Well I Never

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Ally C has never visited the doctor in 22 years. What have you never done?

― Tom, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That was a slight lie. He came to my house when I was about 7 and had croop, and I may well have gone as an infant. The point was I had never been before under my own steam, as it were. Sorry. Still, answer the question. I have never seen a full episode of Coronation Street.

― Ally C, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Never bought an avocado - as I believe this board may be aware.

― Pete, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Gulp. Never seen Pretty In Pink.

― Madchen, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

never seen a woman naked who wasnt paid to be seen naked. ( ie artists models, strippers, preformance artists, porn stars)

― anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

never seen Star Wars.
never been to america (soon to change!)

― gareth, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

come up north, we'll show you a good time.

― anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Never eaten oysters, though I would like to. Any offers?

― Emma, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Whistled. Snapped my fingers. I think I may be a subhuman.

― dave q, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have never eaten a weetabix.

I hadn't eaten oysters until this year, but when I tried them found them to be most delicious indeed.

Madchen, I am ashamed of you.

― cabbage, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

DArling Emma. If i am in your part of the world or you are in my part , we will go to a great restruant and we will eat mussels in limes and chillis, clams in butter and garlic and sauted in with liguine and a brillant white sauce, Oysters raw, rockerfeller and encrusted with sea salt. We will eat quhogs cape cod style. I will gorge you on bivalves.

― anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have never done a *proper* job interview.

― nathalie (nathalie), Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Killed anyone.

― duane, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

what do you mean nat ?

― anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have never done a job interview because I was immediately accepted. If I hear people talking about their interview-experiences, it seems like hell.

― nathalie (nathalie), Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i envy you

― anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I really have never been to a Harvester before.

― Martin, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

well, let me explain the salad cart to you......

― cabbage, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never been on a rollercoaster. Or read Life is A Rollercoaster by Ronan Keating.

― Jonnie, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never dated a non-caucasian.

― Ally, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have never seen E.T., Star Wars or played in any reindeer games.

― p f. sloane, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never pooped in my pants, post-diapers.

― Jeff, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jeff - that's a real non-achievement if you're fitted with a colostomy bag

― dave q, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Never gone on a cocaine binge.

― bnw, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Have just been to job interview, it is indeed HELL.

I have never worn Dr Marten boots or shoes.

― alex thomson, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have never said anythin g useful.

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mike you have told me many useful things.

― anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

never sat through a crocodile dundee flick, nor have i watched titanic - didn't king missile have a great song about this, with lyrics like i never was a one leeged pirate with a parot on my shoulder who could recite the entire works of coleridge, or smthing?

― Geoff, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have never worn any shoes OTHER than Doc Martens since 1975. (Excluding footwear for sport).

― Dr. C, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I never kissed a bear. But I've kissed plenty of goons.

― Arthur, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have never left Western Europe.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never been arrested, got really drunk, tried smoking, experimented with drugs, had any piercings, got tattoed, been to a club...I got the straight edge, not by design.

― jel, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

realy? maybe it s time for an ego boosting "say things nice about mike " thread. Then I'll be right as dodgers!

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Never seen EastEnders.

― Robin Carmody, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never broken a bone.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never had a headache, unless eating ice cream too fast counts.

― Kris, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dude! I have a headache every day, nonstop. How did you luck out?

― Ally, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

C'mon, Ally, you know you're just saying that to get out of sex again..

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Do you blame me? Sex is horrible.

― Ally, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sex isn't horrible! It's just not perfect. (Most perfect things aren't quite that gooey.)

Sense tells me that I should delete that...

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Argh. I guess it's gotta be better than being puked on violently in bed, but still.

― Ally, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

never heard 'Spacer' by Sheila & B. Devotion and would dearly love to. I'd forgotten about that... where's Napster when you need it

― Loop Dandy, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

man that's a great song! thanx for reminding me of it, i'm gonna dig that out & listen to it right now!

― duane, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never had a shot. I've never eaten a hamburger. I've never swallowed a pill. I've never played backgammon.

― Otis Wheeler, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

liar Otis

― Mike Hanley, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You're right. I have had shots of anaesthetics admitted to the inside of my mouth.

― Otis Wheeler, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never been on a plane nor stayed in a hotel.

― Graham, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

liar Graham!

― Mike Hanley, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i've never pooped on ally.

― Geoff, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i've never had blood taken. not to donate blood or even for a blood test. i hate needles. i'm sure i wouldn't faint or anything if i did have a blood test. but i'll probably never get around to having one cos the thought of it grosses me out anyway.

― lady die, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Never ridden a bike or a rollercoaster.

Martin: now you have an excuse to come to Crystal Palace (i.e. not just to pick up those CD crates).

― Michael Jones, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

isn't this a drinking game?

― lady die, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes it is a drinking game. And wouldn't you know it, SOMEBODY just HAD to say, "I've never masturbated on public transport". Then, they made me explain.

― dave q, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have never met Sheena Easton.

― Nick, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i actually have masturbated on public transport, did you need to know that? aeroplanes at least a few times, also once in the back of a bus going over, can't remember, either the Rangitata or the Rakaia bridge at night. I wouldnt do that now, it'd be creepy if a guy my age jacked off on a bus. but hey yr only young once.

― duane, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

so what's YOUR public transp. J.O. story, Dave? spill yr seed!

― duane, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Skytrain, Vancouver, wanted to see if I could get away with it, didn't get as far as busting a nut though as I remembered the presence of video cameras, so to make it look marginally less weird I got up and had a piss on the floor.

― dave q, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

well i've certainly never tried this on public transport. a girl tried to give me a blow job on the bus once, but i'm far too sensible and had to stop her.

― gareth, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i'm beginning to regret that answer now. oh dear!

― gareth, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You're right, Gareth. You ARE far too sensible!

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never given anyone a blow job on a bus before.

― Ally, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The great thing about ILE is that you never know which of your posts is going to be The One that follows you to your posting grave.

― Tom, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There is a posting grave? I've never been there either.

― Ally, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tom, i think i know which one will be following me. look, there were, like, families and kids and shit on that bus ok? it was about 3 in the afternoon. i can't believe i'm talking about this...

― gareth, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never shot anyone.

...who didn't, you know, *really* have it coming....

― Chris, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm still shaking my head at you, Gareth. My rock-and-roll image of you has been utterly destroyed.

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never given anyone a blow job on a bus before.

Before when?

― Nick, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Before next time I see you on a bus, cowboy. Etc.

― Ally, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I never went out with Tanya Roberts.

― He's Not Here, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I got a blowjob while on a train. An old man went: "Do you think we dont know what you're doing?!". His eyes were furiously popping out of his head. My girlfriend kept going. We were 14 years old.

― Simon, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

that post would be so much better without the last two sentences.

― ethan, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"i have never" been so disgusted with reading a thread on ILE before.

― lady die, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

David and I fucked in a greyhound bathroom heading to see my father in Winnipeg. It was 3 am and we thought eveyone was asleep. They were , except for the driver who was amused. He approched us in the station the next morning and thanked for making his night more fun.

― anthony, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I bet he was rubbing the poke... Oh never mind.
I have never eaten a dog nor cat. I hope.

― nathalie (nathalie), Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That made no sense.

― anthony, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

How is your nose this morning, He's-Not-Here? I think it quite suits you longer.

Mentioning the proper names of exes now we're on google = potential dud. ;)

― Tom, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hey, but isn't Tanya Roberts like, Sheena of the Jungle, Donna's mom, and a Bond girl to boot?

― Kim, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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