"Liquor cabinet? I barely know her!"
post variations here
― juliette brioche (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:04 (fifteen years ago) link
Non Sequitor? I barely know her!
― Garri$on Kilo (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:05 (fifteen years ago) link
"Pole vaulter? I barely know her!"
― juliette brioche (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:05 (fifteen years ago) link
"Rubber innertube? I barely know her!"
^^ all time fav variant
― juliette brioche (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:06 (fifteen years ago) link
How have I never heard any of these?
― ENBB, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:08 (fifteen years ago) link
"My girlfriend went to university in Wales"
"Bangor?"
"Not yet, we've only been going out for a week."
― Milijas now living will never die (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:08 (fifteen years ago) link
rectum?? i damn near killed him!!!!
― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:09 (fifteen years ago) link
my favourite ^
― the shock will be coupled with the need to dance (jim), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:10 (fifteen years ago) link
"My wife's run off to the West Indies"
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord"
― Milijas now living will never die (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:10 (fifteen years ago) link
It's supposed to be "Wrexham", isn't it? Conforming to the placename template...
xp
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:11 (fifteen years ago) link
I'm studying English at university.
Do you enjoy Dickens?
Dunno, haven't been invited to any yet.
― Real Men Play On Words (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:12 (fifteen years ago) link
My wife hails from northern Italy.Genoa?I should hope so, we've been married 10 years!
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:12 (fifteen years ago) link
(A lot of these rely on deliberation mispronounciation, it's true).
Is "she was only the [occupation]'s daughter" eligible for this thread btw
― Real Men Play On Words (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:13 (fifteen years ago) link
has this been left out because it's the most obvious?
"Foreigner? I can barely fit three in her"
― dan selzer, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:13 (fifteen years ago) link
"Rubber _____?" works every time really
― juliette brioche (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:13 (fifteen years ago) link
I've just got back from the dentist's...in North Africa.Tunisia?Yeah, a lot better, thanks!
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:13 (fifteen years ago) link
She was only the fishmonger's daughter, but she lay on the slab and said "Fillet!"
― Milijas now living will never die (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:14 (fifteen years ago) link
My wife has gone on holiday to Poole.
In Dorset?
Yes, she highly recommends it.
― Real Men Play On Words (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:14 (fifteen years ago) link
Do You like Danny Rampling?I Dunno, I've never Danny Rampled.
― ledge, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:14 (fifteen years ago) link
I don't get this one.
― he is substituite by Crime Club (HI DERE), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:14 (fifteen years ago) link
She was only the cricketer's daughter, but she took a full toss in the crease.
― Real Men Play On Words (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:15 (fifteen years ago) link
xp I think it is supposed to be a term for an orgy - my English teacher told me it aged 12 or 13
― Real Men Play On Words (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:16 (fifteen years ago) link
I'm going on holiday to Africa.Kenya?Don't see why not!
― ledge, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:17 (fifteen years ago) link
oh, maybe "dickings"?
― he is substituite by Crime Club (HI DERE), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:18 (fifteen years ago) link
She was only the general's daughter, but she slept in the officers' mess
― Real Men Play On Words (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:19 (fifteen years ago) link
My wife went on holiday to Indonesia.Jakarta?Nah she took the plane.
― ledge, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:19 (fifteen years ago) link
dick-in, as in a sit-in
― mark cl, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:20 (fifteen years ago) link
dick-ins
― mark cl, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:21 (fifteen years ago) link
?
"I visited Thailand last week"
"Bangkok?"
"Well I didn't go for the food"
― Milijas now living will never die (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:21 (fifteen years ago) link
these are great btw
Rejoinder? We never broke up!
― Garri$on Kilo (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:22 (fifteen years ago) link
"I took a friend to visit George Washington's house last week"
"Mount Vernon?"
"Tried to but he doesn't swing that way apparently"
― Milijas now living will never die (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:23 (fifteen years ago) link
― ledge, Wednesday, July 1, 2009 10:14 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
No idea who this is, but I've heard a version that involves Kipling ("I don't know, I've never kippled.").
― great gabbneb's ghost (jaymc), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:26 (fifteen years ago) link
"Supercollider? etc."
― juliette brioche (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:27 (fifteen years ago) link
There's a Big Country gag that I've been struggling to remember for weeks
― Milijas now living will never die (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:28 (fifteen years ago) link
"Stuart Adamson was a Big Country member"
"Yes, I do"
― Real Men Play On Words (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:32 (fifteen years ago) link
Oh thanx man that's been bugging me for ages
― Milijas now living will never die (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:36 (fifteen years ago) link
RIP btw
no, that's going to have to be explained to me
― darraghmac@nebbmail.com (darraghmac), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:38 (fifteen years ago) link
she was only a farmers daughter but she was a total slut
― darraghmac@nebbmail.com (darraghmac), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:39 (fifteen years ago) link
i don't get these, tbh
"member" = "remember"
― juliette brioche (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:39 (fifteen years ago) link
-i'm from alabama!-tuscaloosa?-no, i use dentu-grip
― chronologymentully (donna rouge), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:41 (fifteen years ago) link
or rather "big country member" = "big cunt, remember"
― juliette brioche (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:41 (fifteen years ago) link
ok, one down, the rest to go.
― darraghmac@nebbmail.com (darraghmac), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:41 (fifteen years ago) link
"The doctor prescribed a new tonic for my wife."
"Elixir?"
"Well, I'd never allow that!"
― Garri$on Kilo (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:42 (fifteen years ago) link
where are s1ocki & some dude, for this thread? it is crying out for dads
― juliette brioche (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:43 (fifteen years ago) link
"I took my wife out to my parents' house, just past the local ravine.""Etter?""Eventually."
(that one is for the south-of-HSTNGS massiv)
― he is substituite by Crime Club (HI DERE), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 15:45 (fifteen years ago) link
ilxor?I never her!
― hobbes (brownie), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 19:43 (fifteen years ago) link
brownie - lol!
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 19:44 (fifteen years ago) link
this thread has stopped me feeling sad.
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 21:52 (fifteen years ago) link
Bipolar?
― lynndie englisher (country matters), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 22:07 (fifteen years ago) link
Phil Spector?
― lynndie englisher (country matters), Wednesday, July 1, 2009 7:36 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Regina Spektor would 'work' 'better' imo
― Real Men Play On Words (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 22:21 (fifteen years ago) link
xp LJ - no, thank goodness.
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 22:26 (fifteen years ago) link
Seasonal Affective Disorder?
lol ok that's enough anyway who gets SAD from summer
― lynndie englisher (country matters), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 22:31 (fifteen years ago) link
Real Estate Speculator?
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 22:39 (fifteen years ago) link
Inspector Gadget?
― emil.y, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:04 (fifteen years ago) link
^^^^ awesome
― ian, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:13 (fifteen years ago) link
^^^ Inspector Gadget is up there with Rubber Inner Tube
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:15 (fifteen years ago) link
"I was into Muffin the Mule as a kid but then the police caught me"
― Milijas now living will never die (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:16 (fifteen years ago) link
Albrecht Dürer?
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:22 (fifteen years ago) link
Comatose? Pervert.
― lynndie englisher (country matters), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:25 (fifteen years ago) link
http://comps.fotosearch.com/comp/UNN/UNN424/tomato-woman-vegetable_~u11232131.jpg
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:28 (fifteen years ago) link
Enigma?
― lynndie englisher (country matters), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:29 (fifteen years ago) link
Roller Coaster?
― cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:35 (fifteen years ago) link
Wienerschnitzel?
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:37 (fifteen years ago) link
inner dialogue
― darraghmac@nebbmail.com (darraghmac), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:38 (fifteen years ago) link
inner ear?
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:38 (fifteen years ago) link
decorator
― darraghmac@nebbmail.com (darraghmac), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:40 (fifteen years ago) link
Cochlea?
― lynndie englisher (country matters), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:41 (fifteen years ago) link
Edwina!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sitina_Tunnel
― lynndie englisher (country matters), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:54 (fifteen years ago) link
for some gender equity:
a salaam alaikum?
― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:57 (fifteen years ago) link
No idea who this is, but I've heard a version that involves Kipling
"Do you prefer Browning or Kipling?"
― tokyo rosemary, Wednesday, 1 July 2009 23:58 (fifteen years ago) link
Saki all the way
― lynndie englisher (country matters), Thursday, 2 July 2009 00:00 (fifteen years ago) link
in arrears?
― the shock will be coupled with the need to dance (jim), Thursday, 2 July 2009 00:15 (fifteen years ago) link
This is fucking awesome btw.
― bro down syndrome (Trayce), Thursday, 2 July 2009 00:53 (fifteen years ago) link
Martin Heidegger?
― I hurt your arm and now I want to dress your arm, please (dyao), Thursday, 2 July 2009 01:26 (fifteen years ago) link
martin heidegger?? i can't even bestand her!!
― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Thursday, 2 July 2009 01:31 (fifteen years ago) link
actual keyboard coffee
― c.c. crabcock (electricsound), Thursday, 2 July 2009 02:36 (fifteen years ago) link
wither away and die?
what are you, dyslexic?
― real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Thursday, 2 July 2009 02:46 (fifteen years ago) link
ugh
― real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Thursday, 2 July 2009 02:52 (fifteen years ago) link
And speaking of cheeses folks, I had a cheese night at my apartment last night.
"Gouda?"
"Eh, I've had better."
"Blue?"
"No, they weren't THAT bad."
"Edam?"
"Well I sampled but I have to save some for the party!"
"Emmentaler?"
"Really sir! She's only an acquaintance and that's hardly appropriate."
― Garri$on Kilo (Hurting 2), Thursday, 2 July 2009 03:08 (fifteen years ago) link
oh wait sorry I sort of fucked up the third one.
― Garri$on Kilo (Hurting 2), Thursday, 2 July 2009 03:09 (fifteen years ago) link
She's my sister; what do I need to metaphor?
― Armageddon Two: Armageddon (dyao), Thursday, 23 July 2009 03:32 (fifteen years ago) link
i feel like i could come up with male-gender variants if i knew more yiddish
― real men have been preparing manly dishes for centuries (elmo argonaut), Friday, 28 September 2012 20:18 (eleven years ago) link
"Goyim? I hardly knew im!"
― has important things to say about gangnam style (Hurting 2), Friday, 28 September 2012 20:20 (eleven years ago) link
"You brought her! YOU lick her!"
― Trip Maker, Friday, 28 September 2012 20:31 (eleven years ago) link
thank u ilx, i needed that. *wipes away tears of laughter*
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 28 September 2012 20:37 (eleven years ago) link
thresher? I barley know her!
― has important things to say about gangnam style (Hurting 2), Friday, 28 September 2012 20:42 (eleven years ago) link
Albrecht Durer? is still making me laugh
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 28 September 2012 20:48 (eleven years ago) link
"My wife hates our dog.""Doberman Pinscher?""No! He bit her!"
― Loo Reading (Capitaine Jay Vee), Friday, 28 September 2012 21:18 (eleven years ago) link
http://ihardlyknowher.com/Flickr viewer
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Friday, 28 September 2012 21:24 (eleven years ago) link
Rubber balls & liquor.
― Three Word Username, Friday, 28 September 2012 21:26 (eleven years ago) link
Sacher Torte?
Piece of cake!
― The windiest militant trash (Michael White), Friday, 28 September 2012 21:30 (eleven years ago) link
Fokker Dreidekker?
No, the Red Baron was in town.
― Three Word Username, Friday, 28 September 2012 21:33 (eleven years ago) link
whitey bulger?
― marcos, Tuesday, 13 August 2013 13:39 (eleven years ago) link
ok lol
― ⚓ (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 16:30 (eleven years ago) link