what part of a person's face do you look at when you're speaking with them?

for me it's often nose/mouth - i'm shocked by how little of the time i actually look right in someone's eyes

Where do you look when you're talking to somebody?

MY FEET

THEIR FEET

eyes. had a conversation with someone the other day who was clearly doing the fake eyecontact look at forehead move and it was really irritating

Always eyes. Eyes are fascinating!

(aspergers joke)

boobs.

Lips, mostly, because I'm totally going deaf.

I make eye contact unless I'm driving, in which case I try to look at whatever my eyes can catch when I'm not looking at the road.

Tits.

crotch

If they had feet, tits or crotches on their face I'd look at that, but now: general eye area or attention grabbing mole, acne or other deformities.

The assumption that this person doesn't have an enormous physical defect that occupies all your attention is galling. Bunch of body fascists.

eyes, mouth, i switch it around. dunno how this makes me look...

Combination of mouth and eyes.

You know what's annoying? When people NEVER look at you when they speak. When they just stare off 3 feet to the right the entire time. I think that may be my number one pet peeve in the universe.

You know who does that? Brian Williams. On that inside the Obama White House special the other day, when they were riding in the car to pick up burgers (I can't believe I just typed that) Williams just stared out the window the entire time as he was asking questions/ verbally S'ing Obama's D.

You know who is answering their own questions too much lately? Me.

People who do that are insanely uncomfortable in their own skin so you should shout at them just to make them that little bit more jittery.

This:

http://www.mediabistro.com/webnewser/original/Wms_Obama_5.29.jpg

It's tough to tell from the still, but Williams was looking past Obama, outside the window. He did that the entire time.

Only most of the time he was looking out his own window.

my aspie mate does it, kind of disconcerting. i think im a bit like that if i strongly dislike who im talking to.

xp

I don't know where I look. Maybe not at the person.

― Curt1s Stephens, Friday, October 19, 2007 2:07 AM

Crutis no offense but you have to fix this

eyes. had a conversation with someone the other day who was clearly doing the fake eyecontact look at forehead move and it was really irritating

― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 16:56 (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^ agreed - that old advice about "look at the person's forehead" or "look at the space between the person's eyes" is just total balls, because the other person either knows what's up or thinks you're cross eyed.

Over their shoulder.

You know who does that? Brian Williams. On that inside the Obama White House special the other day, when they were riding in the car to pick up burgers (I can't believe I just typed that) Williams just stared out the window the entire time as he was asking questions/ verbally S'ing Obama's D.

I noticed that too. As soon as he'd ask a question, he'd look out the window, and at one point, it looked like the cameraman quickly zoomed into Obama to avoid the awkward glances from Williams.

I almost thought WIlliams was distracted by something, like seeing up close some classified Secret Service maneuver that would make any casual observer plop in their pants.

So in answer to the thread question, eyes. I get myself to make eye contact the way I cajole myself into doing most social stuff, by saying to myself "you don't want to do this, but if you don't do it, you'll look like a psycho"

(internal voice: "don't look like a psycho don't look like a psycho don't look like a psycho don't look like a psycho")

Oh in the eyes, but when you're having a longer convo, it's a little over-intense to gaze into their eyes the whole time, so I do find myself looking past people or over their shoulders from time to time...more when I'm talking then when THEY are -- it's like...looking into the distance while you're thinking about how to put something, or trying to remember a word or a name.

I know a couple of people who make, like, constant eye contact when I talk to them and it's nerve-wracking. Esp since one of them is really attractive.

Make eye contact in a short conversation, or a long serious and involved conversation. If just sitting around shooting the shit make eye contact for some time then just look in the persons general direction the rest of the time.

the "look at their forehead" thing is supposed to be for speaking in front of a group, not one-on-one.

oups, should have posted here, I guess :

ah, great thread !
very often I find myself very consciously looking at one or the other eye of someone I'm talking to. somehow, I can't look at BOTH eyes at the same time : how do people do that !?
also, I feel uncomfortable looking directly at someone in the eye(s) for a long time while talking. It does feel too intimate.

And what do you do when someone's got a disabled eye, but you can't immediately tell which one is the good one?

Well, I usually flick a finger at the one I think is glass -- if they don't flinch, you're good to go.

My roommate has a weird thing with one eye and I'm never sure which one to look at.

I can't tell which is the good one.

i've long noticed that women i talk to are much more likely to make and hold eye contact. men either make it quickly, then look away for a while or sometimes don't make it at all. anyone else ever think this? (conversely, is this one of those things that everybody just knows and i never heard about it?)

So in answer to the thread question, eyes. I get myself to make eye contact the way I cajole myself into doing most social stuff, by saying to myself "you don't want to do this, but if you don't do it, you'll look like a psycho"

^^^ SO OTM

Eyes are fascinating!

this is the problem, they are so fascinating that i often forget what i am talking about, or what they are talking about

there is also the problem that the white-hot intensity of my gaze is too much for most mortals

Eye contact doesn't come naturally to me, and I've had to learn to make the effort to do it when I'm speaking to people at work. I now really notice when they don't reciprocate

All my family are very shortsighted, which may be part of it. I noticed at an xmas gathering a few years back that people we talking into the centre of the room rather than directly to each other.

I think I generally look at a person's eyes when I am speaking to him/her, but I occasionally get these moments when I become super-aware that I am looking into someone's eyes and he/she is looking back into mine, and it suddenly seems way too intimate and then I get very self-conscious about not looking directly in the person's eyes but also not not looking directly in the person's eyes.

you have described exactly what happens to me

i am also this person

Haha, yeah. I mostly look at people's mouths I think; one of my best friends growing up was deaf and I think that might be part of why (looking more at the hands obviously, but you kinda watch for lip movement, too).

a couple weeks ago i was in this wedding and had to talk to the lady in charge of the string triplet and she constantly looked down and away. first thought 'aw I won't hurt you' and then thought 'wait, the other two put you in charge??'