a moral dilemma

ok riddle me this: (yes this is daet dilemma)

went on date with girl, she's in band.

her band has a cd-release show tonight. more than a week ago, we talked, she asked me to come to her show, i said i'd be happy to.

past week i got email from her at non-work address, saying, if you want to get in touch, use this one! i respond, asking mild follow-up question to a previous conversation... no response

middle of this past week i gave her a call (to vm) saying what's up, no response there either.

ok so do i go to the show i said i'd go to, or take the non-responses as uh 'purposive' and forget about it?

i'm not heartbroken either way, but i'm kind of unsure of the manners in this situation!

jesus christ go to the fucking show you moron.
she's not got time in the day to respond to people who already told her they'd come to the show because she's trying to get other people to come to the show! and get ready for the show besides. wtf.

Could be she just wants people to show up for the gig but isn't interested beyond that. Some musicians are like that.

tom is right, it takes a lot of time to prepare for a launch show

So...

Flatmate gives me 3 weeks notice and says she's leaving, about a week ago. I say unhappy with this but can't do anything about it, proceed to start looking for new people. She emails today and says she wants to stay and has realised our place is v nice afterall (not found an affordable alternative I assume) In the same email she added that her big reason for leaving was us not getting a cleaner (which was barely discussed) - which I found a bit of a rich bargaining ploy coming from someone with nowhere to live.

Is it really bad of me to say no? My other flatmate is moving out end of August and I'd rather have a new person in to decide on the replacement. I'd have to email about 20 people to cancel viewings and I had mentally prepared in a positive way for new people and new experiences.

Plus, who's to say she won't just decide to go as soon as she finds somewhere else?

I think no has to be the answer? Amirite?

people who want to get cleaners are scum, so yes

TOO LATE

ON YOUR FEET, LOSE YOUR SEAT

Just tell her she has to reapply for her old position, and join the queue of ppl viewing the flat.

kinda saying a version of that, that basically i'm not emailing all the people coming to see it and saying not to come.

SNOOZE YA LOSE

MADE YER BED, LIE IN IT

do you all think these all caps catchphrases or are you just having fun?

nah i concur with them and everyone else itt

HARSH BUT FAIR

my only worry is i end up with some worse person and regret it. but i trust my judgement.

well isn't that the point, you see all the people who've made appts and if they're all worse you stick with her

has she formally broken her contract? and is there a landlord involved

i've never flatshared so i'm not sure how it works but i suppose i wonder if she has surrendered all rights and is now your vassal and you can send her to siberia or something

she's dicked you about once, you're justified in assuming she cd do it again at any time, so sorry but bye hope this is a valuable life lesson for you

yeah she broke the contract but the landlord, though annoyed, obviously can't do too much about it, as the lease is up on aug 6th.

if you make her go through the same process as the other applicants she will resent you forever so it's probably between relenting (and getting her to write apologetic emails to the other applicants) or refusing to consider her?

make sure you are around to play "I Will Survive" on full volume at any point where she's packing

"To be honest I think it's best to stick by your decision.

I just think I've no guarantee this won't happen again very soon. I feel bad if you can't find somewhere but the reality is you decided to leave and had a look and are only now coming back on it cos you can't find anywhere. I did give you plenty chance to stay on till Sept 6th too

I have a lot of people lined up to see the place this weekend, I don't really have the time this afternoon to email them all, plus I'd pretty much prepared for the idea of having new people in.

My honest feeling is you'd just decide to go again as soon as somewhere else came up, can you really say that's not the case? Seems to me the flat is just a fallback after you can't find somewhere else.

The cleaner thing we discussed for 2/3 lines on GChat, I was totally open to it (I originally suggested it but you didn't want it then) but wanted to discuss how much we pay and how many hours they come in for. You basically threatened to move out then never brought it up again.

Just think moving out is a fairly serious thing, not something you speculate about as an ultimatum in discussions and then say you're doing with 3 weeks notice, then go back on a week later.

If you really think you wouldn't get itchy feet again then I'm open to discussion, but I think it'd be better if we both just stick to your original decision.

You'll probably be happier long term as well since it does seem you'd rather be elsewhere if you could find somewhere affordable. If you think I'm wrong and you wouldn't just want to move again as soon as you find somewhere else or have a problem with the flat then I'd perhaps be open to discussion but I'll keep having people in to see the place.

I hope we can still be mates as I'm not doing this out of spite, I just think if I need a new flatmate (and I currently do) I'd be better off getting someone who wants to live in the flat, 100 per cent.

I can't be sure but I think this is what most people would feel in my situation. I actually think everything would have been a lot better without *other flatmate* but there was never any discussion from you before moving out so I guess the chance for that has passed."

ALEA IACTA EST

you did good

http://wonderingbrit.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/burnt-bridge.jpg

haha...not me doing the bridge burn

people who want to get cleaners are scum, so yes

And people who have cleaners? :-(

Anyway, I think you should take into account she's liable (?) to do this again so... I don't know, I would probably let her stay, but I'd realize it was the wrong thing to do in the long run.

This feels like a moral dilemma: I love figs and they are super pricey at the grocery store. Like $10 for 2. Last weekend I drove around my hometown searching for a wild, fig tree where I could harvest hundreds of dollars worth of figs. Like a nice, one time grocery bag amountt. I ended up finding this huge, old tree on an empty lot. There was an older couple already at the tree and when they spotted me started to pick up their BAGS of figs and take off. Before they did I asked if it was okay to pick figs, was this private property, a park, what was this place? They told me the cops had been by once and told them it was cool to pick figs just don't cut branches off the tree. That is when I spotted a sign that said FEMA Buyout Property, nothing saying keep away. So I picked a few and thought I needed to return with a bag soon.

The tree was once in someone's backyard. A flood in 1998 wiped out 75% of that neighborhood. It is considered the barrio here in Del Rio, TX. I have driven past the tree a few times since but have not stopped to pick any. I keep thinking this tree was probably under water, planted and enjoyed by some family who died in the flood or had loved ones who died in the flood or watched people die that night. I heard the screaming of that night could be heard several blocks away. The next morning there were cars lodged in trees of buried deep, tail up in the creek. When I returned home for Thanksgiving that year, at the mall, there was a wall covered with photos of those who had lost their lives. It was so sad, children, babies, a lot of elderly people. The neighborhood has come a long way but nothing like what it use to be.

So is picking fruit off this tree a distasteful and inconsiderate thing to do? Or am I over thinking this? Any tree I'd find would be on private property, it is opportunistic either way but I don't seem to have a problem picking figs of a branch hanging over a fence. I really love the fruit, if I sound desperate for figs....

Just ask yourself this one question: What would Robert Blake do?

this is going to sound corny but I think you honor the people who used to live there by eating those figs. spare a thought for them, wherever they are, when you eat. I think if the fruit goes uneaten that is much sadder.

also, set up outside your ripoff merchant grocery store with a sign saying FIGS $1 EA.

it's cool, just don't hog the figs

aerosmith otm.

also, for $5, I would expect a fig to be encrusted with rare gemstones.

I had a neighbor once who had a pomegranate tree – and finally some very robust and handsome pomrgranates had sprouted. I had devised a whole plan for stealing some until I overheard my neighbors say, "Six pomegranates, that's how many pomegranates we have."

Fruit in a property where no one lives is fair game, though, and aerosmith bootlegs is otm about the right attitude towards it.

I house-sat for an old lady who had a bunch of lime trees in her backyard, which overlooked a steep canyon in san diego. She told me, "you can use them to garnish your gin and then if there are any left over, just put them in a basket at the end of the driveway so other people can take them." So I used a lime to garnish my gin and I used more limes to garnish much more gin and then spent the rest of the afternoon using her pool net to hurl the rest of the limes down into the canyon.

heed the advice of underrated aerosmith bootlegs, *tera, for he advises you well

otm aero speaks the truth

xpost how's life that made me lol

My husband lived off of other people's fruit trees after his parents divorced and his mother moved him to Miami with very little money.

Thanks! I proceed with clear conscience :) and try not to hog them or refer to anyone as Charlie Potatoes....

aerosmith bootlegs:I like your pov.

Christine: There was a time when I was a poor student and had something like $7 for a week of food. I bought oatmeal, eggs but no fruit and veggies. For produce I foraged around the neighborhood and got peaches, later pomegranates, berries and figs, tiny, hard pears whatever was in season. I then hit the community garden only taking the min to feel not so bogged down and stay regular. This only lasted a month or so then I got a job.

aero otm. & this was so beautifully written, tera, i love hearing about your routine & love tracing some sense of community out of where you get your food.

He did this for about three or four years until he was old enough to move out of the house. (This was early Sixties or so, so no food stamps.)

Wait a minute: This would have been starting about 65-66, so mid Sixties, not early.

Here's a moral dilemma. I am a simple peasant. Don Carranza’s troops occupy this area. Someone told them that I have 200 pesos (which, by the way, is true). Some of Don Carranza's soldiers came hammering at my door, demanding money. I refused, showing them my children, my hovel. The soldiers beat me up, then dragged me to their camp. I asked to see the general, and was taken before him.

The general gave me a pep talk, saying that citizens should support the army however they can. But I still refused to hand over the 200 pesos, showing him my worn-out shoes, and the bruises on my face.

"Who hit you in the face?" the General demanded.

"Your soldiers, Your Excellency."

"My soldiers aren’t bandits," said the General.

"Bandits or not, they’re the ones who hit me, Your Excellency."

The General lined his soldiers up and asked me to indicate the men who had brutalized me. I recognized three, and touched their shoulders.

The General himself shot them all in the head right in front of the entire troop. They fell at my feet. Three men dead for 200 pesos they hadn’t even managed to get from me!

Well, that was two weeks ago. This morning I noticed that 100 pesos have gone missing from my wallet. I know who did it; a soldier in the General's division called Marco. He was hanging around here last night, playing the mandolin. He recently got engaged to one of the girls in the village, and probably wants to put the money towards his wedding. My suspicions were confirmed just ten minutes ago when I found 100 pesos stuffed inside Marco's mandolin.

So my question is, should I take this evidence to the General?

Wait, wait, I have just re-counted my money and discovered that I now have 500 pesos in my wallet! How can this be? What should I do next?

stick your head in a bucket of water four times and pull it out thrice.

lock thread - nothing better can be added to this