Friends Reunited/Classmates etc. - C/D?

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The friendsreunited.co.uk website - along similar lines to classmates.com - is doing a booming business. I put my details in and was left feeling saddened and repulsed by the results: all the people I would least want to ever see again.

And now I actually realise that I'd like to start a general thread about friendship - do you have too many friends? do you need more? wht distinctions do you make between say best friends/good friends/acquaintances? And are these kind of websites unhealthy - should loose ends in your life remain untied?

Tom, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have met 3 people in the last three days. I never know how to slip into that freind vibe though .

anthony, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The best comment from a person in my school reads as follows (he calls himself sLiM sHaDy Nas):

I is served a 6 year sentence for GBH, So I is now own a Hashish store on Walton Rd Woking..come by anytime..£10 4 n 8th. or buy west_coast2000

Madchen, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dud. Dud. BIG TIME DUD.

I would end up fearing for my life if I was reunited with "old school friends".

Urgh. Yes, some things are meant to be left exactly as they are.

Mascara, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

old school friends - none - most rejected me when i came back from argentina or come out. some great friends from uni, most in email contact because of move to sydney; used to have too many acquaintances until i moved here, am enjoying being more alone.

Geoff, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've tried somewhat to keep in touch with old friends but it just doesn't work. It gets depressing for me personally because I just have nothing in common with them now - they're all in school and doing schooly things and it's just like, oh, well, I'm done with that part of my life. Classmates.com is bad. PLUS THEY CHARGE YOU AN INSANE AMOUNT TO EMAIL PEOPLE!

In terms of general stuff...um, I am starting to think I do have too many friends / acquaintences. They are all huge ass gossips and cause more trouble than they are worth. I'm starting to see the value in my mom's attitude on friends: she's not an unfriendly person by any means and chats with anyone, but she sees no reason to have any real friends because they just annoy her after a while - the only person she hangs out with is my dad and she keeps in touch with her one best friend from back in the day. That's it. It makes much more sense than my life, which is random people in and out and they all say things to each other that they SHOULDN'T and then repeat them to me in a slightly different format and just cause in-fighting and drama and seem to think they have rights to information they have no rights to have.

Ally, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i think friends are important, and have quite a lot dotted about. at school i had nothing in common with anyone and couldn't wait to leave. i hated it. i had a look at that site, at my school and also at schools people i knew went to. at a school somebody i used to know went to, there was somebody with the surname Oomintroll. I kid you not!

gareth, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

To me a friend is a person I can hang out with socially, can talk to about anything and nothing, can joke around with and have known for a while. I wouldn't mind knowing what some people I knew at school are doing now, but only from a distance! Acquaintances, I don't bother with at all, I used to be concerned about them in the sort of "I'm counting my friends here I want to get into double figures I'll include such and such" sort of way. I am intrigued about those websites...but generally I think they are a bad idea, leave the past behind. I have 6 friends, and I think that's a good amount.

jel, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've been back at my parents' house for the last few days in an attempt to sort out the vast piles of stuff I've still got lying around here. As part of this I've ended up going through a lot of my old letters and it's made me realise how bad I am at maintaining friendships. There's so many people who I would once have considered really good friends who I lost contact with through nothing but sheer laziness. I do regret this, as I've never found it that easy to make friends in the first place, but I suppose there's very little I can do about it now except to resolve never to let it happen again.

Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've had the same 3 friends for 5 years. people think I'm boring because I dislike almost everyone else and refuse to go out with others (can't stand most people) so now everyone splits up to go off to college ..may become more of recluse if possible.

kevin enas, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nice to see that the most hated boy at school, Michael Mathew, has moved to London. Hope I don't run into him.

Ally C, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Friendships are like Drumsticks, you should either enjoy them or let them melt into a sticky glob on your shoe. Loose ends should remain untied, but shoelaces shouldn't, so if you wanna be just a kid eating a Drumstick, fine, but I'd rather you shined my shoes, cuz I'm not about to eat a Drumstick, that shit sucks. I have too many friends, and not enough of them are Red Sox fans.

Otis Wheeler, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's funny, seems like nobody has the kind of friends they *want* (ie, too many, too few, too few real friends, etc.). Personally, my best friend is a friend from back in the day, rarely talk to anyone else from high school. My friends now are very nice, my only problem with them is that I have friends who I really get along with but who don't drink or anything, so I feel like something's missing. On the other hand, I have other friends that do drink and get fucked up, but I never quite seem to get along with them as well. The end result is that I rarely get fucked up with people I really like, and so I don't enjoy it as much.

Dave M., Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You don't like yourself?

Kris, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Being completely useless at keeping up with ppl, i'm finding friendsreunited rather interesting. Strangely all my younger sister's gang have signed up, but hardly antone from my lot, maybe they've all gone and moved into caves or something. Also, one of the two guys i do keep in contact with (well i've got his email anyway) has paid the friendsreunited fiver so if you want to contact anyone, you can do it via him prolly ;) So yeah, pretty classic i spose, until yahoo inevitably buys them out of their back bedroom.

carsmilesteve, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Its a Classic; at least in that it worked for me. Details in one month ago, meeting up for birthday drinks with sadly separated friend next week. And he works for Playstation 2 Inc., so still cool.

A brand new old friend. Loads in common, loads to catch up with. Nice one. Applause.

He's Not Here, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't have friends, just acquaintances. People only hang out with me if I have something they want (like Radiohead tickets, yesterday). Not really ever having had close friends, I'm not entirely sure what I'm missing.

Melissa W, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

thank you ile. i feel so well-adjusted now.

sundar subramanian, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the people that are my hard core friends are like members of secret societies & stuff. when outsiders come into the room we go silent & they become uncomfortable & break out in sweats & they have to leave & they can't tell why. also we talk in a code that is entirely made up of the stage patter from "kiss alive". the people on this website are not my friends they are my fwiends.

duane, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

...except in real life all my friends have drifted off to other cities & other countries & now I only evertalk to humans thru layer upon layer of miles of electronic woo-woo... I have turned into some fuckin cyber-psychotic creep. HOW WILL DUANE ZARAKOV EVER REINTEGRATE INTO NORMAL SOCIETY?
also, who will save rock'n'roll?

duane, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Duane, it has long been my contention that New Zealand is a weird place whose youth culture has been decimated by everyone bloody going abroad for most of their 20s. Why don't you just give up and go abroad yourself and save all the woo-woo?

Nick, Saturday, 4 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one month passes...
I just finally did that Friends Reunited thing. Found so many people I knew. One of whom still has my Use Your Illusion 1 tape. I'm gonna get it back!

jel, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

So Duane - will that be vodka'n'orange juice, or tequila?

dave q, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I kind of think theres certain people I can do without ever seeing again, having left school recently. And I don't mean that as in people I hate. I mean people that I grew up with as friends. Basically my friends are the people I go out with, I'm not big into my friends knowing absolutely everything or even anything about my really personal life, and I presume the feeling is mutual. We're all so different really, I mean my first thread on this board was basically about how I can't talk to them about music. This is partly my own fault, one or two of them are so defensive about what they like while still taking the piss when I play stuff. My best friend is the guy who comes out to the Kitchen with me at the drop of a hat on a whim when I ring and say lets go do something. Or else he rings me. We probably have owed each other loads of money on various occasions where one of us has been broke. Like him tonight.

Ronan, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...
There are very few people i still hold regard for and none of them are from my old school....

BEST LEAVE ALONE

Viv, Thursday, 6 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm rarely back in Minneapolis so don't see many school friends. I have one absolute best friend from school and we're still in touch*, and only two friends which I consider to be The Disappeared.

*This is because my mum lives opposite her parents and one of our best mutual friends is here in London and is close to me, too. But we can be out of touch for a year with no ill effect. Had to miss her wedding, though, which was a total bummer.

suzy, Thursday, 6 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two weeks pass...
Jeezus xhrizt!¡!¡!¡!¡ I've been meaning to chex0r thiz for ages. Am now thoroughly depressed. I am about to post my bio in hax0r speak, so some amuzement may come ov this all for me.

Norman Phay, Tuesday, 25 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...
Friends Reunited - once you get over the warm but wistful glow of nostalgia (had a great time at primary school, mixed memories of secondary), pretty dud. The fact that the only people on there are the ones you'd never want to see again appears to be a given with me and most of my colleagues who looked at the site when it was very much de rigeur (summer-autumn 2001) and the people who've really made it in life wouldn't condescend to write a biography anyway. I did want to write something wonderful but couldn't think of anything without being guilty of seriously embellishing my history. You can't go back and in the vast majority of cases, it's better not to.

Still, one of my ex-classmates is now a porn star (lives in Germany) and another is currently incarcerated for paedophilia so I guess that's what a comprehensive education does for some people...


Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

According to a report in thee "guardian" thee other day, the people who started "friends reunited" are planning on selling it off. The database ov millionz ov email addresses was mentioned az a main part ov the site'z value to a purchaser. Brace yrselvez for spam overload I ph34r.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

i doubt the buyers will be into fake diplomas and penis pills.

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 23:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Plus, this boi @ our sk3wl who was rumoured to have had BIG OLE PASH w/male teecher, actually did, according to his biogrPHICKL not3z. that = k-klassick. Dud was homophobick trash-talk from other er alumni from my "year" Phuck that. Has anyone ever been to sk3wl re-union? I wd probably not go, b/c of L@M3RS like homophobe boi.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 23:54 (twenty-two years ago)

penis opillz possibly not, but fake diplomas surely = a major marketing oppurtunity, given thee nature ov thee site? Most ov my spam these days = "you have been approved a cash grant!" (this is a lie, i suspect)

Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

And they didn't even get your name right!

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

[or make any grammatical sense]

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

humour me, it is late and i am loaded

Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 16 January 2003 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

again.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 16 January 2003 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

No, it was the people calling you grant that were making the errors.

N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 16 January 2003 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Still, one of my ex-classmates is now a porn star (lives in Germany)

I bet Dan had a friend like that.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 02:16 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I think you'll find I've got the 'porn star': a girl from my class posed for Penthouse; she was total jailbait.

suzy (suzy), Thursday, 16 January 2003 08:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I posted on Friends Reunited back when everyone else did, but didn't write any "where I am now" commentary; not for reasons of maintaining a fake mystique, but because - well what was I supposed to say? "Hi my wife's just died of cancer"? It was a confusing time where I needed some sort of link back to the past to remind me who I was.

The trouble now is that I have quite a few friends but they are all too far away - mostly living in other countries. I'd like a few more in London but that's up to me etc. etc.

Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 16 January 2003 08:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Someone from my old school e-mailed me yesterday to tell me they'd seen me play in a band in a pub in 1978.

Dr. C (Dr. C), Thursday, 16 January 2003 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

it was a depressing exercise when i did. me no like, classmates.com.

the weirdo in school who is now a massage therapist and who used to work in a sex shop is looking for me and the most popular girl in the school to 'catch up on old times'. i went to his house once. i threw a pickle on the living wall. when i went back months later - the pickle was there - encrusted. plus, add in the fact that he never bathed and my friend dustin was paid $2.00 to exchange seats with a girl in french class who was frankly disgusted by his hygiene problems - never bothered him.

dustin: dave, you should really bath, man.
dave: yeah, right, i don't smell.
dustin: no, really dave, you really do smell.
dave: sure (scoffs at the suggestion)
dustin: a girl just paid me two dollars to sit beside you.
dave: (scoffs again)

and emailed someone who automatically put me on this mailing list to forward bad jokes. sigh. my disaster history shall never be revisited in person again.

doom-e, Thursday, 16 January 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

i never want to see any of my school 'friends' again. Fuck em all.
yeah, you heard, if you're out there: fuck ya.

g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 16 January 2003 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

One old friend contacted me through this, and I contacted another. We exchanged a couple of emails and it all fizzled.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 16 January 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

i completely made up a bullshit story on my classmates profile. I said I was now a clown for Ringling Bros Circus and that I was arrrested for masturbating at a strip joint. Needless to say, no one responded.

Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 16 January 2003 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

i never want to see any of my school 'friends' again. Fuck em all.
yeah, you heard, if you're out there: fuck ya.

On the freakin' money

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 16 January 2003 22:15 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...
To: Norman Phay
Subject: Norman, New people listed on Friends Reunited
From: Friends Reunited
Date: 24 June 2005 10:59:33

Hello Norman

You wanted us to let you know when there are new people or new profiles at one of your places

Boldon Comprehensive School 1 new people, 2 updated


Your Profile
------------
Is your profile up to date?
Change your profile here: http://www.friendsreunited.co.uk/friendsreunited.asp?wci=profile&check_m
ember_key=*******

Your profile currently reads:
y0y0y0y0y0!@#!@#!

PH33L TH4 PH33®!@#!@#~

J34H!@#!@#~

¡ ®3|\/|3|\/|b3r /-\|_|_ j00 L4|\/|3®Z \/ER'/ \/\/3LL!@#!@#~ SK3\/\/L D4YZ = |

Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 25 June 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

Perhaps I should update my profile. Didn't someone do a ascii-art version of goatse man?

Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 25 June 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

haha my friend ____ went on FR, saw a few ppl she didn't want anything to do with - she hated skool (in workin-class manchester) an wz miserable and left early to become angry lesb punk rockah - but one v.quiet girl she had liked, emailed her, chatted a bit on email until wires got a bit crossed and ____ became convinced her friend wz now transgendered and living in sweden

at least, she thought this is what the friend had been sayin: buty could not bring herself to ask outright in case she had put weird angry-lesb-punk-rockah spin on something much more mundane and her new-old friend wd be offended and never speak to her again

____ quizzed me abt the etiquette but i wz as baffled as she

mark s (mark s), Saturday, 25 June 2005 19:57 (twenty years ago)

I have a general profile on Classmates with an unlinkable, quasi-hidden email, should anyone actually care to track me down. The truth is that I absolutely despised growing up in that blinkered, rednecky, culture-free shithole of a town, and I still wonder what posessed my Dad to take a teaching assignment there. (This is still a sore point with me and my mother, actually. She hated it there too.)

The few people I gave a shit about in high school are doing fine. Most of them turned out to be utterly freakin' normal. The one exception was I found out that an ex-girlfriend of mine is/was a fixture on the goth fetish scene in the city she moved to, which surprised me for a number of reasons. Oh, and my first-ever childhood crush went to Cambridge on a scholarship and is now some kind of research biochemist, somewhere in the UK.

Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 25 June 2005 20:02 (twenty years ago)

Friends Reunited count for my year:

Dead: 1
Long term prison sentences: 2
Lawyers: the other 80

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 25 June 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

you got that wrong dom:
dead:1
long term prison sentences:2
interweb mentalist:1
lawyers: the other 79

Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 25 June 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

I have plenty of acquaintances, but I'm not close enough to anyone personally to even call them a friend.

Ian Riese-Moraine eats nation-states for breakfast! (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 25 June 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

OK that's enough of that for another year:

1/I found my junior school photog from 1973! I recognised like 4 kids, I couldn't figure out which one was me.

2/it is all very depressing.

3/...but you feel guilty for saying so, b/c thee whole thing iz so relentlessly jolly-jolly-jolly-jolly-jolly.

4/I might update my profile to be that weird thing I posted on "I rate evenrything" a couple of years ago.

5/i am now going to go and drink alcohol. alcolol.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 25 June 2005 21:33 (twenty years ago)

fourteen years pass...

I'm kind of astounded that classmates.com still exists. I assumed it would quickly disappear soon into Facebook's ascension, 15 years ago. I still get e-mail from them. They still excitedly tell me someone just looked at my profile. They still want me to sign up. They still exist.

clemenza, Friday, 3 April 2020 16:07 (five years ago)


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