:40 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Special Beat Suckage

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, April 8, 2009 4:44 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

My sister and her husband decided to go to Mexico for a last hurrah before commencing the serious buisness of procreating; one last bachanale of beer and tequila and whatnot. Since they were going to be trying at getting pregnant, anyway, they didn't use any protection and before they had even begun trying in earnest she was knocked up. I can't wait till the kid's old enough to inform that he was conceived on a wanton Mexican evening.

― Michael White, Tuesday, August 5, 2008 3:38 PM (8 months ago)

Probably also true of most Mexicans.

― Laurel, Tuesday, August 5, 2008 3:41 PM (8 months ago)

tbh

(in all the fuss, though, we've overlooked that Meatloaf was basically acting out "i'd do anything for love (but i won't do that)" in this episode.)

― LOLBJ (Eisbaer), Wednesday, April 8, 2009 3:41 AM

so does this mean being insulting to a mod carries more weight than being insulting to one of the normals?

― brewer and what (some dude), Monday, April 13, 2009 11:24 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah it is hard to imagine that on an internet borad writing offensive things to the mod that just banned you might have a deleterious effect on your abilities to post. ilx, what a world!

― PWNYTALE===========+ (jjjusten), Monday, April 13, 2009 11:26 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

so does this mean being insulting to a mod carries more weight than being insulting to one of the normals?

― brewer and what (some dude), Monday, April 13, 2009 2:24 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

obv duh

― c?rvel (ice cr?m), Monday, April 13, 2009 11:28 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol turning to the ol yr dumb to mess w/a mod therefor u deserve it defense before i even had a chance to c&p

― c?rvel (ice cr?m), Monday, April 13, 2009 11:29 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

if you attack riot police you should be shot

just go home and eat a sandwich

l8r

― taddletail (country matters), Monday, April 13, 2009 11:29 AM Bookmark

Spector's defense - that she was drunk and depressed, took his gun (after it got his prints on it), and shot herself in the face - is a little um wtf. Especially given that immediately afterwards he wandered outside, gun in hand, and said to his driver "I think I killed somebody". Plus a history of being an abusive mysoginistic loon and habit of threatening all kinds of people with firearms... yeah I think the guy is guilty as fuck. so to speak.

― This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 13 April 2009 20:16 (40 minutes ago) Permalink

yeah his alibi wouldn't have even supported a 15 minute episode of Matlock IMO

― wassup rockers? (M@tt He1ges0n), Monday, 13 April 2009 20:21 (36 minutes ago)

^^ an equally preposterous alibi supported a feature film with Richard Gere and Ed Norton.

Appalling fact: Morrison is widely believed to have suffered his fatal heart attack while masturbating in the bathtub.

^^ I refuse to consider this appalling! I mean, I'm not sure about the bathtub as a great venue, but I feel like someone needs to glare at whoever came up with that and give a whole "let he who has not had plenty of opportunities to drop dead with streaming video on the computer with his pants half-down cast the first stone" sort of speech

― nabisco, Monday, April 13, 2009 10:59 PM (9 minutes ago)
Really, if you were going to die while masturbating, a bathtub would be one of the more dignified places for it to happen

― nabisco, Monday, April 13, 2009 11:00 PM (7 minutes ago)
Every time you masturbate, god kills a Jim Morrison.

― fillibustar superstar! (Abbott), Monday, April 13, 2009 11:01 PM (6 minutes ago)

"listen, mom, what you saw in the bathroom...that was me doing the world a great service"

but what did he say to his dad?

"I want to kill you"

isn't his dad dead by now?

I hear his dad's dog's dead

... oh no, my mistake, that was Ken Dodd's dad

how does it smell?

Don't know, but it died on the operating table while having its nose removed

what is happening

it least it wasn't in front of a baby

He injured his nose when a Scotsman asked him to help remove a trumpet that was growing in his garden

Now I'm envisioning the Shining - "Tot Mom! Tot Mom!"

― photoshop your disgusting ass partner into passive-aggressive notes (sarahel), Tuesday, April 14, 2009 7:31 PM (15 minutes ago)

Shelly Duval screaming at "MOMTOT" reflected at her in a mirror isn't a chilling, though.

― I can sit in my car all day, and that doesn't make me a car. (HI DERE), Tuesday, April 14, 2009 7:35 PM (11 minutes ago)

kindamuzik 10 jaar - drie beste platen van de afgelopen tien jaar

have massive love for MJ & I'm sure he'll win this poll here but Nick Cave's a better lyricist and songwriter any day, and also sets a sterling example for others by not having sex with children.

― Just one thing I was thinking about as I was getting on the copter (J0hn D.), Tuesday, 14 April 2009 14:03 (Yesterday)

("I have...")

I cried when watching Meet the Parents because I felt sorry for Ben Stiller when Robert de Niro treated him so badly.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, April 15, 2009 7:04 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol

― buttslam is a pretty good move (circa1916), Wednesday, April 15, 2009 7:06 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I want to believe

― the most naturally gifted poster of his generation (cozwn), Wednesday, April 15, 2009 7:08 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Repeated listenings of Kid A prompted by Chuck Klosterman's hypothesis that it eerily predicted 9/11

what on earth does this even mean?

― I'm crossing over into enterprise (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, April 15, 2009 10:56 AM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

If you play "Treefingers" backwards you can hear Thom Yorke going "WATCH OUT FOR THE 9th OF NOVEMBER"

― Passantino Complexion (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, April 15, 2009 10:58 AM (13 minutes ago)

in ohio some legislators wanted pink license plates for sex offenders, fortunately it failed

"First I survive breast cancer and now fuckers are running me off the road!"

― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, April 15, 2009 3:48 PM (10 minutes ago)

hahahaha

hot dog down hallway is played out

― cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, April 15, 2009 5:05 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

by definition

― I can sit in my car all day, and that doesn't make me a car. (HI DERE), Wednesday, April 15, 2009 5:06 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

Maybe I should just turn it into an essay entitled "But What Will Happen to Us Long-Winded Types Now That We're All Into Status Updates And Soundbites? (An Ode To No One)"

― Cunga, Friday, 17 April 2009 08:48 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

There should be a Twitter service that doesn't allow tweets with less than 140 words for that.

― Gerard (Le Bateau Ivre), Friday, 17 April 2009 09:52 (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Twatter

― tits akimbo (kenan), Friday, 17 April 2009 09:56 (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

on bbc we have:

'Ferguson turns up heat on Benitez' and 'Wenger transfer policy under fire'

is the office air con on too high or something?

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Friday, 17 April 2009 14:43 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

'Moyes anticipate warm Wembley atmosphere, the flaming nutcase'

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Friday, 17 April 2009 14:43 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"Benitez removes shirt due to Fergie heat"

"Wenger quenches flames with 18m Delph purchase"

― Local Garda, Friday, 17 April 2009 14:44 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

'Lampard burns dinner'

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Friday, 17 April 2009 14:45 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

And the reason not to induct this guy is??

he's bipolar

― Mr. Que, Thursday, April 16, 2009 3:03 PM (Yesterday)

lol'd so hard

then you cried for a while

lol/col

rofcmeo

and thus the mantle is passed

it's all the more difficult if you're trying to juggle a couple of plums at the same time

Passing the mantle?

We're heading towards the (apple) core

Hours later, I still haven't worked out how to split the syllables of "mantle" in a manner that is not unforgivably crass

I mean so much here is ripe for the taking, but you can't peel back the skin without giving it a good soak first

LJ is slough-obsessed.

Nothing like a bit of rhythmic liquid shedding to really get rid of dead tissue and brighten up a lad's day tbh

okay you know what

don't

take a walk

just walk away

i was going to ask louis to cut it out

to give it a rest

he's been banging away on the internet all day

I was playing a vocab game on my DS on the way in to work this morn and one of the word answers was "SCOURGE" and all I could think of was LJ and I almost bust out laughing on the tram :\

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3046/2714685093_b19d6f2f62.jpg?v=0

dude whose side are you on

Really, still with this?

Would smash . . . for a delicious tomato sauce!

hey baby lemme ketchup wit ya

sex with a tomato? what am i, some type of fruit?

http://sas.guidespot.com/bundles/guides_8u/assets/widget_bVU9nSVH9mQ5MNvhRCTR8W.jpg

Thread has become a greenhouse of lolz, trapping heat inside until the once-turgid seed-pods wither

lycopersi-cum, amirite?

what is this now, vegetable pr0n?

fruit pr0n, for american tariff purposes.

my god, what have I done

Fret not, Dan! The resulting purée has been much to my delectation...

We might need a new excelsior thread, though.

rip excelsior threads you had a good run but nothing lasts forever I hope heaven has room for 500,000 cut and pasted jokes that you kind of had to be there for

guys definitely don't google "ass smoothie"

loooooooooooool

i like to spread the mush of this thread in between two intact excelsior threads and...

I kinda wanna burst into "Circle Of Life" at this point

I think we've all heard enough of your burstings

so not googling "burst"

ARGH THANK YOU FOR THAT MENTAL IMAGE MY EYES MY EYES

"drenched in flavour"

sorry I meant to post that on the

How can you let such images go past your eyes?

next time i prematurely ejaculate i'm gonna say 'xpost'

your SO can shout "suggest ban!"

hope i don't rack up 51 in a year is all

custos tribute month!

Poor Dmac never meant to kumquat that quickly

lock this fucking thread for christs sake

like shooting brundlefly out of pity imo

cosign; somebody start something new and non-tomato based

like a UK pizza?

LOL this f***ing EXCELSIOR for christs sake