Customer Service Fun

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I sent an email asking if some of their cold cereals are Parve and I got this reply:
Thank you for contacting us on-line. We apologize for any inconvenience you've had due to a concern with one of our products. We would welcome discussing this situation with you and would appreciate it if you would call 1-888-876-3750 at your earliest convenience. Our Consumer Response Reps will be happy to help you Monday - Friday 8:30am to 4:30pm ET. It would be helpful if you referred to the following reference number when you call: REF NUMBER Once again, thank you for taking the time to email us. THE BEST TO YOU! Consumer Pulse Centre Kellogg Canada Inc. CETOR/CXK 4967792A
so i called the number and had this conversation:
Me:I am calling to see whether certain cold cereals are Parve
Kellogs Customer Service Drone: What ? Me:Kosher
Drone:Oh which cereals ?
Me:Frosted Flakes,Froot Loops and the Marshmallows in the Rocket Blasted Rice Krispies
Drone: Okay Frosted Flakes are Kosher, Froot Loops are Kosher but the Marshmallows have gelatin-
Me: What kind of Gelatin
Drone-hmm,let me see,
Me:Is it beef or pork
Drone:I have to ask my manager
Manager: Is there a problem sir?
Me:I want to find out whether the marshmallows in your cold cereal contain pork gelatin
Manager: Oh, I dont think we have that information, wait there is someone here who might know
Me:sighs, okay
Another Drone( in hebrew : Can I help you
Me:I do not speak Hebrew,
Jewish Drone:Oh sorry sir, yes the marshmallows are not parve
Me:Thank YOu and Hangs up

― anthony, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

new semetic answers

― anthony, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

how did you know he said 'can I help you'?!

― Josh, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

david said that was most likely when i repeated it back phonetically

― anthony, Tuesday, 28 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

hahaha

― Josh, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

schmoes and schmucks.

― Queen of the Mentalist Gs, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I was hoping you were going to call them usurious cunts at some stage.

Why has 'drone' come to mean 'drudge' when real drones do no work and just shag the Queen?

― N., Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

noones been shagging me lately

― Queen of the Mentalist Gs, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Peter Noone?

― N., Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

N. this is a rare instance of repetition of a joke not making it any funnier.

― Emma, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It was different before! Wasn't it? It's just that both times it has involved Peter Noone.

― N., Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

even he's not rimming me.

― Queen of the Mentalist Gs, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes well I thought that both /all times you were cruelly mocking people's refusal to punctuate no-one with these feeble gag. But my life has not yet sunk to the point where I am going to look for the previous instance(s).

― Emma, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes well I thought that both /all times you were cruelly mocking people's refusal to punctuate no-one with this feeble gag. But my life has not yet sunk to the point where I am going to look for the previous instance(s).

― Emma, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Fuck my stupid computer & fuck my too-slow proof reading and fuck my stupid hangover.

― Emma, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm sure that last time I was sticking up for you in the face of someone suggesting that with your new haircut you looked like Peter Noone.

― N., Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This sounds deeply improbable (the comparing part I mean).

― Emma, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Can anyone remember the thread? It was quite recently and it was a link to a Herman's Hermits page rather than a verbal comparison.

― N., Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Here:

Ronan: Noone is safe.
Mark s: noone is NOT safe (he = blond also!!)
N: Are you saying Emma looks like Peter Noone, Mark?

― Graham, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh someone probably said something like 'noone looks as great as Emma with her funky new haircut' and the 'joke' arose from that. Or something.

― Emma, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh well maybe not. Forget it. I think I need some Tango.

― Emma, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.hermanshermits.com/01links.jpg

― N., Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You are not helping.

― Emma, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

He's just embarassed because he stole Mark's joke.

― Graham, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I didn't really. It's been one of those ones that I've called on every so often. Maybe we both discovered it independently. It's quite obvious. Actually I'm never going to use it again now. At least not on ILE.

― N., Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There are 2 r's in embarrassed, people ALWAYS get it wrong. Grrr. Oh and there wasn't any Tango so I've had to get Fanta instead.

― Emma, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe Graham was making a clever in-joke in reference to my leaving an 'r' out of it yesterday. If so, I ph34r him.

― N., Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Fanta is better anyway. What flavour Fanta?

― Sarah, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Orange. They only had orange. And no gin, I hate gin.

― Emma, Wednesday, 29 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.