Oh no! Shite! OH NO!

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Does anyone know a cheap plumber? Every time I have a hefty no. 2 I have to, um, manually help it on its way round the U-bend, a process I find distasteful. Or, even better, are there any other tips on how to make muh cistern more efficient?

Apologies for the less-than-fragrant topic.

― Mark C, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

too much information! rock bottom (or not as the case may be)!

But, hmmmm, no I know of no cheap plumbers!

― jel --, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

we are waiting for a plumber, our toilet does not drain

― anthony, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

where do you live marc c? cos anthony's toilet is broke too and he has troubles with his absolutions and abolutions.

― Queen of the Mentalist Gs, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

About 4000 miles away, I fear. I suppose I'm keener to fing amateur DIY tips to increase my toilet's performance (think overclocking, derestricting a moped, etc.), unless anyone in SW London can recommend someone good...

― Mark C, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

see it all depends onwhere you need the pressure - before or after the figurative shit. If you want to give the system a good clean, pour a can of coke into the bowl, leave for an hour, and then flush - that should clear any obsturctions. But if it's before...not too sure, sorry.

― Queen of the Mentalist Gs, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Funnily enough, I live in SW14 and a plumber came round to fix my toilet four days ago. They're called Anderson's and they're on 0207 386 8888. They charge £55 an hour, mind, and it's not like they did anything spectacular.

― dan, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cisterns are quite easy, Mark. You probably just need to adjust the funny arm thing, the one with a 'floater' on the end of it. This involves fiddling with a screw. Not very technical description but still. You need more water. Let me know if you have trouble getting it to stop flushing, I can do that too.

― PJ Miller, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

For crying out loud, call a plumber and call one now. Remember what happened when you tried to fix your washing machine? Now imagine the state of your laminate flooring had shite been involved.

― Madchen, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

fucking hell. The plumber cancelled, so i had to get another one, but everyone was b usy so i called like 10 other plumbers and its all tomorrow tomorrow tommorow. I finally found someone but still.

― anthony, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Taking sides: Calling a plumber vs sticking your hand in a dookie- filled toilet?

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

£55 an hour, bloody hell. I'll come down and stick my hand down Mark C's bog for that.

I doubt if my plumbers ever charged me more than £30 for a couple hours work.

― Billy Dods, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

1/ avoid "hefty nr 2" by drinking more fluid.
2/ easiest & least VILE way of, er, helping it around the bend = fill bucket w/water, & tip it down the pan from chest height. You don't want to be messing around w/bog brush, plunger etc oh no.

― Norman POO, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The solution is surely just to akways have sloppy shits. Go to Mexico avery three weeks, this should help.

― Pete, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

he hasnt come yet

― anthony, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

nor have any of us anthony

― mark s, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i just went to 7-11 to shit

― anthony, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i just went to 7-11 to shit

Ummm...thanks for sharing? (Clearly we don't have a Too Much Information policy around here.)

― j.lu, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

he came 4 hours late and charged me 200 bucks and change to move a snake arround for five minutes. Theif

― anthony, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

have you not seen the animal suit thread Mark?

― Graham, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

came 4 hours late and charged me 200 bucks and change to move a snake arround for five minutes

I used to know a girl like that.

― Sam, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have gone red in the face with laughing! Thank you all, particularly Peter and Dan - I'll give the screw-in-cistern thing a go, as, Madchen, it doesn't involve removing mains-connected pipes, which was the, um, issue last time.

― Mark C, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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