Official Ashes Cricket Thread 2009: England Vs Australia

http://www.cricketnews.com.au/images/the-ashes-urn1.jpg
Wednesday, 08 July 2009
npower Test Match Series
England v Australia, Cardiff, 11:00
Thursday, 16 July 2009
npower Test Match Series
England v Australia, Lord's, 11:00
Thursday, 30 July 2009
npower Test Match Series
England v Australia, Edgbaston, 11:00
Friday, 07 August 2009
npower Test Match Series
England v Australia, Headingley Carnegie, 11:00
Thursday, 20 August 2009
npower Test Match Series
England v Australia, The Brit Oval, 11:00

Rumours are Michael Vaughan has missed out on the 16 man training squad but Harmison & Panesar are to get a recall. Though Rashid is thought to be really pushing Panesar as he went to *a proper school™
Simon Jones is out for the season so he wont feature in the later tests as had been hoped. Pietersen is struggling with his injury and he has to do a course of pain management over the summer to get through the series. Who knows if Flintoff will make it through any of the series nevermind the whole thing, but he's unlikely to be 100% fit for an entire series but fingers crossed anyway.

The Aussie squad is

Ricky Ponting (captain)
Michael Clarke (vice-captain)
Stuart Clark
Brad Haddin
Nathan Hauritz
Ben Hilfenhaus
Phillip Hughes
Michael Hussey
Mitchell Johnson
Simon Katich
Brett Lee
Graham Manou
Andrew McDonald
Marcus North
Peter Siddle
Shane Watson

* As noted by the ultimate cricket authority known as l0u1s jagg3r

So will England confound expectations and regain the Ashes or will Ponting's men win 5-0 again?

Now is the time for talk, action begins on July 8th *
Roll on Cardiff!!
http://www.theashescricketlive.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/cardiffground.jpg

* English weather permitting.

No more McGrath but I'm posting this anyway in honour of King Boy Pato
http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/bgr/lowres/bgrn677l.jpg

I was trying to think up a suitable title before starting this thread (swithering between 'Australia won't be on dis ting' and 'Amjid Khan played on') but you beat me to it. I'm feeling a comfortable England win, oddly.

What does the English weather have to do with Cardiff?

'Amjid Khan played on'

Nice.

Nice work pfunkboy!

Causes for English optimism: Australia have a dodgy few players in their batting line up (Katich I don't rate, Hussey has had a terrible run recently, Clarke wasn't much good in English conditions last time), and their bowling attack without a spinner effectively, and is pretty green.

On the other hand: Phil Hughes.

A lot depends on KP IMO. If he can get 600 runs for the series, England should win it.

He wont be fully fit so I don't think he will.

What's with the wednesday start btw? Doesn't seem right.

I'm guessing it's so there's 3 free rest days between test matches?

yeah, that's the reason, and the Lords Thursday start is sacrosanct. Won't be a great start to the series if it's a bowler's wicket and the first test is over before the weekend

Or if it pisses down and is abandoned without a ball being bowled!

I'm terrified of Phil Hughes and Mitchell Johnson. And I think Peter Siddle is going to be more than an irritant. And then I start worrying that the people who haven't necessarily been in form - Mike Hussey particularly - are suddenly going to hit a streak of runs. And Brett Lee, although people have been talking him down, did reasonably well in the IPL, if I remember right.

I'm not at all sure that our bowling attack is all it's (recently) been cracked up to be. I'm with Justin Langer when he says if England think they're going to spin Australia out of the Ashes, despite the way Cardiff played recently, they're on the completely wrong track, and yet...

And yet I can't help feeling that we've got a better than decent chance. Broad's going to have to prove that he's the bowler that everyone thinks he is, but that I'm not quite sure he is yet, Swann's going to have to continue his excellent figures and keep his chipper mentality, Bopara's got to make sure his batting is an unflustered and sweet as it clearly can be, and not get out after some nice looking shots.

If we're relying on Pietersen and Flintoff we're fucked, but surely there's going to be a couple of moments where their contribution could be crucial - series winning or losing. It'd be nice to see Strauss playing as he did in the Caribbean.

At the moment it feels 50/50, and I'm really excited.

FREE-NIL
WERE GONNA WIN FREE-NIL
WERE GONNA WIN FREE-NIL
WERE GONNA WIN FREE-NIL

I was trying to think up a suitable title before starting this thread

Suggest "Two Bald Men Fighting Over a Comb"

http://www.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,,6682463,00.gif

If KP dies, you might as well give up. I mean, an England XI made of up entirely English cricketers?

Though Rashid is thought to be really pushing Panesar as he went to *a proper school™

yes, the school of leg-spin

Also, KBP, we've got plenty of others. Captain and wicketkeeper f'rinstance.

http://www.cricinfo.com/engvaus2009/content/current/story/410177.html

Leaving out Harmison is a mistake. Much as he is a complete c*nt, he is bowling well again and I reckon the Aussies would rather face Onions than him. I'm not sure I'd play him at Cardiff, but but but he should be in the squad i) as a pace option for bouncier pitches later in the series, and ii) because there no chance that Flintoff, Sidebottom and Anderson will remain injury-free for the whole series. I know they can call someone up later, but i'd get him involved now. Bresnan shouldn't be there IMO.

Harmison ahead of Bresnan every fucking time

Bresnan shouldn't be there, no. Plenty of bowlers around the country doing better than him (although he can plainly bat a bit too).

Harmison is an irritating and crotchety case. He's been doing very well of late, but a) with plenty of help from the other end, usually Onions, and b) on largely helpful pitches. He had a good spell at Edgbaston the other day (later trumped by Onions), but he *always* flunks it at the highest level nowadays, and is as wet as a flannel, so I'm comfortable with that decision. Well, comfortable if we're not taking Bresnan into account.

O look Chris Tremlett took 4 against Gloucs remember him?

Where's Ian Blackwell lolz

This squad isn't final fwiw

lol @ watto

http://www.foxsports.com.au/story/0,,25673432-5009880,00.html

this guy suuuux

jesus, is he ever not injured

his gf is a pretty amazing sports news presenter tho

Oh hai...

http://www.cricketfizz.com/cricketblog/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/shane.jpg

lol u can see how he got "stiffness" lol

so much for stiffness

hodge in, i say

^^

Call up Sandri, he has Hughes' number!

yes what this england team needs is another born and raised south african who has spent 3 months in england

Was joking, but thanks. If its any consolation, Luke Wright has just got Ponting.

what this england team needs is a low-rent shane watson

what this england team needed/needs - jones,flintoff/vaughan etc fit for the last four years/KP 100% fully fit.

Vaughan is not needed.

I'm actually suddenly quite confident about the Ashes.

Vaughan may be needed if anyone picks up an injury though.

If vaughan hadnt been injured for years and lost form he would have been needed. and yes, hes cover for bopara or cook if they get injured. Shah can fuck off.

Ian Blackwell should be first batting reserve.

:D

He'd certainly bulk up the batting line-up.

lol and Rob Key amirite amirite lol fatty amirite

amirite

should be more gentleman of the larger persuasion in the England team IMO

bring back Ian Austin!

robert croft amiriiiite

blee and hauritzzz batted well then

as did that CHEAT haddin

you sure showed sussex

^__^

7/349 off 90 overs, day 1 of a 4 day tour match. Not actually much wrong with that.

Flintoff watch: 93 off 41 balls in a 20-20 match this evening.

hauritz fails against county team, not rly surprising imo >:O

Yes I hope Glenn "5-0" McGrath really enjoyed today.

http://i26.tinypic.com/2ajucf4.jpghttp://i26.tinypic.com/2ajucf4.jpghttp://i26.tinypic.com/2ajucf4.jpg

RIP England, heaven needed eleven useless poms.

― King Boy on Parole (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 9 August 2009 13:05 (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I told you it was a rope-a-dope strategy and it is!! Only a draw needed at The Oval to retain The Ashes!!

― King Boy on Parole (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 9 August 2009 13:06 (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

Nothing like a good hostage to fortune is there?

I am disappointed by the inability of the internet to provide any crying Australian fauns pictures so have some kangaroo balls instead:

http://www.aardvarktongue.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/order_kangaroo_scrotum_bottle_opener1.jpg

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/46255000/jpg/_46255576_urn466x260.jpg

Collingwood was England's 3rd top scorer after Strauss and Prior btw.

and KBP can whine about him all he wants but he still saved us the Cardiff test.

and he has a double ton against Australia (with warne and mcgrath) in their own backyard.

Generally his fielding is worth an extra 40 or 50 runs to England over the course of a match as well, even though he didn't have the best day today. I would pick him for SA personally.

He isnt guaranteed to play but he's a cert for a place in the squad as Ravi should be probably along with Harmison. I don't think Monty will make it though. Hopefully Rashid will make the squad.

But please dont play bell bopara, colly, or trott at 3. Either take Key or play KP (if fit) at 3.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/46255000/jpg/_46255692_pair466x260.jpg

You would think they could have gotten something a bit better than Carling for Our Brave Boys.

Trott or Swann would both have been a good candidate for man of the match, but can't really begrudge Broad getting it, for that series winning burst alone.

like Special Brew?

White Lightning all round!

"Yes I hope Glenn "5-0" McGrath really enjoyed today."

There was a great shot of Glenn looking gloomy in his shades as Australia were sliding to defeat at Lords. Laughed for a good solid minute.

Feeling great.

Well done on beating a mediocre Australian side but please, don't call until you win an Ashes series 5-0 or win four World Cups, thanks.

http://api.ning.com/files/k3g9jrXKpmnY46gSD1*NJs7zGD3VC94PxRYQtOGfLM3k8bW3WDbpHP2ESTkY-AGrrHd-l5G57yXG-iTVcr8NvH8R0wbV3Xop/Tyrone2.jpg

Fast gaining traction in certain corners of the Australian media is the theory that England has just staged the "Great Ashes Heist": that Andrew Strauss and his team were a pretty average outfit who won the series through time-wasting, dodgy umpiring, the assistance of foreign-born players and a doctored pitch at the Oval.

Just as the CIA tried to see off Fidel Castro with exploding cigars, the ECB tried to kill off Australia's hoping of regaining the Ashes by ordering up an exploding pitch. So for the more populist wing of the Australian press, Bill Gordon, the groundsman at the Oval, has become public enemy number one; the central figure in a carefully planned conspiracy.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/nickbryant/

"the assistance of foreign-born players"

Do people really say this??

It's the English language translation.

the assistance of eleven hapless australian-born opposition players, maybe

because, of course, only australia had to bat on that pitch, and they dropped in the one from bridgetown when england batted.

Deeply amused by Cameron attempting to hijack england's success, he called it an amazing series. By no stretch of the imagination was it an amazing series. It was deeply, deeply average. But who gives a fuck?

there was some great cricket by both sides and some awful cricket, it was a fairky great series that coulda went one way or another. If not for the rain England might have won at Edgbaston but Australia should've won at Cardiff.

but no wonder it wasn't as good as 2005 as neither team were as good this year

kind of annoyed hussey'll retain his place u__u

It was the worst Ashes series in terms of overall quality, twists, turns, individual brilliance, tactical mastery, and most other cricketing qualities since the 90's, maybe 80's. I give a fuck. However, I am even happier about the RESULT of the series than I was in 2005 (where to be honest the sport came out in lights above even England), because it has been a k-lame, miserable, non-event Ashes series which Australia have somehow contrived to lose to a side with no middle order and no consistent bowling attack. In other words, it proof that fate has a fucken sense of humour.

Cameron can go to hell.

Oh, and England played pretty well in parts! :D

"k-lame, miserable, non-event" are only relative.

Claire Taylor and the women's team still my SPOTY picks. Just sayin'.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/46255000/jpg/_46255576_urn466x260.jpg

bukkake corner?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/bendirs/runout_bog_595.jpg

http://www.livenews.com.au/sport/oval-pitch-doctored-wisden-editor/2009/8/21/216913

Thinking about it, Strauss is gonna be a SPOTY shoo-in tbh

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/46255000/jpg/_46255576_urn466x260.jpg

bukkake corner?

― ken "save-a-finn" c (ken c), Monday, 24 August 2009 10:04 (10 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Who's the cunt with the toy trophy?

This pitch doctoring thing is hilarious.

It was known it was going to turn so why not pick Hauritz?

By "pitch doctoring" they actually mean "preparing a turning pitch, but we were too stupid to pick a spinner".

It doesn't even make sense - sure it turned, but most of the wickets were taken by decent pace bowling with the odd suicide dismissal. It also got easier as the match went on (is my impression anyway, obviously you don't get the fine detail when you're there) - had Ponting been batting with Steve Waugh, or had Clarke got in, Australia could conceivably still be in now.

I think the worst that can be said of that pitch was that it was prepped to yield a result because only a win would do it for england, which is a risky strategy as it could go either way. Need I remind any jolly swagmen and squatters hanging around, but england's first innings total didn't look so smart when they came out to bowl.

Nope, in fact they were being castigated by all and sundry for throwing their wickets away. Again. At that point it looked like a 450 plus pitch.

It's all becuz we're too white obv

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/files/thesun.jpg

loooooooooooooooooooooool

hahaha! more of this please

check out the brother. what a life he must lead

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/10_04/082flintfamily_468x468.jpg

I'm thinking roadie for Flowered Up

Jeez her teeth. Get her a date with Siddle.

And Freddie's dad looks like

http://www.filmjunk.com/images/weblog/happinesssequel.jpg

Do we really need to give the Aussies all the sledging ammunition they need? xp