Britain's 50 Most Eligible Bachelors

I can't believe I only got 51st place.

jack penate? really?

How many of the guys I've never heard on there are boffing Telegraph staffers?

so, everyone who's ever been connected with T4/big brother plus a handful of models/actors and a few aristos?

Thinking Johnny "Brown" Borrell might just be the o_Oiest on the list.

http://www.nme.com/images/07126_181350_georgelambnmeaward07JQ_02.jpg

George Lamb blogging for NME.com

David Bentley? Clearly being able to kick a ball into a skip across Charing Cross road from the roof of the Astoria while spending the rest of the season sitting on the bench drives the ladies crazy.

Gave up GISing these guys when I realised they all pretty much look the same.

I'm sure George Lamb is pretty good looking and all and fair play to him for playing dancehall on 6music but could you imagine having to listen to his stupid braying voice every day?

The Prince, who split with Chelsy Davy at the start of the year, beat off rivals including Twilight star Robert Pattinson, Prison Break's Wentworth Miller and Richard Branson's son Sam

something about public school

how can you say that two of them are black.

xpost

I voted Dev Patel on the basis that he seems like a nice enough guy and probably deserves a nice girl snapping him up before his career sinks without trace.

How can you lose to your illegitimate younger brother who is going to spend the rest of his life opening Age Concern day centres and you're going to be the facking King???

Also let's have a sweep as to how many of these are secretly on the other bus. I'm calling Cowell for a start.

David Tennant off the market now there's a new Who in town? Am surprised no James Corden (not that anyone's going to vote for him). Wentworth Miller's a bit of a reach to make British, eh?

Tim Lovejoy = twat, btw.

Clearly Lovejoy is a giant twat but do you have insider knowledge here ailsa? Also, twat as he is, Danny Baker still beats him roundly for the title of Worst Presenter of 6-0-6.

No insider knowledge, no. Just filling in the gaps in knowledge.

Paolo Nutini = son of proprietor of chip shop across the road from my local.

Oh, I was not suggesting any of those people for your other bus campaign, purely coincidence that there are some possible contenders.

3 Robert Pattinson - friend of ilx's caek(?)

^^^i've seen this name everywhere lately but who is he? anyone?

I kinda like that last Paolo Nutini single.

Oh fuck okay what's worse than being Johnny Borrell? Being the Tesco Value Johnny Borrell.

http://www.sentimentalistmag.com/images/KooksTheLP01_070826FC_TT.jpg

I heart Danny Baker but he isn't going to be appearing in any 50 Most Eligible Batchelors lists any time soon.

Thank god there's no James Corden.

I'd assumed William wasn't in here due to having a girlfriend?

Robert Pattinson is the dude from Twilight

xpost

Hey as far as I'm concerned he's a bachelor until we all get a day off work while he nonces up the aisle at St Paul's.

Mind you it's not like there's any history in the family of going out with somebody for years then marrying a total noob.

I voted Dev Patel on the basis that he seems like a nice enough guy...

― Matt DC, Sunday, June 14, 2009 12:53 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest

Very nice person so I'm told.

In all seriousness, why would being an actor or a niche TV presenter make you more "eligible" than some dude who's got their own company or is heir to megabucks?

JACK OSBOURNE?!?!?!?!

But he's lost weight and everything!

COLIN MURRAY?!?!?! is that..is that as in "colin and edith"?! surely not!

oh shit i have gotten drunk in a wardrobe with one of these people :///////

like...so that's what he's doing with himself now. nice going!

it's called a closet, surely?

Adam O'Riordan spits knowledge

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2008/nov/13/tragedians-rappers-wutangclan-shakespeare-johnwebster-thomaskyd

Really, don't read that, just bask in the address.

would smash count is a frankly miserable 4, though take into account that i don't know who 3/4 of them are, and while scanning down the list of names i may have missed a couple due to falling asleep

33 Tom Payne - inspired the american revolution

Kudos btw

no he was str8, it was perfectly innocent 1st-year-of-university stuff, there were a couple of other people in there too. it was a large wardrobe.

or i might misremember...i'm sure i remember someone sitting on TOP of the wardrobe at one point.

first GIS raises WS total to 5! this is paul sculfor, who apparently went out with jennifer aniston a couple of times:

http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/77/66/paul_sculfor.0.0.0x0.432x593.jpeg

Adam O'Riordan is pretty high on the ws table actually.

http://www.citylife.co.uk/img/11766/16160_adam_oriordan.jpg

He is a looker, I noticed. Just don't get him started on Hip Hop.

WS count quite low, and can only be put down to the fact that these dudes are on this list because they can't get a girlfriend.

And when it comes down to it, how dissimilar is Kool Herc cutting together two records at a block party in the Bronx to Braque and Picasso cutting up and reassembling images, or Ezra Pound seeing the text as palimpsest to be reworked?

http://www.soulstrut.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badassbuddy_com-slowburner.gif

second GIS will turn this thread NSFW (mods?) - am posting cuz it's a sunday and no one's gonna get fired, and it was on the VERY FIRST PAGE of GIS. this is jamie dornan getting his cock out. i encourage this sort of behaviour

If you click this at work despite the fact it contains the words 'cock out' you are very stupid - MODS

or don't like girls, as NV suggested.

People work on a Sunday. Also, people (well, me) do not need to see this sort of thing. Ewww.

(xpost, yeah, I know, but presumably the eligible bachelor bit is supposed to make us think they are all straight and good marrying material)

alex pettyfer: yes please!

http://www.perfectpeople.net/photo-picture-image-media/Alex-Pettyfer-293x376-21kb-media-12113-media-139087-1217874902.jpg

ahahahahahahaha euan blair DNW

http://www.virginmedia.com/images/euan_blair280x400.jpg

Looks like he's inherited his Dad's "about-to-lose-my-shit-like-Herbert-Lom-in-the-Clouseau-movies" left eye.

Also he dresses like he picked his clothes out at BHS with the aim at looking cool at a relative's wedding, aged 13. Clothes bought by parents obviously.

Quality facial hair though.

Euan Anthony Blair (born 19 January 1984, London), is the eldest son of Cherie Blair and former British Prime Minister Tony Blair. He is known principally for being found inebriated in Leicester Square as a teenager, having a flat purchased by his mother for use while a student at Bristol University and having his appendix removed.

Well done.

That's the stuff eligibility is made of.

Dev Patel does seem nice xp. I saw him doing a meet'n'greet with other famouses recently - they were all hamming it up and being luvvie for the cameras, whereas he was comically stiff, just shaking hands and saying 'how do you do?' in a wee quiet voice

I'm still voting for Harry though

I like how that O'Riordan fellow starts his piece by turning his nose up at one "old trope" re Shakespeare before going on to base an entire article on one that's pretty much exactly as old and boring

Truly, Biz Markie was the Samuel Richardson of our generation.

Sam Riley's off the menu, engaged or maybe even married to Alex Maria Lara.

damn sam riley!

James Corden also involved w/Sheridan Smith - one reason he's not in there?

bump for the weekday crowd

Wentworth Miller really counts as British?

That's the least of this list's problems TBF.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

thread of unchallenging totty

first GIS raises WS total to 5! this is paul sculfor, who apparently went out with jennifer aniston a couple of times:

pretty sure he also went out with cameron diaz but i could be wrong.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.