Stallone Movie Poll (Non-Rocky Balboa/John Rambo roles, for your convenience)

As much as I might like to vote for one of his more hammy, ridiculous roles/films, I think I'm gonna have to go with Cop Land. Beat down, low self opinion Stallone is pretty good.

Oscar is one of the most excruciating experiences I've ever had in a movie theater.

I voted for Nighthawks. Might've voted for F*I*S*T if I'd seen it in the last 20 years.

This easily comes down to Tango & Cash or Demolition Man. Choosing between them is gonna be impossible.

Wait what?

"Farewell, My Lovely"

He better not have played Marlowe...

Man Nighthawks is Stallone v. RUTGER HAUER it's awesome

Oh it's that surprisingly mediocre Mitchum version. I guess he had a blink and you'll miss it henchman role.

Also why is there a picture of Sean Penn at the top of this poll?

"Farewell, My Lovely"

He better not have played Marlowe...

― Vincent and Julio Gallo (Oilyrags), Saturday, April 18, 2009 12:51 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol stallone as marlowe is the funniest mental image i've had all day but now that i think about it its super easy to imagine a greying stallone doing the v/o on lines like

"I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance, I needed a vacation, I needed a home in the country. What I had was a coat, a hat and a gun."

Hmmm...Bogieless Marlowe poll. Garner was actually pretty interesting.

Demolition Man owns this poll

Nighthawks

voted for S!OMMWS

Yikes.

Cop Land, I guess.

only once choice here:

http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsS/16370-13732.gif

aside from the bit part in FML, the only one of these i've seen is Cliffhanger.

never saw any Rambos either.

I think I'm gonna have to go with Cop Land. Beat down, low self opinion Stallone is pretty good.

The moment when he collapses backstage at Carnegie Hall after the first rehearsal of Appalachian Spring is devistating.

It was Tango & Cash vs Death Race 2000 for me and Kurt Russell puts the former over the top.

Death Race !!!!

Tango and Cash, for its blatant, continuous homoeroticism, is almost a contender, but for me, this comes down to two of the all-time, hall-of-fame camp classics: Cobra and Over the Top. Stallone's performance (one-liners, you bet) in the latter tips it. Seriously, Cobra has to be seen to be believed. Not only is the dialog really really special, but it co-stars Brigette Nielson and is one of those action films that cemented the cliche of vehicles bursting into flames almost spontaneously, upon a mere scrape or bump. Also, the bad guys are satanist-terrorists.

Check out this scene, in which Sly Stallone takes time to crush a Coors whilst pursuing a suspect:

lol whoops. Wrong thing. Mods plz delete. Here you go..

I guess i did see DR2000, but no memory of how Sly acquitted himself

Bananas (1971) (uncredited) .... Subway Thug #1

Seriously, Cobra has to be seen to be believed. Not only is the dialog really really special, but it co-stars Brigette Nielson and is one of those action films that cemented the cliche of vehicles bursting into flames almost spontaneously, upon a mere scrape or bump. Also, the bad guys are satanist-terrorists.

I loved the hell out of Cobra when I was 12, thanks in no small part to his car and mirrored aviators. But even then I was acutely aware of how terrible a movie it was.

Deathrace 2000. No contest.

I've never seen Over The Top, but I've read the novelization, and it wins this hands down.

Escape to Victory, you guys.

(this is the only Stallone film I've seen all the way through)

"Nighthawks"

I was going to go for Cop Land, but nah... it wasn't really a Stallone movie so Demolition Man gets it.

demolition man, but i should really watch get carter since i've developed a taste for cold-blooded richard stark-ish shit

wait, i did see the original get carter, that's probably good enough.

I guess I should finally see Demolition Man, based on the enthusiasm for it in this thread.

hell yes you should it is a classic

wait, i did see the original get carter, that's probably good enough.
― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Sunday, April 19, 2009 1:42 AM (17 hours ago) Bookmark

More than. Leave the remake alone.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

I love Cliffhanger, really solid Hollywood actioner without bloat. Really liked Cop Land (as well as the latest Rambo and Rocky) as an adult, and Victory (with Pele) and The Lords of Flatbush as a kid. Watched Cobra recently, inspired by Los Angeles Plays Itself, and it's amazing cheese. I have trouble believing I've never seen Demolition Man, Nighthawks, Lock Up, Tango & Cash, or Death Race 2000--these seem like slumber-party naturals.

It's possible the epochal Rocky/Rambo sequels were enough to turn me off Stallone basically until Cliffhanger/Cop Land...

cop land

Apparently the villain part that eventually went to John Lithgow in Cliffhanger was originally written for Bryan Ferry.

What a beautiful world that potential movie would have resulted in.

An important thread:

Which character should Stallone revive next?

Another for "Night Hawks." Roosevelt Island Tram action!!!!

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

btw, for what it is, Assassins is pretty good (the internet stuff in it is LOLPRIMITIVE though).

Nighthawks: Really? Inspired by this thread, I rented it this weekend. Maybe some different music choices during the club scenes would have saved it, but I doubt it.

To be fair, I'm pretty sure I actually did watch it as a kid on cable and utterly forget about it, because a lot of it seemed familiar, but come on, you have to be actively talking to friends during this movie to enjoy it.

I think we can all agree on the necessity of a meta-Stallone film where all of the characters he has played meet.

Also, I have an ineffable affinity for Daylight.

I was thinking about renting Nighthawks and Demolition Man both because of this thread, but got distracted this weekend.

Oh yeah guess who voted for Spy Kids 3-D? In one scene, there are FIVE Sylvester Stalones. (Also Ricardo Montalban in a mech suit that can hop from planet to planet.)

i love nighthawks b/c it's half action movie with stallone taking on evil terrorists, half last-gasp, 2 years too late '70s nyc cop movie, plus rutger hauer and stallone in drag.

"I think we can all agree on the necessity of a meta-Stallone film where all of the characters he has played meet."

The Last Action Hero kind of destroyed this idea in general for me. If you watch it, it just may destroy your dream, too, but he makes a funny (if forced) cameo there that might be worth destroying your meta-stallone dream.

Also, Stallone in Copland is the same character as Stallone in the SNL Orange Julius sketch, and fans of one who have not seen the other owe it to themselves to see the thing they haven't seen.

That's funny about Nighthawks being two years too late: I wonder if they soundtracked the disco scenes with rock because they thought the backlash had arrived!

Okay, this is so weird, I just looked the big disco scene up on Youtube and I'm pretty sure it has totally different music from the DVD I rented, "Brown Sugar" and something pretty cool-sounding--MUCH better. The joys of DVD music licensing.

Let us revisit the past, having noted the present.

Consider a scene in which James Woods, Eric Roberts, Sharon Stone and Sly are all outacted by a teacup:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AQUTV1JmTs

If one desires, starting with the clip below, the entire movie is on YouTube...in German.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSZEbbfO-tk

The Specialist is a really strange movie. The Stallone-Stone nude/love scenes are like some sort of kabuki performance by fitness models.

Cop Land was a good movie but Stallone was overmatched in the acting department

getting serious about Sly

https://www.fandor.com/keyframe/sylvester-stallone-is-not-a-joke

Paradise Alley was as awful as I expected. László Kovács shot it, so it does look like a film, and the three female principals are good. Haven't had a chance to read Kael's review yet--I think she really tore into it. Tarantino says he set out to make his own version once, but didn't quite finish the script. I think we're probably safe by now.

Never seen it but from the stills it almost looks like Stallone is aiming for soulful early Brando tough guy, image-wise.

I still rep for Nighthawks, both for being a solidly gritty thriller (the halfway mark between the Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 and Above the Law or something) and for inspiring a solid Cage and Camu album. Cobra is really almost a self-aware parody of “action cop man” movies and is never boring imo. Demolition Man is really fun, probably should have been Bullock’s star-making role rather than “the one she did before Speed.”

According to Tarantino, it's a slavish East Side Kids/Bowery Boys tribute. (Of which there were four or five different versions--he knows the history inside-out.) I wish he'd written about Pelham instead, which I love and which was an obvious Reservoir Dogs influence.

Watched Cop Land last night for the first time sine the 90s and while Stallone is pretty decent in it, it's mostly due to the fact that he's playing a very dim man who spends most of the movie pretending to follow the conversations of smarter people.

When he's called upon to actually do things in character its a different story. I was dying laughing at how hard he overplays it in the exterior shots when he goes into the city - Stallone plays it like a greenhorn fresh off the train in a Harold Lloyd movie, wheeling his head around as if he's never seen a car or a tall building before.

idg shitting on stallone as a hapless and hurt notjing, i think hes great in the role

need to rewatch - privileged suburban young me in the 90s enjoyed it despite the concept of the police as an inherently corrupt institution by design being completely alien to me at that age. mega cool ending sequence too

I think that movie was about half as good as I was hoping, just because that is one stacked cast. Even down to rounding out the Keitel-led gang of corrupt cops with the likes of Robert Patrick and John Spencer and Arthur J. Nascarella. Thought Stallone was good, this role played to a lot of his strong suits, he’s always been best at playing this type of underestimated regular guys. The specifics of the plot kind of failed the cast and the very general premise for me.

To think he wanted to rename Axel Foley to Axel Cobretti when he was considered for Beverly Hills Cop. We almost didn't get Cobra!

Yeah it starts off strong but halfway through they kind of run out of stuff for everybody to do, and it becomes a holding pattern until the climactic shootout. I was kinda impressed that the movie complicated Stallone by not-so-subtly implying that he and his cops were racist, which makes the ending that much more bleak - Stallone goes on thinking he's a good person because he shot a few guys, never to fully comprehend his complicity in the rot that touches everything. Wiki says there were deleted scenes that hit the racism point more, but I'm glad at least some of that survived.

For me the best part was one brief scene btw DeNiro and Keitel in the post office(?), I think the only one that they share - DeNiro busts on Keitel a bit and Keitel has to smile and take it, and just for a moment DeNiro gets that little wild glint in his eye and there's a flicker of that old Mean Streets Johnny Boy/Charlie dynamic.

I guess I should finally see Demolition Man, based on the enthusiasm for it in this thread.

― Johnny Fever, Sunday, April 19, 2009 7:33 PM bookmarkflaglink

hell yes you should it is a classic

― one thousand BIG HOOS raging and pounding (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, April 19, 2009 7:40 PM bookmarkflaglink

Absolute garbage! (I didn't just now see it, but I thought I'd get my opinion on the record having seen it a few years ago.)

^doesn't know how to use the sea shells