What's in your local paper this week?

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So, what controversies are rocking your parish?...

My local paper has the following scandalous stories:

"Sea scout hut will rise from the ashes"

"Neighbourly scones"

― jel --, Saturday, 8 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"community in fear after 2 attacks"

"chalk farm man in fight for life after assaults"

― gareth, Saturday, 8 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Murder.

― cuba libre (nathalie), Saturday, 8 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

in the classifieds, as always, there is an advert for a small upright piano, this ad has appeared every week for as long as I can remember.

― jel --, Saturday, 8 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe it's a coded message jel.

"HARBOUR CASH WARNING: MP Michael Foster has thrown a shadow over the £500,000 government cash injection to improve Rye Harbour Road - casting doubt over the possibility of 600 new jobs." THIS STORY MAKES NO SENSE.

"Boom time at Rye Harbour"

"Traffic Lights 'only way forward'"

"Child's Play - in miniature"

In gardening advice: "Lemon Balm soothes and relieves pain"

― Graham, Saturday, 8 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Make of this what you will

Tories being Tories

Real Internet Mentalists

― DG, Saturday, 8 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A while back there was (allegedly) a giant catfish nicking cute baby ducklings from a local nature reserve. Entertainingly hyperbolic local rag headline in 3-inch caps WHAT LIES BENEATH?

― Matt, Sunday, 9 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

nw5 mum finds son hanged
jubilee picture special!

― gareth, Sunday, 9 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

this girl in her first year of cross-country won a bunch of stuff and set a state record in a two-mile run, she's been in the paper every week since fall.

― Maria, Sunday, 9 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Fire Evacuation Exercise at Local High School
Deadly Danish Seal Virus is Spreading
Its all happening in Leiden.

― stevo, Sunday, 9 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Ormskirk Midweek Advertiser this week has the utterly nonsensical headline "Plans Ignore Needs Claim"

― Lynskey, Sunday, 9 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

haha the hackney gazette once had a headline "man finds eyeball in packet of crisps", and pic of man plus girly plus the pkt of crisps but not plus the eyeball => later it was admitted that he was a hoaxer and the HG had been had

― mark s, Sunday, 9 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v472/birdnestsoup/barry.jpg

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Blimey!

Glad this thread got revived!, btw the ad about the piano is there, every week without fail, it's the first thing I check every week.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

They've probably paid more than what it's worth in advertising fees by now. I'd just chuck it out the window if I were them.

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"New Rome may be wiped off map forever"

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

'Singer Lemar stars at 15m car complex'

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I remember reading the Barry Manilow story in my own local paper - Middle Rasen is reasonably local to here. It was nearly two years ago, now.

Tonight's local paper is full of stuff about a man who was beaten to death outside our village Co-Op on Monday night. Pages of quotes as to what a great bloke he was; you had to read between the lines slightly to work out that he'd spent most of his adult life in prison.

(he was only 23, as far as I can remember - in fact, he must have been at school with one of my work colleagues. Must remember to ask him if they knew each other)

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"While one might expect a uniform, across-the-board policy for the hours of operation for an established executive branch of the United States government, that is not that case with the U.S. Postal Service.

A Times analysis of the five post offices across the Island revealed five different operation schedules for the five lobbies and five different schedules for the lobby windows."

Big news.

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Thursday, 18 November 2004 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

In other news:
"Those lightweight inserts that flutter out from between the pages of your newspaper deserve a close read. The “One Stop Savings” flyers may save you substantial bucks, even if those red-and-green-circle-marked offers may be considered deals only on this high-priced Island.

The Times compared our Stop&Shop flyer to several off-Island Stop&Shop flyers within the same week, and found that not only do the products often differ from those offered on the mainland, they also appear to be, relatively, marked-up bargains."

It's slow round these parts.

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Thursday, 18 November 2004 00:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, I just had a look at our local paper headlines and came up with the same one Rumpy did, that Lemar is opening a garage down the road. In other news, Darius is switching on the town Christmas lights, because although David Sneddon is actually from Paisley, it's better to bring in people who, you know, didn't win their reality singing show thing.

There's also one about a bloke selling his snake because he's bought a puppy and he's frightened the snake might kill it. This is amusingly headlined "Snake Me An Offer". It doesn't explain why he bought the puppy knowing full well his snake was probably going to kill it.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 18 November 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Our local paper had a photo of Darius with his arm round a teenage fan last night

(the local paper recently put on a free concert for recent school-leavers, with Darius, N. Bedingfield, etc. - they're still milking the publicity)

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 18 November 2004 07:59 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.postimees.ee/

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 18 November 2004 08:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I remember reading the Barry Manilow story in my own local paper - Middle Rasen is reasonably local to here. It was nearly two years ago, now.

Oh yeah, but I was back-dating to make it contemporaneous with the original thread... obviously! So, did the bizzies ever solve the mystery, Caitlin?

― NickB (NickB), Thursday, 18 November 2004 09:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I think they did, eventually, although I can't remember any of the details. It took a few months, though.

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 18 November 2004 11:23 (twenty-one years ago)

eighteen years pass...

"He shouted out and excused the woman of being a liar during the proceedings."

― Mark G, Thursday, 7 September 2023 09:23 (two years ago)

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