squid are dicks.

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D99FNF0O0&show_article=1

The so-called Humboldt squid, which can grow up to 100 pounds, are native to the deep waters off Mexico, where they have been known to attack humans and are nicknamed "red devils" for their rust-red coloring and mean streak. Those who dive with them there chum the water with bait and sometimes get in a metal cage or wear chain mail to avoid being lashed by tentacles.

"I wouldn't go into the water with them for the same reason I wouldn't walk into a pride of lions on the Serengeti," said Mike Bear, a local diver.

"It's weird, I go around and bother them and get in their way and they want to kill me. Fuckers."

To be fair, most things in the ocean don't have that kind of deense mechanism handy. So it comes as a surprise the first time you die.

I've said it before, its us vs. the cephalopods

Ned has more or less described my attitude toward crowds -- that is, from the point of view of the squid.

"Some cephalopods are able to fly distances up to 50 m. While the organisms are not particularly aerodynamic, they achieve these rather impressive ranges by use of jet-propulsion; water continues to be expelled from the funnel while the organism is in flight."

Some divers report tentacles enveloping their masks and yanking at their cameras and gear.

Okay yeah, I would really hate to have been the first diver suddenly and unexpectedly enveloped by the tentacles of a five-foot squid

Especially if said diver were an anime fan

where's the story of the octopus that was sneaking out of its tank each night to eat the fish in another tank situated on the other side of the lab...

"water continues to be expelled from the funnel while the organism is in flight."

if you go fishing for squid and you catch one, the first thing it does is squirt ink everywhere... then it fills up with water and keeps trying to gtfo using the above techniqe.

collective biomass of cephalopods outweighs the biomass of humanity = we are screwed

Has someone for one welcomed them yet?

aye

collective biomass of cephalopods outweighs the biomass of humanity = we are screwed

By that logic, insects should have killed us all long ago. I don't even have bugs in my apartment.

^^^haha waht

bugs you can SEE maybe

also bugs are stupid, their brains are tiny, etc. cephalopods are fucking SMART

We know things that they do not. Some of us even have figured out to stay away from mean-ass squid.

the whole living-in-gas versus living-in-liquid thing is pretty handy on this front

cephalopods are fucking SMART

They are.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8cf7tPoN5o

squid eyes are a trip. they look humanesque.

cephalopods are insanely smart btw

wait shakey already said that

welp alright it bears repeating

those are some smart ass dudes

where's the story of the octopus that was sneaking out of its tank each night to eat the fish in another tank situated on the other side of the lab...

― Bizarro Morbius (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, July 16, 2009 5:20 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this is exactly what i was just thinking of aint that the craziest dang thing

not only that but it would short out the motion sensor with its water stream iirc

Spray pain on the cam, so it can take off its ski mask.

Como el Gran Houdini

squid eyes are a trip. they look humanesque.

Because they are! They have a single lens eye, like a vertebrate.

Otto, Octopus rebel

How do you know all this, kenan?

squid may not be dicks but andrew breitbart sure is

How do you know all this, kenan?

I was charmed by my first video of an octopus unscrewing a jar lid. And I have internet access.

The title of this thread, plus a high fever, plus a working knowledge of anime is REALLY not making for some pleasant imagery right now.

I was always intrigued by a non-mammal having evolved such a clever brain and also thrilled by the fact that they have green blood.

they aren't so smart when i'm eating them.

Well, hopefully they're dead by that point.

Death Be Not Smrt

I asked because I really want an octopus and thought maybe you had one.

Don't steal kenan's imaginary octopus

Octopus vs. Mr. Potato Head!

I ate their babies last night :(

They know.

holy shit at that video w/the crabs in jars. everything about it, incl. the music.

i mean, that octopus can fucking seriously get into a jar and eat some crabs

thankfully someone else ordered their babies, and I only shared, and I didn't pay, so there's no credit-card record

also i bet his tentacles taste delicious

I would not put it past an octopus to track me down via my bank

i mean, that octopus can fucking seriously get into a jar and eat some crabs

And while he does it, he's soooo pretty. Graceful, fluid, purposeful. You could never compete with an octopus on a dance floor.

hey Kenan, is this dance floor located ON LAND, IN THE AIR? because I'm pretty sure I could kick an octopus's ass, or whatever octopuses have instead of asses, on a "dance floor"

TAKE THAT, OCTOPODIATRISTS

You sure about that, tough guy?

http://www.customaniacs.org/forum/attachments/scanned-covers/161447d1244927609-mega-shark-vs-giant-octopus-mega-shark-vs-giant-octopus-p.jpg

Yeah. Read this last week. Had nightmares.

thread title otm

What I don't get though is if the squid released sperm into her mouth then were they actual squid babbies in there or just some kind of sperm sacks? I mean, where they eggs? I don't understand the technical aspects of this and it's bugging me.

oh god

It was not an isolated incident btw. The article I read said that it's happened to 3 ppl over the course of the last year or so.

Think of all the ages that people have been eating squid, this must have happened thousands of times...

so there must be *some* squid-people around.

mouth brooders

ENBB, they were spermatophores. They're essentially dart-like bags of sperm that are shot into the female when squid fuck.

And now I don't have to bother asking how the squid comes.

this charmingly ancient bit of government html is pretty coy about it

http://seawifs.gsfc.nasa.gov/OCEAN_PLANET/HTML/squid_reproduction.html

Yeah, I know. I was just being an idiot earlier. nm.

squid...inseminates... mouth?

;_;

the glowing squid are cool though

A vet friend of mine (so she should bloody know better) posted about the sqidsperm story on FB with "THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULDNT EAT SQUID!". Uh... here, we dont eat squid half-raw with all its insides still intact. we eat dead, gutted, and cleaned squid hoods, they ain't gonna do nothing to nobody. She's a vet. She should know this.

I think shes also a vegetarian, tho that may have been driving her "nerr seafood!" thing.

my friend works for a japanese sushi restaurant, and he was all 'that's what you get for eating KOREAN sushi', being a smartass

This is What Happens When a Squid Listens to Cypress Hill

During experiments on the axons of the Woods Hole squid (loligo pealei), we tested our cockroach leg stimulus protocol on the squid's chromatophores. The results were both interesting and beautiful. The video is a view through an 8x microscope zoomed in on the dorsal side of the caudal fin of the squid. We used a suction electrode to stimulate the fin nerve. Chromatophores are pigmeted cells that come in 3 colors: Brown, Red, and Yellow. Each chromatophore is lined with up to 16 muscles that contract to reveal their color.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-OVrI9x8Zs

omg

WHAT?

that is so damn cool

holy smokes. would fit terrifying squid thesis better if it were the squid responding itself rather than being stimulated, tho.

chromatophores otm

the squids are not pleased abotu all this

They simulated the nerve signals that trigger the muscles by connecting an iPhone to one of the creature’s dorsal fins with a suction electrode. When audio was sent to the squid in the form of electrical signals, the voltage changes made the pigment cells dance in sync with the music.

In essence, they turned the cells into actuators, a type of transducer — i.e., a device that turn one kind of signal (usually electrical) into motion. In this case, they converted sound (mechanical energy) into electrical impulses, which in turn produced motion in the chromatophore cells in the squid skin. Pretty ingenious, huh?

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/cocktail-party-physics/2012/08/25/shiny-on-the-iridescence-of-squid/

EFFING COOL

Wasn't sure where to put this, figured the speculation that it may belong to a squid was reason enough

http://www.trbimg.com/img-5076fd5e/turbine/fl-mystery-eyeball-20121011-001/600

Huge eyeball turns up in Pompano Beach
October 11, 2012|By David Fleshler, Sun Sentinel

Taking his usual morning stroll along the surf in Pompano Beach, Gino Covacci noticed a strange ball-like object at the high tide line. He kicked it over and found himself staring at the biggest eyeball he had ever seen.

The blue, softball-sized orb he found Wednesday was a departure from the shells, cigarette butts and seaweed he usually sees. He put it in a plastic bag and put that in the refrigerator.

"It was very, very fresh," he said Thursday. "It was still bleeding when I put it in the plastic bag."

He notified a police officer, who gave him the phone number for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. No one could say immediately what species the giant eye came from.

Wildlife officers placed the eyeball on ice. It will be preserved in formalin, a mixture of formaldehyde and water, before being sent for analysis to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Research Institute in St. Petersburg, said Carli Segelson, spokeswoman for the wildlife commission.

So what creature is now swimming around with an eye patch?

No one is certain, although the waters off South Florida abound with species large enough to be possibilities, including swordfish, tuna, sharks and whales. Giant squids are known for developing huge eyes to gather in what little light reaches their deep ocean habitat.

Charles Messing, a professor at Nova Southeastern University's Oceanographic Center, said he couldn't rule out a giant squid but his examination of photographs of various marine creatures led him to think the most likely candidate was a swordfish.

Swordfish are extremely common off South Florida, which supports an active commercial and recreational fishery.

Segelson said the identification of the species could take some time, although scientists are starting to narrow it down.

"Right now it sounds like a large fish is the leading candidate," she said.

http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2012-10-11/news/fl-mystery-eyeball-20121011_1_swordfish-giant-squid-wildlife-officers

O_O~~~

(O)

Nightmare fuel.

the casual "oh yeah it was totes still bleeding" is gonna keep me awake for a while

http://i.imgur.com/h5FpT.jpg

(((o)))

i've given far too much thought this afternoon to why disembodied giant eyeballs are so terrifying

and i've even been, like, doing work and stuff

also i still love this lol thread title

http://www.nytimes.com/1993/01/24/arts/photography-view-a-spooky-fascination-with-disembodied-eyes.html

ohgod there is so much terrible psychedelic art involving the disembodied eyeball. like maybe the real hallmark of a good artist should be being able to do this ~right~
haha, yeah i don't know
how does some sort of work and other very similar stuff just not work, it's interesting, such is art, bleargh raar eyebals
http://www.dailyartfixx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/border-naotohattori.jpg

oh I love that

when I was in college I coveted a v expensive ring that that had a sculpted eyeball staring out of the middle of it

I kinda love disembodied eyes
...just not giant squid eyes that are still bleeding, so much

ring for your finger, ie jewelery, oh what's the use

ah yes rings like that i have seen them
i thought eyeball bouncy balls were hilarious and awesome when i was a kid

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6s20dmocj1rn641z.gif

i could hardly watch that the first time i saw it. but it's just a movie. it's just. a movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1n8A5VkNPo

it's just a calf's eye

*urk*

yes!!
xp

dissected a cow's eye in highschool. good aqueous-humour times.

http://www.thebestlittlefilmhouse.com/ekmps/shops/tblfh01/images/kafka-original-one-sheet-1991-rolled-steven-soderbergh-directed-cool-image-of-jeremy-irons--4651-p.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/0yIzC.gif

I HATE YOU

also lol

It is a swordfish eye.

we dont have a swordfish are dicks thread tho

https://www.amnh.org/calendar/squids

^free zoom talk with a marine biologist at the American Museum of Natural History about the future of squid in the anthropocene - Thursday, November 15 at 2pm