Men! let your winky speak!

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my html skills are top notch. but not top notch enough to provide a decent link without spending a lot of time that could be better spent cutting and pasting.

this was in the independent today. MEN: go to talkingcock.co.uk and unleash yer manhood!

28 May 2002: The Independent - Page 5 - (302 words) Penis envy to rival the Vagina Monologues By: Cahal Milmo WHEN IT comes to genitalia and theatre, it has been a woman's world, dominated by the all-conquering vagina and its monologues. Now, in the best possible taste, the time has come for a soliloquy to the penis .

After the best part of seven years cornering the market in gender-specific sexual narrative, it was announced yesterday that The Vagina Monologues are to get a masculine counterpart. A play dwelling on the mysteries of the male member and the attitudes of its owners, users and abusers is to make its stage debut this summer at the Edinburgh Festival.

Carrying the suitably testosterone-fuelled title Talking Cock, the work is being written and performed by comedian Richard Herring , one half of the television comedy due Lee and Herring. Mr Herring said his idea was to repeat the success of The Vagina Monologues by re-acquainting the 21st- century male with his phallus.

A statement said: 'The penis inspires lust, fear, awe and laughter. And yet, it is an object of shame and, when engorged, indecency. Though men may brag and exaggerate about their little chap, they rarely talk about their feelings for it. Isn't it time for a Vagina Monologues with balls?'

The Vagina Monologues, written by the American playwright Eve Ensler, features actresses discussing the intimacies of the female genitalia and sexuality, based on the experiences of interviewees.

Quite whether Talking Cock will draw the same calibre of performer remains to be seen, but Herring and his backers are harnessing the full power of technology to gather material. They have set up a website (talkingcock.co.uk) carrying a 69-entry questionnaire on the nature of the penis .

As well as exploring masturbation, deformity and circumcision, Herring is keen to get to the bottom of the debate about male motivation. Question 24 reads: 'Who is the captain of your ship, you or your penis ?'

― nickie, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

my penis sank my ship long ago

― Queen of the Mentalist Gs, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

there's a questionnaire for the laydeez too.

― nickie, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Cocks aren't cool like Vaginas are. I applaud Richard Herring's attempt to get his career back on track after the Time Gentleman Please fiasco.

Blue penises

― N., Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

― mark s, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

See I say Cunt is cool, revolutionary, b ut someone saying I say cock is just liek - um yeah, it's there, on yr head.

― Queen of the Mentalist Gs, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

shut it, you! i love richard herring. i once sent some shrivelled oven-cooked crisp bags into the Fist of Fun gallery and got a lovely postcard back. he's a good egg.

i have seen stewart lee twice recently (Legend of the Overfiend screening in Queen Elizabeth Theatre and in Kings Cross ) and he has become quite a large feller with a bit of a hair deficit. tis very sad, as i once tried very hard to fancy him.

― nickie, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

he's a good egg.

Are you some kind of racist?

― N., Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

that was in reply to nick.

i must i must i must get faster on the draw

― nickie, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

no i'm bleeding not. why is that supposed to be racist?

more stewart lee news: his winky is 4 inches long and 1/8th of an inch wide. it is in his poem on the poetry page.

did anyone read his novel? it looked rubbish.

― nickie, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Wh y the allegations of racism have been levelled

― N., Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

it was rubbish. because it was by stewart lee presumably?

― gareth, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

we publish lee's book. i didn't get far through it. knows lots about dr who = he is nice tho.

― Alan T, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What is the caption of your ship?

― jel --, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Cocks aren't cool like Vaginas are.

Wrong.

― Sean, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am solemnly sorry for saying good egg. i am irish and we do not have rhyming slang and we take on your quaint lil english phrases in good faith.

I apologise to anyone who was incensed by my unwitting badness.

but i think there's a wee bit of political-correctness-gone-mad, at work in that article. seems a bit tenuous to me.

― nickie, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I read Stewart Lee's book last year on holiday. It's quite good - lots of stuff recycled from his stand up (the thing about someone having sex with a pig) but it's not too bad. It has a ridiculously contrived plot (like a Georges Perec novel or an episode of Seinfield)

― jamesmichaelward, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

cocks are cool and hot and gulpable and lickable like lollipops, but fuck, men have been talking about their dicks for sooooo long

― Queen of the Mentalist Gs, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What about The testicular monologues then? A cross section of men talking bollocks.

― stevo, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Let your winky speak!" is the worst pick-up line I've ever heard that would still work.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"would still work": A man's word is his honour, Good Sir Knight Daniel of Perry.

― Graham, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't be silly. Penii have been expressing themselves for quite sometime, right down on 42nd street!
And, one might say, in quite the appropriate language, considering the source.
http://www.puppetryofthepeni s.com/

― Fake, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

penii would be the plural of penius.

― unknown or illegal user, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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