The Greatest Moral Dilemma Of Our Time

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Picture the scene - you've poppped down to the off-license for some cigarettes or some of that nasty beer stuff I'm told is really great, and what do you find? An 'orrible shower of 14 year old charvers/Kevs/Neds (etc) - you know the sort, they tuck their tracksuit bottoms into their socks and wear jewllery from Argos - that want you to buy some CONTRABAND for them. What do you do, hmm? Flout the law to be down with the kids? Or decline in order to teach them right from wrong and that underage smoking and drinking is bad and stuff and you certainly didn't do that sort of thing when you were their age, oh no. Bear in mind that these kids look pretty keen to put you up on bricks and steal your legs. What would you do, HMM?

(People made the mistake tonight of telling me that I should stop lurking and get back to posting more often - this is what you want, this is what you get...)

― DG, Wednesday, 5 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

New "sweet as, mate" answers!

― DG, Wednesday, 5 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

tell them to quit annoying you and ask their parents. how cheeky.

― Maria, Wednesday, 5 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But then they'll blind you with their Argos jewellery.

― DG, Wednesday, 5 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

so pull the wool over their eyes.

― Maria, Wednesday, 5 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't have the courage to take them on, they're already pissed off after being upstaged.

― DG, Wednesday, 5 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What kind of wuss ass 14 year olds don't just go in and ask for their own fucking cigarettes? It's not like they don't sell them to whoever they feel like.

― Ally, Wednesday, 5 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

tart

― mike hanle y, Wednesday, 5 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I would say that I'm allergic to nicotine and can't even touch a cigarette packet without my rash flaring up. Or as it may be, that I'm a recovering alcoholic and can't go into an off licence. Then run like the wind.

― Archel, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I would say "er, no sorry mate" and then run.

― jel --, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"mark s towards mike hanley saying 'tart' to ally" = "jessica gr*se towards the breeders"

― mark s, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This sort of dilemma happens all the time down by Roxy Avenue off- license where one chapter of the local charver brotherhood lurk. Well, that's when they aren't shagging their 12yo girlfriends in people's front gardens, beating up bus drivers or smoking joints outside Sainsbury's, that is.

― DG, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I buy smokes and liquor for underage kids all the time. Mostly they don't want to me to buy for them though. They just want to bum cigarettes and beer from me. I'll give away smokes, but those fuckers can't have any my beers unless they pay. Cheap pikers.

Where is the moral dilemma here? Is there something morally wrong with kid's smoking? I mean come on.

― Alex in SF, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

pikers = pikeys?

(and just what are pikeys anyway? No-one seems to have a clear definition)

― DG, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

pik·er (n. Slang) A person regarded as petty or stingy.

[Possibly derived from Piker, a poor migrant to California, after Pike County in eastern Missouri.] (all according to dictionary.com)

― Alex in SF, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think pikeys are like the British version of gypsies, but I got that from Snatch so I trust that definition not at all.

― Alex in SF, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Very simple. Ask them what they want and then, in a loud voice deride their choices. When a young scally asked me to buy him some *cough* Hooch I responded by pointing and laughing "That's a girl's drink mate. No way I'm making a tit of myself buying that" worked like a charm (NB please no offence to be taken at the phrase "girl's drink", it was calculated to piss him off).

― Matt, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have avoided making a "That's not what I got from snatch" joke all day. I think I deserve an award.

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Can it be imaginary?

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I worked in a grocery store for a few years. I sold anything to anyone. It gave me some new found populairty in high school. (Of course, one of my little bro's friends ended up in the hospital b/c of some goldschlager I bought them... but um, we won't mention that.)

― bnw, Thursday, 6 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Tell them to sod off, and try asking their folks to buy it. Bet they couldn't get one word out;>

― Nichole Graham, Friday, 7 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I always just tell them to fuck off. I thought a "pikey" was just an alternative word for "crusty" IE locked hair, dog on string, bottle ov cider etc etc etc.

― Norman Phay, Friday, 7 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

dont joke about me vigina!

― mike hanle y, Friday, 7 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.