Ridiculous things people have said to you in attempt to appear hard...

for example:

Angry Man In Pub: "There's a little man standing behind me!"
snoball (leaning slightly to look around the man): er...

was there one?

No, I think he was saying that his anger was like a little man standing behind him. Or something like that. I'm not sure how it was supposed to be threatening, it just seemed ridiculous.

Angry Man In Pub: "I visualise my anger and aggression as being like a little man standing behind me."
snoball: "Er, why a little man? Surely a big man would be more intimidating?"
AMIP: "I know, but his size is indicative of my shrivelled genitalia. However, I warn you, he is standing behind me!"
snoball: "Well if he's little I'll have no trouble kicking his head in then. Incidentally, where will you be standing while this dwarf abuse event occurs?"

AMIP: "By the bar."

snoball: "With the rest of your imaginary friends?"
AMIP: "Yes."
snoball: "Let's hope that one of them is a paramedic or something."

Well there was that time "Tommy Trouble, nooh I'm not C-man, no I'm hard me" said "You'll all be going to heaven as angels"

(I lost it completely)...

'i've been turned down by more women than you've ever even asked, son'

Oh what a feed line for 'including your own um'.

mum, argh

'i've been turned down by more women than you've ever even asked, son'

more pathetic than hard imo

yeah, but i don't think that was the intent tbf