the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

i thought this would be a fun poll so i thought i'd do a brainstorming thread first. what are you mad at george lucas for THE MOST?

stuff like:

- showing boba fett's face (and him as a whiny kid)
- greedo shooting first

...etc

i made it '90s onwards so none of you wiseacres can claim the OG star wars movies

jar jar binks of course

probably the biggest for me, fuckign with the original movies and then getting rid of the negatives (allegedly)

s1ocki beat me to that one

any of the "romantic" scenes in the new trilogy

I would have nominated trying to make Brian Benben a movie star but I suppose that's small beer.

impossible to make a coherent list of offenses

Reducing the Clone Wars, which seemed like the coolest idea ever when they were hinted at in the original series, into a bunch of boring bullshit involving "trade federations" and such.

looking like this

http://nymag.com/images/2/daily/entertainment/07/10/09_lucas_lgl.jpg

midichlorians

tehse are all good

Greedo shooting first - it totally messes up the impression that the first time audience has about Solo. Han shoots first = sketchy character who you're not sure about for the whole movie.

mrs skywalker dies of heartbreak

Indiana Jones vs. The Lame CGI & Goddam Aliens Ferfuckssake

fucking up howard the duck (or is that pre-90s?)

the kid who played anakin skywalker

Why is the thread question in plural? His biggest crime was making more movies.

when Anakin becomes Darth Vader and then looks up at the camera in the sky and goes NOOOOOOOOOO

Why is the thread question in plural? His biggest crime was making more movies.

― My name is Kenny! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, July 15, 2009 1:41 PM (48 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes smart guy we know but it's more fun to pick at the insane little details

midichlorians

― goole, Wednesday, July 15, 2009 5:38 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

if i made a thread called "the crimes of hitler" i dont think anyone would complain that it shouldnt be in plural because his crime is "the holocaust"

not at least trying out a few alternate solutions to whatever is going on with that beard and his chin

Please note that utility data for the entire campus is also included. This was the only data made available with the application, and in order to accurately estimate and verify savings, individual building meter data will need to be obtained from the campus.

^^^this, far and away. its one thing to churn out crappy product, lots of aging directors do that (hell, young ones too!), but deliberately screwing up your past work - so that NO ONE can ever enjoy it again, that's a whole other level of unforgivable.

what a weird quote

I still love the Patton Oswalt bit about how Lucas fucked up all these awesome characters by showing them as whiny kids, "you like Angelina Jolie, right? here's Jon Voight's testicle!".

i dont remember anyone saying THAT xp

hahahahah oh man

shoudve been this: probably the biggest for me, fuckign with the original movies and then getting rid of the negatives (allegedly)

fart jokes in episode 1

hahaha that is totally the highlight of my day so far

is that his pitch for a campus sex comedy?

btw if anyone wants some campus utility data hit me up yo

what drove me NUTS is how he passive-aggressively included the real movie as a "special feature" on the dvd release but not the anamorphic version. SUCH a bitch move.

i am giggling like crazy at shakey's c&p gaffe

especially, "^^^this, far and away."

I don't think we can accurately judge Lucas' output without individual building meter data!

the demuppetification of yoda.

hahaha the best was the 5 seconds before i realized what happened

i thought it was some obscure nugget about lucasfilm's data output and how that proved the originals didn't exist any more or something

hahaha the best was the 5 seconds before i realized what happened

Agreed. I was just "...wait, what?"

i think the china-town sounding trade federation dudes said something like that in ep 1

yeah i was like

Co-incidentally, someone was here to read the meter this morning.

does anyone have a cite to the real individual building meter data from Ep. 2? is that on the DVD?

"Begun this data scrub has."

i am dying at my desk here

promising to make "small, personal" films only to immediately return to raping our childhoods with his big cgi dick

no matter how much i do like spielberg, i downgrade him for pulling a few of these lucas-style moves in his career, too.

totally... ET gun/walkie thing

also to answer the thread question

http://www.ketzer.com/movie_props_replicas/pepsi_watto.jpg

i've never forgiven george lucas for starting yourprops.com

Imagine sic in a book group; someone saying 'on page 50', and he's like 'actually, if you include the publisher's imprint and title page THAT'S PAGE 54!'

the naive days when we thought the worst of george’s crimes were creating prequels and re-editing decades-old films

As far as I've seen, these are the first specifics George Lucas has shared about what his vision of Episodes 7-9 would have been. This comes from @insighteditions awesome companion book to "James Cameron's Story of Science Fiction series" on AMC: pic.twitter.com/Wtlw8zlrqv

— Livio Ramondelli (@LivioRamondelli) June 12, 2018

wow george, that really would have been something.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/32/Micronauts-1.jpg/250px-Micronauts-1.jpg

I think Lucas was only able to make the prequels because he didn't work consistently enough after SW for the world to realize how bad his ideas are.

Like I'm convinced that a Lucas who was productive through the '80s and '90s would've decisively burned up all of his capital a la Shyamalan.

If the Force is powered by the Whills, the Sith must be powered by the Whonts.

I read that post hearing the voice from Patton Oswalt's routine about time-travelling to kill Lucas pre-prequels.

lmao ‘this story would have been shit and everyone would have hated it but at least it would have been complete’

“I regret not getting to stink up that public restroom like I intended to”

the best creative ethos

http://500daysasunder.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/screen-shot-2012-10-11-at-2-05-27-pm-e1349978764535.png?w=694
what you talking about, whills?

tbf to lucas though at least he had a new idea for the series even if it was terrible - i don’t get much of a sense that disney have much interest in doing something innovative

gee really

dunno what could've given you that impression, was it the trailer for Tim Burton's live action Dumbo?

Disney stopped being concerned with innovation about 15 years ago

lol sparkle motion

would rather see microbe wars than Star Wars The Regurgitated Jedi

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/022/940/mockingspongebobbb.jpg

So if I'm connecting the dots correctly, Lucas's original idea for episode VII was tweaked to remove all SW references and ultimately filmed as

http://oneguyrambling.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/216033.1020.A-202x300.jpg

When Is Someone Gonna Make A Sci-Fi Show Or Movie Without Any People In Them?

i mean the original draft for star wars was called journal of the whills or something, right? but if those microbiotic creatures are supposedly operate differently than us, what use would they have for journals?

they weren't microbes then
the great thing about those embryonic SW versions is how they are really just these collections of cool evocative names and titles with the actual story and character matter unstable as fuck. i love that.

It was triumph not journals iirc

It's almost, almost, as if Lucas considers storytelling to be the least important element of telling a story.

which can be totally awesome! if only he had the boldness to make truly ornamental/ambient SF in that mode

I agree! I wish he could've realized his strengths and played to them more.

just edit the prequel trilogy to just the cutscenes and i think you'd have it.

"This is the story of Mace Windy, a revered Jedi-bendu of Ophuchi, as related to us by C.J. Thorpe, padawan learner to the famed Jedi."

Cool and evocative names, eh?

"ophuchi" sounds like something you'd hear this guy blabbering

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/56/Cornholion_in_Holy_Cornholio.jpg/250px-Cornholion_in_Holy_Cornholio.jpg

I assume it's a fuckup of Ophiuchi, an actual constellation

lol wins

padawan learner to the famed Jedi

this is a cool turn of phrase

just found out about this:

On the set of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Lucas shared his ideas with animation director Rob Coleman, when Coleman arrived for his first day. As Chris Taylor relates in his fantastic book How Star Wars Conquered the Universe, Lucas told Coleman “his ultimate framing device.” Taylor writes:

“The entire story of Star Wars is actually being recounted to the keeper of the Journal of the Whills—remember that?—a hundred years after the events of Return of the Jedi by none other than R2-D2.”

i do not remember that btw

lmao

r2d2 just beepin' and bloopin' for hours at a time to some low-level functionary who needs to keep stopping him because his wrist is getting tired from writing in the journal with a space fountain pen

Is r2d2 a reliable narrator? This now makes me suspicious of the endless # of scenes where r2d2 slides up and coolly saves the day while everyone else is panicking like idiots...

It would certainly explain the gratuitous number of hardcore droid-on-droid scenes so liberally sprinkled throughout the series.

lol journal of the whills only mentioned in a couple of novelizations

Only too late does the journal keeper realize R2 was Darth Sidious all along

https://media.giphy.com/media/Z8uqXqZaNT4n6/giphy.gif

Damn it, should have double-checked that gif

nah that gif seems v thread-appropriate tbh

That cup is where he keeps his whill

Not directly SW related but this is the most relevant thread I can find: The redlettermedia review of the latest Marvel movie calls Brie Larson a virtue-signalling, sexist, racist bitch for saying that most movie critics are white men. The critics of the Plinkett reviews were right -- they are awful people.

Not surprised.

Few phrases are as inadvertently self-descriptive as 'virtue-signalling' (see also: 'social justice warrior' as a pejorative). Like when you start to casually malign aspirational behavior I think you technically qualify for villain status.

I have zero reason to watch the narrative video version of clickbait that passes for commentary on youtube

a few years ago I watched a few short clips doing that sort of thing and it was entertaining as a one-off novelty but everything's gone down the path of "this movie is a failure because it has a political agenda" or "top ten plot holes!" where a plot hole is anything that has an implied offscreen action that wasn't spoon-fed to the viewers

I just saw a 'May the Fourth be With You' sign in the window of a funeral directors.

xp: it is the world's worst promotional tie-in product ever; a giant lollipop shaped like a tongue in a case shaped like Jar-Jar's head with a plunger on the back you have to push in to make it open, meaning that eating the lollipop requires french-kissing a Jar-Jar Binks toy

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 21:58 (eight years ago) bookmarkflaglink

I have a still-unopened one of these buried somewhere in a pile of junk in my house, because when I saw that thing it was just too hilarious for me not to purchase it

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 21:58 (eight years ago)

^^^ you're not the only one... (NSFW obviously)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-drxdYedUU

Me screening THX-1138 for the first time ever yesterday when the bit with the hologram of the cop beating a guy came on

https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/033/487/rick.jpg

"MR. SELF-DESTRUCT"!"

(To tie this back more directly to the thread topic: Whoo boy do those circa-2004 F/X 'upgrades' stick out like a sore thumb)

so boba fett probably died of old age, i just realized

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little)

as it turns out he crawled out and....became the avuncular local politician we never knew we needed to set things right?

"Whoo boy do those circa-2004 F/X 'upgrades' stick out like a sore thumb)"

One thing that puzzled me about the DVD of THX-1138 is that nowhere in the commentary track does George Lucas acknowledge that it was a special edition with extra CGI. It's as if the studio did it without his knowledge, and then told him that he had to accept it. And yet apparently he was involved in the process, according to this interview, so who I am.

I saw it first when it was on Alex Cox's Moviedrome, and someone has preserved the introduction:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qYPwrvfN7M

I remember it started with a clip from Buck Rogers, or Flash Gordon, and the credits went the other way, but both of those things were taken out of the DVD version. It's actually pretty good as a typical early-70s dystopian sci-fi film. A bit like Phase IV but with a more coherent ending. "But it doesn't have ants", ah but the people are like ants - bald, and the wear white suits, just like ants.